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Ghosting

2456

Comments

  • #32
    whatawaster81
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭whatawaster81


    Wasn't her was it?



  • #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,740 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    It is a sign of a coward and the person at the receiving end can take comfort in the fact that who they were dating wasn't such a catch after all.


  • #34
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    If only there was a way to find out what something means....

    One day they'll invent it.


  • #35
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    mightyreds wrote: »
    I did it once going out with this artisy type girl bought an apartment and renovated it but in the space of a week we were mugged walking home and the apartment was ransacked, it was too much to handle and I just ghosted out after that
    Add your reply here.

    What! You mean you started flaking out! Stress does that I realise that now! But why does stress cause this flakiness

    Fade out by radio head beginning to sound more meaningful


  • #36
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    DareGod wrote: »
    If only there was a way to find out what something means....

    One day they'll invent it.
    Add your reply here.

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Ghosting


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  • #37
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,740 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DareGod wrote: »
    Don't feel too bad. It's not like we were taught in school how to break up with someone. It's difficult to be on either side of the situation.

    Hopefully we were taught to be decent human beings. It's not about not knowing what to do, it's about being mature and honest enough to say "I'm sorry but....".


  • #38
    Sh1tbag OToole
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭Sh1tbag OToole


    I have an app almost finished for my phone that detects this (and will soon be sold on the Play store as soon as I get my beanbag office in a start-up incubation centre in Dublin).

    It's currently detecting 25 ghosters in my contact list


  • #39
    Hugo Stiglitz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,891 ✭✭✭✭Hugo Stiglitz


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It is a sign of a coward and the person at the receiving end can take comfort in the fact that who they were dating wasn't such a catch after all.

    Well said, P!

    It can also happen in non-dating relationships too, which could be almost worse in a way.


  • #40
    mightyreds
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,979 ✭✭✭mightyreds


    wurzlitzer wrote: »
    Add your reply here.

    What! You mean you started flaking out! Stress does that I realise that now! But why does stress cause this flakiness

    Fade out by radio head beginning to sound more meaningful

    Yeah but once I got my head straight and realised what was going on, I enlisted the help of friend to sort out the mess, the girl was skeptical at first about the help but we got it sorted and I disappeared into the white light on good terms


  • #41
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    There is a difference. The person in the street won't be left hurt and wondering why. The person you ghost on more than likely will be.

    Ugh. I just can't stand some people's attitudes.

    Well the funny thing is when I text them the link about ghosting and having cojones they were quick to reply to meet for a chat

    It was like I stepped on their grave right on the cojones

    I have broken up with people but always to their face.

    I was brought to be be upfront and to have integrity

    Is the person afraid of being shown in a bad light!

    I can take the rejection what I could not take was the not knowing, they could have been in a coma for all I knew lol

    Guess integrity goes out the window these days we live in a throwaway culture

    Live and learn or experience


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  • #42
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Hopefully we were taught to be decent human beings. It's not about not knowing what to do, it's about being mature and honest enough to say "I'm sorry but....".

    To be one, yes, but not "how" to be one.

    I think it's unfair to suggest that someone is not a decent human being just because they ****ed up a difficult situation that they were never educated on how to handle.


  • #43
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    DareGod wrote: »
    To be one, yes, but not "how" to be one.

    I think it's unfair to suggest that someone is not a decent human being just because they ****ed up a difficult situation that they were never educated on how to handle.

    What a cop out!!! Who is ever taught how to dump someone?!?!


  • #44
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,740 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DareGod wrote: »
    To be one, yes, but not "how" to be one.

    I think it's unfair to suggest that someone is not a decent human being just because they ****ed up a difficult situation that they were never educated on how to handle.

    Personally I think it speaks volumes of a person's character.


  • #45
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Personally I think it speaks volumes of a person's character.

    Personally I think that being judgemental of other people's personal failings speaks volumes of a person's character.


  • #46
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    mightyreds wrote: »
    Yeah but once I got my head straight and realised what was going on, I enlisted the help of friend to sort out the mess, the girl was skeptical at first about the help but we got it sorted and I disappeared into the white light on good terms

    Glad it worked out, but that's kinda of not ghosting that's realising this is not what I want and you then girlfriend realised you were freaking out.

    Ghosting is seeing someone with enthusiasm then completely vanishing or fading by making half assed excuses instead of meeting up to break up or end it all

    You had the courage to employ a facilitator to help you communicate what you needed to do

    A ghost lacks the balls and the courage to do what's right


  • #47
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    DareGod wrote: »
    Personally I think that being judgemental of other people's personal failings speaks volumes of a person's character.

    Not 1/2 as much as the persons flawed caracter


  • #48
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,740 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DareGod wrote: »
    Personally I think that being judgemental of other people's personal failings speaks volumes of a person's character.

    You are very much entitled to hold that view DareGod.


  • #49
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    CaraMay wrote: »
    What a cop out!!! Who is ever taught how to dump someone?!?!

