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What's the etiquette here??

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,565 ✭✭✭K.Flyer


    When the sluice gates are about to open and someone is hogging the bog...

    3FQ3s.gif


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,807 ✭✭✭Jurgen Klopp


    _Kaiser_ wrote: »
    The funniest thing about this thread is that people are taking the OP seriously. Have ye never "met" him before here?

    Well played OP.

    Not half as good as the women and white knights who believe and get offended over his sexcapde stories :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    He should have waited. There’s two of you there and one of goes into the toilet, you know there’s only one other stall.

    Of course, you can start in once you hear the flush but you still shouldn't unleash that level of brown thunder until you hear the hand dryer blast or the main door close.


    You get it, Emmet. If there’s two people working together and one goes for a shīt then the other lad should wait until the first lad is finished.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,630 ✭✭✭Woke Hogan


    When my daughter was a teenager her best friend used to hog the bathroom for ages every time she came over for dinner. I risked being accused of perversion by listening in on her using the toilet to overhear her throwing up, “purging” after her meals.

    Naturally I called her parents with my concerns and had a chat with my daughter and the pair of them went to counselling over the matter. Now neither of them never stop eating!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 262 ✭✭TomasMacR


    Woke Hogan wrote: »
    When my daughter was a teenager her best friend used to hog the bathroom for ages every time she came over for dinner. I risked being accused of perversion by listening in on her using the toilet to overhear her throwing up, “purging” after her meals.

    Naturally I called her parents with my concerns and had a chat with my daughter and the pair of them went to counselling over the matter. Now neither of them never stop eating!

    :confused: what’s this got to do with whether two people that know one another should be taking a dump next to one another simultaneously?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    I wouldn't mind as long as the toilet paper was top quality... 3 ply, just fluffy enough, royal emblem, added aloe vera etc.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,630 ✭✭✭Woke Hogan


    TomasMacR wrote: »
    :confused: what’s this got to do with whether two people that know one another should be taking a dump next to one another simultaneously?

    Is the bulemic recovered girl now a fatty?

    Both are toilet related.

    My daughter’s friend is overweight yes, like my daughter. Obviously I am in no position to comment on my daughter’s friend’s weight because we are not related and due to her history of eating disorders but neither of those apply to my daughter.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    I wouldn't mind as long as the toilet paper was top quality... 3 ply, just fluffy enough, royal emblem, added aloe vera etc.

    I never skimp when buying art degrees. Always 4-ply and always with added aloe Vera. It’s like skimping on tea - a false economy.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    ToddyDoody wrote: »
    I wouldn't mind as long as the toilet paper was top quality... 3 ply, just fluffy enough, royal emblem, added aloe vera etc.

    I never skimp when buying art degrees. Always 4-ply and always with added aloe Vera. It’s like skimping on tea - a false economy.

    I'm told its actually a very challenging course... if you're stoned most of the time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Sorry about that


    Johnny Flash is the funniest fuc, man I've never met. No wonder he's so successful with the buers.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 12,925 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    I never skimp when buying art degrees. Always 4-ply and always with added aloe Vera. It’s like skimping on tea - a false economy.

    It might feel nice on yer backside but enjoy unblocking your choked sewage system.

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,362 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    It might feel nice on yer backside but enjoy unblocking your choked sewage system.

    I agree. Anything over two ply or quilted is just indulgent and wasteful.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    I agree. Anything over two ply or quilted is just indulgent and wasteful.

    False economy as I said yesterday, Emmet. 3 sheets of 4 ply is usually sufficient for a second, third and forth pass - you can use up a roll of 2-ply if there’s a lot of ‘paperwork’ required.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭upinsmoke


    In the male jacks in work a foreigner always put his ****ty toilet paper into the bin. Everyone knew who it was and the cleaners went mental with HR and said there is nothing we can do about it.

    Cleaner ended up removing the bin alltogether and HR eventually got a hand dryer in.
    I'd say your man eventually flushed it or put it into a zip lock in his backpack.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,362 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    upinsmoke wrote: »
    In the male jacks in work a foreigner always put his ****ty toilet paper into the bin. Everyone knew who it was and the cleaners went mental with HR and said there is nothing we can do about it.

    Cleaner ended up removing the bin alltogether and HR eventually got a hand dryer in.

    Was he Greek? You can’t put paper in the toilets over there. There’s a disgusting bin beside the toilet that you have to stuff them in.

    A vile but necessary practice.

    The tide is turning…



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Where are you from yourself? Where I'm from (Ireland), giving a vivid description of a person's bowel movement would not be considered culturally normal.

    This. And in almost every one of his posts on this website too. It's his predictable, creatively challenged trademark for at least ten years now eh, fluttering, around here. There's even a word for his obsession: scatalogical


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,913 ✭✭✭Pintman Paddy Losty


    Was he Greek? You can’t put paper in the toilets over there. There’s a disgusting bin beside the toilet that you have to stuff them in.

    A vile but necessary practice.

    That's the case with a lot of jacks in **** hole countries with substandard sewage systems. I refuse to use them and throw the paper in the toilet. The toilets always absolutely reek. It's normally a hot country too which doesn't help matters.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭upinsmoke


    Was he Greek? You can’t put paper in the toilets over there. There’s a disgusting bin beside the toilet that you have to stuff them in.

    A vile but necessary practice.

    I think he was Morrocon, it was a small paper bin as well for the hand drying paper. like a mesh waste paper basket.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,362 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    upinsmoke wrote: »
    I think he was Morrocon, it was a small paper bin as well for the hand drying paper. like a mesh waste paper basket.

    That’s just disgusting. Perhaps it was new to him? I’ve heard they favour the left hand in the desert states.

    The tide is turning…



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 201 ✭✭upinsmoke


    That’s just disgusting. Perhaps it was new to him? I’ve heard they favour the left hand in the desert states.

    Must have been, it only happened after he joined.

    I think HR were too scared to say anything to him for fear of been sued. You can't prove it.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Was he Greek? You can’t put paper in the toilets over there. There’s a disgusting bin beside the toilet that you have to stuff them in.

    A vile but necessary practice.

    You ever in Italy? The shïtters over there have a ledge at the back of them where the log rests until you flush it away. Bizarre and grotesque.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,362 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    You ever in Italy? The shïtters over there have a ledge at the back of them where the log rests until you flush it away. Bizarre and grotesque.

    I have, Johnny. It’s the one, and possibly only, issue I’d have with Italy, outside of a sporting sense obviously.

    They have it in a number of European countries. It does nothing for the air quality in the bathroom. The water is there for a reason, people don’t appreciate how much smell the water holds in.

    Here’s a pro tip for you in future, put down some paper on the ledge before you take a seat. This means the feculence will slide into the water more easily after you flush and won’t leave any unsightly streaks. Some of the hotels don’t provide a brush in every bathroom.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 18,807 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    You ever in Italy? The shïtters over there have a ledge at the back of them where the log rests until you flush it away. Bizarre and grotesque.

    :eek:

    The log or the ****ters?


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,807 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    There was a rule in the civil service up until very recently, all grades below Executive officer would have to wait until higher grades (Principal Officers, Dept Secretarys etc.) had completed their business in a bathroom and left until they could enter, in case they overheard anything.

    Believe that was true.... lad working in, Finance...I think, was waiting for a free trap at the 1030 evacuation, when in rolls an Executive Officer and claims ‘privelege’.

    Lad says he blew out a load like a bolt of otters going off a riverbank, and left the pan like the Derby Co. goalmouth in the 1960s.

    Fcuking whack of stale salmon and peanuts was vile the lad said.

    Like a bears den after a winter hibernation.....fcuking rank.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,362 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Where are you from yourself? Where I'm from (Ireland), giving a vivid description of a person's bowel movement would not be considered culturally normal.

    You don’t get out much, do you? Get a group of lads together and inevitably the conversation will turn to toilets and what goes on within them.

    You get this on office, club or social nights out. Someone will always have some funny or gross story to share. Harmless fun.

    I should clarify, when I said “toilets and what goes on within them” I meant using them for their intended use, not anything sordid or unsavoury like “cottaging” or “glory holes”.

    The tide is turning…



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,759 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    Believe that was true.... lad working in, Finance...I think, was waiting for a free trap at the 1030 evacuation, when in rolls an Executive Officer and claims ‘privelege’.

    Lad says he blew out a load like a bolt of otters going off a riverbank, and left the pan like the Derby Co. goalmouth in the 1960s.

    Fcuking whack of stale salmon and peanuts was vile the lad said.

    Like a bears den after a winter hibernation.....fcuking rank.

    :D:D:D
    The hum in some government office bogs would make a grown man cry.
    I learnt quickly to use a different jacks on a different floor if I saw certain people leaving as I was entering. One such person had the surname King which I extrapolated out to King of the Stinging Minging Ring....


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,570 ✭✭✭Feisar


    upinsmoke wrote: »
    In the male jacks in work a foreigner always put his ****ty toilet paper into the bin. Everyone knew who it was and the cleaners went mental with HR and said there is nothing we can do about it.

    Cleaner ended up removing the bin alltogether and HR eventually got a hand dryer in.
    I'd say your man eventually flushed it or put it into a zip lock in his backpack.

    It's a thing in a lot of countries. When I was in Thailand there was always a bin as they don't flush the toilet paper.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,183 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    Classic stuff lads!!
    "Bolt of otters off a riverbank"

    :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,439 ✭✭✭tupenny


    Don't care

    Love it


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  • Registered Users Posts: 18,807 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Aglomerado wrote: »
    :D:D:D
    The hum in some government office bogs would make a grown man cry.
    I learnt quickly to use a different jacks on a different floor if I saw certain people leaving as I was entering. One such person had the surname King which I extrapolated out to King of the Stinging Minging Ring....

    The say that the 1030 evacuation in Government offices is somewhat akin to the great migration of wildebeest across the Serengeti.

    As the full breakfast begins to sink toward nethers, there is a discernible drift toward the various bogs where the banging of doors, the tinkle of released belts,the satisfied sighs of flesh hitting seats before the roar of a full gut being splattered hard onto the pewter.

    One poor lad who missed the 1030 ‘dump’ had to wait for a ‘slot’ around 1055.

    Had the laptop with him and a hefty load, well ‘overcooked’in the ‘oven’.

    Left the laptop half open at ‘procedures and privileges page’ on the seat but such was his haste to blow forgot it was there and fired ‘from the stoop position’ covering the device in a shower of hot loose midden.

    Could well be an urban myth but I’ve heard that ‘story’ doing the rounds.

    I heard that the laptop was unusable after the incident and was written off as ‘accidental contamination’

    Cannot verify that.


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