It's the year 566BC

Nodin · 21-03-2016 06:33AM

Mint Aero wrote: »

You've landed back in time naked and empty handed. We'll done. Describe me how you would woo cavewomen or men into the sack with your modern day knowledge.

I'd draw 2 squares on a rock face and then do the joiny liney trick to make it into a 3d box or cube as it's known. Mind blown I bet.

Ye'd have to adjust to the smell offof them first.

pickarooney · 21-03-2016 06:39AM

Candie wrote: »

Egyptian civilization is 5,000 yrs old OP. What you're talking about is probably more likely to be in the range of 20,000 yrs ago.

If I landed on earth that long ago I'd be very busy 'inventing' tools and agricultural methods and using all the knowledge I've gained from watching Bear Grylls make parachutes out of fig leaves and suchlike.

So basically faff about for half an hour an then drink you own urine?

Nodin · 21-03-2016 07:01AM

pickarooney wrote: »

So basically faff about for half an hour an then drink you own urine?

....don't forget the slide down the side of a hill. Vital stuff.

stoplooklisten · 21-03-2016 11:57AM

New Discovery Pushes Back Date Of Human Existence In Ireland By 2,500 Years

Radiocarbon dating of a butchered brown bear bone, which has been stored in a cardboard box at the National Museum of Ireland for almost 100 years, has established that humans were on the island of Ireland some 12,500 years ago – 2,500 earlier than previously believed.

https://itsligo.ie/2016/03/20/archaeologyhumanexistence20032016/

We're older than we thought!

AnonoBoy · 21-03-2016 12:05PM

Most of my energy is spent trying to explain Snapchat to the savages.

But enough about my trip to Longford at the weekend.

What's this thread about?

LDN_Irish · 21-03-2016 12:09PM

pickarooney wrote: »

So basically faff about for half an hour an then drink you own urine?

Nodin wrote: »

....don't forget the slide down the side of a hill. Vital stuff.

Yiz amateurs. Completely forgot to light a fire! Gotta keep the spirit up!

Light a fire to keep your spirit up and drink your own piss. They are the fundamental Bear Ghryll rules.

stoplooklisten · 21-03-2016 12:11PM

LDN_Irish wrote: »

Yiz amateurs. Completely forgot to light a fire! Gotta keep the spirit up!

Light a fire to keep your spirit up and drink your own piss. They are the fundamental Bear Ghryll rules.

If you're still cold, a cow makes a good tent. Just slit in open and climb inside!

maudgonner · 21-03-2016 12:15PM

stoplooklisten wrote: »

If you're still cold, a cow makes a good tent. Just slit in open and climb inside!

And once filming is done, go back to the country house you're staying in for the night - so that you can legitimately claim you 'don't stay in hotels when filming the shows'.

Ruu · 21-03-2016 12:22PM

Tell them many tales about reality television from your time then create your own version of X-Factor.

SEPT 23 1989 · 21-03-2016 12:24PM

I reckon i could construct a glider of some sort if i had the right tools and enough sex

RobertKK · 21-03-2016 12:54PM

I'd build a boat and sail around the world and be forever famous for having discovered places like the Americas, Australia, New Zealand and Antarctica.
All which would be named after me in some way...so people in schools would be learning about me until life no longer exists on this planet.

ScumLord · 21-03-2016 03:17PM

Hardened steel would be an easy way to win everyone over. It's pretty simple to make once you know how, they even made steel back in the day although it was very hit and miss and they didn't really understand the process. I could have them making perfect steel every time in a fraction of the time they're taking to do it.

Next would be the wing. It can be applied to their boats but also to their water infrastructure. No more building massive aqueducts that need gravity to do the work. Heres a propeller pump station that can do the same thing. Guess they're need a steam power plant to run it to.

These things would be fairly easy for the likes of the Greeks or Egyptians to apply to their daily lives.

Hygiene would have to take a step up or I'd probably die from all the diseases running rampant in their cities.

Turtyturd · 21-03-2016 03:24PM

Become christ, a couple of magic tricks, a few writer friends to spread the message, and a crucifixion...boom your timeline is all f*cked up.

maudgonner · 21-03-2016 03:30PM

Turtyturd wrote: »

Become christ, a couple of magic tricks, a few writer friends to spread the message, and a crucifixion...boom your timeline is all f*cked up.

