No presents at kids birthday.

simongurnick · 13-09-2019 4:30pm #1

I have twins just turned 9 and we are having a party for them at a local community centre. They want to invite the whole class so possibly 25 kids. I dont want 50 toys coming home or making people buy two presents. Whats a good way to put that in the invite without coming across as a dick?

brevity · 13-09-2019 4:31pm

Donation box for local charity?

Zenify · 13-09-2019 4:32pm

We want your Presence not your Presents. I heard it before and really liked it.

Vinnie222 · 13-09-2019 4:33pm

In our school its 10 euros or whatever you can afford in a card

TheValeyard · 13-09-2019 4:33pm

'no gift required, kids are already spoiled brats'

Or just accept the toys and gift them to a charity. Gotta be a place that would gladly take brand new toys, especially with Christmas three months away.

NTC · 13-09-2019 4:34pm

At my children's school, the parents put down 'no present", and that is taken to mean a €5 instead of the present.

I really like to donation box idea, at 9 they would understand the good of something like that.

lawred2 · 13-09-2019 4:36pm

"Your presence is all the fun A & B want..."

jam_mac_jam · 13-09-2019 4:37pm

You won't seem like a dick. People will like it. Kids have way too much now and you end up spending a fortune on parties through the year.

xabi · 13-09-2019 4:38pm

5 Euro party, that seems to be the done thing here.

TheValeyard · 13-09-2019 4:39pm

Zenify wrote: »

We want your Presence not your Presents. I heard it before and really liked it.

I dunno. I keep picturing this.

_Brian · 13-09-2019 4:39pm

“Cash only no gifts” on the invitation. Maybe stick on an iban number for ease of transfer.

Tomw86 · 13-09-2019 4:42pm

A parent did it last year - A would prefer money in a card as they have their eyes on something in particular.

I appreciated it as it removed the hassle.

Any parents who complain just cut their kid next year - easy!

TheValeyard · 13-09-2019 4:52pm

Tomw86 wrote: »

A parent did it last year - A would prefer money in a card as they have their eyes on something in particular.

I appreciated it as it removed the hassle.

Any parents who complain just cut their kid next year - easy!

I'm not sure, kids talk these days and violence seems abit of an overreaction

mr_edge_to_you · 13-09-2019 5:26pm

My son was at a party recently - brother and sister. When we RSVPed there was simply a text message back saying

"That's great, Xxxx will be delighted Yyyy can make it. We've agreed with the kids that there would be no presents. The party is their present".

Fr_Dougal · 13-09-2019 5:27pm

€10 Entry Fee

SEPT 23 1989 · 13-09-2019 5:31pm

No presents

Great party alright

endacl · 13-09-2019 5:33pm

‘No presents. Bring a bottle and a bird.’

Job done.

jimmycrackcorm · 13-09-2019 5:33pm

_Brian wrote: »

“Cash only no gifts” on the invitation. Maybe stick on an iban number for ease of transfer.

Luddite. Heya my phone number for Revolut transfers

freshpopcorn · 13-09-2019 5:34pm

Mod Note Moved from After Hours to Parenting please follow local guidelines!

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 13-09-2019 5:35pm

Tomw86 wrote: »

A parent did it last year - A would prefer money in a card as they have their eyes on something in particular.

I appreciated it as it removed the hassle.

Any parents who complain just cut their kid next year - easy!

OP, don’t do this!

Gregor Samsa · 13-09-2019 5:52pm

In our school (a Gaelscoil) pretty much everyone does “Carta Cúig” - a card with a fiver in it. It’s just written on the invite. Easy to afford, and better in every way than the token presents you’d get otherwise.

You could say no presents on the invite, but a lot of people won’t heed it because they’ll feel bad for the kid. Kids really like getting a stack of fivers.

the14thwarrior · 13-09-2019 6:01pm

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

In our school (a Gaelscoil) pretty much everyone does “Carta Cúig” - a card with a fiver in it. It’s just written on the invite. Easy to afford, and better in every way than the token presents you’d get otherwise.

You could say no presents on the invite, but a lot of people won’t heed it because they’ll feel bad for the kid. Kids really like getting a stack of fivers.

no matter how mainstream it becomes or is trying to become, it's still rude to put something like that on an invite. the whole idea is come to a party. if you want to bring a gift, bring one.

asking people for a fiver, is asking for a present. no matter how you dress it up. and thats rude

Milly33 · 13-09-2019 6:13pm

So not looking forward to this time coming around, between this and the gifts for teachers! Just put on the invite no presents at all end, it really annoys me how people do not respect your choice with stuff like this. You end up with a pile of crap you do not want

lazygal · 13-09-2019 6:14pm

We do the fiver in a card thing in our school. A couple of parents complain every time the group invites go out but 90% appreciate not having to buy crap. We'd spend more than a fiver getting anything for their buddies.

byhookorbycrook · 13-09-2019 6:15pm

If you ask for "no presents" people get confused and some buy because they feel they should and then the others feel badly. The €5 card is good if you can get all the other parents on board, you can always donate it to a charity.

