No presents at kids birthday.

starbaby2003

lazygal wrote: »

We do the fiver in a card thing in our school. A couple of parents complain every time the group invites go out but 90% appreciate not having to buy crap. We'd spend more than a fiver getting anything for their buddies.

What do they complain about?

jlm29

€5 parties have become very common. Not in my sons school unfortunately, but I live in hope. As a parent, I would be THRILLED to get an invite that said “don’t buy me a plastic piece of tat, gimme a fiver instead”.
A lot of parents give cash or vouchers anyhow, but if you don’t say anything you’ll have to deal with a lot of crap.

Milly33

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

No need to buy teachers a present, we don't expect it. Write a sincere thank you note , if you feel it's warranted.

Yeah i heard so many people talking about it last year I was like really.. In Holland tis a big thing where you are kinda expected to give something

Abel Ruiz

Springfields wrote: »

Yep "fiver fever" is what happens here. You would feel bad turning up to a party with nothing ..and a fiver wont break the bank ..

Why?
What does the child need?
Any present ends up in the skip soon enough.

Digs

jlm29 wrote: »

€5 parties have become very common. Not in my sons school unfortunately, but I live in hope. As a parent, I would be THRILLED to get an invite that said “don’t buy me a plastic piece of tat, gimme a fiver instead”.
A lot of parents give cash or vouchers anyhow, but if you don’t say anything you’ll have to deal with a lot of crap.

Totally agree. My daughters school does it and it’s fantastic. A win win. I cannot fathom why anyone would give out about it but some will complain about anything!

She bought a really good scooter after her last party.

shesty

All over that.I can't figure out a nice way to say it. I like the post about the text saying "no presents required, we agreed that the party is the present". Or something to that effect.

Neither me nor the environment need more plastic rubbish in my house. And it's fun for my kids for about 20 minutes and then at least 80% of it gets forgotten about.

Coz

Fiver Fever parties are great.

No stress for the gift giver.
No mountains of toys in the house and the kid who's birthday it is gets to go to Smyths to but 1 big thing.

Kid is delighted and there's only 1 new toy in the house.

Did I mention about there being less toys in the house??

Gregor Samsa

the14thwarrior wrote: »

no matter how mainstream it becomes or is trying to become, it's still rude to put something like that on an invite. the whole idea is come to a party. if you want to bring a gift, bring one.

asking people for a fiver, is asking for a present. no matter how you dress it up. and thats rude

That may be your opinion of the theory, but in actual practice, I’ve never heard of anyone in our school think that it’s rude (I’ve 3 kids there, so we’ve been to plenty of parties)

I guess if you’re the kind of person who looks at it as an instruction, it would seem rude. If you take it as the suggestion it’s intended to be, then it isn’t. You can still decide to bring a physical present or nothing if you want. All it’s doing is saying “it’s all right not to buy a present or put a large amount of cash in an envelope, if you want to bring something, a fiver is perfectly fine”, and that takes the stress off a lot of people.

jlm29

the14thwarrior wrote: »

no matter how mainstream it becomes or is trying to become, it's still rude to put something like that on an invite. the whole idea is come to a party. if you want to bring a gift, bring one.

asking people for a fiver, is asking for a present. no matter how you dress it up. and thats rude

I see what you’re saying, but I don’t think anyone would take offence. I’m sure It’s a huge relief for a lot of parents. In my sons school, €15 in a card or a voucher for €15 is pretty standard, and it’s a bit much. I’ve got 4 kids, and I dread when they’re all bringing home invitations. I really hope someone suggests it in the school at some point, but I’m not brave enough!
The parents who buy physical presents for their kids to bring frequently buy really cheap stuff that’s kinda big, to make it look like it cost more than it did. It’s usually flimsy, and it’s almost always broken and in the bin within a week. There’s a huge environmental impact associated with all the unnecessary plastic, not to mention financial pressure on parents and unnecessary hassle.

lazygal

starbaby2003 wrote: »

lazygal wrote: »

We do the fiver in a card thing in our school. A couple of parents complain every time the group invites go out but 90% appreciate not having to buy crap. We'd spend more than a fiver getting anything for their buddies.

What do they complain about?

One parent had a huge moral argument a about gift giving and money and whatnot. She soon changed her tune after a few parties.

nikpmup

Last invitation we got was worded " a present is not required obviously but if you do want to give something €5 in a card is perfect".
We're not doing a party this year, going to take him to legoland instead but I'll certainly be employing this tactic when we do have one.

Call me Al

xabi wrote: »

5 Euro party, that seems to be the done thing here.

Yeah. So did my friend. It was the official "rule" amongst the parents.

Until her daughter's party and every single card had at least 10euro. My friend was mortified as she had been dilligently following this rule all year.

the14thwarrior

Call me Al wrote: »

Yeah. So did my friend. It was the official "rule" amongst the parents.

Until her daughter's party and every single card had at least 10euro. My friend was mortified as she had been dilligently following this rule all year.

and so it begins.
it becomes a thing

ch750536

simongurnick wrote: »

I have twins just turned 9 and we are having a party for them at a local community centre. They want to invite the whole class so possibly 25 kids. I dont want 50 toys coming home or making people buy two presents. Whats a good way to put that in the invite without coming across as a dick?

Let's leave the planet in a good state for future generations please don't buy anything, if you wish, make a donation to the Woodland League, http://www.woodlandleague.org/donations/

Hoboo

xabi wrote: »

5 Euro party, that seems to be the done thing here.

It's €20 around here. Which is ridiculous. Think that's in a play centre but it's insane. I have friends with 2 and 3 kids and Saturday is literally a day of taxiing, plus cash flying out of the wallet.

Hoboo

ch750536 wrote: »

Let's leave the planet in a good state for future generations please don't buy anything, if you wish, make a donation to the Woodland League, http://www.woodlandleague.org/donations/

Cant see a charity number?

ch750536

Hoboo wrote: »

Cant see a charity number?

Just an example, insert own

Clareman

In my kids school they do a "Carta Cuig" where you just put a fiver in a card and that's it, it's brilliant as the house isn't full of rubbish and the child gets to go to the toy shop with all their fivers to get what they want.

TheBoyConor

When I was in school there was none of this invite half the school to your birthday carry on. When did all this start?

It really seems like the celtic tiger times are back . Massive organised parties for kids birthdays with big numbers attending and then truckloads of presents and hundreds of euros spent on it all. It all seems a bit excessive and unnecessary.

My nieces are destroyed from this craic. The house is literally under a layer of toys and presents. They don't even appreciate a Christmas gift anymore because they have so so much stuff. I was annoyed last xmas when I got one of them a present and they didn't even bother to remove the wrapping. Just tore off enough to see what it was, "oh, its a x" then casually dropped it and moved on to the next thing. Not so much as a thank you.

Debub

We have a 4 yr old and a 8 yr old. For the older one - we thought of doing a no presents one - but they just so love to open the gifts the next day - doesn't matter how crap or plasticky they are. The fivers/tenners are just kept to the side. The birthday gifts excite them and make them happy 0- the fivers dont, its just the other way for us the parents, but for now we are going with gifts... maybe try and explain the charity concept to them fro next year and see how that goes

ElizaBennett

On a side note, I never understand the point of parents taking the gifts and putting them all away to be opened later, depriving the giver of the fun of seeing their friend open what they've picked out specially. I always allowed total mayhem in the house around the present opening. It's all part of the fun surely?

jlm29

ElizaBennett wrote: »

On a side note, I never understand the point of parents taking the gifts and putting them all away to be opened later, depriving the giver of the fun of seeing their friend open what they've picked out specially. I always allowed total mayhem in the house around the present opening. It's all part of the fun surely?

Maybe in the house, but if you’re booked into a play centre for a two hour party, there’s little point in wasting 30 minutes of it watching the presents being opened, when there’s fun to be had. Also, most gifts in my sons class would be money or vouchers, so not much excitement in opening them

mirrorwall14

We never open them in front of people. We’ve had a family member literally cry because our son (at age three) didn’t give the appropriate response. People can be annoyed if the child doesn’t like something or doesn’t express it right

lazygal

TheBoyConor wrote: »

When I was in school there was none of this invite half the school to your birthday carry on. When did all this start?

It really seems like the celtic tiger times are back . Massive organised parties for kids birthdays with big numbers attending and then truckloads of presents and hundreds of euros spent on it all. It all seems a bit excessive and unnecessary.

My nieces are destroyed from this craic. The house is literally under a layer of toys and presents. They don't even appreciate a Christmas gift anymore because they have so so much stuff. I was annoyed last xmas when I got one of them a present and they didn't even bother to remove the wrapping. Just tore off enough to see what it was, "oh, its a x" then casually dropped it and moved on to the next thing. Not so much as a thank you.

Do you have kids?

lazygal

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

We never open them in front of people. We’ve had a family member literally cry because our son (at age three) didn’t give the appropriate response. People can be annoyed if the child doesn’t like something or doesn’t express it right

Same. Adults project a lot of emotional feelings into stuff children don't have any investment in and then get huffy when they don't get the "right" reaction.

jlm29

TheBoyConor wrote: »

When I was in school there was none of this invite half the school to your birthday carry on. When did all this start?

It really seems like the celtic tiger times are back . Massive organised parties for kids birthdays with big numbers attending and then truckloads of presents and hundreds of euros spent on it all. It all seems a bit excessive and unnecessary.

My nieces are destroyed from this craic. The house is literally under a layer of toys and presents. They don't even appreciate a Christmas gift anymore because they have so so much stuff. I was annoyed last xmas when I got one of them a present and they didn't even bother to remove the wrapping. Just tore off enough to see what it was, "oh, its a x" then casually dropped it and moved on to the next thing. Not so much as a thank you.

Nobody said anything about inviting half the school, but it’s hard to pick and choose without leaving some people feeling left out. It only happens for a couple of years anyhow, until they figure out who their closer friends are and can have them over to the house or go to the cinema or something.
The parties are often organised, in play centres or wherever because it’s easier- no mess, no parents to entertain and nobody forgetting to go home, or collect little Mary until all hours.

lazygal

It is 99% less stress for us to combine our kids birthdays with other children in the class who have birthdays around the same time and pool the costs of a play centre. And it means instead of 25 parties over a year we only shuttle to about six. Definitely prefer the way it seems to pan out in our school, including the fiver in a card which is always a fiver and not more.

shesty

ElizaBennett wrote: »

On a side note, I never understand the point of parents taking the gifts and putting them all away to be opened later, depriving the giver of the fun of seeing their friend open what they've picked out specially. I always allowed total mayhem in the house around the present opening. It's all part of the fun surely?

Maybe on older kids but not younger.Avoids the inevitable rows when they all want to play with the new stuff, the broken toys, the shouts of "oh I already have this" (yes I have experienced that), amd if in a playcentre, avoids lost toys aswell. i have no problem at all with present opening bring delayed.

Debub

ElizaBennett wrote: »

On a side note, I never understand the point of parents taking the gifts and putting them all away to be opened later, depriving the giver of the fun of seeing their friend open what they've picked out specially. I always allowed total mayhem in the house around the present opening. It's all part of the fun surely?

For us - they are having too much fun with the ongoing party at the time anyway, incoming kids just about manage to handover the gift and are rushing to the bouncy castle, all kids are different I think, ours enjoy sitting on the bed the next morning and opening them all one by one

MommaSarah

Even though I didn't like it, I let my first daughter get all the presents up until she was 5 or 6, because back then I felt like she'd see all the other kids getting presents at their parties, so she was expecting them, too. But it was all this plastic crap she played with for no longer than 5 minutes... Her room looked like a landfill... I started giving some of the toys away to the charity. Now she (hopefully) understands, she doesn't need to have all those new toys. For two years in a row we asked on the invites not to give presents and it's been only €10-€20 along with a birthday card ever since.

For my second child though (1 y.o.), I don't want any new presents... We kept only the toys that have an educational element to them and develop different skills (luckily, my parents adhered to my request and were buying my first daughter mostly wooden toys), so the baby already has plenty of toys to play with. The oceans are already full of plastic and it's sad to see how many parents put very little thought into what they are buying - 5 minute fads (often with batteries these days), which will end up in landfill soon.

As the Amazon forest was burning recently, I stumbled upon this quote “Only when the last tree has been cut down, the last fish been caught, and the last stream poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money.”

Hopefully, soon parents will start organising "tree planting parties" or something like this, which will defocus children from the need to possess heaps of useless stuff, helping them appreciate what the last few generations have been taking for granted.