Dumb/Great Facebook Status [No Names] - Part III

Hector Savage · 27-01-2021 11:37am

coolhull wrote: »

"No the problem is that the govement are taking in refuges a d given them a houwse car every tink for free and then to the peple that are from there are just told oh we can't help it's fu*kin shockin help are owen peple befor otters send them back to where they came from not are problem so why should they be looked after befor are owen fu*king shoking f*cking govement",

'Help are owen peple befor otters'

Why? Are otters now getting ahead of themselves?
Are our beautiful wild rivers not good enough for them anymore?
Coming over here n taking "are howzes, are cars evry tink...."
Damned hairy long-tailed fur - rinners!!!

The poor otters!!
Sea_Otter_%28Enhydra_lutris%29_%2825169790524%29_crop.jpg

inforfun · 27-01-2021 1:56pm

"The **** did i do?"
-Jimmy McNulty and that otter in the pic

El Gato De Negocios · 27-01-2021 2:41pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

hung like a chikattee dipped in hot water

I didn't think it would be possible to top the ballbag of sorrow description yet here we are. Superb.

fussyonion · 27-01-2021 11:06pm

'Like this post if u like it missionary, heart this post if you like being on top, share this post if u take it up the gìcker'.

ohnonotgmail · 27-01-2021 11:11pm

fussyonion wrote: »

'Like this post if u like it missionary, heart this post if you like being on top, share this post if u take it up the gìcker'.

and they say romance is dead.

Leg End Reject · 27-01-2021 11:52pm

fussyonion wrote: »

'Like this post if u like it missionary, heart this post if you like being on top, share this post if u take it up the gìcker'.

How many shared it?

thesandeman · 28-01-2021 1:55am

Leg End Reject wrote: »

How many shared it?

Well, fussyonion just shared it here!!

fritzelly · 28-01-2021 3:05am

thesandeman wrote: »

Well, fussyonion just shared it here!!

Hmmm...

Neyite · 28-01-2021 2:07pm

fussyonion wrote: »

'Kathleen im coming down your gaff wensday and im goin ta punch the teet out your mouth u big smelly ballbag of sorrow wait n see

Hector Savage wrote: »

any update on Kathleen ?
has she still got her teeth ?

Kathleen's PA may not have spotted the Teams invite in the calendar I'd say.

Hector Savage · 28-01-2021 4:01pm

fussyonion wrote: »

'Like this post if u like it missionary, heart this post if you like being on top, share this post if u take it up the gìcker'.

gicker!
Haven't heard that since I was in school, went to school with lads who used that, never heard it before or since ...

Hotblack Desiato · 28-01-2021 7:59pm

aka the Brenda

Brenda Fricker

Mollyb60 · 25-03-2021 3:04pm

I get the gist of this but jesus it was a slog to read:

Dirty scumbag try to stop me from taken [name] he was going mad block me off and all beause i wouldn let [name] out of the car they have him terrifie he was shaking and all sin taken hes money off him bastards all broke up again sick of it now poor [name] taken hes money al they are of him prick and he saying [name] I need money for petrol the cheek out of him sad when your have to rob a sick man and [female name] my uncle has no children from you he has no kids full stop stop telling him hes to pay you for someone else children like really the man would give ye money it notting to him as long he has a can sin yel have no luck for it robbing a sick man this how I found my uncle the morning terrified

fritzelly · 25-03-2021 3:30pm

My brain is in meltdown

Yeah_Right · 25-03-2021 3:57pm

Can we get a translation?

Mollyb60 · 25-03-2021 5:35pm

I think it translates to this:

Dirty scumbag tried to stop me from taking [name]. He was going mad trying to block me off because i wouldn't let [name] out of the car. They have him terrified. He was shaking and all. They've taken his money off him, the bastards. He's all broken up again. I'm sick of it now. Poor [name]. They've taken his money. All of them are pricks. And he (assuming the aforementioned dirty scumbag) saying: "[name] I need money for petrol". The cheek of him. It's sad when you have to rob a sick man.
By the way, [female name], my uncle is not the father of your children. He has no kids at all. Stop telling him he has to pay you for someone else's children. Really? The man would give you money, it's nothing to him. As long as he has a can.
You'll have no luck for robbing a sick man. This how I found my uncle this morning, terrified.

