Why aren't people allowed to be angry about a person under a train?

lainey_d_123

Just had a hellish few hours trapped underground in London because of major disruption caused by a suicide on the track. I had a panic attack due to the overcrowding (the driver kept the doors open for ages at one station and more and more people got on and nobody could get out) and almost passed out. A woman on my carriage did faint due to the heat and the crowds. There were multiple crying babies/children. We were eventually told to get off the train and this caused enormous problems for two disabled passengers, who had to rely on other passengers to help them get off. They were hugely distressed and I have no idea how they managed to get out of a station with no disabled access.

I checked Twitter to see what was going on and it seemed that someone jumped under a train. This is a terrible thing to happen (assuming it was a suicide) and obviously very sad that they saw no other way out. But the people who were rightfully very upset and angry about the huge amount of disruption were being shamed by people saying things like 'have some empathy' and 'at least you'll be going home eventually'.

I actually find this annoying and totally disagree. It's not as if everyone who wasn't the unfortunate person under the train is having some kind of amazing, rosy life. These were normal people, many of whom undoubtedly had their own major problems. On the train I was stuck on, there was a woman in tears who was missing her son's performance in a play, someone else in tears because they were going to miss a hospital appointment they'd waited months for, a family who were probably going to miss a flight, a few people who were going to be very late for work and just about everyone else had their evening plans ruined and were forced to find a way home in the heat and discomfort. I myself wasn't able to meet up with a dear friend who was one of the main reasons for my visit to London. So what if they weren't all just thinking of the person under the train? That person wasn't thinking of any of them. Does it not go both ways? Lots of people who have a horrible/hard life just had it made even worse this evening. I don't think it's unacceptable for people to complain and vent.

What do you think?

Timberrrrrrrr

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Just had a hellish few hours trapped underground in London because of major disruption caused by a suicide on the track. I had a panic attack due to the overcrowding (the driver kept the doors open for ages at one station and more and more people got on and nobody could get out) and almost passed out. A woman on my carriage did faint due to the heat and the crowds. There were multiple crying babies/children. We were eventually told to get off the train and this caused enormous problems for two disabled passengers, who had to rely on other passengers to help them get off. They were hugely distressed and I have no idea how they managed to get out of a station with no disabled access.

I checked Twitter to see what was going on and it seemed that someone jumped under a train. This is a terrible thing to happen (assuming it was a suicide) and obviously very sad that they saw no other way out. But the people who were rightfully very upset and angry about the huge amount of disruption were being shamed by people saying things like 'have some empathy' and 'at least you'll be going home eventually'.

I actually find this annoying and totally disagree. It's not as if everyone who wasn't the unfortunate person under the train is having some kind of amazing, rosy life. These were normal people, many of whom undoubtedly had their own major problems. On the train I was stuck on, there was a woman in tears who was missing her son's performance in a play, someone else in tears because they were going to miss a hospital appointment they'd waited months for, a family who were probably going to miss a flight, a few people who were going to be very late for work and just about everyone else had their evening plans ruined and were forced to find a way home in the heat and discomfort. I myself wasn't able to meet up with a dear friend who was one of the main reasons for my visit to London. So what if they weren't all just thinking of the person under the train? That person wasn't thinking of any of them. Does it not go both ways? Lots of people who have a horrible/hard life just had it made even worse this evening. I don't think it's unacceptable for people to complain and vent.

What do you think?

Yet you were all alive and healthy!

Honestly one of the most self centered posts i have ever read in.my years on here :mad:

FrancieBrady

Say over and over again:

(Insert deity of choice) grant me the serenity. To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.

ceadaoin.

I suppose I'd just be glad not to be getting the news that a friend or relative was the person under the train. Missing a child's play seems fairly trivial in comparison

lawred2

This will go well

amcalester

It’s the driver I have more pity for, Ive seen the aftermath of a train hitting someone and can’t imagine being the train driver and witnessing that.

swarlb

Hard to say really... we don't have an underground system here.... so we obviously wouldn't have an as inconvenienced !!
Poor fecker all the same... it takes an awful lot to push someone to that point... RIP.

o1s1n

Sorry to hear you missed your appointment with your friend. I hope the parents of the person under the train ring you to apologise.

ednwireland

me me me me it really is the new reality.

killbillvol2

Eh, get over yourself?

