Ghosting

20-03-2016 12:44AM

wurzlitzer wrote: »

Whoa! Well said that's a good analogy

But my situation was different the ghost thought I was falling in love with them, I told them that was not the case that I liked them a lot and it was about having fun not about quantifying it was three months! You can't fall in love with someone after three months seeing them once a week!

When you have the talk maybe it's time to walk.....

Labelling in early days kills everything

Love takes time & trust

But all in all good analogy
Could not put it better myself

Balls

You know I don't think it's about the reasons why. Even if you were falling in love, even if you were being too needy, or not enough needy

It's about how we treat each other. Be kind when ending, be honest without sticking the knife in, don't lead the person on, don't cause them to wonder, when things are going south say so.

goz83 · 20-03-2016 12:46AM

I thought this was another one of those poo threads. I guess it is pretty close though.

maudgonner · 20-03-2016 12:50AM

It's a pretty low thing to do. A guy I went out with for three months did something similar. When I eventually met up with him a few weeks later he said "Oh, I asked my cousin for advice and this is what he told me to do".

The guy was 36 years old.

Yes, I had a lucky escape

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 20-03-2016 12:51AM

Shannon757 wrote: »

Are you asking too many questions?

I'm sorry Casper come back
We can still have a future

wurzlitzer · 20-03-2016 12:52AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Are you being too needy?
Are you texting them constantly?
Are they busy?
Are they really bad at texting back?

None of the above

In fact for one I would be antithesis of needy and I am terrible at texting

Until two weeks ago they the puca started to be bad at texting back and foregoing made plans and with excuses using words like hopefully

Before that normal in fact he used to text me before bed almost every night!

We only seen each other once a week we both have very busy lives

As for busy excuses are good Monday to Friday but when you start making excuses like I already made plans and suggesting hopefully next week then coming up with another excuse that's fading not owning up and saying look it you crazy cat I just ain't digging it and using busy instead is lame ...he's not a world leader or running a country even

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 20-03-2016 12:56AM

wurzlitzer wrote: »

None of the above

In fact for one I would be antithesis of needy and I am terrible at texting

Until two weeks ago they the puca started to be bad at texting back and foregoing made plans and with excuses using words like hopefully

Before that normal in fact he used to text me before bed almost every night!

We only seen each other once a week we both have very busy lives

As for busy excuses are good Monday to Friday but when you start making excuses like I already made plans and suggesting hopefully next week then coming up with another excuse that's fading not owning up and saying look it you crazy cat I just ain't digging it and using busy instead is lame ...he's not a world leader or running a country even

Best thing about being single is keeping your options open. Mr Tuesday night is ghosting out? That's too bad, NEXT!
Don't give anyone else the power to manipulate your feelings or your emotions.

wurzlitzer · 20-03-2016 12:57AM

goz83 wrote: »

I thought this was another one of those poo threads. I guess it is pretty close though.

It's pretty ****e alright

But I have vented

Like a true woman scorned

I deserve a roasting for feeling like a scary Mary

Like you I did not give a toss about the content of the "Ship" love or no love

It's the RESPECT bit

Lucky escape I know

gctest50 · 20-03-2016 01:17AM

CaraMay wrote: »

I think you have an excuse for everything. No one goes to dumping classes but if you have any spine at all you treat the dumpee with a bit of respect

no, if there is any good in you at all you'll make them think they've dodged a bullet

maudgonner wrote: »

It's a pretty low thing to do. A guy I went out with for three months did something similar. When I eventually met up with him a few weeks later he said "Oh, I asked my cousin for advice and this is what he told me to do".

The guy was 36 years old.

Yes, I had a lucky escape

just pick a deceased cousin, so when the next one hears about it, it won't seem so bad

20-03-2016 01:27AM

Never heard about this before. Thought this would be about ghosts.

maudgonner · 20-03-2016 01:37AM

gctest50 wrote: »

no, if there is any good in you at all you'll make them think they've dodged a bullet

just pick a deceased cousin, so when the next one hears about it, it won't seem so bad

I know you were probably joking, but in all honesty, no it didn't make me feel great at all. I had a few weeks of feeling like absolute crap about it, which was a shame since it wasn't anything very serious and we could easily have ended on good terms if he had handled things better.

I trusted and respected this guy and he treated me like I wasn't worth the time & effort it would take to have an honest conversation. It made me doubt my judgement and knocked my confidence. It's a really shitty thing to do.

If you want to end things with someone, have enough respect for them to tell them honestly to their face. And if you don't find it easy - well tough, grow a pair, you're meant to be an adult.

LETHAL LADY · 20-03-2016 01:37AM

I don't get these new fangled gizmos. Why would any right minded person expect to meet the love of there life through an app. Yeah, I'm sure I'll be corrected, but feck that for a game of cowboys

20-03-2016 01:40AM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I don't get these new fangled gizmos. Why would any right minded person expect to meet the love of there life through an app. Yeah, I'm sure I'll be corrected, but feck that for a game of cowboys

Dating sites are another way to meet a person. Many have been successful. I never knock them because I'm single and know how hard it can be out there.

LETHAL LADY · 20-03-2016 01:49AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Dating sites are another way to meet a person. Many have been successful. I never knock them because I'm single and know how hard it can be out there.

