Ever shat yourself?

Chronicler · 16-05-2016 03:26PM #1

I have twice.

Once in my car and once in the privacy of my own home. Both times involved farts that brought a bit more to the party than I had originally envisaged.

While there's obviously not a good time to **** yourself, I feel that I got away quite lightly both times as there was nobody else to witness my shame.

Although these were very rare occurrences I sometime worry about what I'd do if it happened in work at an important meeting or at perhaps at some social function.

So AH, have you any amusing anecdotes that involve soiling yourself?

davo2001 · 16-05-2016 03:28PM

Chronicler wrote: »

I have twice.

Once in my car and once in the privacy of my own home. Both times involved farts that brought a bit more to the party than I had originally envisaged

Fool me once..................

retro:electro · 16-05-2016 03:28PM

Good old boards eh

Robsweezie · 16-05-2016 03:28PM

Brown.Wedding.

Timberrrrrrrr · 16-05-2016 03:29PM

Why would you even tell.people this?

Needy much? :rolleyes:

whiskeyman · 16-05-2016 03:29PM

Flutt lives!

Joshua J · 16-05-2016 03:30PM

I spent a good few years doing nothing but.

uck51js9zml2yt · 16-05-2016 03:31PM

What's a "shat" ?

Must be some culchie term I've never heard of;

harney · 16-05-2016 03:34PM

Chase Disgusting Skyscraper wrote: »

What's a "shat" ?

Must be some culchie term I've never heard of;

Google is your friend. Probably best not to do an image search.

B.A._Baracus · 16-05-2016 03:36PM

It's a disgusting topic people will rarely talk about for obvious reasons :pac:
But let's be honest everyone has at least once in their adult life. Be it from undercooked food and not being near a toilet or hey... this is Ireland we are talking about. Throw alcohol in the process and a lot of people most certainely have! :pac:

PandaPoo · 16-05-2016 03:42PM

I went for a jog once and shat myself. It might have happened twice actually. So that's why I don't run anymore.

16-05-2016 03:45PM

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

It's a disgusting topic people will rarely talk about for obvious reasons :pac:
But let's be honest everyone has at least once in their adult life. Be it from undercooked food and not being near a toilet or hey... this is Ireland we are talking about. Throw alcohol in the process and a lot of people most certainely have! :pac:

No, everyone has not. Not even close.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 16-05-2016 03:46PM

Candie wrote: »

No, everyone has not. Not even close.

What about whilst wearing a nappy?

Chronicler · 16-05-2016 03:47PM

Candie wrote: »

Not even close.

A moist fart?

endacl · 16-05-2016 03:48PM

Feck. I thought the 'do you shave your arse' thread was about as peurile as threads could go.

OP. If your old enough to drive, your far too old to be posting this rubbish. Also, too old to be crapping yourself, but that's for another discussion. With a professional.

valoren · 16-05-2016 03:48PM

Like having a golf ball in the back of your pants.

Duggy747 · 16-05-2016 03:49PM

Luckily, no.

Though I have seen some pure horror in public jacks from people I've presumed exploded, leaving only their boxers behind.

degrassinoel · 16-05-2016 03:49PM

I have, although having crohn's disease helped

Working in factory, was on the way to the toilet when it happened too, so yeah, worst possible place, middle of summer, sweltering heat, dose of the scutters, cleaned up as much as i could in the toilets, told the supervisor i had "an accident" he didnt understand and i had to explain in the same level of detail as i am here

the guy didnt like me anyway, but fair dues to him, he arranged a cab home.. needless to say i sat on my newspaper on the way.

It's an awful, rotten thing to happen, but like they say..
Shít Happens.

duchalla · 16-05-2016 03:50PM

Its called a shart. It starts out as a fart, you follow through and it become a sh!t....

TaosHum · 16-05-2016 03:50PM

PandaPoo wrote: »

I went for a jog once and shat myself. It might have happened twice actually. So that's why I don't run anymore.

Apt username :pac:

16-05-2016 03:50PM

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

What about whilst wearing a nappy?

I only wear nappies occasionally these days, special events and scary movies and suchlike. :P

Rothko · 16-05-2016 03:50PM

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

What about whilst wearing a nappy?

As an adult?

hairyprincess · 16-05-2016 03:51PM

Twice. Once because of food poisoning, I didn't know which end to put on the toilet. I was staying at a friends house to make matters worse but they were gone to work and I was on my own. Thankfully I had spare underwear with me.

The second time was caused by anxiety, I was running late for work because of traffic. Was at work for about 5 minutes when it happened. I had to stay for 2 hours until I could go home and get cleaned up. There was only one other person there though thankfully so it wasn't too awful. Still, not something I ever want to repeat.

I really don't think it's as common as one poster suggested. We don't all suffer from ibs or the like.

syngindub · 16-05-2016 03:53PM

Didn't Lineker sh*t himself in Italia 90 ?

Eircom_Sucks · 16-05-2016 03:59PM

syngindub wrote: »

Didn't Lineker sh*t himself in Italia 90 ?

he certainly did

MilesMorales1 · 16-05-2016 04:02PM

Oh yeah. Bloody awful. Last summer I wasn't feeling great, but I went out for a stroll in the evening just to get out the house, really wasn't feeling good at all, felt a fart coming on and farted, turned out to be a chronic ****. Lucky it was so late I hardly saw anyone and I don't think anyone clocked it.

Eircom_Sucks · 16-05-2016 04:04PM

stuck in traffic on the way home once in bits trying to hold it in , thought about pulling over and jumping into the foothold of passenger seat and ****ting in a bag , luckily the need subsided , got home and darted up the stairs and i was unloading while lowering my ass to toilet seat , lucky as hell

on way home from pub one halloween night pissed , just came on me and had to go behind iceland , nothing to clean myself so the walk home was horrible lol

16-05-2016 04:17PM

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

on way home from pub one halloween night pissed , just came on me and had to go behind iceland , nothing to clean myself so the walk home was horrible lol

Were you not wearing socks?

beach_walker · 16-05-2016 04:17PM

Got caught bad there a few years ago. Walked it home from the pub, not before having a kebab. As I entered the apartment building, I felt the urge and knew it was gonna be a close call so hurried up. Got to the front door but too much fumbling with the keys and well... I didn't make it

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

on way home from pub one halloween night pissed , just came on me and had to go behind iceland , nothing to clean myself so the walk home was horrible lol

Happened to me once (behind a Mace mind you), pro-tip: use your sock.

TerrorFirmer · 16-05-2016 04:18PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Luckily, no.

Though I have seen some pure horror in public jacks from people I've presumed exploded, leaving only their boxers behind.

Didn't you post that classic 'cubicle smeared in what looked like a 360 degree projectile poo' story? Will never forget that one. Still chuckle even thinking about it now.

beach_walker · 16-05-2016 04:22PM

I reckon p!ssing yourself is much more common tbh. What do ye think?

Ever shat yourself?

Comments