James Brown

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

...I don't think it's unacceptable for people to complain and vent.

What do you think?

I think it's unacceptable for people to complain and vent.
Air your grievances to the next of kin, see how you go.

lainey_d_123

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Yet you were all alive and healthy!

Honestly one of the most self centered posts i have ever read in.my years on here :mad:

Who was healthy? The woman who was missing her hospital appointment? Myself, who nearly passed out because of a serious medical condition? The people in wheelchairs who nearly got trampled and were probably stuck there for ages because the station had no lift?

Another virtue signaller who seems to forget that plenty of people have problems, not just those who jump under trains. Which was the point of my post, which you missed.

I wonder if it was your elderly mother who was sobbing, alone, terrified about missing her appointment and not being able to get another one, if you'd declare that everyone should just be happy to be alive. What if that woman dies because whatever is wrong didn't get picked up because of someone's action?

Point is - it's not that simple.

cursai

Do you get angry with your car when it brakes down and ruins your plans?

FrancieBrady

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Who was healthy? The woman who was missing her hospital appointment? Myself, who nearly passed out because of a serious medical condition? The people in wheelchairs who nearly got trampled and were probably stuck there for ages because the station had no lift?

Another virtue signaller who seems to forget that plenty of people have problems, not just those who jump under trains. Which was the point of my post, which you missed.

I wonder if it was your elderly mother who was sobbing, alone, terrified about missing her appointment and not being able to get another one, if you'd declare that everyone should just be happy to be alive. What if that woman dies because whatever is wrong didn't get picked up because of someone's action?

Point is - it's not that simple.

Ok, outline what you would like to see happen in future.

lainey_d_123

o1s1n wrote: »

Sorry to hear you missed your appointment with your friend. I hope the parents of the person under the train ring you to apologise.

I might not get to see them ever again because they're terminally ill and I have no choice but to fly home tomorrow morning but that pales in comparison to the other people on the train who were facing worse problems. I really felt for the elderly woman who was travelling alone and missed her hospital appointment. I hope some kind stranger was able to help her get home safely and that the hospital will be understanding and let her rebook soon.

Timberrrrrrrr

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Who was healthy? The woman who was missing her hospital appointment? Myself, who nearly passed out because of a serious medical condition? The people in wheelchairs who nearly got trampled and were probably stuck there for ages because the station had no lift?

Another virtue signaller who seems to forget that plenty of people have problems, not just those who jump under trains. Which was the point of my post, which you missed.

I wonder if it was your elderly mother who was sobbing, alone, terrified about missing her appointment and not being able to get another one, if you'd declare that everyone should just be happy to be alive. What if that woman dies because whatever is wrong didn't get picked up because of someone's action?

Point is - it's not that simple.

Someone DIED!!! Cop the fùck on!

Potential-Monke

Everyone jumping on the bandwagon of 'me, me, me' and calling out the OP for not having empathy. I can see the OP's point. Horrible thing to happen, and I'm sure there was a reason for them doing it, etc. But I can also see the annoyance and disruption it can cause. Nobody can say what that person was thinking when they did it, but I also think it's completely perfectly ok to be upset over the disturbance it has caused.

Not everyone has to feel for everyone else.

Still waters

They should keep it running, mash them into the rails

Del.Monte

In my mind it is a very selfish act to involve other people in ending one's life, but that is looking at the situation in a very clinical way and easy to say from the safety of the keyboard. Who can tell what goes through somebody's mind before they do such a thing but one thing for certain is that others can be deeply traumatised by the event - not least of which are the unfortunate train driver and others who are involved in the clean-up.

SEPT 23 1989

The future is a terrifying prospect if this attitude becomes the majority

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I despair and worry where this generation is capable of taking us.

A deplorable attitude.

Thrashssacre

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

The future is a terrifying prospect if this attitude becomes the majority

It is in parts I believe in Japan If you commit suicide infront of a train and delay the other passengers in the process you’re family gets a fairly hefty fine.

lainey_d_123

ceadaoin. wrote: »

I suppose I'd just be glad not to be getting the news that a friend or relative was the person under the train. Missing a child's play seems fairly trivial in comparison

Still very upsetting. I don't think missing an important hospital appointment is trivial. There will have been people heading to the airport to go to funerals, trying to get to a loved one's bedside, all sorts of things. There will have been people who desperately needed the money who didn't get paid today because they missed their shift. There were thousands of people caught up in this.