Grumpypants · 13-09-2019 6:16pm

I really like the fiver in a card Idea. Then a day out at Smyths and they can pick what they want.

Springfields · 13-09-2019 6:19pm

Yep "fiver fever" is what happens here. You would feel bad turning up to a party with nothing ..and a fiver wont break the bank ..

lazygal · 13-09-2019 6:19pm

Grumpypants wrote: »

I really like the fiver in a card Idea. Then a day out at Smyths and they can pick what they want.

Yeah I'm converted . At first I was all "how very dare you ask for cash" but now I appreciate not having to think of anything for a child I don't know. Everyone in the class tends to be invited to joint parties in our school and the fiver thing reduces the hassle immensely.

lazygal · 13-09-2019 6:20pm

Grumpypants wrote: »

I really like the fiver in a card Idea. Then a day out at Smyths and they can pick what they want.

Yeah I'm converted . At first I was all "how very dare you ask for cash" but now I appreciate not having to think of anything for a child I don't know. Everyone in the class tends to be invited to joint parties in our school and the fiver thing reduces the hassle immensely.

Treppen · 13-09-2019 6:25pm

Tomw86 wrote: »

A parent did it last year - A would prefer money in a card as they have their eyes on something in particular.

I appreciated it as it removed the hassle.

Any parents who complain just cut their kid next year - easy!

The Cobra Kai dojo of parenting.

I like it :pac:

byhookorbycrook · 13-09-2019 6:26pm

Milly33 wrote: »

So not looking forward to this time coming around, between this and the gifts for teachers!

No need to buy teachers a present, we don't expect it. Write a sincere thank you note , if you feel it's warranted.

starbaby2003 · 13-09-2019 7:48pm

lazygal wrote: »

We do the fiver in a card thing in our school. A couple of parents complain every time the group invites go out but 90% appreciate not having to buy crap. We'd spend more than a fiver getting anything for their buddies.

What do they complain about?

jlm29 · 13-09-2019 8:13pm

€5 parties have become very common. Not in my sons school unfortunately, but I live in hope. As a parent, I would be THRILLED to get an invite that said “don’t buy me a plastic piece of tat, gimme a fiver instead”.
A lot of parents give cash or vouchers anyhow, but if you don’t say anything you’ll have to deal with a lot of crap.

Milly33 · 13-09-2019 8:27pm

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

No need to buy teachers a present, we don't expect it. Write a sincere thank you note , if you feel it's warranted.

Yeah

i heard so many people talking about it last year I was like really.. In Holland tis a big thing where you are kinda expected to give something

Abel Ruiz · 13-09-2019 8:31pm

Springfields wrote: »

Yep "fiver fever" is what happens here. You would feel bad turning up to a party with nothing ..and a fiver wont break the bank ..

Why?
What does the child need?
Any present ends up in the skip soon enough.

Digs · 13-09-2019 8:43pm

jlm29 wrote: »

€5 parties have become very common. Not in my sons school unfortunately, but I live in hope. As a parent, I would be THRILLED to get an invite that said “don’t buy me a plastic piece of tat, gimme a fiver instead”.
A lot of parents give cash or vouchers anyhow, but if you don’t say anything you’ll have to deal with a lot of crap.

Totally agree. My daughters school does it and it’s fantastic. A win win. I cannot fathom why anyone would give out about it but some will complain about anything!

She bought a really good scooter after her last party.

shesty · 13-09-2019 8:51pm

All over that.I can't figure out a nice way to say it. I like the post about the text saying "no presents required, we agreed that the party is the present". Or something to that effect.

Neither me nor the environment need more plastic rubbish in my house. And it's fun for my kids for about 20 minutes and then at least 80% of it gets forgotten about.

Coz · 13-09-2019 8:54pm

Fiver Fever parties are great.

No stress for the gift giver.
No mountains of toys in the house and the kid who's birthday it is gets to go to Smyths to but 1 big thing.

Kid is delighted and there's only 1 new toy in the house.

Did I mention about there being less toys in the house??

