What's the etiquette here??

JohnnyFlash · 07-04-2019 2:59pm

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Was he Greek? You can’t put paper in the toilets over there. There’s a disgusting bin beside the toilet that you have to stuff them in.

A vile but necessary practice.

You ever in Italy? The shïtters over there have a ledge at the back of them where the log rests until you flush it away. Bizarre and grotesque.

EmmetSpiceland · 07-04-2019 3:34pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You ever in Italy? The shïtters over there have a ledge at the back of them where the log rests until you flush it away. Bizarre and grotesque.

I have, Johnny. It’s the one, and possibly only, issue I’d have with Italy, outside of a sporting sense obviously.

They have it in a number of European countries. It does nothing for the air quality in the bathroom. The water is there for a reason, people don’t appreciate how much smell the water holds in.

Here’s a pro tip for you in future, put down some paper on the ledge before you take a seat. This means the feculence will slide into the water more easily after you flush and won’t leave any unsightly streaks. Some of the hotels don’t provide a brush in every bathroom.

Brendan Bendar · 07-04-2019 4:14pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You ever in Italy? The shïtters over there have a ledge at the back of them where the log rests until you flush it away. Bizarre and grotesque.

:eek:

The log or the ****ters?

Brendan Bendar · 07-04-2019 4:28pm

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

There was a rule in the civil service up until very recently, all grades below Executive officer would have to wait until higher grades (Principal Officers, Dept Secretarys etc.) had completed their business in a bathroom and left until they could enter, in case they overheard anything.

Believe that was true.... lad working in, Finance...I think, was waiting for a free trap at the 1030 evacuation, when in rolls an Executive Officer and claims ‘privelege’.

Lad says he blew out a load like a bolt of otters going off a riverbank, and left the pan like the Derby Co. goalmouth in the 1960s.

Fcuking whack of stale salmon and peanuts was vile the lad said.

Like a bears den after a winter hibernation.....fcuking rank.

EmmetSpiceland · 07-04-2019 4:31pm

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

Where are you from yourself? Where I'm from (Ireland), giving a vivid description of a person's bowel movement would not be considered culturally normal.

You don’t get out much, do you? Get a group of lads together and inevitably the conversation will turn to toilets and what goes on within them.

You get this on office, club or social nights out. Someone will always have some funny or gross story to share. Harmless fun.

I should clarify, when I said “toilets and what goes on within them” I meant using them for their intended use, not anything sordid or unsavoury like “cottaging” or “glory holes”.

Aglomerado · 07-04-2019 10:31pm

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Believe that was true.... lad working in, Finance...I think, was waiting for a free trap at the 1030 evacuation, when in rolls an Executive Officer and claims ‘privelege’.

Lad says he blew out a load like a bolt of otters going off a riverbank, and left the pan like the Derby Co. goalmouth in the 1960s.

Fcuking whack of stale salmon and peanuts was vile the lad said.

Like a bears den after a winter hibernation.....fcuking rank.

:D:D
The hum in some government office bogs would make a grown man cry.
I learnt quickly to use a different jacks on a different floor if I saw certain people leaving as I was entering. One such person had the surname King which I extrapolated out to King of the Stinging Minging Ring....

Feisar · 07-04-2019 10:38pm

upinsmoke wrote: »

In the male jacks in work a foreigner always put his ****ty toilet paper into the bin. Everyone knew who it was and the cleaners went mental with HR and said there is nothing we can do about it.

Cleaner ended up removing the bin alltogether and HR eventually got a hand dryer in.
I'd say your man eventually flushed it or put it into a zip lock in his backpack.

It's a thing in a lot of countries. When I was in Thailand there was always a bin as they don't flush the toilet paper.