Why do people like you seem to forget about all the other people who were impacted and suffered? Why do you think everyone else's problems are trivial?

killbillvol2

Del.Monte wrote: »

In my mind it is a very selfish act to involve other people in ending one's life, but that is looking at the situation in a very clinical way and easy to say from the safety of the keyboard. Who can tell what goes through somebody's mind before they do such a thing but one thing for certain is that others can be deeply traumatised by the event - not least of which are the unfortunate train driver and others who are involved in the clean-up.

The OP has no idea if the person ended his/her life. It could have been an accident or worse.

The pretend sympathy for other passengers is pretty see through - there's only one victim in this to their mind, themselves.

o1s1n

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I might not get to see them ever again because they're terminally ill and I have no choice but to fly home tomorrow morning but that pales in comparison to the other people on the train who were facing worse problems. I really felt for the elderly woman who was travelling alone and missed her hospital appointment. I hope some kind stranger was able to help her get home safely and that the hospital will be understanding and let her rebook soon.

They're all terrible things and you can be upset.

But you were literally standing on a train while someone lived their last moments, potentially in agony, without anyone they knew around them.

How you can then say 'but what about OUR inconvenience' in such a moment is astounding.

Rubberchikken

i dont think this post is self centered.
suicide is tough. but theres an element of selfishness that doesnt enter the persons head when theyve decided to die.

yes their actions have a knock on effect.
on the people who are just lucky enough to want to get on with their lives. with the suicides family and with a train driver who must be in shock.

its crap all round

FrancieBrady

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I might not get to see them ever again because they're terminally ill and I have no choice but to fly home tomorrow morning but that pales in comparison to the other people on the train who were facing worse problems. I really felt for the elderly woman who was travelling alone and missed her hospital appointment. I hope some kind stranger was able to help her get home safely and that the hospital will be understanding and let her rebook soon.

Was it the train to Lourdes or something?

FTA69

You’re allowed to be p*ssed off at missing your friend and the rest.

But you should also be understanding of the poor soul who felt pushed to give themselves a horrible death and the train driver who witnessed it.

It’s not one or the other. Have compassion.

cannotlogin

Did you even take a second to consider that no matter how awful your day was, there's was a million times worse?

Any compasion for their friends? their family?

How do you not use the opportunity to thank your lucky stars for your mental health and resiliance & how much luckier you are in that regard? This is what most of us do.

You clearly have no empathy and your family has not been visited by tradegy.

lainey_d_123

Rory Salty Sheriff wrote: »

I despair and worry where this generation is capable of taking us.

A deplorable attitude.

Deplorable, indeed. How terribly selfish of me to be one of the few passengers looking out for the people in wheelchairs, trying to protect them from being trampled and jostled, and trying to find someone with better local knowledge help an elderly lady find her way home while she was sobbing her heart out about missing her hospital appointment.

Sorry for giving a f*ck about all the other people who were seriously impacted this evening. You're obviously such a great person and think none of them matter because one person died.

Slow clap.

soiseztomabel

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Just had a hellish few hours trapped underground in London because of major disruption caused by a suicide on the track. I had a panic attack due to the overcrowding (the driver kept the doors open for ages at one station and more and more people got on and nobody could get out) and almost passed out. A woman on my carriage did faint due to the heat and the crowds. There were multiple crying babies/children. We were eventually told to get off the train and this caused enormous problems for two disabled passengers, who had to rely on other passengers to help them get off. They were hugely distressed and I have no idea how they managed to get out of a station with no disabled access.

I checked Twitter to see what was going on and it seemed that someone jumped under a train. This is a terrible thing to happen (assuming it was a suicide) and obviously very sad that they saw no other way out. But the people who were rightfully very upset and angry about the huge amount of disruption were being shamed by people saying things like 'have some empathy' and 'at least you'll be going home eventually'.