Gregor Samsa · 13-09-2019 9:54pm

the14thwarrior wrote: »

no matter how mainstream it becomes or is trying to become, it's still rude to put something like that on an invite. the whole idea is come to a party. if you want to bring a gift, bring one.

asking people for a fiver, is asking for a present. no matter how you dress it up. and thats rude

That may be your opinion of the theory, but in actual practice, I’ve never heard of anyone in our school think that it’s rude (I’ve 3 kids there, so we’ve been to plenty of parties)

I guess if you’re the kind of person who looks at it as an instruction, it would seem rude. If you take it as the suggestion it’s intended to be, then it isn’t. You can still decide to bring a physical present or nothing if you want. All it’s doing is saying “it’s all right not to buy a present or put a large amount of cash in an envelope, if you want to bring something, a fiver is perfectly fine”, and that takes the stress off a lot of people.

jlm29 · 13-09-2019 10:20pm

the14thwarrior wrote: »

no matter how mainstream it becomes or is trying to become, it's still rude to put something like that on an invite. the whole idea is come to a party. if you want to bring a gift, bring one.

asking people for a fiver, is asking for a present. no matter how you dress it up. and thats rude

I see what you’re saying, but I don’t think anyone would take offence. I’m sure It’s a huge relief for a lot of parents. In my sons school, €15 in a card or a voucher for €15 is pretty standard, and it’s a bit much. I’ve got 4 kids, and I dread when they’re all bringing home invitations. I really hope someone suggests it in the school at some point, but I’m not brave enough!
The parents who buy physical presents for their kids to bring frequently buy really cheap stuff that’s kinda big, to make it look like it cost more than it did. It’s usually flimsy, and it’s almost always broken and in the bin within a week. There’s a huge environmental impact associated with all the unnecessary plastic, not to mention financial pressure on parents and unnecessary hassle.

lazygal · 13-09-2019 10:42pm

starbaby2003 wrote: »

lazygal wrote: »

We do the fiver in a card thing in our school. A couple of parents complain every time the group invites go out but 90% appreciate not having to buy crap. We'd spend more than a fiver getting anything for their buddies.

What do they complain about?

One parent had a huge moral argument a about gift giving and money and whatnot. She soon changed her tune after a few parties.

nikpmup · 14-09-2019 3:39pm

Last invitation we got was worded " a present is not required obviously but if you do want to give something €5 in a card is perfect".
We're not doing a party this year, going to take him to legoland instead but I'll certainly be employing this tactic when we do have one.

Call me Al · 14-09-2019 3:53pm

xabi wrote: »

5 Euro party, that seems to be the done thing here.

Yeah. So did my friend. It was the official "rule" amongst the parents.

Until her daughter's party and every single card had at least 10euro. My friend was mortified as she had been dilligently following this rule all year.

the14thwarrior · 15-09-2019 1:29pm

Call me Al wrote: »

Yeah. So did my friend. It was the official "rule" amongst the parents.

Until her daughter's party and every single card had at least 10euro. My friend was mortified as she had been dilligently following this rule all year.

and so it begins.
it becomes a thing

ch750536 · 16-09-2019 10:19am

simongurnick wrote: »

I have twins just turned 9 and we are having a party for them at a local community centre. They want to invite the whole class so possibly 25 kids. I dont want 50 toys coming home or making people buy two presents. Whats a good way to put that in the invite without coming across as a dick?

Let's leave the planet in a good state for future generations please don't buy anything, if you wish, make a donation to the Woodland League, http://www.woodlandleague.org/donations/

Hoboo · 16-09-2019 10:26am

xabi wrote: »

5 Euro party, that seems to be the done thing here.

It's €20 around here. Which is ridiculous. Think that's in a play centre but it's insane. I have friends with 2 and 3 kids and Saturday is literally a day of taxiing, plus cash flying out of the wallet.

Hoboo · 16-09-2019 10:28am

ch750536 wrote: »

Let's leave the planet in a good state for future generations please don't buy anything, if you wish, make a donation to the Woodland League, http://www.woodlandleague.org/donations/

Cant see a charity number?

ch750536 · 16-09-2019 10:31am

Hoboo wrote: »

Cant see a charity number?

Just an example, insert own

Clareman · 16-09-2019 10:42am

In my kids school they do a "Carta Cuig" where you just put a fiver in a card and that's it, it's brilliant as the house isn't full of rubbish and the child gets to go to the toy shop with all their fivers to get what they want.

TheBoyConor · 16-09-2019 11:23am

When I was in school there was none of this invite half the school to your birthday carry on. When did all this start?

It really seems like the celtic tiger times are back . Massive organised parties for kids birthdays with big numbers attending and then truckloads of presents and hundreds of euros spent on it all. It all seems a bit excessive and unnecessary.

My nieces are destroyed from this craic. The house is literally under a layer of toys and presents. They don't even appreciate a Christmas gift anymore because they have so so much stuff. I was annoyed last xmas when I got one of them a present and they didn't even bother to remove the wrapping. Just tore off enough to see what it was, "oh, its a x" then casually dropped it and moved on to the next thing. Not so much as a thank you.

Debub · 16-09-2019 1:01pm

We have a 4 yr old and a 8 yr old. For the older one - we thought of doing a no presents one - but they just so love to open the gifts the next day - doesn't matter how crap or plasticky they are. The fivers/tenners are just kept to the side. The birthday gifts excite them and make them happy 0- the fivers dont, its just the other way for us the parents, but for now we are going with gifts... maybe try and explain the charity concept to them fro next year and see how that goes

No presents at kids birthday.

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