Why the Serious Fuss Over Weddings?

cj maxx · 15-11-2019 6:37am

If I was getting married again ,that's what I would do.

Neyite · 15-11-2019 10:54am

JJayoo wrote: »

Do any grooms enjoy the planning and day of the wedding? Or is it just something they have to endure for the bride

Out of about 7 or so family weddings I knew the details of, three of the grooms were the ones who wanted the big wedding, their brides would have been happy with a smaller event. A fourth bride had her dad insist it was a big 300+ guest list when she just wanted a family only day. So often it's the groom or father of the bride wanting a big party with loads of people but when you invite loads it spirals into a bigger day - bigger venue to accomodate all those guests means bigger floral arrangements, maybe a different type of musical set up for the service, bigger venue means more chair covers/ canape's /welcome drinks and so on.

Neyite · 15-11-2019 10:57am

2pacshakur wrote: »

Utterly pointless having a massive wedding in my opinion. I have cousins I haven't talked to in ten years and some I don't particularly like and just because there related I'll invite them to my wedding. No thanks!!
It's one day of your life and spending huge amount of money on one day is utterly pointless.

It will be registry office in the afternoon, 3 or four close friends, current siblings, meal afterwards and then on the piss for the night.

Yes, but it's not up to just you - there's two of you getting married so your partner might want a say in what they would like for their wedding day as well...

PhilOssophy · 15-11-2019 11:30am

MissShihTzu wrote: »

Meh. it's a wedding. One of life's events.

If you want to spend loads? Fine. If you don't? Also fine. The couple have the wedding they want. If I am available and want to go? I'll go and give a nice present. If I can't? Send regrets and a card.

These threads are all the same as LirW says. An opportunity for hypocrisy and wedding-bashing. People need to mind their own business and get on with life.

Here here. My attitude entirely. If you want to go, go. If you don't, don't.
Most brides and grooms would rather people didn't go than sat there giving out about it all day!

Nobody is forced to do anything, plenty of people left our wedding straight after the meal (and we didn't make a mental note of who, we didn't care and I doubt any bride/groom even notices).

In Ireland with some people :
- Wedding invite = oh ffs, I've to go to that now, I need to book in for 2 nights, blah blah. Basically finding stuff to give out about.
- No wedding invite = the b****x/b***h, they didn't invite me.

Damned if they do, damned if they don't!

15-11-2019 11:55am

More and more like the Americans Irish people love to watch pageants as well as participate in them. A wedding is going to be the highlight pageant in the life of the bride and groom:. I'm thinking here about the under 6 page boy and flower girls here.

joe40 · 15-11-2019 3:46pm

It's been nearly 20 years since I got married and it was a fairly typical wedding. In terms of cost the presents I received covered a good chunk of the expense, would that not still be the case.

Even 200 people giving an average of 100 euro each (Cash or gift equivalent) would take in 20,000 euro. Would that not go a long way to meet wedding costs.

chrissb8 · 15-11-2019 3:54pm

MissShihTzu wrote: »

Meh. it's a wedding. One of life's events.

If you want to spend loads? Fine. If you don't? Also fine. The couple have the wedding they want. If I am available and want to go? I'll go and give a nice present. If I can't? Send regrets and a card.

These threads are all the same as LirW says. An opportunity for hypocrisy and wedding-bashing. People need to mind their own business and get on with life.

You do realise you're on a forum for discussing such things? I mean that's the whole point of this thread. A discussion. On what people think of weddings.

Complaining about people who are merely voicing their opinion (no matter how much you don't like it) is pointless. Wedding bashing as it were is just how people feel about it. Serving the purpose of which the OP intended. To garner opinions on the subject.

Sleepy · 15-11-2019 4:09pm

JJayoo wrote: »

Do any grooms enjoy the planning and day of the wedding? Or is it just something they have to endure for the bride

I'd say I did about 90% of the planning for our wedding and enjoyed most of it as I've always enjoyed event planning and Mrs Sleepy wouldn't be into it.

We did a fairly typical humanist "ceremony and reception in the hotel" wedding with about 130 guests and didn't waste money on a lot of the extras. My brother is a musician brought his band as his gift to us, his now wife did the photography, made the cake ourselves, didn't have favours or photo booths or any of that craic, bought the flowers in the Smithfield market, dress was bought in a closing down sale, suits were hired on mates rates from an associate of my godmother etc. The only things I can think of that say we spent money on "needlessly" were getting really good wine for the meal (haggled the hotel into not charging us for the corkage - one of the benefits of getting married during a recession) and I surprised Mrs Sleepy with a string trio who played rock music for our ceremony and reception - found them through boards.ie actually and I'll give them a plug since they were great: Here Comes the Trio.

