Good excuse for calling in sick

sally cinnamon89

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

RayM

Diarrhoea.

Timberrrrrrrr

Cat died

Felix Jones is God

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

Explosive diarrhoea and puss seeping from every orifice

sally cinnamon89

Ah lads.

Any ones that I could actually use ?

AnonoBoy

Loss of a limb.

When you return to work and they question you having all your limbs just say, "It was a metaphor man.... y'know.... for life." and walk away.

AnonoBoy

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Ah lads.

Any ones that I could actually use ?

Tell them you're sickened the new Stone Roses song is gack.

TitianGerm

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

Tell them your in bed with your sister. That's pretty sick

The Backwards Man

Sunstroke

moans3536

If you are a woman, just say women's problems, and walk away .

RayM

sally cinnamon89 wrote: »

Ah lads.

Any ones that I could actually use ?

Seriously, diarrhoea is a good excuse. It's undignified and embarrassing, so they won't suspect that you're making it up.

The King of Moo

"Hello, I am sick."

Speedwell

I think you should seriously consider "diarrhoea". I'm not sure why you aren't. It's debilitating, communicable, disgusting, and quickly over (assuming you want to return to work in a day or two looking like nothing happened). If you just want a day, "sure it must have been that thing from the chip shop". If you want an extra couple of days, it's "food poisoning".

I work from home. There are no good excuses for me unless I am literally in the hospital or seeing the specialist two hours away.

Riesen_Meal

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

Antar Bolaeisk

Tell them you hit your head and, due to the concussion, can't remember where the office is. Make sure to scream "Who are you, why are you calling me" before promptly hanging up to maintain the ruse.

Fieldog wrote: »

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

Alternatively, if you're male tell your boss you broke your banjo string - If you boss is male he definitely won't want to know.

Panthro

Fieldog wrote: »

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

Guys can say "period pains" too.
And when the boss says "but you're a man?"
You simply wink at him and reply "why yes...yes I am...big boy..."
And walk away, sexy walk like.

Speedwell

Fieldog wrote: »

Period if your a woman - if your boss is male he won't want to know...

If your boss is female she'll tell you to get it seen about if it's so bad it makes you miss work. Women work all the time with periods and we know that if it's that debilitating, something is wrong that can usually be fixed. I had a co-worker come to work with severe fibroids, poor chica. Not a good excuse.

Fr_Dougal

Cat died of woman problems after a bout of diarrhoea.

There was a small crash outside and I had to stay as a witness.. Then a couple of months later, ya can take another day for the court date.

Alf Stewart.

Just tell the boss you got a bloody good hiding in Rathcoole last night, cos the locals took exception to where you were livin.

ShiddyArze

Cousin or friend passed away, you could get 2 days out of that

dan1895

Say your taking industrial action for a 53% pay rise. When they tell you to get back to work accuse them of being provocative.

Keane2baMused

Severe food poisoning and it's coming from all ends. It's going to last between 24 and 48 hours I've been told.

StupidLikeAFox

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Severe food poisoning and it's coming from all ends. It's going to last between 24 and 48 hours I've been told.

...or until the fine weather is over

tritium

Women's problems

[/discussion]

BalcombeSt4

Tell them your attending a Donald Trump rally.

Keane2baMused

Whatever it is OP make sure it lasts just long enough that you don't need a sick cert, but not too quick that it looks like a hangover!

finglashoop

Tell them your playing golf.

Badly Drunk Boy

Just say you have to deal with a family emergency. Go into as little or as much detail as you can manage.

Panthro

Say you need a day off and if they ask why you respond with "if you don't already know...then there's no point in me telling ya!"
That statement has been confusing the bejaysus out of men for centuries.

Panthro

Or else just say prostate exam.

jamesbere

Say you have to take time out to find yourself

suicide_circus

A severe case of Wanker's Elbow

spurious

Scabies. Always a winner.

Technocentral

sally cinnamon89 wrote:

Looking for a good excuse to use for calling in sick

Existentialist crisis always works for me.

Mr.Crinklewood

Say you thought you were a Lu*s driver.

The King of Moo

For god's sake, it's "you're!"

kidfromkibbly

For a usable excuse, you can say you are suffering a migraine. Migraines can be severe and require a good few hours of sleep to get rid of the nausea and pain, but you're back to normal the next day so no one can argue you're not suffering the after effects.

angeline

I have had migraines so bad that genuinely couldn't go to work. Severe pain that won't respond to painkillers along with nausea and vomiting. Can last in to the next day.

Panthro

The King of Moo wrote: »

For god's sake, it's "you're!"

Hoh!...Gramer yahtzee

Keane2baMused

angeline wrote: »

I have had migraines so bad that genuinely couldn't go to work. Severe pain that won't respond to painkillers along with nausea and vomiting. Can last in to the next day.

Or up to 72 hours with mine, vision goes in my right eye and all!

Fr_Dougal

The King of Moo wrote: »

For god's sake, it's "you're!"

About time someone said it.

Op, better off phoning you're boss, don't leave an email trail of you're lies.

Yourmama

Fr_Dougal wrote:

Op, better off phoning you're boss, don't leave an email trail of you're lies.

your!

Arghus

Another vote for Diarrhoea.

There's never any questions asked in that case: it's too embarrassing for everyone.

If all you want is a no questions asked sicky enababling complaint; it's the surefire winner every single time.

MEGA BRO WOLF 5000

AIDS.

dr.fuzzenstein

Yourmama wrote: »

your!

I think you're sarcasm detector might be broken...

Rakish Paddy

Rectal prolapse.

ToddyDoody

You could say 'I'm just not myself'.

Spanish Eyes

Norovirus is doing the rounds in the hospitals at present.

So you went to visit your granny in hospital and are contagious with Norovirus. Being a kind person you do not want to spread it all around work either.

Perfect.

dr.fuzzenstein

ToddyDoody wrote: »

You could say 'I'm just not myself'.

Better would be to get someone else to make that phonecall.

Capt'n Midnight

In the old days some civil servants would take unused sick days :mad: