Comparing penises on the Luas

nachos · 11-02-2007 11:01pm #1

This afternoon on the Luas, I was witness to one of the worst things I've ever seen.

I got on the Luas at Connolly station around 2.30 this afternoon. When I was getting on, 3 scumbags got on too. A woman and 2 fellas, all of whom were pissed.

So they're doing their usual scumbag thing of drinking, shouting and being generally annoying when scumbag #1 asks woman scumbag who has the bigger penis between him and scumbag #2. They're arguing back and forth and it's getting quite heated and it looks like it might come to blows, so woman scumbag suggests they both "show yis have". They both think this is a fantastic idea so they both stand up in the luas, pull down their tracksuit bottoms and whip their lads out. Just to put some context on it, this was between busaras and abbey street as we were stopped for about 10 minutes in traffic in a fairly full tram. Also, I'm sitting opposite them so I heard everything. I saw nothing as I was looking out the window and staring as intently as I could on the road.

So back to this charming group of lads. So the two lads have their mickeys hanging out and woman scumbag (presiding as judge) declares scumbag #2 the winner. You'd think scumbag #1 would try to muster up some dignity and pull his cax back up. Oh no. He's not going to let this go without a fight. He starts protesting that the cold was affecting him badly. Also, when he's "on the horn" he's much bigger than #2 would ever be. Scumbag #2 says something along the lines of "prove it". So scumbag #1 does exactly that. To preserve what little modesty he had left, #1 goes off to the corner and has a bit of a **** to show his friends what he's like when he's "on the horn". While #1 heads off to the corner to pleasure himself on a tram, I take the opportunity to fight my way through the crowds and get to the other end of the train. As I tried to get out, there was definite "fapping" noises coming from the corner. I could hear the shrieks of delight from the front of the train as he arrived back to his good friends with an erection.

I couldn't believe people could be so disgusting and vulgar until today. Why would anyone think any of this was a good idea? Did none of them think, "wait a minute, this means I'll have to take my penis out in public on a tram?". Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?

Karoma · 11-02-2007 11:05pm

Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?

Cock-fight. O'Connell St...

Did you smile for the shot camera?

ExoduS 18.11 · 11-02-2007 11:07pm

Claps for making me laugh out loud there.. But yea alllllllot of strange wierdo's travel on public transport today. Like the old lad and his younger friend who decided to show me there finest porn on the back of the bus into town... greeeeeeaaattt!!!

11-02-2007 11:08pm

I've got a bigger penis than the lot of yis.

connundrum · 11-02-2007 11:09pm

More disgusting Luas antics

The_Minister · 11-02-2007 11:12pm

You could report them for public nudity......

Schlemm · 11-02-2007 11:12pm

''Fapping' noises'...hehe

What is it with people getting their lad out on public transport all the time?
It must happen every day.

Mossy Monk · 11-02-2007 11:14pm

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

shoot them

shoot them now

brianthebard · 11-02-2007 11:30pm

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

*any minute now, one of them will flash the camera*

Ok maybe its cause I'm going through a dry patch, but a couple of them aren't bad looking...and if you turn down the volume and turn up pj harvey its much more interesting....

_Kaiser_ · 11-02-2007 11:37pm

brianthebard wrote:

*any minute now, one of them will flash the camera*

Ok maybe its cause I'm going through a dry patch, but a couple of them aren't bad looking...and if you turn down the volume and turn up pj harvey its much more interesting....

I thought it was just me!

MontgomeryClift · 11-02-2007 11:40pm

€800 million well spent.

Lump · 11-02-2007 11:45pm

Did you ring the cops?

John

Karoma · 11-02-2007 11:50pm

They'd only accuse the OP of feeding them a cock and bull story.

So sorry.

connundrum · 11-02-2007 11:53pm

Karoma wrote:

So sorry.

/Sympathy chuckle

11-02-2007 11:54pm

Lump wrote:

Did you ring the cops?

John

I know they can't sing for sh1t, but thats a little harsh, aint it?

But seriously, if I saw that I'd just laugh and would walk away. And then call the cops.

11-02-2007 11:57pm

So who won in the end?

ixoy · 12-02-2007 12:51am

Hmm...I saw three drunks - two men and a woman - at the Jervis Street LUAS stop about 4PM. The men were shouting at each other... wonder if it was the same group of miscreants?

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

Beekay · 12-02-2007 1:01am

ixoy wrote:

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

I would have thought so....give him some material from the drivers "special" magazines maybe?

Photi · 12-02-2007 1:04am

ixoy wrote:

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

He could have given them a ruler.

arbeitsscheuer · 12-02-2007 1:08am

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

Yes, let's face it; that's a war crime.

He could have given them a ruler.

Quality.

admiralofthefleet · 12-02-2007 1:09am

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

phantom_lord · 12-02-2007 1:09am

lol, excellent story.

wba88 · 12-02-2007 1:17am

ixoy wrote:

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

Yeah he cud of whipped it out and put them both to shame:D

ah u wudnt say no to a few of them girls anyway

The_Minister · 12-02-2007 1:31am

admiralgar wrote:

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

phantom_lord wrote:

lol, excellent story.

Not really.

Judt · 12-02-2007 1:35am

Sweet feck all the Luas driver can do bar maybe call the cops, at which point they've got to take statements and the whole show is held up. Until they start causing physical trouble he might have to stop - same as most of the time on the bus.

I recall passing a Luas waiting on Stephens Green one night, a chap out throwing up against the status board, his mates standing in the doorway. Driver looking back must have been thing "Ohh just perfect..." Funny thing is it was a weeknight... town during the week is full of people you know are going to have an even better time the following morning...

The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus.

Lovely...

12-02-2007 2:30am

admiralgar wrote:

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

**** sake thank's for mentioning that
really relevant:rolleyes:

tbh if I had of been there I would have roared with the laughter so the shame would make them behave ..then I prob would have been beat up or stared at!:)

Rabies · 12-02-2007 2:41am

admiralgar wrote:

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

Does she regret spending her money on you too?

Xavi6 · 12-02-2007 2:56am

Judt wrote:

The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus.

Lovely...

Ah the ol Dirty-9. I have to say it's one of the things I miss about home but it's nothing in comparison to the 39N. Now that's an experience of a lifetime.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-02-2007 3:38am

I would have had to whip my own fecking jocks down to sort out a ****ing argument like that. Show them what a real penis looks like.

Edit - is anyone else hearing Twink in the background...?

Shiminay · 12-02-2007 3:59am

The Luas can be a strange place alright. It's too easy for the scumbags to get on without having to pay. 39 is a strange one too, I've been on that when there's "hard men" sitting in the back, shouting and roaring and smoking and all the rest. If every other seat's taken (which it usually is), I'll make eye contact with one of them as I walk towards whatever empty seat's beside them and give a slight nod. They don't know what to make of it, they're not sure if you're one of them incognito or on probation or whatever it is they think. I never get problems from them.

Hobbes · 12-02-2007 5:42am

Rabies wrote:

Does she regret spending her money on you too?

Not to mention starting and stopping every 5 minutes to empty its load.

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 12-02-2007 9:03am

nachos wrote:

I couldn't believe people could be so disgusting and vulgar until today.

Really?!
I mean I'm disgusted and rofling, but I'm not especially surprised. 0_ó
You could have told me they were jizzing all over the passengers and I wouldn't have questioned it for a second.

Really, some people can be seriously foul.
Like this one time when I was 6 or 7 I went into a public toilet and there was shít wiped all over the floor, the cubicle doors, the walls, even some on the ceiling... with the amount of wall-to-wall shít, there must have been at least two of them at it.
We're talking hand-prints and finger-swipe marks here, I wonder did they even wash their hands afterwards or just wipe it on each others jackets.

I'd say I lost faith in humanity at a very young age... that people can be:
A) So incredibly disgusting

Have such little respect for the facilities provided for them
C) Have no respect for other people who use the facilities

nachos wrote:

Why would anyone think any of this was a good idea?

Exactly :eek:
How would you like to spend the weekend inside the mind of someone like this?
I'm stunned just trying to think of the series of thoughts that leads to someone pulling their todger out on public transport.
There aren't enough psychologists in the world.

Red Alert · 12-02-2007 9:56am

The LUAS is supposed to have live CCTV and the Red Cow control room can actually talk right through to the tram's PA system.

Did you not try using the driver communication button? It's on the right hand side of each door.

Wibbs · 12-02-2007 10:29am

Hobbes wrote:

Not to mention starting and stopping every 5 minutes to empty its load.

Muhahahhaahhahahha.:D

0ubliette · 12-02-2007 10:43am

Its disgusting, but not entirely shocking. F*cking winos in town put me off ever going into it. I remember one night coming home from bray, and my friends brother started pissing on the dart, i was so f*cking pissed off with him, i used to work on the dart, i know what its like to have to clean up crap like that. F*cking pissheads just have no respect for anything, but the size of thier microscopic penises apparrently

gazzer · 12-02-2007 12:32pm

The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus

Ah the good old 39.. I have the misfortune to get this to and from work every weekday ... and thats after getting the 38 (when it occasionally arrives) from Mulhuddart as far as the Navan Road.. Those 2 routes are full of scummers.. The things i have seen and heard over the years on those routes.. really would make you lose any hope for humanity..
Almost every day you will get some 'hard man' on his way to court boasting to his friends that he wont be getting sentanced cos he had a 'word' with his victim.

I think I am immune to the effects of hash from the amount of it that is smoked on those buses.

