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The PHANTOM PISSER !!!!

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  • 14-06-2018 9:19am
    #1
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭


    We have a phantom pisser in our workplace, he leaves the toilet with piss all over the floor and on the toilet seat
    it's f*cking DISGUSTING!

    We have worked out who he is.
    He used to work only in afternoons - in the mornings all the toilets were spotless.

    Then he took holidays - for the 2 weeks he was gone - not one drop of piss on the floor.

    And since then when he has been off for a day or two - no issues.

    People have complained to HR and the men have received a general email asking whoever it is to
    cop on - and it works for a while, then the piss starts appearing again.

    The other day there was a bit of shyte on the toilet seat.

    Really pisses me off that we all are collectively blamed when it's easy to work out who it is - a
    few of us have - I'm sure more have too.

    But of course , unless you are 100% sure with evidence you can't exactly confront the guy - or can you ?

    Anyone ever been in a similar situation ? is there a good way to approach him without causing an issue ?

    I think he may be on "the spectrum" too , so maybe that will give him a pass - there is a bang of BO of him
    and other colleagues excuse it as apparently he is a "genius" and important to the workplace ....

    Getting to the stage where I'm timing my WC visitis to coincide with a morning coffee in the cafe on the street
    below....


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Comments

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    #2
    testicles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,198 ✭✭✭testicles


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3
    ELM327
    Registered Users Posts: 21,433 ✭✭✭✭ELM327


    As someone who is both on the spectrum and working in an office I can assure you that being on the spectrum has nothing to do with poor hygiene or toilet etiquette. If anything I am more likely to follow the rules not less.

    We have two "disgusting cretins" in my office, colloqiually known as "flakey" and "mr brownfinger".
    Flakey is someone who spends most of his day picking his nose or other holes and eating it, mr brownfinger spends his time "painting" the inside walls of cubicles.


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    #4
    kneemos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,409 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    DNA test obviously.


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    #5
    Zebra3
    Registered Users Posts: 13,852 ✭✭✭✭Zebra3


    Probably some young one.


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    #6
    ELM327
    Registered Users Posts: 21,433 ✭✭✭✭ELM327


    Zebra3 wrote: »
    Probably some young one.
    Is she hot?
    In which case, all is not only forgiven but quite frankly encouraged.


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    #7
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    testicles wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    haha!!
    Thats the only other explanation for how it might not be him, if someone is purposefully NOT doing it while he is away.


    Doubt it though


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    #8
    K.Flyer
    Registered Users Posts: 8,565 ✭✭✭K.Flyer


    Keep complaining to HR and get them to look into having urinal(s) fitted if there are none already there.
    Get notices laminated and stick them up in the cubicles.
    That type of inconsideration is disgusting.


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    #9
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Sounds like the phantom ****ter that use to get the bus back in the day. He would lift the rear seats upstairs and open a panel and let loose.

    Try and figure out his bowel movements and leave piss and **** on each seat so he will have no choice to clean before he goes.


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    #10
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    K.Flyer wrote: »
    Keep complaining to HR and get them to look into having urinal(s) fitted if there are none already there.
    Get notices laminated and stick them up in the cubicles.
    That type of inconsideration is disgusting.

    We have laminated notices hung above the toilets.

    Again, worked for a while ... I think something more direct is needed, like an anonymous email.

    No aggression or anything, but I think when he knows he is found out it should stop.

    We have clients today visiting the office and HR sent an email out to all men pleading to keep the WC clean - how embarrassing :mad:


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    #11
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users Posts: 12,216 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    Plant explosives in the bathroom. When he goes into the cubicle. Use remote detonation.

    Fcuk Putin. Glory to Ukraine!



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    #12
    facehugger99
    Registered Users Posts: 7,225 ✭✭✭facehugger99


    Some people are fcuking animals and almost every office has someone who pisses all over the toilet seat.

    I worked in an office (white collar, degree educated) where someone took a **** in the shower. Emails were circulated and the showers had to be closed and disinfected for a day.

    Seriously, what's wrong with some people?


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    #13
    Ten of Swords
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,279 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    Keep it simple, if you're 99% certain it's this person then write their name on the laminated note above the toilet (preferably using a red sharpie!), they'll get the message that they've been found out pretty quick and you're not threatening or intimidating them.

    Seriously, anonymous email? Lad...

    Moderator: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Vegan & Vegetarian

    Category Moderator: Social & Fun



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    #14
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Ten of Swords wrote: »
    Keep it simple, if you're 99% certain it's this person then write their name on the laminated note above the toilet (preferably using a red sharpie!), they'll get the message that they've been found out pretty quick and you're not threatening or intimidating them.

    Seriously, anonymous email? Lad...

    Issue there is they will get a case and win and get compensated.


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    #15
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Ten of Swords wrote: »
    Keep it simple, if you're 99% certain it's this person then write their name on the laminated note above the toilet (preferably using a red sharpie!), they'll get the message that they've been found out pretty quick and you're not threatening or intimidating them.

    Seriously, anonymous email? Lad...

    I think thats too aggressive and will backfire, believe it or not people will side with him and see him as the victim here, and as they are super PC they will say "You have no evidence it's him" etc ... and he's a "genius" ... so you know he has a pass ..


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    #16
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,458 ✭✭✭valoren


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    I think thats too aggressive and will backfire, believe it or not people will side with him and see him as the victim here, and as they are super PC they will say "You have no evidence it's him" etc ... and he's a "genius" ... so you know he has a passpiss ..