TomSweeney · 10-04-2019 12:28am

Classic stuff lads!!
"Bolt of otters off a riverbank"

tupenny · 10-04-2019 12:38am

PhilOssophy wrote: »

Don't care

Love it

Brendan Bendar · 10-04-2019 6:33am

Aglomerado wrote: »

:D:D
The hum in some government office bogs would make a grown man cry.
I learnt quickly to use a different jacks on a different floor if I saw certain people leaving as I was entering. One such person had the surname King which I extrapolated out to King of the Stinging Minging Ring....

The say that the 1030 evacuation in Government offices is somewhat akin to the great migration of wildebeest across the Serengeti.

As the full breakfast begins to sink toward nethers, there is a discernible drift toward the various bogs where the banging of doors, the tinkle of released belts,the satisfied sighs of flesh hitting seats before the roar of a full gut being splattered hard onto the pewter.

One poor lad who missed the 1030 ‘dump’ had to wait for a ‘slot’ around 1055.

Had the laptop with him and a hefty load, well ‘overcooked’in the ‘oven’.

Left the laptop half open at ‘procedures and privileges page’ on the seat but such was his haste to blow forgot it was there and fired ‘from the stoop position’ covering the device in a shower of hot loose midden.

Could well be an urban myth but I’ve heard that ‘story’ doing the rounds.

I heard that the laptop was unusable after the incident and was written off as ‘accidental contamination’

Cannot verify that.

Ush1 · 10-04-2019 9:30am

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

The say that the 1030 evacuation in Government offices is somewhat akin to the great migration of wildebeest across the Serengeti.

As the full breakfast begins to sink toward nethers, there is a discernible drift toward the various bogs where the banging of doors, the tinkle of released belts,the satisfied sighs of flesh hitting seats before the roar of a full gut being splattered hard onto the pewter.

One poor lad who missed the 1030 ‘dump’ had to wait for a ‘slot’ around 1055.

Had the laptop with him and a hefty load, well ‘overcooked’in the ‘oven’.

Left the laptop half open at ‘procedures and privileges page’ on the seat but such was his haste to blow forgot it was there and fired ‘from the stoop position’ covering the device in a shower of hot loose midden.

Could well be an urban myth but I’ve heard that ‘story’ doing the rounds.

I heard that the laptop was unusable after the incident and was written off as ‘accidental contamination’

Cannot verify that.

Similar story when I was working in the new Central Bank.

You'd be blessed to find a free trap by 10.35, and even if you did it would be coated with spatters, arse pubes and a warm hum from the last fellas oversized hole.

Brendan Bendar · 10-04-2019 9:32am

Ush1 wrote: »

Similar story when I was working in the new Central Bank.

You'd be blessed to find a free trap by 10.35, and even if you did it would be coated with spatters, arse pubes and a warm hum from the last fellas oversized hole.

Yes, and sometimes there’s a log left which would lead one to believe that the lad had a hole like the sleeve of an overcoat:mad:

Or had some kind of ‘drawstring ‘ contraption on his hoop.

EmmetSpiceland · 10-04-2019 9:35am

There’s only one thing worse than a cold seat, and that’s a warm one.

Well, maybe a warm one with a sweat patch at the back with a few short and curlies dotted about for good measure.

TomSweeney · 10-04-2019 9:36am

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

The say that the 1030 evacuation in Government offices is somewhat akin to the great migration of wildebeest across the Serengeti.

As the full breakfast begins to sink toward nethers, there is a discernible drift toward the various bogs where the banging of doors, the tinkle of released belts,the satisfied sighs of flesh hitting seats before the roar of a full gut being splattered hard onto the pewter.

One poor lad who missed the 1030 ‘dump’ had to wait for a ‘slot’ around 1055.

Had the laptop with him and a hefty load, well ‘overcooked’in the ‘oven’.

Left the laptop half open at ‘procedures and privileges page’ on the seat but such was his haste to blow forgot it was there and fired ‘from the stoop position’ covering the device in a shower of hot loose midden.

Could well be an urban myth but I’ve heard that ‘story’ doing the rounds.