Terry · 12-02-2007 3:00pm

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

Oh dear lord.
I would not have liked to have been on that tram.

scojones · 12-02-2007 3:49pm

A mate of mine was on the bus from Limerick to Shannon, she was sitting in the window seat and an auld lad sat beside her. She was listening to her mp3 player and looking out the window, as you do. She noticed the lad sitting beside had an awful case of the shakes, he kept hitting off of her. She turned around to see what the story was, thinking he had bad arteritis or something, to see him with his lad out having a **** staring at her chest. When he saw her looking at him he blew his load all over the seat. She was so freaked, and disgusted she just jumped up onto her seat and literally jumped over him, ran up to the driver and got him to stop the bus. She got off the bus and puked up. Poor girl. Public transport can be a nightmare sometimes!

Keith C · 12-02-2007 3:50pm

Ive no sound card on work pc **shakes fist at boss** anyone care to give a drscription of what those girls are singing/saying??

Terry · 12-02-2007 4:24pm

screaming and babbling the words to some queen song.
Apparently it's also "definite flash box material".

Caliden · 12-02-2007 4:29pm

sjones wrote:

A mate of mine was on the bus from Limerick to Shannon, she was sitting in the window seat and an auld lad sat beside her. She was listening to her mp3 player and looking out the window, as you do. She noticed the lad sitting beside had an awful case of the shakes, he kept hitting off of her. She turned around to see what the story was, thinking he had bad arteritis or something, to see him with his lad out having a **** staring at her chest. When he saw her looking at him he blew his load all over the seat. She was so freaked, and disgusted she just jumped up onto her seat and literally jumped over him, ran up to the driver and got him to stop the bus. She got off the bus and puked up. Poor girl. Public transport can be a nightmare sometimes!

it must have been a savage rack

aidan_walsh · 12-02-2007 4:29pm

Terry wrote:

Apparently it's also "definite flash box material".

****in' Bebo...

Heyes · 12-02-2007 4:59pm

sjones wrote:

A mate of mine was on the bus from Limerick to Shannon, she was sitting in the window seat and an auld lad sat beside her. She was listening to her mp3 player and looking out the window, as you do. She noticed the lad sitting beside had an awful case of the shakes, he kept hitting off of her. She turned around to see what the story was, thinking he had bad arteritis or something, to see him with his lad out having a **** staring at her chest. When he saw her looking at him he blew his load all over the seat. She was so freaked, and disgusted she just jumped up onto her seat and literally jumped over him, ran up to the driver and got him to stop the bus. She got off the bus and puked up. Poor girl. Public transport can be a nightmare sometimes!

That is just pure nasty.... reminds me when i was walking home from school one day yeeeeeeears ago, and seeing some old guy at it. It does knock you for six, its not something you wana see.

Rb · 12-02-2007 6:53pm

All I'll say is, I've never witnessed such behaviour on the Green Line...

Gazza22 · 12-02-2007 7:09pm

The luas is a haven for weirdos....everyone that takes the luas daily would know that....

Anybody ever see the drunken mad guy who dresses up as a woman and declares he's a entertainer from the george, and sings? If you give him a weird look he tells you to "feck off wuud ye!" because he's only having a "bit of criac"...haha

Crucifix · 12-02-2007 7:24pm

Terry wrote:

screaming and babbling the words to some queen song.
Apparently it's also "definite flash box material".

Definite flashbang material tbh.

12-02-2007 10:33pm

sjones wrote:

A mate of mine was on the bus from Limerick to Shannon, she was sitting in the window seat and an auld lad sat beside her. She was listening to her mp3 player and looking out the window, as you do. She noticed the lad sitting beside had an awful case of the shakes, he kept hitting off of her. She turned around to see what the story was, thinking he had bad arteritis or something, to see him with his lad out having a **** staring at her chest. When he saw her looking at him he blew his load all over the seat. She was so freaked, and disgusted she just jumped up onto her seat and literally jumped over him, ran up to the driver and got him to stop the bus. She got off the bus and puked up. Poor girl. Public transport can be a nightmare sometimes!

Pity she didn't have a mousetrap to hand

dmeehan · 16-02-2007 11:54am

Red Alert wrote:

The LUAS is supposed to have live CCTV

it might end up on YouTube so

popebenny16 · 16-02-2007 12:15pm

dmeehan wrote:

it might end up on YouTube so

Already searched, not there yet.

And those girls.............. you would, though.

Haven't a Clue · 16-02-2007 5:07pm

It's on blogorrah already though:

Mod edit: Please do not link to that page again.
Anyone wishing to view the article can search blogorrah.

Caco · 16-02-2007 6:22pm

Gazza22 wrote:

Anybody ever see the drunken mad guy who dresses up as a woman and declares he's a entertainer from the george, and sings? If you give him a weird look he tells you to "feck off wuud ye!" because he's only having a "bit of criac"...haha

I think I saw that guy outside Rick's Burgers singin recently, he came in and started talkin to some people beside us about how he's an entertainer, how he hates Bush and how he had to go over to England because his friend Elton John was having trouble with his husband!

EDIT: ...he hates George Bush, not the other kind in case that's what ye were thinkin

Comparing penises on the Luas

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