    :D


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    #17
    PARlance
    Registered Users Posts: 21,094 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    facehugger99 wrote: »
    Some people are fcuking animals and almost every office has someone who pisses all over the toilet seat.

    I worked in an office (white collar, degree educated) where someone took a **** in the shower. Emails were circulated and the showers had to be closed and disinfected for a day.

    Seriously, what's wrong with some people?

    We had a lad who was into Snot Art. Disgusting f***er. It was fairly obvious who it was, a summer intern had just started as the green phlegm on the toilet wall did.

    I cracked and went for a fairly shameful "all staff" email. You've got to include the wimin for maximum impact. Got a few laughs and gasps of horror as the email was opened. I made a point of politely bringing it up with the Intern, he got the message. No more looking at a wall of dried snot. Poor f***ing cleaner had to clean it all off though.


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    #18
    Donald Trump
    Registered Users Posts: 19,071 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump


    We know you're game OP

    Your hidden camera in the jacks has been uncovered and you need an excuse as to why you put it there

    "oh it was to capture the phantom pisser"

    Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhtt


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    #19
    Donald Trump
    Registered Users Posts: 19,071 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump


    Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »
    Plant explosives in the bathroom. When he goes into the cubicle. Use remote detonation.




    Seems like the oul detonations might be causing the problem.


    We've all had a couple of messy explosions in our time.


    Night on the beer plus a dodgy curry


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    #20
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    We have a phantom pisser in our workplace, he leaves the toilet with piss all over the floor and on the toilet seat
    it's f*cking DISGUSTING!


    The other day there was a bit of shyte on the toilet seat.

    Now if that doesn't put you off your daily work ****, I dunno what would. Hope the situation improves, I feel for you guy.


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    #21
    Hammer89
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    I think he may be on "the spectrum" too.

    Does he have pisspergers?


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    #22
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    harry Bailey esq wrote: »
    Now if that doesn't put you off your daily work ****, I dunno what would. Hope the situation improves, I feel for you guy.

    :D:D:D

    How did you know ??

    Yeah , it's a ****ing joke, I've had to start having sneaky **** at my desk when others are out at lunch ... it's bloody exhausting!!!


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    #23
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    Really pisses me off

    IT’S YOU!


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    #24
    Lucena
    Registered Users Posts: 1,304 ✭✭✭Lucena


    WORST. SUPERHERO. EVER.


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    #25
    harry Bailey esq
    Registered Users Posts: 4,814 ✭✭✭harry Bailey esq


    Hector Savage wrote: »
    :D:D:D

    How did you know ??

    Yeah , it's a ****ing joke, I've had to start having sneaky **** at my desk when others are out at lunch ... it's bloody exhausting!!!

    Ah well, at least you have the computer at the desk to speed things along. When life throws you lemons etc etc...


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    #26
    jippo nolan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭jippo nolan


    PARlance wrote: »
    We had a lad who was into Snot Art. Disgusting f***er. It was fairly obvious who it was, a summer intern had just started as the green phlegm on the toilet wall did.

    I cracked and went for a fairly shameful "all staff" email. You've got to include the wimin for maximum impact. Got a few laughs and gasps of horror as the email was opened. I made a point of politely bringing it up with the Intern, he got the message. No more looking at a wall of dried snot. Poor f***ing cleaner had to clean it all off though.

    We had one in our company years ago, we called them “encrustations”


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    #27
    Pauliedragon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,470 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    Look at this madman

    It could be worse. Look at what this lunatic was doing to his neighbours.


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    #28
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    put a4 printed sheets up in the traps saying

    "we know who you are and this is your last chance #pisser"

    that was done in an office where I worked years ago who tended to leave the jacks like a sh1tbomb had gone off on/about the bowl/seat with no effort to clean up and it worked.

    of course it could be a case of a micro-penis dude with a shaky hand whose aim is severely off as a result.

    at least he's not pissing in the coffee
    AKRON, Ohio - A former postal worker who poured urine into his co-workers' coffee must serve six months in a jail work-release program.

    Thomas Shaheen, 50, of suburban Springfield Township, also must pay $1,200 to the people he used to work with to cover their cost of making a secret video of his role in tainting the office coffee.

    Shaheen stood and apologized to several postal workers in Akron Municipal Court where he pleaded guilty on Monday to two misdemeanor charges of tainting food.

    "I don't know what became of me," said Shaheen, a postal employee for 13 years fired from his job at a post office vehicle maintenance facility in Akron. "I hope you find it in your hearts someday to forgive me."

    The tainting occurred over several months. When workers realized what was going on, they told supervisors and an investigation began. When nothing came of the probe, workers had a video camera installed in the room where staffers made coffee.


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    #29
    Star Bingo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,366 ✭✭✭Star Bingo


    Pauliedragon wrote: »
    Look at this madman

    I hope they told him to bog off


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    #30
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Update on this, he struck again a few days ago ... but in between the complaint and the sending of an email it was sent a day later to all the men in the office - but he was out ... so didn't even reach the f*cking target !!!


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    #31
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭Jim Bob Scratcher


    Pauliedragon wrote: »
    Look at this madman

    It could be worse. Look at what this lunatic was doing to his neighbours.

    He looks a bit like Trump :pac:


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