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Comparing penises on the Luas

  • 11-02-2007 10:01pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 398 ✭✭ nachos


    This afternoon on the Luas, I was witness to one of the worst things I've ever seen.

    I got on the Luas at Connolly station around 2.30 this afternoon. When I was getting on, 3 scumbags got on too. A woman and 2 fellas, all of whom were pissed.

    So they're doing their usual scumbag thing of drinking, shouting and being generally annoying when scumbag #1 asks woman scumbag who has the bigger penis between him and scumbag #2. They're arguing back and forth and it's getting quite heated and it looks like it might come to blows, so woman scumbag suggests they both "show yis have". They both think this is a fantastic idea so they both stand up in the luas, pull down their tracksuit bottoms and whip their lads out. Just to put some context on it, this was between busaras and abbey street as we were stopped for about 10 minutes in traffic in a fairly full tram. Also, I'm sitting opposite them so I heard everything. I saw nothing as I was looking out the window and staring as intently as I could on the road.

    So back to this charming group of lads. So the two lads have their mickeys hanging out and woman scumbag (presiding as judge) declares scumbag #2 the winner. You'd think scumbag #1 would try to muster up some dignity and pull his cax back up. Oh no. He's not going to let this go without a fight. He starts protesting that the cold was affecting him badly. Also, when he's "on the horn" he's much bigger than #2 would ever be. Scumbag #2 says something along the lines of "prove it". So scumbag #1 does exactly that. To preserve what little modesty he had left, #1 goes off to the corner and has a bit of a **** to show his friends what he's like when he's "on the horn". While #1 heads off to the corner to pleasure himself on a tram, I take the opportunity to fight my way through the crowds and get to the other end of the train. As I tried to get out, there was definite "fapping" noises coming from the corner. I could hear the shrieks of delight from the front of the train as he arrived back to his good friends with an erection.

    I couldn't believe people could be so disgusting and vulgar until today. Why would anyone think any of this was a good idea? Did none of them think, "wait a minute, this means I'll have to take my penis out in public on a tram?". Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?
    Tagged:


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 19,590 ✭✭✭✭ Karoma


    Anyone seen anything as disgusting as this on public transport or elsewhere?
    Cock-fight. O'Connell St...


    Did you smile for the shot camera? :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 450 ✭✭ ExoduS 18.11


    Claps for making me laugh out loud there.. But yea alllllllot of strange wierdo's travel on public transport today. Like the old lad and his younger friend who decided to show me there finest porn on the back of the bus into town... greeeeeeaaattt!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,961 ✭✭✭✭ boneyarsebogman


    I've got a bigger penis than the lot of yis.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,568 ✭✭✭ connundrum




  • Registered Users Posts: 10,425 ✭✭✭✭ The_Minister


    You could report them for public nudity......


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 799 Schlemm


    ''Fapping' noises'...hehe

    What is it with people getting their lad out on public transport all the time?
    It must happen every day.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28,173 ✭✭✭✭ Mossy Monk


    connundrum wrote:

    shoot them

    shoot them now


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,170 ✭✭✭✭ brianthebard


    connundrum wrote:


    *any minute now, one of them will flash the camera*

    Ok maybe its cause I'm going through a dry patch, but a couple of them aren't bad looking...and if you turn down the volume and turn up pj harvey its much more interesting....


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,297 ✭✭✭✭ _Kaiser_


    *any minute now, one of them will flash the camera*

    Ok maybe its cause I'm going through a dry patch, but a couple of them aren't bad looking...and if you turn down the volume and turn up pj harvey its much more interesting....
    I thought it was just me! :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,045 ✭✭✭ MontgomeryClift


    €800 million well spent.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,987 ✭✭✭✭ Lump


    Did you ring the cops?

    John


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,590 ✭✭✭✭ Karoma


    They'd only accuse the OP of feeding them a cock and bull story.









    So sorry.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,568 ✭✭✭ connundrum


    Karoma wrote:
    So sorry.

