The PHANTOM PISSER !!!!

Hector Savage

We have a phantom pisser in our workplace, he leaves the toilet with piss all over the floor and on the toilet seat
it's f*cking DISGUSTING!

We have worked out who he is.
He used to work only in afternoons - in the mornings all the toilets were spotless.

Then he took holidays - for the 2 weeks he was gone - not one drop of piss on the floor.

And since then when he has been off for a day or two - no issues.

People have complained to HR and the men have received a general email asking whoever it is to
cop on - and it works for a while, then the piss starts appearing again.

The other day there was a bit of shyte on the toilet seat.

Really pisses me off that we all are collectively blamed when it's easy to work out who it is - a
few of us have - I'm sure more have too.

But of course , unless you are 100% sure with evidence you can't exactly confront the guy - or can you ?

Anyone ever been in a similar situation ? is there a good way to approach him without causing an issue ?

I think he may be on "the spectrum" too , so maybe that will give him a pass - there is a bang of BO of him
and other colleagues excuse it as apparently he is a "genius" and important to the workplace ....

Getting to the stage where I'm timing my WC visitis to coincide with a morning coffee in the cafe on the street
below....

testicles

This post has been deleted.

ELM327

As someone who is both on the spectrum and working in an office I can assure you that being on the spectrum has nothing to do with poor hygiene or toilet etiquette. If anything I am more likely to follow the rules not less.

We have two "disgusting cretins" in my office, colloqiually known as "flakey" and "mr brownfinger".
Flakey is someone who spends most of his day picking his nose or other holes and eating it, mr brownfinger spends his time "painting" the inside walls of cubicles.

kneemos

DNA test obviously.

Zebra3

Probably some young one.

ELM327

Zebra3 wrote: »

Probably some young one.

Is she hot?
In which case, all is not only forgiven but quite frankly encouraged.

Hector Savage

testicles wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

haha!!
Thats the only other explanation for how it might not be him, if someone is purposefully NOT doing it while he is away.


Doubt it though

K.Flyer

Keep complaining to HR and get them to look into having urinal(s) fitted if there are none already there.
Get notices laminated and stick them up in the cubicles.
That type of inconsideration is disgusting.

punisher5112

Sounds like the phantom ****ter that use to get the bus back in the day. He would lift the rear seats upstairs and open a panel and let loose.

Try and figure out his bowel movements and leave piss and **** on each seat so he will have no choice to clean before he goes.

Hector Savage

K.Flyer wrote: »

Keep complaining to HR and get them to look into having urinal(s) fitted if there are none already there.
Get notices laminated and stick them up in the cubicles.
That type of inconsideration is disgusting.

We have laminated notices hung above the toilets.

Again, worked for a while ... I think something more direct is needed, like an anonymous email.

No aggression or anything, but I think when he knows he is found out it should stop.

We have clients today visiting the office and HR sent an email out to all men pleading to keep the WC clean - how embarrassing :mad:

TheValeyard

Plant explosives in the bathroom. When he goes into the cubicle. Use remote detonation.

facehugger99

Some people are fcuking animals and almost every office has someone who pisses all over the toilet seat.

I worked in an office (white collar, degree educated) where someone took a **** in the shower. Emails were circulated and the showers had to be closed and disinfected for a day.

Seriously, what's wrong with some people?

Ten of Swords

Keep it simple, if you're 99% certain it's this person then write their name on the laminated note above the toilet (preferably using a red sharpie!), they'll get the message that they've been found out pretty quick and you're not threatening or intimidating them.

Seriously, anonymous email? Lad...

punisher5112

Ten of Swords wrote: »

Keep it simple, if you're 99% certain it's this person then write their name on the laminated note above the toilet (preferably using a red sharpie!), they'll get the message that they've been found out pretty quick and you're not threatening or intimidating them.

Seriously, anonymous email? Lad...

Issue there is they will get a case and win and get compensated.

Hector Savage

Ten of Swords wrote: »

Keep it simple, if you're 99% certain it's this person then write their name on the laminated note above the toilet (preferably using a red sharpie!), they'll get the message that they've been found out pretty quick and you're not threatening or intimidating them.

Seriously, anonymous email? Lad...

I think thats too aggressive and will backfire, believe it or not people will side with him and see him as the victim here, and as they are super PC they will say "You have no evidence it's him" etc ... and he's a "genius" ... so you know he has a pass ..

valoren

Hector Savage wrote: »

I think thats too aggressive and will backfire, believe it or not people will side with him and see him as the victim here, and as they are super PC they will say "You have no evidence it's him" etc ... and he's a "genius" ... so you know he has a passpiss ..

PARlance

facehugger99 wrote: »

Some people are fcuking animals and almost every office has someone who pisses all over the toilet seat.

I worked in an office (white collar, degree educated) where someone took a **** in the shower. Emails were circulated and the showers had to be closed and disinfected for a day.

Seriously, what's wrong with some people?

We had a lad who was into Snot Art. Disgusting f***er. It was fairly obvious who it was, a summer intern had just started as the green phlegm on the toilet wall did.

I cracked and went for a fairly shameful "all staff" email. You've got to include the wimin for maximum impact. Got a few laughs and gasps of horror as the email was opened. I made a point of politely bringing it up with the Intern, he got the message. No more looking at a wall of dried snot. Poor f***ing cleaner had to clean it all off though.

Donald Trump

We know you're game OP

Your hidden camera in the jacks has been uncovered and you need an excuse as to why you put it there

"oh it was to capture the phantom pisser"

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhtt

Donald Trump

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Plant explosives in the bathroom. When he goes into the cubicle. Use remote detonation.

Seems like the oul detonations might be causing the problem.


We've all had a couple of messy explosions in our time.


Night on the beer plus a dodgy curry

harry Bailey esq

Hector Savage wrote: »

We have a phantom pisser in our workplace, he leaves the toilet with piss all over the floor and on the toilet seat
it's f*cking DISGUSTING!


The other day there was a bit of shyte on the toilet seat.

Now if that doesn't put you off your daily work ****, I dunno what would. Hope the situation improves, I feel for you guy.

Hammer89

Hector Savage wrote: »

I think he may be on "the spectrum" too.

Does he have pisspergers?

Hector Savage

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Now if that doesn't put you off your daily work ****, I dunno what would. Hope the situation improves, I feel for you guy.

How did you know ??

Yeah , it's a ****ing joke, I've had to start having sneaky **** at my desk when others are out at lunch ... it's bloody exhausting!!!

retro:electro

Hector Savage wrote: »

Really pisses me off

IT’S YOU!

Lucena

WORST. SUPERHERO. EVER.

harry Bailey esq

Hector Savage wrote: »

How did you know ??

Yeah , it's a ****ing joke, I've had to start having sneaky **** at my desk when others are out at lunch ... it's bloody exhausting!!!

Ah well, at least you have the computer at the desk to speed things along. When life throws you lemons etc etc...

jippo nolan

PARlance wrote: »

We had a lad who was into Snot Art. Disgusting f***er. It was fairly obvious who it was, a summer intern had just started as the green phlegm on the toilet wall did.

I cracked and went for a fairly shameful "all staff" email. You've got to include the wimin for maximum impact. Got a few laughs and gasps of horror as the email was opened. I made a point of politely bringing it up with the Intern, he got the message. No more looking at a wall of dried snot. Poor f***ing cleaner had to clean it all off though.

We had one in our company years ago, we called them “encrustations”

Pauliedragon

Look at this madman

It could be worse. Look at what this lunatic was doing to his neighbours.

put a4 printed sheets up in the traps saying

"we know who you are and this is your last chance #pisser"

that was done in an office where I worked years ago who tended to leave the jacks like a sh1tbomb had gone off on/about the bowl/seat with no effort to clean up and it worked.

of course it could be a case of a micro-penis dude with a shaky hand whose aim is severely off as a result.

at least he's not pissing in the coffee

AKRON, Ohio - A former postal worker who poured urine into his co-workers' coffee must serve six months in a jail work-release program.

Thomas Shaheen, 50, of suburban Springfield Township, also must pay $1,200 to the people he used to work with to cover their cost of making a secret video of his role in tainting the office coffee.

Shaheen stood and apologized to several postal workers in Akron Municipal Court where he pleaded guilty on Monday to two misdemeanor charges of tainting food.

"I don't know what became of me," said Shaheen, a postal employee for 13 years fired from his job at a post office vehicle maintenance facility in Akron. "I hope you find it in your hearts someday to forgive me."

The tainting occurred over several months. When workers realized what was going on, they told supervisors and an investigation began. When nothing came of the probe, workers had a video camera installed in the room where staffers made coffee.

Star Bingo

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Look at this madman

I hope they told him to bog off

Hector Savage

Update on this, he struck again a few days ago ... but in between the complaint and the sending of an email it was sent a day later to all the men in the office - but he was out ... so didn't even reach the f*cking target !!!

Jim Bob Scratcher

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Look at this madman

It could be worse. Look at what this lunatic was doing to his neighbours.

He looks a bit like Trump :pac:

Hector Savage

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Look at this madman

It could be worse. Look at what this lunatic was doing to his neighbours.

ah christ .... should be a NSFW warning there ...

Deebles McBeebles

Hector Savage wrote: »

Update on this, he struck again a few days ago ... but in between the complaint and the sending of an email it was sent a day later to all the men in the office - but he was out ... so didn't even reach the f*cking target !!!

We have a Phantom Sh*tter in our office. Female. Became The Phantom Bleeder a few weeks back for leaving the ladies in a state again. The section who deals with cleaning have described it to me, sh*t all over the wall, floor, toilet itself.

Anyway, glad to hear I'm not the only one!

mloc123

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

We have a Phantom Sh*tter in our office. Female. Became The Phantom Bleeder a few weeks back for leaving the ladies in a state again. The section who deals with cleaning have described it to me, sh*t all over the wall, floor, toilet itself.

Anyway, glad to hear I'm not the only one!

My wife told me that in her workplace somebody rubbed **** and blood all over the walls of a cubicle once... WTF.

Do they come prepared with surgical gloves or is it a spur of the moment thing and they are happy to have ****ty smelling hands all day after?

Deebles McBeebles

mloc123 wrote: »

My wife told me that in her workplace somebody rubbed **** and blood all over the walls of a cubicle once... WTF.

Do they come prepared with surgical gloves or is it a spur of the moment thing and they are happy to have ****ty smelling hands all day after?

Honestly, I've spent way too much time thinking about why. We can all forgive the odd accident but this is going on for the guts of a year now. Numerous emails sent out about the state it was left in but its like every once in a while she gets the urge and just goes for it.

Hector Savage

Hector Savage wrote: »

.................
We have worked out who he is.
............ it's easy to work out who it is - a
few of us have - I'm sure more have too.

................................

I think he may be on "the spectrum" too , so maybe that will give him a pass - there is a bang of BO of him
and other colleagues excuse it as apparently he is a "genius" and important to the workplace ....................

Could be someone else doing it and making it seem like it's this chap.

SuperSean11

I bet it’s a woman

tupenny

Some1 has a snot wall above 1 of the urinals in our office. Cleaners do be on massive rants about having to scrape it off.
Some weird people among us

uch

We have a durty Bollix who wipes Big green and brown Crusty snots all over the cubicle doors, toilets were done up all fancy, still only took the fúcker a week to destroy trap 1 and trap 3 doors

Toots

Hector Savage wrote: »

Update on this, he struck again a few days ago ... but in between the complaint and the sending of an email it was sent a day later to all the men in the office - but he was out ... so didn't even reach the f*cking target !!!

Could someone not print out a letter and leave it on his desk "we know it is you leaving the toilet in such a disgusting state, please have some consideration for your co workers and stop pissing and crapping all over the toilet and floor"

Feisar

Thinly veiled "blast it with piss" thread.

Feisar

Augeo wrote: »

Could be someone else doing it and making it seem like it's this chap.

This was my first thought.

Sycamore Tree

Hector Savage wrote: »

The other day there was a bit of shyte on the toilet seat.

Explain the link here. Odds are that was a different person who rose too early.

Deebles McBeebles

Time to get HR to start up an information session on how to wipe.

Aglomerado

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Time to get HR to start up an information session on how to wipe.

I suggested that when I left my last job. I don't know if it was ever implemented....

Deebles McBeebles

Aglomerado wrote: »

I suggested that when I left my last job. I don't know if it was ever implemented....

I hope by suggested you mean, screamed it at everyone as you walked out.

screamer

Pour yellow coloured water on his desk and leave a note saying it's only water.... Not piss.

Dr Strange

facehugger99 wrote: »

Some people are fcuking animals and almost every office has someone who pisses all over the toilet seat.

I worked in an office (white collar, degree educated) where someone took a **** in the shower. Emails were circulated and the showers had to be closed and disinfected for a day.

Seriously, what's wrong with some people?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zM1P0oc2-es

ZeroThreat

Hector Savage wrote: »

We have a phantom pisser in our workplace, he leaves the toilet with piss all over the floor and on the toilet seat
it's f*cking DISGUSTING!

We have worked out who he is.
He used to work only in afternoons - in the mornings all the toilets were spotless.

Then he took holidays - for the 2 weeks he was gone - not one drop of piss on the floor.

And since then when he has been off for a day or two - no issues.

People have complained to HR and the men have received a general email asking whoever it is to
cop on - and it works for a while, then the piss starts appearing again.

The other day there was a bit of shyte on the toilet seat.

Really pisses me off that we all are collectively blamed when it's easy to work out who it is - a
few of us have - I'm sure more have too.

But of course , unless you are 100% sure with evidence you can't exactly confront the guy - or can you ?

Anyone ever been in a similar situation ? is there a good way to approach him without causing an issue ?

I think he may be on "the spectrum" too , so maybe that will give him a pass - there is a bang of BO of him
and other colleagues excuse it as apparently he is a "genius" and important to the workplace ....

Getting to the stage where I'm timing my WC visitis to coincide with a morning coffee in the cafe on the street
below....

We have someone similar in my workplace. Unfortunately it's the owner and MD so can't really do much about it

Deebles McBeebles

ZeroThreat wrote: »

We have someone similar in my workplace. Unfortunately it's the owner and MD so can't really do much about it

Liberally sprinkle insinuations that those who miss only do so because they lack in size.

marley1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3WzH8AdCow