Are your parents still together?

wokingvoter · 30-03-2016 12:37AM

happywithlife wrote: »

Unfortunately yes - 40 miserable years last summer. Me and my sister routinely offer my dad a place to stay should he ever grow a pair and leave the miserable hole of a marriage he has. But we know he never will. Depressing stuff really. It's such a stifling house to visit these days now all us children have fled the nest - horrible atmosphere :-(
Am so jealous when I see some of my friends relationships and their (wonderful) family dynamics

When you get into your 60s your afraid of making that big leap into the unknown. It's easier to sit in the misery but know that you have a roof over your heads and you don't want to impose on your adult kids and their families

pl4ichjgy17zwd · 30-03-2016 12:56AM

They never were (apart from the one, obvious, night). He refused to acknowledge paternity, she didn't push for it. Don't know him at all, but have a pretty nice relationship with my mom (now...not so much growing up/my teens). She never married anyone else or even had any kind of man in the house growing up or since.

My brother's father reemarried and it always confused me when I was young how he had three parents and I had one.

Stheno · 30-03-2016 01:01AM

Mine were until my dad died a few years ago

My mother still posts loving messages to him on facebook on his birthday and the anniversary of their death.

Think they were just shy of their 40th anniversary when he died.

Crumpets · 30-03-2016 01:03AM

Mine were 35 years married there last week

30-03-2016 02:02AM

They're 57 years married this year. Raised an army of children and now get visited by an even bigger army of grandchildren. They never drank (nor smoked) so it's only in adulthood that I realised how lucky we were not to have a parent with an alcohol problem. That's the real evil in so many families.

My Dad was always cool and my Mam the stressed one, which is understandable as she did all the housework/child rearing, and my Dad's income alone kept us all. Since we all left, they are like two little déagóirí going around the place, my Mam making corny jokes and giggling my Dad doing his big laugh. It's like that first love stuff. No stress anymore, except the worry that their time could be up anyday soon. Everytime one of my sibling's rings now I always think something has happened my Dad.

I wish it were possible to live in Dublin these days without both parents having to work outside the home. Most of us have lost that freedom to have something as fundamental as one parent staying at home to support the children.

Witchie · 30-03-2016 04:45AM

Mine are married 46 years and while there were some dodgy times where it looked like it could end, my dad would pull it back by making my mum laugh and she would forgive his almost bankrupting us all.

Dad had to work in America a lot in recent years and mum would spend some time out there but some here too. Dad came home for good a couple of weeks ago. While he was away he would ring her at least twice a day for a chat, never forgot to send a rose on valentines day and just made her feel so loved despite the distance.

They are an amazingly strong couple who have faced every horror that life has thrown at them (including me!) And battled through with love and respect for each other.

There is something so lovely about seeing them wrapped around each other on the sofa just chatting and laughing and I think their love for each other has made it difficult for me to find someone as I feel it will never be as wonderful as their relationship and I don't want less.

I am so glad my sons have grown up watching this magical couple so that they don't think all relationships are doomed to fail like mine and their dad's.

Stigura · 30-03-2016 05:15AM

Both long since dead.

The flying mouse · 30-03-2016 07:37AM

My father died ten years ago, but when here my mother and father were very happy couple together , they did a lot of things together ,went everywhere, had a laugh,I know my ma misses my da terrible and in her mind there still together...and she not doing to bad herself,swims daily and plays pitch n putt 4 times a week, not bad for a lady in her 80s..

enda1 · 30-03-2016 08:47AM

34 years married yesterday!

Calypso27 · 30-03-2016 08:54AM

My parents are 35 years married and they are still very much in love.

Shenshen · 30-03-2016 08:55AM

My parents split up 25 years ago. I was a teenager at the time, and the day my mother told me she was leaving my father was the happiest day of my life (until I got married myself, that is

).
I had to fight my father for child support for me and my brothers in court (due to some regulations within the German court system, I didn't have to pay for that. My mother would have to front the costs of lawyers and court sessions if she had started the proceedings herself). Haven't spoken to him in well over 2 decades now and hope I'll never again have to. One of my brothers still keeps some sort of contact, but more out of a sense of duty than anything else. None of us can stand him.

Alf Veedersane · 30-03-2016 08:57AM

They were 38 years married when Mam died. They had so many plans for enjoying their latter years and then cancer called.

They're the reason I knew it was possible to find someone and love them happily and completely for the rest of your life. They were lovely to see together.

My Dad's still heartbroken.

Ande1975 · 30-03-2016 09:40AM

Mine are married 51 years this year. All their kids (apart from me) have emigrated.
Mum continues to wait on Dad hand and foot but calls him a spoiled brat at the same time. They hold hands when out walking and when both got sick at different times, it made me wonder how they will manage without the other so I moved home for a while.

My mum is 75 and loves her GAA and Rugby and will scream profanities at the telly. My father doesn't and has a knack for making lots of noise during a tense game (he's like a toddler really). During a recent 6 nations, I was taken aback when I heard her say 'XXXXX will you ever shut your stupid gob, sit down and be quiet'. Cue fits of giggles from Dad.