    That's far too many exclamation marks.

    Back on topic. We all learn how to treat people from our environment. Lots of people haven't had the wonderfully, emotionally educational upbringing that the rest of us have had, and end up treating others less than perfectly as a result. If you choose to judge them for that that's your prerogative.


  • #50
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    CaraMay wrote: »
    Not 1/2 as much as the persons flawed caracter

    I think your opinion on this is horrifically immature.


  • #51
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    There's a term for that? I always just assumed it was called not bothering to text back and then you sort of forget you ever were talking to them


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  • #52
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    You are very much entitled to hold that view DareGod.

    Thanks?


  • #53
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    You are very much entitled to hold that view DareGod.

    Guys please!

    How do we prevent the world from this ghosting psychology today says its rampant !

    Lol, never judge a book by its cover, but never judge a book by its contents page either I say

    Coz that book might have some blank pages under some of those chapter headings.....


  • #54
    the evasion_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,740 ✭✭✭the evasion_kid


    Here's me thinking "ghosting" was when you withdrew from society into a 4 wall hermit......I've been doing it wrong for years...


  • #55
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    There's a term for that? I always just assumed it was called not bothering to text back and then you sort of forget you ever were talking to them

    It depends

    It's alright if it's a ONS that's just not replying or ignoring

    Ghosting is when you have actually had "romantic relations or dated for a while"

    Like in my case three months then they just disappear or become unavailable

    Probably due to

    1. Being spineless
    2. Dating someone else
    3. Really not bothered no integrity to do the decent thing


  • #56
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,740 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    DareGod wrote: »
    That's far too many exclamation marks.

    Back on topic. We all learn how to treat people from our environment. Lots of people haven't had the wonderfully, emotionally educational upbringing that the rest of us have had, and end up treating others less than perfectly as a result. If you choose to judge them for that that's your prerogative.

    I'll give you an example.

    Two people meet on a night out. They swap numbers. They are really in to each other. Dates happen. A month passes and all is well. One person has really opened themselves up to the other and is confident it's going somewhere. Out of the blue communication from the other stops. This person knows how they are liked, knows that they were let in to someone else's life, knows that they are trusted.

    Yet none of that is enough for that person to do the decent thing and be upfront. What person thinks it's ok to just ignore somebody's feelings in that way? To just blank them and keep going?


  • #57
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Are you being too needy?
    Are you texting them constantly?
    Are they busy?
    Are they really bad at texting back?


  • #58
    Shannon757
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,847 ✭✭✭✭Shannon757


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Are you being too needy?
    Are you texting them constantly?
    Are they busy?
    Are they really bad at texting back?

    Are you asking too many questions?


  • #59
    wurzlitzer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 988 ✭✭✭wurzlitzer


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    I'll give you an example.

    Two people meet on a night out. They swap numbers. They are really in to each other. Dates happen. A month passes and all is well. One person has really opened themselves up to the other and is confident it's going somewhere. Out of the blue communication from the other stops. This person knows how they are liked, knows that they were let in to someone else's life, knows that they are trusted.

    Yet none of that is enough for that person to do the decent thing and be upfront. What person thinks it's ok to just ignore somebody's feelings in that way? To just blank them and keep going?

    Whoa! Well said that's a good analogy

    But my situation was different the ghost thought I was falling in love with them, I told them that was not the case that I liked them a lot and it was about having fun not about quantifying it was three months! You can't fall in love with someone after three months seeing them once a week!

    When you have the talk maybe it's time to walk.....

    Labelling in early days kills everything

    Love takes time & trust

    But all in all good analogy
    Could not put it better myself

    Balls


  • #60
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    DareGod wrote: »
    I think your opinion on this is horrifically immature.

    I think you have an excuse for everything. No one goes to dumping classes but if you have any spine at all you treat the dumpee with a bit of respect


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  • #61
    Ice Maiden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 600 ✭✭✭Ice Maiden


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I'll give you an example.

    Two people meet on a night out. They swap numbers. They are really in to each other. Dates happen. A month passes and all is well. One person has really opened themselves up to the other and is confident it's going somewhere. Out of the blue communication from the other stops. This person knows how they are liked, knows that they were let in to someone else's life, knows that they are trusted.

    Yet none of that is enough for that person to do the decent thing and be upfront. What person thinks it's ok to just ignore somebody's feelings in that way? To just blank them and keep going?
    I know two people it was done to. Although a bit different as both were completely online, but that is one of the huge dangers of meeting someone online and not meeting them in person. An idea of who they are builds up in each person's head, and it can be as embellished as hell. Turned out to be utter lies in the case of one of them - using stock photos and stuff, lying about who they were. Then, sudden cutting of contact - ways to contact them online blocked. No response to texts. Vanished into thin air after all these months investing in the online relationship. The aggrieved parties did want to meet them constantly but the "ghost" would keep putting it off.

    Atrocious. Really psychologically ****ed up.


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