I heard that the laptop was unusable after the incident and was written off as ‘accidental contamination’

Cannot verify that.

I'm ****ing crying in work here .... my 3 fav posters
pintman
johnnyflash
and now Brendan Bendar

keep it coming lads!

JohnnyFlash · 10-04-2019 9:39am

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

The say that the 1030 evacuation in Government offices is somewhat akin to the great migration of wildebeest across the Serengeti.

As the full breakfast begins to sink toward nethers, there is a discernible drift toward the various bogs where the banging of doors, the tinkle of released belts,the satisfied sighs of flesh hitting seats before the roar of a full gut being splattered hard onto the pewter.

One poor lad who missed the 1030 ‘dump’ had to wait for a ‘slot’ around 1055.

Had the laptop with him and a hefty load, well ‘overcooked’in the ‘oven’.

Left the laptop half open at ‘procedures and privileges page’ on the seat but such was his haste to blow forgot it was there and fired ‘from the stoop position’ covering the device in a shower of hot loose midden.

Could well be an urban myth but I’ve heard that ‘story’ doing the rounds.

I heard that the laptop was unusable after the incident and was written off as ‘accidental contamination’

Cannot verify that.

It happened, Brendan - Department of Education I believe.

Secretary General was in a meeting with the Minister at the time, but was called out due to a ‘Code Red’.

The guy who had the accident was moved to another department by the end of the day - all very hush hush. Heard he now works in the Dept of Agriculture - something to do with measuring emissions and effluent runoff. So obviously at least one civil servant has a sense of humour.

Don’t know what happened the laptop, but EY charged the department almost quarter of a million to come up with an independent report on what happened and how it could be avoided in the future.

Brendan Bendar · 10-04-2019 9:39am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

There’s only one thing worse than a cold seat, and that’s a warm one.

Well, maybe a warm one with a sweat patch at the back with a few short and curlies dotted about for good measure.

Aaah the auld toilet fuse wire Emmett, I’d do a quick 180 if I saw those conditions.

Ush1 · 10-04-2019 9:42am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

It happened, Brendan - Department of Education I believe.

Secretary General was in a meeting with the Minister at the time, but was called out due to a ‘Code Red’.

The guy who had the accident was moved to another department by the end of the day - all very hush hush. Heard he now works in the Dept of Agriculture - something to do with measuring emissions and effluent runoff. So obviously at least one civil servant has a sense of humour.

Don’t know what happened the laptop, but EY charged the department almost quarter of a million to come up with an independent report on what happened and how it could be avoided in the future.

I heard PwC was also involved in the tendering for the report but in the end they didn't have the faecal expertise.

Ray Bloody Purchase · 10-04-2019 9:47am

We've only two traps in the jacks in work. It's a very, very quiet toilet. If someone else comes in and i'm mid evacuation, it causes my spinchter to shut up shop tighter than a gnats fanny.

Very inconvenient as there's unfinished business so to speak, which usually leads to a second visit on company time.

Thinking of getting my rusty bullethole some counselling to make it less socially awkward and be able to speak up in public.

JohnnyFlash · 10-04-2019 9:53am

Ray Bloody Purchase wrote: »

We've only two traps in the jacks in work. It's a very, very quiet toilet. If someone else comes in and i'm mid evacuation, it causes my spinchter to shut up shop tighter than a gnats fanny.

Very inconvenient as there's unfinished business so to speak, which usually leads to a second visit on company time.

Thinking of getting my rusty bullethole some counselling to make it less socially awkward and be able to speak up in public.

Sounds like you’ve a neurotic arsehole.

partyguinness · 10-04-2019 9:56am

So why have two cubicles in the first place?

Ray Bloody Purchase · 10-04-2019 9:56am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Sounds like you’ve a neurotic arsehole.

Just a bit bashful, not used to having to perform to an audience.

Most unsettling.

Aglomerado · 10-04-2019 9:57am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

It happened, Brendan - Department of Education I believe.

