Good excuse for calling in sick

sally cinnamon89 · 14-05-2016 02:41PM #1

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

RayM · 14-05-2016 02:41PM

Diarrhoea.

Timberrrrrrrr · 14-05-2016 02:42PM

Cat died

Felix Jones is God · 14-05-2016 02:42PM

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

Explosive diarrhoea and puss seeping from every orifice

sally cinnamon89 · 14-05-2016 02:43PM

Ah lads.

Any ones that I could actually use ?

AnonoBoy · 14-05-2016 02:43PM

Loss of a limb.

When you return to work and they question you having all your limbs just say, "It was a metaphor man.... y'know.... for life." and walk away.

AnonoBoy · 14-05-2016 02:45PM

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Ah lads.

Any ones that I could actually use ?

Tell them you're sickened the new Stone Roses song is gack.

TitianGerm · 14-05-2016 02:46PM

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

Tell them your in bed with your sister. That's pretty sick

The Backwards Man · 14-05-2016 02:47PM

Sunstroke

moans3536 · 14-05-2016 02:48PM

If you are a woman, just say women's problems, and walk away .

RayM · 14-05-2016 02:48PM

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Ah lads.

Any ones that I could actually use ?

Seriously, diarrhoea is a good excuse. It's undignified and embarrassing, so they won't suspect that you're making it up.

The King of Moo · 14-05-2016 02:48PM

"Hello, I am sick."

Speedwell · 14-05-2016 02:49PM

I think you should seriously consider "diarrhoea". I'm not sure why you aren't. It's debilitating, communicable, disgusting, and quickly over (assuming you want to return to work in a day or two looking like nothing happened). If you just want a day, "sure it must have been that thing from the chip shop". If you want an extra couple of days, it's "food poisoning".

I work from home. There are no good excuses for me unless I am literally in the hospital or seeing the specialist two hours away.

14-05-2016 02:50PM

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

Antar Bolaeisk · 14-05-2016 02:52PM

Tell them you hit your head and, due to the concussion, can't remember where the office is. Make sure to scream "Who are you, why are you calling me" before promptly hanging up to maintain the ruse.

Fieldog wrote: »

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

Alternatively, if you're male tell your boss you broke your banjo string - If you boss is male he definitely won't want to know.

Panthro · 14-05-2016 02:52PM

Fieldog wrote: »

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

Guys can say "period pains" too.
And when the boss says "but you're a man?"
You simply wink at him and reply "why yes...yes I am...big boy..."
And walk away, sexy walk like.

Speedwell · 14-05-2016 02:54PM

Fieldog wrote: »

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

If your boss is female she'll tell you to get it seen about if it's so bad it makes you miss work. Women work all the time with periods and we know that if it's that debilitating, something is wrong that can usually be fixed. I had a co-worker come to work with severe fibroids, poor chica. Not a good excuse.

Fr_Dougal · 14-05-2016 03:32PM

Cat died of woman problems after a bout of diarrhoea.

14-05-2016 03:35PM

There was a small crash outside and I had to stay as a witness.. Then a couple of months later, ya can take another day for the court date.

Alf Stewart. · 14-05-2016 03:35PM

Just tell the boss you got a bloody good hiding in Rathcoole last night, cos the locals took exception to where you were livin.

ShiddyArze · 14-05-2016 03:48PM

Cousin or friend passed away, you could get 2 days out of that

dan1895 · 14-05-2016 03:52PM

Say your taking industrial action for a 53% pay rise. When they tell you to get back to work accuse them of being provocative.

Keane2baMused · 14-05-2016 03:56PM

Severe food poisoning and it's coming from all ends. It's going to last between 24 and 48 hours I've been told.

StupidLikeAFox · 14-05-2016 04:19PM

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Severe food poisoning and it's coming from all ends. It's going to last between 24 and 48 hours I've been told.

...or until the fine weather is over

tritium · 14-05-2016 04:21PM

Women's problems

[/discussion]

BalcombeSt4 · 14-05-2016 04:22PM

Tell them your attending a Donald Trump rally.

Keane2baMused · 14-05-2016 04:24PM

Whatever it is OP make sure it lasts just long enough that you don't need a sick cert, but not too quick that it looks like a hangover!

finglashoop · 14-05-2016 05:00PM

Tell them your playing golf.

Badly Drunk Boy · 14-05-2016 05:47PM

Just say you have to deal with a family emergency. Go into as little or as much detail as you can manage.

Panthro · 14-05-2016 05:59PM

Say you need a day off and if they ask why you respond with "if you don't already know...then there's no point in me telling ya!"
That statement has been confusing the bejaysus out of men for centuries.

Panthro · 14-05-2016 06:00PM

Or else just say prostate exam.

Good excuse for calling in sick

Comments