*sigh* that was tough.

Mollyb60 · 25-03-2021 10:04pm

Oh christ it's all kicking off on the town page today!!! Follow up from previous poster about her uncle:

[female name] and [previously mentioned dirty scumbag] ye should be ashamed of yer lifes taken cares out on [uncle] and taken he weekly money off him ye are notting but bullys I also no ye are from [place] too now ye can pick up to me or text me when ye see this or I will get ye done for taking my uncle for a fool everyone nos [uncle] would give you hes heart on a planet hes neices and nephews will be putting a stop to this carrying on [uncle] dont deserve it yes I got your name in the red car taken a sick man money for your fits how dear ye go and claim carers for him ye will get me on this or we will see ye I've told all my cousin yer names and I've addressed leve my uncle alone if ye see him cross the road for yer own sakes by now done cant believe this carrying on

It wasnt me123 · 26-03-2021 2:43pm

The saddest think is these people are procreating. Telpis

Mena Mitty · 30-03-2021 11:47pm

...............................a **** car going around my sis estate taking catholic convertures. Keep a eye out folks.

Leg End Reject · 30-03-2021 11:49pm

Mena Mitty wrote: »

...............................a **** car going around my sis estate taking catholic convertures. Keep a eye out folks.

Translation?

Mena Mitty · 31-03-2021 12:01am

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Translation?

There's a car in my sister's estate taking catalytic converters. Keep an eye out folks.

Jerrykay6 · 31-03-2021 12:03am

It wasnt me123 wrote: »

The saddest think is these people are procreating. Telpis

Procreating at rates that far exceed any respectable people and with incentive by the government to do so.

Leg End Reject · 31-03-2021 12:10am

Mena Mitty wrote: »

There's a car in my sister's estate taking catalytic converters. Keep an eye out folks.

That's brilliant!

I'd never have figured that out.

chooseusername · 31-03-2021 8:30am

Mena Mitty wrote: »

...............................a **** car going around my sis estate taking catholic convertures. Keep a eye out folks.

catholic convertures! don't they change black exhaust smoke to white smoke?

893bet · 31-03-2021 8:35am

Leg End Reject wrote: »

That's brilliant!

I'd never have figured that out.

The fact that it made sense to me that I thought there was someone going around stealing statues of the Virgin Mary.....well certain parts of society like that sort of thing.

Hotblack Desiato · 31-03-2021 3:13pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Translation?

wun a dese yolks:

Foweva Awone · 03-04-2021 11:08am

Tha Compition On This Between Innacent Kids Is Absolutely Disgustin Tbh. Wiv There Fully Grown Hairy Ass Mothers/Family Hu Has Tha Best This Hu Pays Tha Most Tha Or Tha Bestest Lukin. All Kids Are Beautiful & Develope Differently In There Own Time & Way Gbt All. Ye Shud Be Ashamed Ye're Lives & Bless Ye're Faces Tha Ye Can Have Them & Rear Um Instead Of Comparing Them 2 Others. Tha End Of Tha Day It's Luv Time & Security Any Child Needs & Wil Remember. Not A Big Show 4 Every1 Else I'm Far From Perfect No1 Is. Jus Think Few Needs Ta Cum Down From Tha High Horse Cos Where I'm Standing I'm Pretty Sure It's A Donkey Tbh

Princess Calla · 03-04-2021 12:28pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Tha Compition On This Between Innacent Kids Is Absolutely Disgustin Tbh. Wiv There Fully Grown Hairy Ass Mothers/Family Hu Has Tha Best This Hu Pays Tha Most Tha Or Tha Bestest Lukin. All Kids Are Beautiful & Develope Differently In There Own Time & Way Gbt All. Ye Shud Be Ashamed Ye're Lives & Bless Ye're Faces Tha Ye Can Have Them & Rear Um Instead Of Comparing Them 2 Others. Tha End Of Tha Day It's Luv Time & Security Any Child Needs & Wil Remember. Not A Big Show 4 Every1 Else I'm Far From Perfect No1 Is. Jus Think Few Needs Ta Cum Down From Tha High Horse Cos Where I'm Standing I'm Pretty Sure It's A Donkey Tbh

Tbh I kinda agree with her sentiment

Maybe a little work on her language skills is needed

Foweva Awone · 04-04-2021 10:12pm

This bugs me, struggle or not I struggle all the time but a Easter egg is a euro and if u can’t goway and spend 50 euro on ur kid’s for Easter then I dunno!!!bugs me!!!! There out since January!!!!!! So if people wanna buy 100 Easter eggs for the kids what’s it to ya **** off like!!!!