Secretary General was in a meeting with the Minister at the time, but was called out due to a ‘Code Red’.
.

Code brown, surely?
Some offices I've worked in should have had the harp symbol outside changed to a biohazard one.
It was a rare day when I could go to the toilet at work and not encounter a fetid log stewing in a bowl of oxtail soup, a miasma of clerical officers' lower colon or the sound of a flock of ducks emanating from behind a thin door.
Sometimes all three.
And in the midst of this, someone brushing their teeth at the sinks with the brush they had left permanently on a shelf in there....

EmmetSpiceland · 10-04-2019 9:57am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Sounds like you’ve a neurotic arsehole.

A shy bowel. Devastating affliction, I’ve heard. Whatever about getting state fright at a urinal you should always feel safe in the confines of a cubicle.

partyguinness · 10-04-2019 9:58am

I have to admire the OP's passionate description of the bowl movements. The bile was dripping off the screen. Love it.

JohnnyFlash · 10-04-2019 10:02am

Aglomerado wrote: »

Code brown, surely?
Some offices I've worked in should have had the harp symbol outside changed to a biohazard one.
It was a rare day when I could go to the toilet at work and not encounter a fetid log stewing in a bowl of oxtail soup, a miasma of clerical officers' lower colon or the sound of a flock of ducks emanating from behind a thin door.
Sometimes all three.
And in the midst of this, someone brushing their teeth at the sinks with the brush they had left permanently on a shelf in there....

There’s nothing wrong with a civil servant having a strong and enthusiastic bowel movement. It’s said that TK Whitaker would partake in one each morning before getting down to the business of trying to reform the country. And was once heard to announce after emerging from the executive shîtters, ‘Jesus lads, if I was a boxer then I’d just have dropped 3 weight divisions’.

jmayo · 10-04-2019 10:08am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Anways, it got to about half 10 and I felt my 'sheriff's badge' starting to twitch. Headed into the jacks and dropped a serious anchor into Brown Water Bay. I was sitting there afterwards on my phone when what do I hear but the jacks door opening, and someone heading into the stall beside mine. Down go the trousers, a slight groan, a string of watery farts, and then a noise that sounded like a box of old boots being thrown out of an attic. A smaller fart to finish up, and a deep exhalation of breath. :eek:

Ahh all is not lost in little old Ireland when any man can describe such a mundane occurrence as a visit to the toilet in such flowery prose.

One could say the imagery is simply dripping off the page or in this case the screen.

And here was me thinking it was only romance and the fairer sex that the OP covered in such detail.

Our past literary masters would be proud.

Keep up the good work.

Ray Bloody Purchase · 10-04-2019 10:08am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A shy bowel. Devastating affliction, I’ve heard. Whatever about getting state fright at a urinal you should always feel safe in the confines of a cubicle.

There's deafening silence in this jacks. It's not good when you hear the splash in stall two and possibly describe the occupants ejection on the Bristol Chart.

Also makes the post incident paperwork particularly noisy.

Would it be too much to ask an employer to play some background music, might help calm 'the nerves' all round?

jmayo · 10-04-2019 10:12am

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Was he Greek? You can’t put paper in the toilets over there. There’s a disgusting bin beside the toilet that you have to stuff them in.

A vile but necessary practice.

That's the case with a lot of jacks in **** hole countries with substandard sewage systems. I refuse to use them and throw the paper in the toilet. The toilets always absolutely reek. It's normally a hot country too which doesn't help matters.

Ehh I have seen better built toilets in Greece than around Ireland.
Oh and they aren't as many building failing fire safety checks over there either.
Although their solution is probably to lower the criteria.

I like Greece, lovely friendly people, very cash oriented, drive like proper drivers no pussy footing about, and no parking charges or parking wardens.

jmayo · 10-04-2019 10:20am

Ray Bloody Purchase wrote: »

There's deafening silence in this jacks. It's not good when you hear the splash in stall two and possibly describe the occupants ejection on the Bristol Chart.