I think they'll be fine:)

RhubarbCrumble · 30-03-2016 09:40AM

Yes, mine are still together, but the only people they're fooling is themselves. I'm not in contact with them anymore. Growing up I was physically, mentally and emotionally abused by both. A couple of years ago I tried to talk to them about it and all hell broke loose to put it mildly.
Anyway, I didn't realise it as a child, but looking at it now, it's obvious they don't have a good marriage and looking back, I think they took it out on me when I was small.
If they had separated I would probably have been a lot better off, but they're married forty years now so they'll stay together for the rest of their miserable lives. They'd never split up because they'd be too concerned (my mother especially) about "what would the neighbours say". It's all about keeping up appearances with them.

My partner's parents on the other hand married over fifty years and are still in love. They get on so well together, are always there for each other and always support each other. I honestly think in anything happened one of them, the other would pass away soon after as neither of them would cope without the other.

chakotha · 30-03-2016 09:53AM

Nope mine got married 42 years ago and split up 32 years ago.

spurious · 30-03-2016 09:55AM

Mine were married just short of fifty years when Dad died. She still misses him terribly.

turnikett1 · 30-03-2016 10:01AM

I wish. They're in their 50's now and alone. They're still best friends. I don't understand why they don't just suck it up and get back together!

MRnotlob606 · 30-03-2016 10:07AM

Sadly my mother left before I was born.

melissak · 30-03-2016 10:14AM

Yes. My mam bosses my dad around a bit but he would be lost without her and she without him. My mam had breast cancer last year and i have never seen my dad so scared. Mam was fine about it and she is usually the one fretting about health stuff. Shes fine now thank god.

beach_walker · 30-03-2016 10:18AM

37 years married and I really hope I can someday find the love that they share.

scdublin · 30-03-2016 10:21AM

Nope and thankfully so. They argued all the time when I was growing up and it definitely had a huge impact on me - still does. I begged them to separate from my younger teenage years up until the time they finally did when I was around 24/25. Still believe they should have done it sooner. It was awful growing up with arguments/tension on a daily basis and fully believing that's just what married life was like.

Eircom_Sucks · 30-03-2016 10:30AM

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

Sadly my mother left before I was born.

ehh

dads having kids now ?

GLaDOS · 30-03-2016 10:38AM

Nearly 40 years married, as happy as you can be after that amount of time as far as I can see.

Irishcrx · 30-03-2016 01:40PM

No , my parents were never married and seperated when I was 3. My mother was an alcoholic and my dad couldn't live with it. I ended living with my grandparents for most of my life until I was 17 and then moved out to start my own life.

I got back in touch with my Dad when I was 21 and just let the past go and started building a relationship with him , life is too short to keep hatred over thing's you can't change now. He's married now and has 4 other children, I see them most weeks and we all get on fine I've a 3 year old myself and he's treated like royalty by all of them , they love him and that's more important to me.

My mother finally quit the drink 2 years ago and I've been trying to form a better relationship with her , this was a bit harder as I resented her for not bringing me up and somewhat for my Dad leaving , however she had her demons to fight and has finally done it , all be it very late but she has and that's worth me trying as well.

All in all , I'm happy enough with how it all turned out like I said life is too short.

smash · 30-03-2016 01:45PM

I have a friend who's parents got separated in their 60's once all the kids had moved out and got married themselves. What a horrible experience to live with during your one and only life that you decided to pretend to be happy just for your kids. The kids would have been much happier had the parents split up and been happy themselves. Unfortunately in Ireland there are too many couples like this.

irish_dave_83 · 30-03-2016 02:20PM

Mine were married for 22 years, and split 12 years ago(technically still married actually). My Mam came out as a being gay, my dad didn't take it very well at the time and hit the bottle, he wasn't abusive or violent or anything just depressed a lot.
he gave up the drink about 4 years ago and has just recently met someone himself and is very happy. That said, he doesn't hate my Mam or anything and they are good friends now. they are always there for my kids and me so all worked out in the end. Needless to say we don't celebrate their wedding anniversary anymore.

Lollipops23 · 30-03-2016 02:25PM

Mine split when I was 4, after 7 years of marriage.

Both remarried and are extremely civil to each other, even exchanging xmas cards.

30-03-2016 02:30PM

Mine broke up when I was about 7. They were together for about 12 years but never got married. My Dad had an affair with a woman he worked with and that's why they split up. He is now married to this woman and has had 2 more kids with her. I don't really get on with his wife at all, never have done. We were all living in France when my parents were still together, so my Mother moved back to Ireland with my brother and myself. We moved back to France for a bit as they were going to try patch things up but it didn't work out. Very messy!

My Dad still lives in France now with his family. My brother and I had to go over for all the school holidays when we were kids, didn't really enjoy it. My Mother had a few partners but has been single now for years. She is happy out!

ofcork · 30-03-2016 05:07PM

Mine are 46 years married this week.

Maximus Alexander · 30-03-2016 05:12PM

They split up when I was 10 and then divorced. It was messy and 20 years on they still don't speak to one another. All the kids are still close to both of them though.

Are your parents still together?

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