We'd have preferred to have done something even smaller and more low key but it would have upset my mother if we'd not invited all her sisters and some family on the other side would have been offended not to have been invited if we'd done things entirely our own way etc.

One thing I can say having gone throuh the experience is that I think most of the aspiring "instagram brides" are in for a big shock when they start their planning. Going outside the norm of having a meal and reception in a hotel gets expensive extremely quickly in Ireland unless you have the right contacts, are happy with cutting your guest list to the bone (and the ensuing fall-out from upset/offended relatives) or a business is getting a free advert on RTE for a discount.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 15-11-2019 4:42pm

Sleepy wrote: »

I'd say I did about 90% of the planning for our wedding and enjoyed most of it as I've always enjoyed event planning and Mrs Sleepy wouldn't be into it.

We did a fairly typical humanist "ceremony and reception in the hotel" wedding with about 130 guests and didn't waste money on a lot of the extras. My brother is a musician brought his band as his gift to us, his now wife did the photography, made the cake ourselves, didn't have favours or photo booths or any of that craic, bought the flowers in the Smithfield market, dress was bought in a closing down sale, suits were hired on mates rates from an associate of my godmother etc. The only things I can think of that say we spent money on "needlessly" were getting really good wine for the meal (haggled the hotel into not charging us for the corkage - one of the benefits of getting married during a recession) and I surprised Mrs Sleepy with a string trio who played rock music for our ceremony and reception - found them through boards.ie actually and I'll give them a plug since they were great: Here Comes the Trio.

We'd have preferred to have done something even smaller and more low key but it would have upset my mother if we'd not invited all her sisters and some family on the other side would have been offended not to have been invited if we'd done things entirely our own way etc.

One thing I can say having gone throuh the experience is that I think most of the aspiring "instagram brides" are in for a big shock when they start their planning. Going outside the norm of having a meal and reception in a hotel gets expensive extremely quickly in Ireland unless you have the right contacts, are happy with cutting your guest list to the bone (and the ensuing fall-out from upset/offended relatives) or a business is getting a free advert on RTE for a discount.

What’s the link between social media and non-traditional weddings? Doing something different for photo ops?

Sleepy · 15-11-2019 5:55pm

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

What’s the link between social media and non-traditional weddings? Doing something different for photo ops?

For photo ops and internet popularity points, or because of them...

I was using the term to describe the type of people who seem more concerned with being able to post great photos of their "special day" than the marriage itself.

Crock Rock · 15-11-2019 5:59pm

Irish people spend an obscene amount of money on weddings.

My auntie (mam's sister) married a German man. After their modest civil ceremony, they went to a family-run Gasthaus (like a Hotel) for a meal, "Kaffee und Kuchen" and a few drinks afterwards with the wedding cake.

The whole affair was no different to a large family meal.

Electric Sheep · 15-11-2019 6:03pm

Deleted User wrote: »

More and more like the Americans Irish people love to watch pageants as well as participate in them. A wedding is going to be the highlight pageant in the life of the bride and groom:. I'm thinking here about the under 6 page boy and flower girls here.

All of the weddings I have attended in the US have been far less formal and much more simple (and enoyable) than the ones I have attended in Ireland. What you see on TV is far removed from real life for most people.

Agricola · 15-11-2019 8:01pm

In summary;

We love a big hoolie with lorry loads of drink, a wedding is perfect in this regard.

We love to blow our own trumpets and put on a big show to display our wealth, whether that be houses, cars, holidays or weddings.

We are innately people pleasers who always try to give others what we think they want, whereas other nations/cultures are more self centred.

MissShihTzu · 15-11-2019 10:14pm

chrissb8 wrote: »

You do realise you're on a forum for discussing such things? I mean that's the whole point of this thread. A discussion. On what people think of weddings.

Complaining about people who are merely voicing their opinion (no matter how much you don't like it) is pointless. Wedding bashing as it were is just how people feel about it. Serving the purpose of which the OP intended. To garner opinions on the subject.

And your point would be what, exactly? Where does my post say I complained?? I stated facts as I saw them. Perhaps you ought to read over it again...

appledrop · 15-11-2019 10:40pm

I love going to weddings. As far as I'm concerned a wedding is a celebration of life event for your friends/family members. Also like the catch up with everyone.

Now it probably helps that we only have 1 or 2 a year at this stage so means we can enjoy it. I think some people go to too many weddings. An invite is just that. If you dont know the couple that well or other people going then dont feel like you have to go.

However I cant stand 2nd day events. Its too much expecting people to stay second day or night. I find that very self indulgent.

Why the Serious Fuss Over Weddings?

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