Also makes the post incident paperwork particularly noisy.

Would it be too much to ask an employer to play some background music, might help calm 'the nerves' all round?

Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire" perhaps ?
Followed by "I Can't Get No Satisfaction", "Relax"
or maybe Screaming Jay Hawkins's "Constipation Blues" ?

JohnnyFlash · 10-04-2019 10:22am

jmayo wrote: »

Ehh I have seen better built toilets in Greece than around Ireland.
Oh and they aren't as many building failing fire safety checks over there either.
Although their solution is probably to lower the criteria.

I like Greece, lovely friendly people, very cash oriented, drive like proper drivers no pussy footing about, and no parking charges or parking wardens.

What has any of that to do with taking a shïte?

Ray Bloody Purchase · 10-04-2019 10:27am

jmayo wrote: »

Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire" perhaps ?
Followed by "I Can't Get No Satisfaction", "Relax"
or maybe Screaming Jay Hawkins's "Constipation Blues" ?

Don't be so crude. I'd much rather some orchestral movements, Beethoven Symphony no. 8 or Bruckner Symphony no. 7 for example.

For a spinchter of a more discerning disposition.

EmmetSpiceland · 10-04-2019 10:32am

Ray Bloody Purchase wrote: »

Don't be so crude. I'd much rather some orchestral movements, Beethoven Symphony no. 8 or Bruckner Symphony no. 7 for example.

For a spinchter of a more discerning disposition.

A stirring movement to assist with...well, stirring movements.

jmayo · 10-04-2019 10:33am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

What has any of that to do with taking a sh?

Ehh your mate Pintman had a pop at Greece and their toilets.
I am just standing up for the Greeks.

Great bunch as far as I am concerned.
Did you know they invented gayness ?

EmmetSpiceland · 10-04-2019 10:37am

jmayo wrote: »

Ehh I have seen better built toilets in Greece than around Ireland.

A highly dubious claim. The pipe system in Greece is ancient and can’t handle bog roll.

Even in the remotest parts of Ireland you’d be met with a toilet that won’t get blocked. It may have newspaper cut into squares hanging from a nail in the wall and require a small shovel of sawdust followed by a shovel of ash but you won’t be met with water spilling over the top or a bin full of ****ty tissue.

Ray Bloody Purchase · 10-04-2019 10:38am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A stirring movement to assist with...well, stirring movements.

Ride of the Valkyries would be apt to soundtrack a particularly 'epic' movement subsequent to a large volume intake of the nefarious black liquid originating from St. James Gate, Dublin 8.

Ush1 · 10-04-2019 10:40am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A shy bowel. Devastating affliction, I’ve heard. Whatever about getting state fright at a urinal you should always feel safe in the confines of a cubicle.

Also known as PAS(Puckered Anus Syndrome).

partyguinness · 10-04-2019 10:44am

I work in a small office of 7 people. 5 women and myself and my male business partner.

Now the men's toilet is upstairs by the kitchenette and there is a stud partition wall dividing the men's and the lady who works in accounts.

So it is just not possible to have a nice relaxing dump when she is a mere 2 feet away on the other side of the wall.

As she starts work at 10 either I do it then or else it is off over to Tesco for 15-20 minutes. Plus I alwayt have to flush at least 2 which is embarrassing.

TomasMacR · 10-04-2019 10:53am

partyguinness wrote: »

I work in a small office of 7 people. 5 women and myself and my male business partner.

Now the men's toilet is upstairs by the kitchenette and there is a stud partition wall dividing the men's and the lady who works in accounts.

So it is just not possible to have a nice relaxing dump when she is a mere 2 feet away on the other side of the wall.

As she starts work at 10 either I do it then or else it is off over to Tesco for 15-20 minutes. Plus I alwayt have to flush at least 2 which is embarrassing.

with a username like yours, it's probably for the best that you are heading over to tesco's.

