People casually asking you about your finances

DareGod · 09-03-2016 06:15PM #1

What the hell is with otherwise-socially-intelligent people (including friends and family) casually asking you about your own personal financial business?

Questions like
How much do you get paid?
How much rent do you pay?
How much do you pay for x/y/z...?

Why do so many people think it's okay to casually ask someone this? It puts the person in an extremely difficult situation because if they don't want to answer the question (which is pretty reasonable to me) then how are they meant to respond to this question? "Eh, I'm not telling you that." ?

So the person who asks this question is (A) asking something that is none of their business (and shouldn't they know that?!) and (B) putting the person in an awkward situation.

I get that many of you have no problem telling people about your financial business, particularly friends and family, and that's your decision to make, it's your prerogative. But that is not my point. My point is that you get to make that decision. For those of us who don't like telling people about our finances, it takes that decision completely away from us, by putting us in the awkward and difficult scenario of having to give out information we want to keep private, or else have to make things awkward by forcing us to say "I don't want to tell you."

....and breathe.

valoren · 09-03-2016 06:20PM

Just casually tap your nose twice with a smile while making direct eye contact.

They should get the hint.

razorblunt · 09-03-2016 06:21PM

"if you have to ask, you don't want to know".

That applies to Gardaí too.

Maximus Alexander · 09-03-2016 06:23PM

"€450 an hour, but the tax man takes half of it..."

They'll get the message.

duchalla · 09-03-2016 06:23PM

I'd never ask someone how much do they get paid?

As for asking someone how much rent they pay or how much they paid for x/y/z? I dont really see the big deal....

valoren · 09-03-2016 06:24PM

Reminds me of the Chris Rock skit where a guy casually talking to his buddy about anal sex with his wife was ok but then he asks him who he voted for and he launches into a tirade.

Mesrine65 · 09-03-2016 06:26PM

Pat Mustard · 09-03-2016 06:27PM

DareGod wrote: »

Questions like
How much do you get paid?
How much rent to you pay?
How much do you pay for x/y/z...?

"A guard wouldn't ask you that!" delivered with a smile (real or fake, as required), will get you out of this situation unscathed, with all but the most determined of busybodies.

Paramite Pie · 09-03-2016 06:30PM

I would never ask someone their wages but I don't see why your rent or other expenses are private? It's certainly not an invasion of privacy..

People are often looking for value for their rent and it's a useful comparison. If your internet is faster than theirs or similar then they'll ask because their interested in getting better value. Likewise with insurance ect...

However if someone did ask me my wages I'd just give the hourly wage -- since I'm in college that's generally what people are interested in rather than my weekly earnings (ie they may want to apply for a similar job). People could certainly do with better social skills if they're asking these questions.

King George VI · 09-03-2016 06:31PM

I'd never ask someone about their wage. I'd have no problem asking about their rent or how much they paid for other things though. I don't see this as too personal.

For a friend anyway. Couldn't give a shiite about the finances of people I don't know well.

Still, don't know why you're so worked up about it. If they ask just tell them to mind their own business and move on, you ****ing moanbag. Jesus!

kneemos · 09-03-2016 06:32PM

Every good question deserves a decent lie.

Ruu · 09-03-2016 06:36PM

Why would someone ask any of these, unless they are interested in renting in a similar area? Otherwise, guards wouldn't ask me that or would you like to know when/where I had a sheite last??

4zn76tysfajdxp · 09-03-2016 06:38PM

If someone were to ask me how much I make, I'd just tell them that it's none of their business. People need to learn to stand up for themselves.

09-03-2016 06:39PM

Asking someone how much they earn or how much savings they have would be two things I'd steer clear off.

However I would always ask people how much their rent is, how much they paid/sold their car for, how much their house cost, how much they paid for that shirt they are wearing etc etc etc. See no problem with these questions.

Boom_Bap · 09-03-2016 06:39PM

Royce Hollow Fort wrote: »

If someone were to ask me how much I make, I'd just tell them that it's none of their business. People need to learn to stand up for themselves.

Yeah but, how much do you make?

eezipc · 09-03-2016 06:40PM

Why are people so coy about what they get paid? Especially between co-workers.
For example, if two people working beside each other get paid different amounts for the same job, wouldn't it suit them better if they discussed it between them?

kjl · 09-03-2016 06:42PM

I make more than anyone asking.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 09-03-2016 06:43PM

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Yeah but, how much do you make?

Dozens.

Maximus Alexander · 09-03-2016 06:43PM

eezipc wrote: »

Why are people so coy about what they get paid? Especially between co-workers.
For example, if two people working beside each other get paid different amounts for the same job, wouldn't it suit them better if they discussed it between them?

No. If your co-worker goes to the boss and says "I want a raise because eezipc is getting a couple of grand more than me", your boss is not going to be pleased with you.

Boom_Bap · 09-03-2016 06:44PM

Royce Hollow Fort wrote: »

Dozens.

Regular or Bakers?

4zn76tysfajdxp · 09-03-2016 06:44PM

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Regular or Bakers?

This interview is over!

kjl · 09-03-2016 06:46PM

Royce Hollow Fort wrote: »

Dozens.

Literally hundreds of euro a year

kazamo · 09-03-2016 06:52PM

How much do I earn ?

That would be an ecumenical matter, you nosy f :P

eezipc · 09-03-2016 06:55PM

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

No. If your co-worker goes to the boss and says "I want a raise because eezipc is getting a couple of grand more than me", your boss is not going to be pleased with you.

That's the point. People not sharing their salary suits the employer so the employer can pay some people less than others.
I know it from experience. People should talk about it more.

Earthhorse · 09-03-2016 06:57PM

I don't see the big deal. If you find the matter to be a private one then simply say so.

Keane2baMused · 09-03-2016 06:58PM

I really would not give two flips if someone asked me how much rent I pay or how much my sky bill is.

Asking about salary however IS an invasion of privacy and not really the done thing..for most people anyway!

Permabear · 09-03-2016 07:04PM

This post has been deleted.

09-03-2016 07:13PM

eezipc wrote: »

That's the point. People not sharing their salary suits the employer so the employer can pay some people less than others.
I know it from experience. People should talk about it more.

Very bad idea imo, it will cause nothing but hassle.

I earn a bit more and have better contract than some of my co-workers doing the same job and with the same experience mostly because I moved department and my previous department give better contracts than my new one and for what ever reason I managed to keep the terms and conditions after the move. Telling them will achieve nothing and just make them annoyed so I tell them I earn the same as them.

Keane2baMused · 09-03-2016 07:16PM

Connor Flat Recruiter wrote: »

Very bad idea imo, it will cause nothing but hassle.

Agree. Years ago I started in a role along with two others. One of them asked the other what she was being paid and foolishly she answered. It was 1k more. She looked at me as if to say what about you and I kept my mouth shut as it was more than the both of them.

The person then went on the rampage to management stating she was being discriminted against because of where she was from...:-/

Ficheall · 09-03-2016 07:26PM

Why do people care about being asked their wage?
It's not something I'd ask anyone unless I were thinking of applying for a similar job, because otherwise I simply wouldn't care, but it's not something I'd regard as an invasion of privacy (even assuming the askee were somehow compelled to answer) .

edit: feck you, Mr. S :P

ShoulderChip · 09-03-2016 07:28PM

I just tell them 23p a minute, by the time they figure out I mean every minute of the year and not a working minute and that it is in sterling, they are either clever enough to be on a similar wage or I have left at that stage

People casually asking you about your finances

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