Alan Partridge Superthread - Sponsored by Dettol

ronnie3585 · 06-05-2016 10:24AM

Now, who's this beautiful, blond man with a lovely voice?

It's Annie Lennox.

stoplooklisten · 06-05-2016 10:32AM

You're sacked! You are sacked, I'm sacking you. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. You've been sacked. You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. A-ha!

Mike Litoris · 06-05-2016 08:51PM

I've got your kids, Dan. I've got your kids!

Welsh Megaman · 06-05-2016 09:07PM

BMMachine · 07-05-2016 05:22AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xXT9yq84eQ

stoplooklisten · 07-05-2016 09:08PM

I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child.

Just passed his details on to the Social Services

Grayditch · 08-05-2016 05:11AM

Right it's sorted then, we'll visit your mother's grave then watch Dr. No... the underground base of an evil genius...

and then Dr No.

Realt Dearg Sec · 08-05-2016 09:11AM

Caller - "I'd like to go round Lego land with Sean Connery then afterwards go for a lovely lamb lunch in the centre of Windsor"

Alan - "Gotta say I don't think that's Connery's cup of tea, I think Sean would rather wander round the wildfowl park in Pepperstock with a bottle of Scotch"

Caller - "I don't agree, he'd go to Lego land, bye"

Jimbob1977 · 12-05-2016 11:18AM

Alan: Jill, whoa whoa. Jill… Jill! What are you doing!? For God’s sake, Jill, what are you doing!?

[The lights come back on to reveal Alan standing by the bed. Chocolate mousse is smeared all over the front of his dressing gown and his face.]

Alan: Jill, God’s sake!

[Jill also has chocolate mousse on her face.]

Jill: Well I just thought I’d pour chocolate mousse over you.

Alan: You’ve got it on the bedsheets, you’ve got it on my dressing gown, you’ve got it on the valance…

Jill: The what?

Alan: The skirt thing round the side of the bed.

Jill: I thought it’d be erotic.

Alan: Oh, Jill. Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented!

Jill: Come on, it’s only a bit of chocolate!

Alan: It may be chocolate to you, Jill, but to an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of… dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it’s not five-star but it’s certainly competitive.

MillField · 12-05-2016 12:01PM

stoplooklisten · 12-05-2016 12:47PM

[There is a knock on the door.]

Alan: Oh God.

[Alan goes to answer the door. It’s Michael.]

Michael: Is everything alright, Mr. Partridge? I heard a bit of commotion.

Alan: No, no it’s fine.

Michael: Oh, right. Erm, do you know you’ve got chocolate on your face?

Alan: Yeah, I’ve just been eating some mousse.

Michael: Right, right, fine.

[Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it.]

Michael: Aye, well, you’ve missed a bit.

Alan: I’ll deal with it later.

Michael: Right, hey, it reminds me of this time, you know, we’d camouflaged ourselves up ‘cause we were doing jungle exercises, right, out in Belize, but…

Alan: [Interrupting] Michael, can we talk about this in the morning?

Michael: Well, no, I won’t be on in the morning ‘cause I’m doin’ lates now, right, so I don’t come on until about two o’clock. So, you know…

Alan: Well, you know, ‘when de boot comes in’.

Michael: Oh.

Alan: Now, er, booger off.

Michael: Aye, OK. [Saluting] Message understood, sir!

Alan: Stand down, at ease… [irritated] you’re not in the army anymore.

groucho marx · 13-05-2016 07:53PM

You have minor womens whiplash

Grayditch · 17-05-2016 04:41PM

Any quote - GIF.
https://partridge.cloud/

Realt Dearg Sec · 17-05-2016 05:11PM

- Isn't that Thunderball?
-NO! STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!

18-05-2016 01:35PM

Grayditch wrote: »

Any quote - GIF.
https://partridge.cloud/

Sir Oxman · 01-06-2016 05:28PM

Alan Partridge's 'Scissored Isle' ***NEW PARTRIDGE STUFF***

Apparently this was on Sky Atlantic tucked away after Game of thrones lat Monday, never knew, going to catchup with it this evening.
Repeated on Sky Atlantic Friday 03/06 at 9pm

"Alan leaves behind his comfortable existence and heads to the north to ask whether, in this once united kingdom, a 'schasm' has formed between north and south."

Back of the net!

Sir Oxman · 01-06-2016 07:35PM

Scissored Isle - hilarious especially the warehouse gopro bit

messy tessy · 01-06-2016 08:12PM

Sir Oxman wrote: »

Scissored Isle - hilarious especially the warehouse gopro bit

And the Tesco bit -

As my shift on the tills wore on I realised something extraordinary - I was absolutely brilliant at scanning. The female side of my brain, long dormant, had somehow been re-triggered.

Mike Litoris · 01-06-2016 09:57PM

I'm half way through this. It is ****ing gold! The whole Tesco piece.

For me, this is the best thing he's done since the original 2 full seasons.

messy tessy · 01-06-2016 10:47PM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CvtHkSimFTI

You go careful there now my love

Sir Oxman · 01-06-2016 10:58PM

Mike Litoris wrote: »

I'm half way through this. It is ****ing gold! The whole Tesco piece.

For me, this is the best thing he's done since the original 2 full seasons.

That'll keep this thread going for a year

phonypony · 01-06-2016 11:02PM

This was fab! thanks to Rjd2 on the other thread for the heads up

Fred Swanson · 02-06-2016 01:08AM

This post has been deleted.

MillField · 02-06-2016 08:31AM

Where can it be watched?

Greyjoy · 02-06-2016 11:22AM

Overall I thought it was good but not great. However Alan's interview the morning after the party was absolute gold. I was crying with laughter so much that it started annoying Mrs Greyjoy in the next room.