...genuine question, is this civil service toileting priority given according to seniority a real thing or is it some kind of urban myth? and if so, is there actual provision made for this where it is explicitly written in some kind of office rule or is just the usual hierarchical nonsense that still exists in the civil service to a large extent and thus just etiquette that you'd step aside for your senior?

Hector Savage · 10-04-2019 11:00am

Can I ask what's the story with jacks in civil service offices ?
Why have they such a rep. for awful scutter ?

Are the jacks in Google sweet scented perfumed heavens that are always empty ?

topper75 · 10-04-2019 11:02am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I’m not going to fire him - it just crossed my mind for a second. He’s a good worker and doesn’t drink as much as the other Eastern European’s I employ. I just think what he did was vile and unnecessary, and I can’t forget what I heard and smelled. He should have waited if he could at all. Might have a chat with him on Monday about it.

We weren't there now so all we have to go on is your reporting.
Are you saying your deposit wasn't so noxious by comparison? Your '**** didn't stink', so to speak?
Can't believe the 'pool didn't at least nab a third.

Hector Savage · 10-04-2019 11:06am

Speaking of sh1tes, we are lucky here , we have 2 toilets with 2 cubicles each - but they are properly sealed off rooms, no gaps on the floor and ceiling between them.

Just managed to block one actually, nothing a 2nd and 3rd flush didn't sort out, but it did leave a stench in there that would have knocked out a Bombay sewage worker.

ArrBee · 10-04-2019 11:08am

How are you meant to play battle****s if you won't allow the next stall to be used at the same time?

Pintman Paddy Losty · 10-04-2019 11:10am

TomasMacR wrote: »

with a username like yours, it's probably for the best that you are heading over to tesco's.

...genuine question, is this civil service toileting priority given according to seniority a real thing or is it some kind of urban myth? and if so, is there actual provision made for this where it is explicitly written in some kind of office rule or is just the usual hierarchical nonsense that still exists in the civil service to a large extent and thus just etiquette that you'd step aside for your senior?

It's still very much in practice in traditional departments like DFA, Department of Finance, Dept of Justice and Dept of Agriculture. Can't speak as to whether places like DPER and other newer departments have adopted the practice.

It's not written down anywhere explicitly however any time I've heard the issue raised people normally refer to Standing Orders relating to discipline which call on subordinates to defer to their superior officers and other general rules regarding interpersonal relations.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 10-04-2019 11:12am

Hector Savage wrote: »

Speaking of sh1tes, we are lucky here , we have 2 toilets with 2 cubicles each - but they are properly sealed off rooms, no gaps on the floor and ceiling between them.

Just managed to block one actually, nothing a 2nd and 3rd flush didn't sort out, but it did leave a stench in there that would have knocked out a Bombay sewage worker.

That's the way a toiled should be designed. Ceiling to floor walls with no gap under the door either. A properly installed Armitage Shanks with a sufficiently large cistern - preferably mounted high on the wall and with a pull chain flush. A black seat is an nice optional extra.

Brendan Bendar · 10-04-2019 11:13am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

A highly dubious claim. The pipe system in Greece is ancient and can’t handle bog roll.

Even in the remotest parts of Ireland you’d be met with a toilet that won’t get blocked. It may have newspaper cut into squares hanging from a nail in the wall and require a small shovel of sawdust followed by a shovel of ash but you won’t be met with water spilling over the top or a bin full of ****ty tissue.

I’m afraid it not only the Greeks have blockage issues Emmett.

On a recent visit to New York I stayed out on LI near MacArthur airport.

I was rooming with a very senior partner in the firm and after getting loads of rich food in me and drink on the way over was greatly relieved when my roommate says he’ll take a stroll around the area while I unpack.

I was holding a large load ‘on the clutch’and as soon as he left I dropped the kex and exploded into the pan.

