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Why aren't people allowed to be angry about a person under a train?

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24

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    #32
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Some poor family is getting the worst possible news tonight and all the OP can do is moan

    I sincerely hope OP that one day its not your loved one being such a nuisance to the public because they died at an inconvenient time or place.


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    #33
    Mental Mickey
    Registered Users Posts: 10,636 ✭✭✭✭Mental Mickey


    Dontcha just luuuurve AH???


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    #34
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    Why do you think everyone else's problems are trivial?

    Because they are trivial in comparison to a tragic suicide. As bad as their days may have been, none of them will get a call to say their loved one struggled so much with life they jumped in front of a train today, thankfully.

    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    I might not get to see them ever again because they're terminally ill and I have no choice but to fly home tomorrow morning

    How selfish of her to inconvene you in that way.


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    #35
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    Did you even take a second to consider that no matter how awful your day was, there's was a million times sorry?

    Their friends? Their family?

    How do you not use the opportunity to thank your lucky stars for your mental health and resiliance & how much luckier in that regard? This is what most of us do.

    You clearly have no empathy and your family has not been visited by tradegy.

    Jesus, here's another one.

    I have been tremendously impacted by mental health issues. I've suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, lost a family member to suicide, so no, I don't feel particularly 'lucky'.

    I do feel for the person who jumped. I also feel for the thousands of others who were impacted, many of whom also have very hard lives and serious problems. Why do they not matter?


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    #36
    bingbong500
    Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭bingbong500


    So what would you have preferred happen? Who are you angry at?


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    #37
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,832 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Wow, there's a lot of faux sympathy on this thread. I'm sure ye are all gutted that someone you don't know or would likely never have met has died. How do ye watch the news? Ye must be so messed up over all the deaths that happen every day... 6300+ people die every hour. How do ye find the time to feel for all of them?!


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    #38
    FrancieBrady
    Registered Users Posts: 67,050 ✭✭✭✭FrancieBrady


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    Jesus, here's another one.

    I have been tremendously impacted by mental health issues. I've suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, lost a family member to suicide, so no, I don't feel particularly 'lucky'.

    I do feel for the person who jumped. I also feel for the thousands of others who were impacted, many of whom also have very hard lives and serious problems. Why do they not matter?

    We all have problems, we haven't all lost our empathy, respect and basic tolerance.


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    #39
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    Jesus, here's another one.

    I have been tremendously impacted by mental health issues. I've suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, lost a family member to suicide, so no, I don't feel particularly 'lucky'.

    I do feel for the person who jumped. I also feel for the thousands of others who were impacted, many of whom also have very hard lives and serious problems. Why do they not matter?

    They do matter and its possible to have sympathy for anyone who was negatively affected by the accident but feeling angry? You have no right to feel angry on behalf of the other passengers, that's for them.


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    #40
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    FTA69 wrote: »
    You’re allowed to be p*ssed off at missing your friend and the rest.

    But you should also be understanding of the poor soul who felt pushed to give themselves a horrible death and the train driver who witnessed it.

    It’s not one or the other. Have compassion.

    I do have compassion. I think it's terribly sad for the person and anyone who witnessed it.

    The difference is, I don't think people are wrong to be upset about the effect it had on them. It wasn't just people a bit late for dinner or missing Eastenders, the way people on Twitter like to pretend it is. Some people were very seriously affected.


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    #41
    FrancieBrady
    Registered Users Posts: 67,050 ✭✭✭✭FrancieBrady


    Potential-Monke wrote: »
    Wow, there's a lot of faux sympathy on this thread. I'm sure ye are all gutted that someone you don't know or would likely never have met has died. How do ye watch the news? Ye must be so messed up over all the deaths that happen every day... 6300+ people die every hour. How do ye find the time to feel for all of them?!

    They are not all a few feet away from me with staff trying to sort out an awful traumatic mess, while I'm bitching about the inconvenience and composing a post on Boards.ie about it.


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    #42
    Del.Monte
    Registered Users Posts: 12,363 ✭✭✭✭Del.Monte


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    Deplorable, indeed. How terribly selfish of me to be one of the few passengers looking out for the people in wheelchairs, trying to protect them from being trampled and jostled, and trying to find someone with better local knowledge help an elderly lady find her way home while she was sobbing her heart out about missing her hospital appointment.

    Sorry for giving a f*ck about all the other people who were seriously impacted this evening. You're obviously such a great person and think none of them matter because one person died.

    Slow clap.

    digging-hole-on-white-background-260nw-205751260.jpg

    ****



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    #43
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users Posts: 16,086 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    Deplorable, indeed. How terribly selfish of me to be one of the few passengers looking out for the people in wheelchairs, trying to protect them from being trampled and jostled, and trying to find someone with better local knowledge help an elderly lady find her way home while she was sobbing her heart out about missing her hospital appointment.

    Sorry for giving a f*ck about all the other people who were seriously impacted this evening. You're obviously such a great person and think none of them matter because one person died.

    Slow clap.


