Is it ever possible to separate your work life and personal life?

Wanderer2010 · 11-06-2016 05:07PM #1

The age-old advice about being professional in work usually includes not being too friendly with your fellow workers and to keep a line between work and your personal life but how often does this actually work in reality? I have worked in a few places now and, bar one high pressure office, everyone after a while started hanging out, adding each other on Facebook and generally sharing their lives, favorite tv shows, details about their partners etc, and anyone who doesn't do this, despite how good a worker he/she is, generally isn't popular.

Is it ever possible to keep your work and home life apart and not suffer consequences?

Alf Stewart. · 11-06-2016 05:09PM

I work from home op, so that puts me in a bit of a drama.

Sir Osis of Liver. · 11-06-2016 05:15PM

It's possible but I find it's only lifes oddballs can manage to do it.

Some good friends can be found in colleagues.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 11-06-2016 05:16PM

I always shared my personal life with workmates. We always then got on better, shared happy events and sad together. We all knew each others families etc. Never a problem, only a plus.

Speedwell · 11-06-2016 05:32PM

I work from home, for a friend in England who I knew for five or six years before we started working together. We made a conscious decision to keep work at work and home at home, but since we are a small company we are pretty close knit. I attended a conference a few weeks ago in London and stayed at his house nearby to save the cost of a hotel room, rental car, and such, and I met his wife and kids, got slobbered on by his dogs, and had a glass or two chatting with the adults after the kids went to bed.

My last job was with a large multinational oil tools engineering company. I belonged to a very close team of about nine people. We did care about each other and all, but there was not much scope for personal interaction given that the nine of us lived in six countries on four continents.

Mr_Muffin · 11-06-2016 05:36PM

Become the office mute. Only talk about work and work related topics. If someone asks you something personnel or asks you out for drinks just walk away without answering.

Permabear · 11-06-2016 05:42PM

This post has been deleted.

11-06-2016 06:11PM

I'm such good friends with my last boss/former professor that I'd consider him one of my best friends, and he knows my family so well that he and his wife holidayed with my parents without me, and I spent Christmas before last with them. He's still trying to marry me off to one of his nephews. I'm as close to him and his wife as ever since his retirement, and often look to him for guidance.

I get on very well with my current boss too, a big kindly bear of a man with a great sense of humour. We think similarly and rarely disagree on how to proceed with anything, he leaves me to my job but is always there for me when I need help or guidance. He knows all about me, has met most of my family and I his. I genuinely love the guy.

It's a very easygoing working environment, I can't imagine that being the case if there were barriers up.

BunkMoreland · 11-06-2016 06:18PM

I asked a girl from work for the ride last night. No verbal response.

Monday will be fun!

RDM_83 again · 11-06-2016 06:35PM

I don't think its a great idea to make it too seperate, I like the way my work is very sociable and we end up going for drinks regularly and made life long friends but there is something that annoys me.

People complain a lot about the gossipy nature of the job, thats fair enough but you know what is a pretty simple way to avoid gossip, fcuk people other than the small group of people in your company or the slightly larger but still small group of people in the same role.
It does my head in, in a city of 9 million people, if you actually dislike drama its not hard to find somebody outside the group of 50-100 people that you like, I mean there is 8,999,900 of them!

The King of Moo · 11-06-2016 06:37PM

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

The age-old advice about being professional in work usually includes not being too friendly with your fellow workers and to keep a line between work and your personal life but how often does this actually work in reality? I have worked in a few places now and, bar one high pressure office, everyone after a while started hanging out, adding each other on Facebook and generally sharing their lives, favorite tv shows, details about their partners etc, and anyone who doesn't do this, despite how good a worker he/she is, generally isn't popular.

Is it ever possible to keep your work and home life apart and not suffer consequences?

To: Wanderer2010

RE: work/life balance

Good question, keeping said apart would be a core competency. I'll spitball it in the bullpen, see if it moves the needle, then revert back to you.

Regards,

Moo.

11-06-2016 06:41PM

That's the kind of outside-the-box bluesky thinking this thread needs.

doireannod · 11-06-2016 06:47PM

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

The age-old advice about being professional in work usually includes not being too friendly with your fellow workers and to keep a line between work and your personal life but how often does this actually work in reality? I have worked in a few places now and, bar one high pressure office, everyone after a while started hanging out, adding each other on Facebook and generally sharing their lives, favorite tv shows, details about their partners etc, and anyone who doesn't do this, despite how good a worker he/she is, generally isn't popular.

Is it ever possible to keep your work and home life apart and not suffer consequences?

It's completely possible to keep your private life private if you're comfortable with not being popular.

suicide_circus · 11-06-2016 08:30PM

I keep it rigidly separate where i can

suicide_circus · 11-06-2016 08:34PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

To: Wanderer2010

RE: work/life balance

Good question, keeping said apart would be a core competency. I'll spitball it in the bullpen, see if it moves the needle, then revert back to you.

Regards,

Moo.

Reverting back meaning that you were him at some point in the past and that you will morph back into him like a ****ing shapeshifter

lawlolawl · 11-06-2016 08:35PM

I can't think of anything worse than spending time with coworkers outside of work.

Once I walk out the door at the end of my shift I don't think about the place or anyone in it until I come back in for my next shift.