I actually find this annoying and totally disagree. It's not as if everyone who wasn't the unfortunate person under the train is having some kind of amazing, rosy life. These were normal people, many of whom undoubtedly had their own major problems. On the train I was stuck on, there was a woman in tears who was missing her son's performance in a play, someone else in tears because they were going to miss a hospital appointment they'd waited months for, a family who were probably going to miss a flight, a few people who were going to be very late for work and just about everyone else had their evening plans ruined and were forced to find a way home in the heat and discomfort. I myself wasn't able to meet up with a dear friend who was one of the main reasons for my visit to London. So what if they weren't all just thinking of the person under the train? That person wasn't thinking of any of them. Does it not go both ways? Lots of people who have a horrible/hard life just had it made even worse this evening. I don't think it's unacceptable for people to complain and vent.

What do you think?

Revisit this thread if one of your loved ones dies and clogs up traffic so we can all tell you how much of a absolute cnut you sound.

eviltwin

Some poor family is getting the worst possible news tonight and all the OP can do is moan

I sincerely hope OP that one day its not your loved one being such a nuisance to the public because they died at an inconvenient time or place.

Mental Mickey

Dontcha just luuuurve AH???

retro:electro

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Why do you think everyone else's problems are trivial?

Because they are trivial in comparison to a tragic suicide. As bad as their days may have been, none of them will get a call to say their loved one struggled so much with life they jumped in front of a train today, thankfully.

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I might not get to see them ever again because they're terminally ill and I have no choice but to fly home tomorrow morning

How selfish of her to inconvene you in that way.

lainey_d_123

cannotlogin wrote: »

Did you even take a second to consider that no matter how awful your day was, there's was a million times sorry?

Their friends? Their family?

How do you not use the opportunity to thank your lucky stars for your mental health and resiliance & how much luckier in that regard? This is what most of us do.

You clearly have no empathy and your family has not been visited by tradegy.

Jesus, here's another one.

I have been tremendously impacted by mental health issues. I've suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, lost a family member to suicide, so no, I don't feel particularly 'lucky'.

I do feel for the person who jumped. I also feel for the thousands of others who were impacted, many of whom also have very hard lives and serious problems. Why do they not matter?

bingbong500

So what would you have preferred happen? Who are you angry at?

Potential-Monke

Wow, there's a lot of faux sympathy on this thread. I'm sure ye are all gutted that someone you don't know or would likely never have met has died. How do ye watch the news? Ye must be so messed up over all the deaths that happen every day... 6300+ people die every hour. How do ye find the time to feel for all of them?!

FrancieBrady

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Jesus, here's another one.

I have been tremendously impacted by mental health issues. I've suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, lost a family member to suicide, so no, I don't feel particularly 'lucky'.

I do feel for the person who jumped. I also feel for the thousands of others who were impacted, many of whom also have very hard lives and serious problems. Why do they not matter?

We all have problems, we haven't all lost our empathy, respect and basic tolerance.

eviltwin

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Jesus, here's another one.

I have been tremendously impacted by mental health issues. I've suffered from depression and anxiety all my life, lost a family member to suicide, so no, I don't feel particularly 'lucky'.

I do feel for the person who jumped. I also feel for the thousands of others who were impacted, many of whom also have very hard lives and serious problems. Why do they not matter?

They do matter and its possible to have sympathy for anyone who was negatively affected by the accident but feeling angry? You have no right to feel angry on behalf of the other passengers, that's for them.

lainey_d_123

FTA69 wrote: »

You’re allowed to be p*ssed off at missing your friend and the rest.

But you should also be understanding of the poor soul who felt pushed to give themselves a horrible death and the train driver who witnessed it.

It’s not one or the other. Have compassion.

I do have compassion. I think it's terribly sad for the person and anyone who witnessed it.

The difference is, I don't think people are wrong to be upset about the effect it had on them. It wasn't just people a bit late for dinner or missing Eastenders, the way people on Twitter like to pretend it is. Some people were very seriously affected.

FrancieBrady

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Wow, there's a lot of faux sympathy on this thread. I'm sure ye are all gutted that someone you don't know or would likely never have met has died. How do ye watch the news? Ye must be so messed up over all the deaths that happen every day... 6300+ people die every hour. How do ye find the time to feel for all of them?!

They are not all a few feet away from me with staff trying to sort out an awful traumatic mess, while I'm bitching about the inconvenience and composing a post on Boards.ie about it.