    /Sympathy chuckle :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,961 ✭✭✭✭ boneyarsebogman


    Lump wrote:
    Did you ring the cops?

    John

    I know they can't sing for sh1t, but thats a little harsh, aint it?

    But seriously, if I saw that I'd just laugh and would walk away. And then call the cops.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,787 ✭✭✭✭ Dónal


    So who won in the end?


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 17,840 Mod ✭✭✭✭ ixoy


    Hmm...I saw three drunks - two men and a woman - at the Jervis Street LUAS stop about 4PM. The men were shouting at each other... wonder if it was the same group of miscreants?

    Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,854 ✭✭✭ Beekay


    ixoy wrote:
    Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

    I would have thought so....give him some material from the drivers "special" magazines maybe?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 669 Photi


    ixoy wrote:

    Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?

    He could have given them a ruler.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,391 arbeitsscheuer


    connundrum wrote:
    Yes, let's face it; that's a war crime.
    He could have given them a ruler.
    Quality.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,136 ✭✭✭✭ admiralofthefleet


    im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,928 ✭✭✭✭ phantom_lord


    lol, excellent story.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭ wba88


    ixoy wrote:
    Do you know if anyone contacted the driver btw? Surely he could do something?
    Yeah he cud of whipped it out and put them both to shame:D


    ah u wudnt say no to a few of them girls anyway


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,425 ✭✭✭✭ The_Minister


    admiralgar wrote:
    im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!
    lol, excellent story.
    Not really.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 594 Judt


    Sweet feck all the Luas driver can do bar maybe call the cops, at which point they've got to take statements and the whole show is held up. Until they start causing physical trouble he might have to stop - same as most of the time on the bus.

    I recall passing a Luas waiting on Stephens Green one night, a chap out throwing up against the status board, his mates standing in the doorway. Driver looking back must have been thing "Ohh just perfect..." Funny thing is it was a weeknight... town during the week is full of people you know are going to have an even better time the following morning...

    The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus.

    Lovely...


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,866 ✭✭✭ Coolsmileygirl


    admiralgar wrote:
    im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!
    **** sake thank's for mentioning that
    really relevant:rolleyes: :D

    tbh if I had of been there I would have roared with the laughter so the shame would make them behave ..then I prob would have been beat up or stared at!:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,764 ✭✭✭✭ Rabies


    admiralgar wrote:
    im nicknamed luas by my missus, not because im fast but because i take ages to come!
    Does she regret spending her money on you too?


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,877 ✭✭✭✭ Xavi6


    Judt wrote:
    The 39 bus is potentially one of the worst for all this crap, mind you. Up top at the back is, at various times, either annoying to downright dangerous. I once had a bunch of travelers get on and, among trying to break the rear window, shouting out things as loud as possible (including that they were travelers and proud...), and eventually threatening me (that's when I left...); one of them took a piss there on the bus.

    Lovely...

    Ah the ol Dirty-9. I have to say it's one of the things I miss about home but it's nothing in comparison to the 39N. Now that's an experience of a lifetime.


  • Registered Users Posts: 30,716 ✭✭✭✭ Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    I would have had to whip my own fecking jocks down to sort out a ****ing argument like that. Show them what a real penis looks like.

    Edit - is anyone else hearing Twink in the background...?

    Do NOT ask me how I define the terms "man", "woman", "male" or "female" when you reply to this post. You know the answer and it's probably irrelevant to the discussion :)



  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,654 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Shiminay


    The Luas can be a strange place alright. It's too easy for the scumbags to get on without having to pay. 39 is a strange one too, I've been on that when there's "hard men" sitting in the back, shouting and roaring and smoking and all the rest. If every other seat's taken (which it usually is), I'll make eye contact with one of them as I walk towards whatever empty seat's beside them and give a slight nod. They don't know what to make of it, they're not sure if you're one of them incognito or on probation or whatever it is they think. I never get problems from them.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 21,265 ✭✭✭✭ Hobbes


    Rabies wrote:
    Does she regret spending her money on you too?

    Not to mention starting and stopping every 5 minutes to empty its load.


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