- Become Christ - I like it, like where you're going with this!
- a couple of magic tricks - yup, bamboozle them into thinking you're special, got it.
- a few writer friends to spread the message - propaganda, always a good idea.
- and a crucifixion - WOAH, hold on there nelly, this has taken a turn in a bad direction :eek:

allibastor · 21-03-2016 05:40PM

I imagine we would be fecked, At this stage they had fairly good building techniques, fairly good farming techniques and good military techniques.

Maybe the building of napalm and some form of projectile weapon to keep my safe, they the building of internal plumbing in my house?

I mean they could build castles and such and large vilas back then, and had a lot of features we still use today.

Maybe for warfare invent the compound bow, the only advance in warfare in over 1000 years.

Billy86 · 21-03-2016 05:45PM

First thing I'd do would be go watch Johnny Giles playing in his prime.

ScumLord · 21-03-2016 05:56PM

allibastor wrote: »

I imagine we would be fecked, At this stage they had fairly good building techniques, fairly good farming techniques and good military techniques.

I don't know how fantastic their military techniques would have been by modern standards. They were big set pieces and the Romans had their flaws exploited a number of times by the Germans. Battles between Greeks were borderline sports days and wouldn't pass as a battle by modern standards. There was a lot of bravado in war back then, it wasn't just about winning but winning with pride, so you'd have small poorly armed, unprofessional armies facing up against professional armies because pride wouldn't allow them to catch the other side off guard and have an unfair fight.

Maybe the building of napalm and some form of projectile weapon to keep my safe, they the building of internal plumbing in my house?

Have you ever plumbed a house or tried to make napalm? You'd be surprised how much we don't know about the modern world.

I mean they could build castles and such and large vilas back then, and had a lot of features we still use today.

Castles were dank mold ridden and cold strongholds, most people didn't live in them. I'd say many houses normal people built would have been nicer places to live. Just didn't have the security of a castle.

Maybe for warfare invent the compound bow, the only advance in warfare in over 1000 years.

Or, those gun things seemed to have worked out. Morocco has natural supplies of saltpeter, Urine is another source. Sulphur and carbon. Boom, gunpowder.

RonanP77 · 21-03-2016 06:28PM

I could do feck all to be honest, just because I know something exists now doesn't mean I know how to make/build it. I'd be able to come up with some wonderful ideas but that's it.

21-03-2016 07:05PM

I'd presume most people would very quickly just end up murdered or as a slave

whatawaster81 · 21-03-2016 07:28PM

I'd immediately start a religion starting on the premise that the world is not flat.

ScumLord · 21-03-2016 07:33PM

riffmongous wrote: »

I'd presume most people would very quickly just end up murdered or as a slave

I think modern humans would stand out. We'd be clearly different to anything they've seen before so I think they'd be fascinated by us. On average we're taller. We'd have better teeth, we'd probably look good for our age, our clothes would look bizarre. Our inability to do the simplest things like start a fire might make them think we're stupid or something as simple as a chocolate bar in purple wrapping could make them think we're royalty.

I don't think they'd automatically kill us, especially not the likes of the Greeks who would be used to seeing all kinds of different people. Generally people don't resort to violence when they see odd people, curiosity takes over first.

But if the mood hit them they'd easily turn us into slaves.

I'd wonder what would happen if a trained MMA fighter went back in time though. They'd probably be able to beat just about anyone in a fight, their fitness would be on a level unknown of back then. Just using what we know about nutrition would give a modern person a massive advantage.

Easca Peasca · 21-03-2016 07:35PM

Hello ladies.

Avatar MIA · 21-03-2016 07:54PM

ScumLord wrote: »

We'd have better teeth,

Not so sure about that, it's sugar that destroys ours. They wouldn't have much in the way of dental hygiene, and not sure I'd be up to kissing them... :pac:

ScumLord wrote: »

I'd wonder what would happen if a trained MMA fighter went back in time though.

The average person in their early twenties would be a lot fitter than the average person now I'd venture. Their lifestyle would be very active.

Likewise their 'champions' would be very well developed, and if you thought MMA doesn't have much rules!

I'd probably very quickly end up showing them that the insides of a 21st century man are quite pink and gooey.

darkpagandeath · 21-03-2016 07:57PM

Babylonians were cave men ?