Foweva Awone · 23-04-2021 11:19pm

"My definition of a salmon salad courgettes asparagus red onion baby tomatoes and sweet potato dressing asthmatic vinegar reduced"

Loves me some asthmatic vinegar!

thesandeman · 24-04-2021 1:16am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

"My definition of a salmon salad courgettes asparagus red onion baby tomatoes and sweet potato dressing asthmatic vinegar reduced"

Loves me some asthmatic vinegar!

To be accompanied by a Corona beer.

inforfun · 24-04-2021 6:43am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

"My definition of a salmon salad courgettes asparagus red onion baby tomatoes and sweet potato dressing asthmatic vinegar reduced"

Loves me some asthmatic vinegar!

No clue what that person wanted to say there but it immediately made me think of this

dreamers75 · 25-04-2021 12:23am

So I went into Home Depot and Lowe’s today without a face covering and nobody said a word. It’s now a new beginning for me. I am tired of the government trying to program me for future violations against my civil liberties.

.....

Foweva Awone · 06-05-2021 10:47am

Why is everyone sending me happy birthday in private messages and not my page if I had known that i was an embarrassment to u I wouldn't have bother posting on ur timelines, and if I'm that much of an embarrassment DELETE ME, stick ur happy birthdays up ur hole...

El Gato De Negocios · 06-05-2021 11:33am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Why is everyone sending me happy birthday in private messages and not my page if I had known that i was an embarrassment to u I wouldn't have bother posting on ur timelines, and if I'm that much of an embarrassment DELETE ME, stick ur happy birthdays up ur hole...

Don't know what we did before Facebook was around to publicly validate the day we popped out of our mother's growler.

Foweva Awone · 07-05-2021 11:13pm

This Is For The Blonde Bimbo With The Nits crawling around her roots Layin little ****ty nit babies to crawl all around her skull ****in tramp side show bob I'm gona make an example of ya u horrid filthy animal whores **** , You've a face der like like u got trampled on by a horse up der in Ballinasloe, atein d tablets U ugly junkies deseased pest of a young wan

Gwan away n get a nose job for urself it's like a god dam curly wurly...you've more mileage on ya than a Dented Ford Escort. Your not even wort the status but I said I'd write it anyway for the sneer now **** off u ram your like a belted lizard roaming through the desert looking for shelter but u Hav it wit the nose on ya !!!! Now go back to ur carving of tomb stones u freak

tea and coffee · 07-05-2021 11:57pm

That's the best for a long time. Almost poetic.

coolhull · 16-05-2021 12:01pm

^^

Forever Awone, Am I mistaken or do these two not get on particulary well with each other?

Orange Tiny Terror · 16-05-2021 4:12pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

This Is For The Blonde Bimbo With The Nits crawling around her roots Layin little ****ty nit babies to crawl all around her skull ****in tramp side show bob I'm gona make an example of ya u horrid filthy animal whores **** , You've a face der like like u got trampled on by a horse up der in Ballinasloe, atein d tablets U ugly junkies deseased pest of a young wan Gwan away n get a nose job for urself it's like a god dam curly wurly...you've more mileage on ya than a Dented Ford Escort. Your not even wort the status but I said I'd write it anyway for the sneer now **** off u ram your like a belted lizard roaming through the desert looking for shelter but u Hav it wit the nose on ya !!!! Now go back to ur carving of tomb stones u freak

Whoever wrote that should look into creative writing, they clearly have a talent for it. Brilliant stuff

thesandeman · 06-06-2021 12:14am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Why is everyone sending me happy birthday in private messages and not my page if I had known that i was an embarrassment to u I wouldn't have bother posting on ur timelines, and if I'm that much of an embarrassment DELETE ME, stick ur happy birthdays up ur hole...