    My son witnessed a young lady jump off a motorway bridge in front of his car . He was deeply traumatised and he missed an important meeting
    He came home and cried for hours , not for himself but for a young lady who felt compelled to do that and for her mother and father and family who were going to hear the news . Thankfully he is that kind of man who thinks beyond himself and can empathise with a family facing that pain


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    #44
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    bingbong500 wrote: »
    So what would you have preferred happen? Who are you angry at?

    I'm not blaming the train company - they had little choice. I'd prefer if those who are upset and emotional weren't shamed for feeling that way.


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    #45
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    My son witnessed a young lady jump off a motorway bridge in front of his car . He was deeply traumatised and he missed an important meeting
    He came home and cried for hours , not for himself but for a young lady who felt compelled to do that and for her mother and father and family who were going to hear the news . Thankfully he is that kind of man who thinks beyond himself and can empathise with a family facing that pain

    And how would he have felt if he'd been rushing to see a dying family member for the last time? Someone he loved and would never see again? You're telling me he wouldn't have had the slightest pang of bitterness?

    Sure.


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    #46
    ratracer
    Registered Users Posts: 3,207 ✭✭✭ratracer


    If the train was stopped at the station with the doors open, why didn’t you just get off and use an alternative means of transport?


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    #47
    killbillvol2
    Registered Users Posts: 5,178 ✭✭✭killbillvol2


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    I'm not blaming the train company - they had little choice. I'd prefer if those who are upset and emotional weren't shamed for feeling that way.

    I'm suspecting that you didn't get much sympathy for your position on the train and came here to vent instead.


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    #48
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users Posts: 16,086 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    And how would he have felt if he'd been rushing to see a dying family member for the last time? Someone he loved and would never see again? You're telling me he wouldn't have had the slightest pang of bitterness?

    Sure.

    Thank goodness he is that kind of man as I said .


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    #49
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,832 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    FrancieBrady wrote: »
    They are not all a few feet away from me with staff trying to sort out an awful traumatic mess, while I'm bitching about the inconvenience and composing a post on Boards.ie about it.

    I'm being honest here, it could happen in front of me and once I was over the initial shock of what happened, I'll move on. I'm not taking anything away from this, that person obviously had reasons and thought this was the only way out, but it doesn't mean that I should automatically stop and think and try and figure out why someone would do this. Likewise, I can feel for the family and friends of this person, but that's about it. I'm not going to pretend it's affected me deeply, I'm not going to pretend to have faux-empathy for people I don't know.

    If we all thought like this all the time, we'd never get out of the house.


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    #50
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    retro:electro wrote: »
    Because they are trivial in comparison to a tragic suicide. As bad as their days may have been, none of them will get a call to say their loved one struggled so much with life they jumped in front of a train today, thankfully.




    How selfish of her to inconvene you in that way.

    I love the irony of you telling me I should feel deeply upset about this stranger's family because the stranger died and then making a vile, sarcastic comment like that about me never seeing a close friend again before they die.

    Like....could you be any less self aware?


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    #51
    Will I Am Not
    Registered Users Posts: 3,495 ✭✭✭Will I Am Not


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    Did you even take a second to consider that no matter how awful your day was, there's was a million times worse?

    Any compasion for their friends? their family?

    How do you not use the opportunity to thank your lucky stars for your mental health and resiliance & how much luckier you are in that regard? This is what most of us do.

    You clearly have no empathy and your family has not been visited by tradegy.

    What if it was some scumbag that groomed kids and got caught by one of those hunter groups and decided to throw themselves under a train? Did you ever take a second to consider that? Are you allowed to be angry then?


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    #52
    killbillvol2
    Registered Users Posts: 5,178 ✭✭✭killbillvol2


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    .could you be any less self aware?

    The irony


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    #53
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    killbillvol2 wrote: »
    I'm suspecting that you didn't get much sympathy for your position on the train and came here to vent instead.

    I was busy helping people as much as I could on the train. I wasn't feeling great myself in the heat, with a chronic illness and not knowing where I was going. I read this on Twitter.

    But sure, keep virtue signalling there. Make sure everyone sees how wonderful you are from behind your keyboard.


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    #54
    volchitsa
    Registered Users Posts: 7,022 ✭✭✭volchitsa


    This probably going to be unpopular here, but while I agree that suicide is terrible, I also think the method people use is not completely random, and someone who jumps in front of a train rather than take sleeping tablets or whatever in the privacy of their own home is sending a message of some sort.

    To take it much further again (and I'm not saying it's the same thing, but the thinking is related all the same) the pilot of the German plane who killed all his passengers along with him was committing suicide. But he wasn't satisfied with dying alone, why did he need other people to die too? I think it's because he wanted other people to suffer too, so it's not unfair to call that selfish.

    I think that someone who jumps in front of a train is possibly doing a minor version of that - they know the train driver will likely be traumatised and possibly other passengers too, and perhaps that's what the person wants: for other people to suffer consequences from their death.

    Just a thought. Maybe I'm wrong, but I do think there's an element of selfishness and even of wanting to punish other people in some suicides.