Junkyard Tom · 21-03-2016 07:59PM

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Babylonians were cave men ?

OP would have been using stone tools while scratching his head watching everyone else use bronze. :pac:

21-03-2016 08:09PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I think modern humans would stand out. We'd be clearly different to anything they've seen before so I think they'd be fascinated by us. On average we're taller. We'd have better teeth, we'd probably look good for our age, our clothes would look bizarre. Our inability to do the simplest things like start a fire might make them think we're stupid or something as simple as a chocolate bar in purple wrapping could make them think we're royalty.

I don't think they'd automatically kill us, especially not the likes of the Greeks who would be used to seeing all kinds of different people. Generally people don't resort to violence when they see odd people, curiosity takes over first.

But if the mood hit them they'd easily turn us into slaves.

I'd wonder what would happen if a trained MMA fighter went back in time though. They'd probably be able to beat just about anyone in a fight, their fitness would be on a level unknown of back then. Just using what we know about nutrition would give a modern person a massive advantage.

If you get lucky enough to end up in a greek city maybe, and then you'd have to deal with all the pederasty..

How you look could play a role in how quickly you end up as a slave too perhaps? Like how in america free black people were often slaved or reenslaved simply because of their skin colour, pale skinned people could be automatically classed as barbarians in the southern cultures

allibastor · 22-03-2016 10:51AM

ScumLord wrote: »

I think modern humans would stand out. We'd be clearly different to anything they've seen before so I think they'd be fascinated by us. On average we're taller. We'd have better teeth, we'd probably look good for our age, our clothes would look bizarre. Our inability to do the simplest things like start a fire might make them think we're stupid or something as simple as a chocolate bar in purple wrapping could make them think we're royalty.

I don't think they'd automatically kill us, especially not the likes of the Greeks who would be used to seeing all kinds of different people. Generally people don't resort to violence when they see odd people, curiosity takes over first.

But if the mood hit them they'd easily turn us into slaves.

I'd wonder what would happen if a trained MMA fighter went back in time though. They'd probably be able to beat just about anyone in a fight, their fitness would be on a level unknown of back then. Just using what we know about nutrition would give a modern person a massive advantage.

God fitter?? No not a chance unless it was someone who did training in spades. Generally because of the manual labor they would have had a lot more conditioning, I mean most rigorous exercises now are based on old methods, hitting a sledge off a tire!!

We would have a better understanding of nutrition and health and stuff, I mean what many know now about medicine might make us doctor like back then.

In terms of what I stated before, many military techniques were somewhat advanced back then, as were building techniques. We would need some groundbreaking developments to make a big difference, like making a gun would require we know how to craft a copper/steel ported barrel, a flint based firing pin, some form or projectile mechanism unless you going with a musket!

Generally I think if we went back that far, we would know much more, but lots would be useless unless we could built the building blocks for much more. I mean, just personally speaking I know how to make a Gatling gun in principle, but the actual making of one would be near impossible. Same a a tank to be fair, but again, not possible.

I could make a bike!!!!

Avatar MIA · 22-03-2016 12:24PM

allibastor wrote: »

I could make a bike!!!!

That would be extremely tough I'd imagine.

Basically, we'd spend the first ten minutes laughing at their simplicity, but the rest of our brief lives realising how much we rely on others to provide for us in modern times.

JackHeuston · 22-03-2016 12:35PM

I'd punch some trees, make a wooden pick, build a cobblestone house, and farm some land to survive.

Then people would look at me like a fool wondering why the f@# I didn't get a job (maybe in the military) in Rome, like everyone else, to buy things at the market.

Servius Tullius just wrecked the Etruscans for crying out loud. Everyone's rich but caveman me who didn't notice the buildings on the horizon and though I was in cavemen age.

allibastor · 22-03-2016 02:48PM

Avatar MIA wrote: »

That would be extremely tough I'd imagine.

Basically, we'd spend the first ten minutes laughing at their simplicity, but the rest of our brief lives realising how much we rely on others to provide for us in modern times.

You could build an old age bike easy. the ones without the chain, there the pedals are mounted to the wheel!!!

Them are easy to make once you had a forge.

As someone else said, making hardend and stainless steel. might make you have better armor.

Also, the use of condoms!!!

It's the year 566BC

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