Just out of curiosity, did a Facebook friend of yours or fussyonions go on holiday to Eastbourne last September?

inforfun · 06-06-2021 8:24am

^^^

Fantastic.
Arrive a day early so it must be the hotel or booking.com that ****ed up. I would like that explained to me how that works, booking online, and filling in the dates yourself.

AndyBoBandy · 07-06-2021 6:42am

inforfun wrote: »

^^^

Fantastic.
Arrive a day early so it must bet hotel or booking.com that ****ed up. I would like that explained to me how that works, booking online, and filling in the dates yourself.

Ah yes, but the customer is always right!!!!

And the cheek of the hotel, willing to accommodate the guests a day earlier than was booked, but it will cost extra!!!!!!

Foweva Awone · 07-06-2021 10:31pm

"This is to pippers *Joan (name changed)* you pulled my son again this evening and asked for a women well I'm here in *estate name* as u no I waited for you 2 weeks ago and you never came but I'm here waiting for you now .. so come up to *estate name* myhuni I was never known as a fighter as everyone nos but no1 will try bully my children or walk over them and to us my history on my kids to call them names there will be no gards called this need to be over once and for all you won't keep bullying them and to say they have no mother because I'm there mother huni incase you didn't know like you said you'd die for yours but I'm I'd die for mine see ya soon huni"

I just love the passive aggressive "huni".

Burt Renaults · 08-06-2021 1:42am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

"This is to pippers *Joan (name changed)* you pulled my son again this evening and asked for a women well I'm here in *estate name* as u no I waited for you 2 weeks ago and you never came but I'm here waiting for you now .. so come up to *estate name* myhuni I was never known as a fighter as everyone nos but no1 will try bully my children or walk over them and to us my history on my kids to call them names there will be no gards called this need to be over once and for all you won't keep bullying them and to say they have no mother because I'm there mother huni incase you didn't know like you said you'd die for yours but I'm I'd die for mine see ya soon huni"

I just love the passive aggressive "huni".

I can't quite explain it, but I know exactly what that woman looks like. Exactly. And also what she was wearing when she wrote that.

drake70 · 08-06-2021 6:19pm

Burt Renaults wrote: »

I can't quite explain it, but I know exactly what that woman looks like. Exactly. And also what she was wearing when she wrote that.

So what colour were the pyjamas :pac:

Archeron · 08-06-2021 6:32pm

drake70 wrote: »

So what colour were the pyjamas :pac:

Bright pink velour with 'juicy" written across the arse in fake diamonds. And a pair of giant fluffy yellow duck slippers.

Foweva Awone · 18-06-2021 5:35pm

Would any parent risk lettin there kids play on running rail way track.. course not !!! So would you take chance gettin them vaccinated cos anything could happen to them same way train might stop but then it might not same with the vaccines sure could be ok but then again it could kill your child or damage them badly...for something that the get a cold from like any other cold they pick up poxie Tony Houlahan startin already sayin about kid gettin jab..so if people bring there kids jus to go on a holiday your one selfless c**t !! Cos if anything happens it doesn’t fall back on state or your neighbor or the suppler of the Jab as there cleared from any wrong doing !! It will be your fault !!

fritzelly · 18-06-2021 5:48pm

Anti vaxxers showing their level of education

chooseusername · 18-06-2021 8:05pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Would any parent risk lettin there kids play on running rail way track.. course not !!! So would you take chance gettin them vaccinated cos anything could happen to them same way train might stop but then it might not same with the vaccines sure could be ok but then again it could kill your child or damage them badly...for something that the get a cold from like any other cold they pick up poxie Tony Houlahan startin already sayin about kid gettin jab..so if people bring there kids jus to go on a holiday your one selfless c**t !! Cos if anything happens it doesn’t fall back on state or your neighbor or the suppler of the Jab as there cleared from any wrong doing !! It will be your fault !!

Now I'm confused.

Working class heroes · 18-06-2021 10:26pm

fritzelly wrote: »

Anti vaxxers showing their level of education

Iforgot what thread I was reading there for a second.
I was going to tell you and anyone who thanked your post to fcuk off.
Apologies.

Pherekydes · 18-06-2021 11:10pm

chooseusername wrote: »

Now I'm confused.

A selfless c**t is a new one on me.

Dumb/Great Facebook Status [No Names] - Part III

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