Comparing penises on the Luas

nachos · 11-02-2007 11:01pm #1

This afternoon on the Luas, I was witness to one of the worst things I've ever seen.

I got on the Luas at Connolly station around 2.30 this afternoon. When I was getting on, 3 scumbags got on too. A woman and 2 fellas, all of whom were pissed.

So they're doing their usual scumbag thing of drinking, shouting and being generally annoying when scumbag #1 asks woman scumbag who has the bigger penis between him and scumbag #2. They're arguing back and forth and it's getting quite heated and it looks like it might come to blows, so woman scumbag suggests they both "show yis have". They both think this is a fantastic idea so they both stand up in the luas, pull down their tracksuit bottoms and whip their lads out. Just to put some context on it, this was between busaras and abbey street as we were stopped for about 10 minutes in traffic in a fairly full tram. Also, I'm sitting opposite them so I heard everything. I saw nothing as I was looking out the window and staring as intently as I could on the road.

So back to this charming group of lads. So the two lads have their mickeys hanging out and woman scumbag (presiding as judge) declares scumbag #2 the winner. You'd think scumbag #1 would try to muster up some dignity and pull his cax back up. Oh no. He's not going to let this go without a fight. He starts protesting that the cold was affecting him badly. Also, when he's "on the horn" he's much bigger than #2 would ever be. Scumbag #2 says something along the lines of "prove it". So scumbag #1 does exactly that. To preserve what little modesty he had left, #1 goes off to the corner and has a bit of a **** to show his friends what he's like when he's "on the horn". While #1 heads off to the corner to pleasure himself on a tram, I take the opportunity to fight my way through the crowds and get to the other end of the train. As I tried to get out, there was definite "fapping" noises coming from the corner. I could hear the shrieks of delight from the front of the train as he arrived back to his good friends with an erection.

I couldn't believe people could be so disgusting and vulgar until today. Why would anyone think any of this was a good idea? Did none of them think, "wait a minute, this means I'll have to take my penis out in public on a tram?". Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?

Karoma · 11-02-2007 11:05pm

Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?

Cock-fight. O'Connell St...

Did you smile for the shot camera?

ExoduS 18.11 · 11-02-2007 11:07pm

Claps for making me laugh out loud there.. But yea alllllllot of strange wierdo's travel on public transport today. Like the old lad and his younger friend who decided to show me there finest porn on the back of the bus into town... greeeeeeaaattt!!!

11-02-2007 11:08pm

I've got a bigger penis than the lot of yis.

connundrum · 11-02-2007 11:09pm

More disgusting Luas antics

The_Minister · 11-02-2007 11:12pm

You could report them for public nudity......

Schlemm · 11-02-2007 11:12pm

''Fapping' noises'...hehe

What is it with people getting their lad out on public transport all the time?
It must happen every day.

Mossy Monk · 11-02-2007 11:14pm

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

shoot them

shoot them now

brianthebard · 11-02-2007 11:30pm

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

*any minute now, one of them will flash the camera*

Ok maybe its cause I'm going through a dry patch, but a couple of them aren't bad looking...and if you turn down the volume and turn up pj harvey its much more interesting....

_Kaiser_ · 11-02-2007 11:37pm

brianthebard wrote:

*any minute now, one of them will flash the camera*

Ok maybe its cause I'm going through a dry patch, but a couple of them aren't bad looking...and if you turn down the volume and turn up pj harvey its much more interesting....

I thought it was just me!

MontgomeryClift · 11-02-2007 11:40pm

€800 million well spent.

Lump · 11-02-2007 11:45pm

Did you ring the cops?

John

Karoma · 11-02-2007 11:50pm

They'd only accuse the OP of feeding them a cock and bull story.

So sorry.

connundrum · 11-02-2007 11:53pm

Karoma wrote:

So sorry.

/Sympathy chuckle

11-02-2007 11:54pm

Lump wrote:

Did you ring the cops?

John

I know they can't sing for sh1t, but thats a little harsh, aint it?

But seriously, if I saw that I'd just laugh and would walk away. And then call the cops.

11-02-2007 11:57pm

So who won in the end?

ixoy · 12-02-2007 12:51am

Hmm...I saw three drunks - two men and a woman - at the Jervis Street LUAS stop about 4PM. The men were shouting at each other... wonder if it was the same group of miscreants?

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

Beekay · 12-02-2007 1:01am

ixoy wrote:

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

I would have thought so....give him some material from the drivers "special" magazines maybe?

Photi · 12-02-2007 1:04am

ixoy wrote:

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

He could have given them a ruler.

arbeitsscheuer · 12-02-2007 1:08am

connundrum wrote:

More disgusting Luas antics

Yes, let's face it; that's a war crime.

He could have given them a ruler.

Quality.

admiralofthefleet · 12-02-2007 1:09am

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

phantom_lord · 12-02-2007 1:09am

lol, excellent story.

wba88 · 12-02-2007 1:17am

ixoy wrote:

Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

Yeah he cud of whipped it out and put them both to shame:D

ah u wudnt say no to a few of them girls anyway

The_Minister · 12-02-2007 1:31am

admiralgar wrote:

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

phantom_lord wrote:

lol, excellent story.

Not really.

Judt · 12-02-2007 1:35am

Sweet feck all the Luas driver can do bar maybe call the cops, at which point they've got to take statements and the whole show is held up. Until they start causing physical trouble he might have to stop - same as most of the time on the bus.

I recall passing a Luas waiting on Stephens Green one night, a chap out throwing up against the status board, his mates standing in the doorway. Driver looking back must have been thing "Ohh just perfect..." Funny thing is it was a weeknight... town during the week is full of people you know are going to have an even better time the following morning...

The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus.

Lovely...

12-02-2007 2:30am

admiralgar wrote:

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

**** sake thank's for mentioning that
really relevant:rolleyes:

tbh if I had of been there I would have roared with the laughter so the shame would make them behave ..then I prob would have been beat up or stared at!:)

Rabies · 12-02-2007 2:41am

admiralgar wrote:

im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!

Does she regret spending her money on you too?

Xavi6 · 12-02-2007 2:56am

Judt wrote:

The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus.

Lovely...

Ah the ol Dirty-9. I have to say it's one of the things I miss about home but it's nothing in comparison to the 39N. Now that's an experience of a lifetime.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-02-2007 3:38am

I would have had to whip my own fecking jocks down to sort out a ****ing argument like that. Show them what a real penis looks like.

Edit - is anyone else hearing Twink in the background...?

Shiminay · 12-02-2007 3:59am

The Luas can be a strange place alright. It's too easy for the scumbags to get on without having to pay. 39 is a strange one too, I've been on that when there's "hard men" sitting in the back, shouting and roaring and smoking and all the rest. If every other seat's taken (which it usually is), I'll make eye contact with one of them as I walk towards whatever empty seat's beside them and give a slight nod. They don't know what to make of it, they're not sure if you're one of them incognito or on probation or whatever it is they think. I never get problems from them.

Hobbes · 12-02-2007 5:42am

Rabies wrote:

Does she regret spending her money on you too?

Not to mention starting and stopping every 5 minutes to empty its load.

Comparing penises on the Luas

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