Now as we all know in the States they go in for these huge amounts of water in the pan, your nutbag would be sometimes semi immersed.

Why the fcuk I don’t know, anyway cleaned up and flushed and to my horror all that happened was a bit well up of water and ,well ‘stewing beef’ and nothing moved!!

Tried again but same result only broke up the ‘matter’ in fact.

Anxious to get the issue resolved before the main man returned, I had to go to reception and report a problem in room 368.

They asked what, Plumbing,says,I ...erm...guest won’t leave!

Anyway to cut a long story short janitor type arrived and took a look and sucked in his teeth “That’s one real bad boy” he says but in fairness he got the load out and earned himself 20 bucks.

Point being that Ireland would be well up in the hierarchy when it comes to shyyters.

lawred2 · 10-04-2019 11:14am

The weekend lads in our office are nothing short of sub human... every single one of the the toilets will be blocked and have multiple turds just sitting there.. So some lad has come in - seen a blocked toilet with someone else's turd and has freely decided to sit down and add his own...

And so on.

This is in the IFSC before someone thinks it's a warehouse...

It's a no go area on Monday mornings.

Aglomerado · 10-04-2019 11:15am

lawred2 wrote: »

The weekend lads in our office are nothing short of sub human... every single one of the the toilets will be blocked and have multiple turds just sitting there.. So some lad has come in - seen a blocked toilet with someone else's turd and has freely decided to sit down and add his own...

And so on.

This is in the IFSC before someone thinks it's a warehouse...

It's a no go area on Monday mornings.

Irish Faecal Supply Centre?

lawred2 · 10-04-2019 11:18am

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

I’m afraid it not only the Greeks have blockage issues Emmett.

On a recent visit to New York I stayed out on LI near MacArthur airport.

I was rooming with a very senior partner in the firm and after getting loads of rich food in me and drink on the way over was greatly relieved when my roommate says he’ll take a stroll around the area while I unpack.

I was holding a large load ‘on the clutch’and as soon as he left I dropped the kex and exploded into the pan.

Now as we all know in the States they go in for these huge amounts of water in the pan, your nutbag would be sometimes semi immersed.

Why the fcuk I don’t know, anyway cleaned up and flushed and to my horror all that happened was a bit well up of water and ,well ‘stewing beef’ and nothing moved!!

Tried again but same result only broke up the ‘matter’ in fact.

Anxious to get the issue resolved before the main man returned, I had to go to reception and report a problem in room 368.

They asked what, Plumbing,says,I ...erm...guest won’t leave!

Anyway to cut a long story short janitor type arrived and took a look and sucked in his teeth “That’s one real bad boy” he says but in fairness he got the load out and earned himself 20 bucks.

Point being that Ireland would be well up in the hierarchy when it comes to shyyters.

What I found worse in the states when working over there was the stall walls that barely came down to knee level...

You could be sitting in one stall and pretty much everything from the knee down was on show.. I hated it.

partyguinness · 10-04-2019 11:20am

I remember an incident on holiday 20 years in Mexico. Myself and buddy went on a lad's break at short notice and shared a hotel room between us.

Anyway, one morning I had to drop anchor in the en suite and flushed but to my absolute horror the water and contents starting rising and overflowed on to the floor.

My buddy was still fast asleep in his bed. To my eternal shame I legged it out the door down to the pool- I could hear the cleaning staff out in the corridor.

An hour or so later my buddy appeared at the poolside asking what the fcuk had I done. Basically he let in the cleaning lady and went back to bed. She came out of the bathroom screaming and ranting at him in Spanish and he could not make any sense of what the problem was...until she made him come over and look at the mess on the floor. Obviously he had to stand there and take the blame. He took it well actually.

The horror of watching it slowly rising still brings the sweats on.

topper75 · 10-04-2019 11:20am

Ah the old bangers and mash.

A cumulative problem.

What's the etiquette here??

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