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    #55
    FrancieBrady
    Registered Users Posts: 67,050 ✭✭✭✭FrancieBrady


    Potential-Monke wrote: »
    I'm being honest here, it could happen in front of me and once I was over the initial shock of what happened, I'll move on. I'm not taking anything away from this, that person obviously had reasons and thought this was the only way out, but it doesn't mean that I should automatically stop and think and try and figure out why someone would do this. Likewise, I can feel for the family and friends of this person, but that's about it. I'm not going to pretend it's affected me deeply, I'm not going to pretend to have faux-empathy for people I don't know.

    If we all thought like this all the time, we'd never get out of the house.

    Why would you expect anyone to give a **** about you then?

    In cold simple terms, you cannot plan for something like this in an underground system. If the train stops and cannot continue, you are going to be inconvenienced. Everybody will do their best to cope with it and get things moving again. You should know things like this before 'leaving the house'. It's called dealing with life and what it throws at you.


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    #56
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    Will I Am Not wrote: »
    What if it was some scumbag that groomed kids and got caught by one of those hunter groups and decided to throw themselves under a train? Did you ever take a second to consider that? Are you allowed to be angry then?

    No, you are never allowed to be angry. It's totally irrelevant if other innocent people were injured or died as a result, or will be left traumatised after witnessing it, or missed a vital hospital appointment, or a funeral or their baby's birth. They're not allowed to be upset about the chaos, they have to say how lucky they are to be alive. No other sentiment allowed.


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    #57
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,687 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    lainey_d_123 wrote: »
    No, you are never allowed to be angry. It's totally irrelevant if other innocent people were injured or died as a result, or will be left traumatised after witnessing it, or missed a vital hospital appointment, or a funeral or their baby's birth. They're not allowed to be upset about the chaos, they have to say how lucky they are to be alive. No other sentiment allowed.

    Nobody died or was injured though.

    Get over yourself


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    #58
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    I'm with op on this. The person who committed suicide could pick something that wouldn't affect that many people. I understand that they were probably not thinking clearly but it doesn't mean it didn't inconvenience passengers significantly, distressed the driver and so on.

    And what about when someone decides to commit suicide driving the wrong way on the motorway. Or in case of a girl I knew when an ex called her that he is jumping of the bridge if she doesn't get back with him. She said no and he jumped. Or a man who managed to terrorize his family, beat wife and kids. Both kids committed suicide and so did he by jumping in front of a train. I have huge sympathy for the wife, some sympathy for the kids and none for him. People committing suicide are not by default above criticism just because they killed themselves.


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    #59
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Some poor family is getting the worst possible news tonight and all the OP can do is moan

    I sincerely hope OP that one day its not your loved one being such a nuisance to the public because they died at an inconvenient time or place.

    I love how you assume it hasn't happened.

    It's really enlightening to see what little capacity for logical evaluation the average person seems to have. What black and white little minds.

    A very, very loved family member of mine was killed in a car accident not that long ago. It was devastating. I'm sure people were caught up in the tailbacks and some of them had disasters of their own because of it. I'm sure they were cursing and ranting and thinking of their own problems, and what of it? It doesn't mean they didn't care or that they were callous, it means that one tragedy doesn't just cancel out everyone else's very real issues.


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    #60
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users Posts: 18,172 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    Ha, I thought I recognised the OP, one of those self obsessed types that always leaves your eyes rolling after reading a thread. Turns out it is indeed the same person that once prompted me to write:
    bucketybuck wrote: »
    I'm starting to wonder if you have ever written a post that doesn't include the words "I" or "me"...
    Absolutely no surprise then that her first thought on hearing that somebody could have died was "This isn't fair, what about me me me".

    Don't fall for all that crap about sickly grandmothers and wheelchairs rusting, thats just window dressing for the real victim of the piece, miss drama herself.
    Like....could you be any less self aware?
    Jesus, thats classic!


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    #61
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,832 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    FrancieBrady wrote: »
    Why would you expect anyone to give a **** about you then?

    In cold simple terms, you cannot plan for something like this in an underground system. If the train stops and cannot continue, you are going to be inconvenienced. Everybody will do their best to cope with it and get things moving again. You should know things like this before 'leaving the house'. It's called dealing with life and what it throws at you.

    I don't expect anyone to get upset over me being dead, especially not some random people posting under random usernames on 1 of probably a bazillion forums on the internet. But I know my family and friends would probably get upset, just like I would be upset if it was someone I personally knew.

    I don't know this person. I don't know their circumstances. As someone mentioned above, we don't know why they did this. Depression? Maybe. Crazy thoughts? Possibly. But as someone else mentioned above, what if they were a sexual predator who got caught? What if they had done something there was no coming back from? We don't know the details, so I'll save my empathy for clear cases that actually affect me, and not pretend to care about a random person. That doesn't show a lack of empathy, more a realistic view on life imo. Each to their own and all that.

    I'm also of the opinion that people need to earn empathy. I won't feel any empathy for someone who gets killed because of gangland involvement. I won't feel empathy for Trump when he dies, likewise most politicians in general. But going by nearly everyone on this thread I should feel it for everyone, regardless of circumstances.


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