I didn't mean to knock them as such, but I wouldn't depend on them either.
Truth be told, they might work well for younger folks reared on their tech stuff, but if as an slightly older lady I ended up single in the morning, they'd be my last resort. Being a cynical type I just don't trust what folks say online.

20-03-2016 01:56AM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I didn't mean to knock them as such, but I wouldn't depend on them either.
Truth be told, they might work well for younger folks reared on their tech stuff, but if as an slightly older lady I ended up single in the morning, they'd be my last resort. Being a cynical type I just don't trust what folks say online.

They are another way is all. It is very difficult to meet people and form lasting relationships today. I've a feeling if you were single then you wouldn't rule out online dating.

wurzlitzer · 20-03-2016 01:58AM

Lia_lia wrote: »

Never heard about this before. Thought this would be about ghosts.

It's scary stuff alright !

I never heard of it either but now
I know is a ghost is someone one who lacks a soul fades away basically all facade no substance

Disappears

But ghosting true strange term!

Haunts people

Haunting mmmmmm

Haunts you with the lack of truth lol

LETHAL LADY · 20-03-2016 02:04AM

Deleted User wrote: »

They are another way is all. It is very difficult to meet people and form lasting relationships today. I've a feeling if you were single then you wouldn't rule out online dating.

I'd hate like hell to be depending on a text or picture sent back to reassure me that I was validated though.

20-03-2016 02:07AM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I'd hate like hell to be depending on a text or picture sent back to reassure me that I was validated though.

It's not about being validated. If that's what you are using it for then you need to take a look at yourself. It's two people who start chatting online with a view to going on a date and seeing if they connect.

wurzlitzer · 20-03-2016 02:16AM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

It's not about being validated. If that's what you are using it for then you need to take a look at yourself. It's two people who start chatting online with a view to going on a date and seeing if they connect.

True true

But people love to validate it's kinda of creepy

It should be about having fun and getting to know people,,

I fear for humanity

tomwaterford · 20-03-2016 02:19AM

wurzlitzer wrote: »

True true

But people love to validate it's kinda of creepy

It should be about having fun and getting to know people,,

I fear for humanity

Just so I'm clear...is validate when someone's being needy/annoying/full on

Who wants that in their life/wants to be that person??

Smidge · 20-03-2016 02:22AM

tomwaterford wrote: »

Just so I'm clear...is validate when someone's being needy/annoying/full on

Who wants that in their life/wants to be that person??

I think in this case tom, the validation means getting the "approval" of another person ie the same as likes on facebook etc. So the online dating version of validation would be getting lots of interest ie "you're hot" etc

Robsweezie · 20-03-2016 02:26AM

wurzlitzer wrote:

But people love to validate it's kinda of creepy

Only thing i want validated is my parking ticket

20-03-2016 02:28AM

Being validated is looking for the approval and acceptance of others. If a person is particularly insecure in themselves or unhappy with who they are then having other people respond to them positively will make them feel good.

LETHAL LADY · 20-03-2016 02:28AM

Deleted User wrote: »

It's not about being validated. If that's what you are using it for then you need to take a look at yourself. It's two people who start chatting online with a view to going on a date and seeing if they connect.

I don't though!

20-03-2016 02:29AM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I don't though!

The "you" was meant in a general sense. I didn't mean to imply you personally.

mud · 20-03-2016 02:34AM

I am guilty of the crime of Ghosting.

Picture it. Dublin 1999. Young mud works in a small family business, gets on great with the owners and has handily enough just had her heart broken so is more than happy to fall into the arms of the owners' son who is away in college.

It started off fine, minor misgivings on my part about a few little things he had done. Controlling behaviour, turning up unannounced and uninvited. That sort of thing but I was on the rebound so I ignored all the warning bells.

After maybe two months of said ignoring, I realised that I was actually going out with a sociopath who forced me to watch porn, passed weird comments about his parents' sex life and was just a creep in general.

My immaturity ruled my head and I simply disappeared off the face of the planet. Wouldn't return calls and quit my job so I ghosted him and my employer all in the one go.

In retrospect I should have just told him to fuuck off to his face but I was so in over my head and miles out of my comfort zone that I just panicked and was compelled to eject him completely from my life.

Ice Maiden · 20-03-2016 02:37AM

I think if you "ghost" someone who treats you badly it is a different story to doing so to someone who has done nothing wrong/things seemed to be going well... and leaving them bewildered.

mud · 20-03-2016 02:40AM

Yeah I get that but from his POV everything was going well, he didn't know what a creep he was.

LETHAL LADY · 20-03-2016 02:42AM

Deleted User wrote: »

The "you" was meant in a general sense. I didn't mean to imply you personally.

Fair enough Persepoly

Smidge · 20-03-2016 02:46AM

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I don't though!

I wasn't directing that at you LL, just putting my interpretation of the phrase to tom

Smidge · 20-03-2016 02:50AM

I'll put my tuppence in

I dont think internet dating would appeal to me if I were to be single tomorrow.
I genuinely feel its not for me, and that in now way is meant to cast aspersions on anyone else who uses it.

As for ghosting....back in my day

it happened, just without a name.
Although, I think we called it " get the hint". :pac:
I never took it too personally tbh, just wrote it up as a lucky escape!!

Ghosting

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