Del.Monte

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Deplorable, indeed. How terribly selfish of me to be one of the few passengers looking out for the people in wheelchairs, trying to protect them from being trampled and jostled, and trying to find someone with better local knowledge help an elderly lady find her way home while she was sobbing her heart out about missing her hospital appointment.

Sorry for giving a f*ck about all the other people who were seriously impacted this evening. You're obviously such a great person and think none of them matter because one person died.

Slow clap.

iamwhoiam

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Deplorable, indeed. How terribly selfish of me to be one of the few passengers looking out for the people in wheelchairs, trying to protect them from being trampled and jostled, and trying to find someone with better local knowledge help an elderly lady find her way home while she was sobbing her heart out about missing her hospital appointment.

Sorry for giving a f*ck about all the other people who were seriously impacted this evening. You're obviously such a great person and think none of them matter because one person died.

Slow clap.

My son witnessed a young lady jump off a motorway bridge in front of his car . He was deeply traumatised and he missed an important meeting
He came home and cried for hours , not for himself but for a young lady who felt compelled to do that and for her mother and father and family who were going to hear the news . Thankfully he is that kind of man who thinks beyond himself and can empathise with a family facing that pain

lainey_d_123

bingbong500 wrote: »

So what would you have preferred happen? Who are you angry at?

I'm not blaming the train company - they had little choice. I'd prefer if those who are upset and emotional weren't shamed for feeling that way.

lainey_d_123

iamwhoiam wrote: »

My son witnessed a young lady jump off a motorway bridge in front of his car . He was deeply traumatised and he missed an important meeting
He came home and cried for hours , not for himself but for a young lady who felt compelled to do that and for her mother and father and family who were going to hear the news . Thankfully he is that kind of man who thinks beyond himself and can empathise with a family facing that pain

And how would he have felt if he'd been rushing to see a dying family member for the last time? Someone he loved and would never see again? You're telling me he wouldn't have had the slightest pang of bitterness?

Sure.

ratracer

If the train was stopped at the station with the doors open, why didn’t you just get off and use an alternative means of transport?

killbillvol2

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I'm not blaming the train company - they had little choice. I'd prefer if those who are upset and emotional weren't shamed for feeling that way.

I'm suspecting that you didn't get much sympathy for your position on the train and came here to vent instead.

iamwhoiam

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

And how would he have felt if he'd been rushing to see a dying family member for the last time? Someone he loved and would never see again? You're telling me he wouldn't have had the slightest pang of bitterness?

Sure.

Thank goodness he is that kind of man as I said .

Potential-Monke

FrancieBrady wrote: »

They are not all a few feet away from me with staff trying to sort out an awful traumatic mess, while I'm bitching about the inconvenience and composing a post on Boards.ie about it.

I'm being honest here, it could happen in front of me and once I was over the initial shock of what happened, I'll move on. I'm not taking anything away from this, that person obviously had reasons and thought this was the only way out, but it doesn't mean that I should automatically stop and think and try and figure out why someone would do this. Likewise, I can feel for the family and friends of this person, but that's about it. I'm not going to pretend it's affected me deeply, I'm not going to pretend to have faux-empathy for people I don't know.

If we all thought like this all the time, we'd never get out of the house.

lainey_d_123

retro:electro wrote: »

Because they are trivial in comparison to a tragic suicide. As bad as their days may have been, none of them will get a call to say their loved one struggled so much with life they jumped in front of a train today, thankfully.




How selfish of her to inconvene you in that way.

I love the irony of you telling me I should feel deeply upset about this stranger's family because the stranger died and then making a vile, sarcastic comment like that about me never seeing a close friend again before they die.

Like....could you be any less self aware?

Will I Am Not

cannotlogin wrote: »

Did you even take a second to consider that no matter how awful your day was, there's was a million times worse?

Any compasion for their friends? their family?

How do you not use the opportunity to thank your lucky stars for your mental health and resiliance & how much luckier you are in that regard? This is what most of us do.

You clearly have no empathy and your family has not been visited by tradegy.

What if it was some scumbag that groomed kids and got caught by one of those hunter groups and decided to throw themselves under a train? Did you ever take a second to consider that? Are you allowed to be angry then?