**** telling them anything that is going on in my real life either.

Bubbaclaus · 11-06-2016 09:02PM

Most of my nights out and drunken antics involve work colleagues of all levels.

IamtheWalrus · 11-06-2016 09:08PM

lawlolawl wrote: »

I can't think of anything worse than spending time with coworkers outside of work.

Once I walk out the door at the end of my shift I don't think about the place or anyone in it until I come back in for my next shift.

**** telling them anything that is going on in my real life either.

That's probably telling you something.

I don't share much because I'm very shy and put up a serious, almost grumpy front to not let colleagues in. It's something I'm working on. My work day would be so much more mentally healthy if I was more open about me the person, not the workmate.

doireannod · 11-06-2016 11:35PM

lawlolawl wrote: »

I can't think of anything worse than spending time with coworkers outside of work.

Once I walk out the door at the end of my shift I don't think about the place or anyone in it until I come back in for my next shift.

**** telling them anything that is going on in my real life either.

I couldn't agree more. People know now that I don't do work nights out. My personal life is my priority. I go home on time everyday and forget that the place/people exist until the next morning. Work is for work. I also opt out of having lunch with colleagues. The small talk is excruciating.

The Sidewards Man · 11-06-2016 11:36PM

Don't ever work with your wife or husband, car crash.

jamesbere · 11-06-2016 11:38PM

Don't bring my work life home and don't bring my personal life to work. Find it alot easier

failinis · 11-06-2016 11:41PM

Tend to keep it separated as much as I can, but if personal life is effecting work, or visa versa I would talk to whom ever about what ever is relevant to keep things going smoothly.
Apart from that, different worlds.

Candy_Girl · 11-06-2016 11:46PM

Never mix the two...it's easy really.

wakka12 · 11-06-2016 11:47PM

Im sure its possible..but why is that a goal to be achieved..? Why not be friendly with co workers and treat them like friends? Once you get older and you're settled in your job you have much less time for old school/college friends. why not become close and hang out with the people you see every day nearly

The King of Moo · 11-06-2016 11:49PM

Do those of you who stop thinking about work as soon as you finish do so because you hate your jobs?

Fluffy Cat 88 · 11-06-2016 11:49PM

I keep it separate mostly. I'm friends on Facebook with a few of them, as I didn't like to rock the boat. I don't post there much anyway do no big deal.

I eat my lunch alone in my car. A lot of us do that, its good to get out even for just a few minutes and close the door on the world.

Its not the idle chat in the canteen that puts me off, more the passive-agressive b1tchiness from a few bitter old bags that just makes the day a bit more fcukin sad tbh.

I don't do work nights out, social stuff etc, no interest. I'm probably regarded as a loner and that suits me fine.

failinis · 11-06-2016 11:50PM

wakka12 wrote: »

Im sure its possible..but why is that a goal to be achieved..? Why not be friendly with co workers and treat them like friends? Once you get older and you're settled in your job you have much less time for old school/college friends. why not become close and hang out with the people you see every day nearly

Being separate with personal life/work does not mean you are unfriendly and a brick wall to co workers. I joke about with them and have a laugh but none are friends of mine, just good acquaintances.

wakka12 · 11-06-2016 11:53PM

failinis wrote: »

Being separate with personal life/work does not mean you are unfriendly and a brick wall to co workers. I joke about with them and have a laugh but none are friends of mine, just good acquaintances.

Fair enough, but why not consider them genuine friends though? like whats so bad about having work friends you actually want to hangout with and talk to? Not trying to change how you think or anything just curious to know why many people are against considering co workers as friends.

Fluffy Cat 88 · 11-06-2016 11:53PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

Do those of you who stop thinking about work as soon as you finish do so because you hate your jobs?

I don't think about work when I'm not there. Too much other stuff going on in my life. I don't hate my job but i wouldn't do it for free.

I think people who really hate their jobs think about it outside working hours more. I remember one girl in work telling me she doesn't like Sundays because she spends the whole day hating the thought of work on Mondays. Isn't that terrible

failinis · 11-06-2016 11:55PM

wakka12 wrote: »

Fair enough, but why not consider them genuine friends though? like whats so bad about having work friends you actually want to hangout with and talk to? Not trying to change how you think or anything just curious to know why many people are against considering co workers as friends.

I know I will be moving around a lot, so for me its just a case of not wanting to get too close when it is a short term thing.
If I get a job where I think it will be long term, I may be more open.

wakka12 · 11-06-2016 11:57PM

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

I don't think about work when I'm not there. Too much other stuff going on in my life. I don't hate my job but i wouldn't do it for free.

I think people who really hate their jobs think about it outside working hours more. I remember one girl in work telling me she doesn't like Sundays because she spends the whole day hating the thought of work on Mondays. Isn't that terrible

Hmm I never understood this. I know its hard to get jobs and all but honestly I just couldn't stay in a job I detested. If I hated it that much Id move to a min wage job that I didnt mind doing, even if it meant moving to a smaller house, worse area, less entertainment, less nice food clothes tv etc..I think doing a job you hate is a living nightmare, nothing could be worse for me, no matter how well paid it was.

Is it ever possible to separate your work life and personal life?

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