People casually asking you about your finances

DareGod

What the hell is with otherwise-socially-intelligent people (including friends and family) casually asking you about your own personal financial business?

Questions like
How much do you get paid?
How much rent do you pay?
How much do you pay for x/y/z...?

Why do so many people think it's okay to casually ask someone this? It puts the person in an extremely difficult situation because if they don't want to answer the question (which is pretty reasonable to me) then how are they meant to respond to this question? "Eh, I'm not telling you that." ?

So the person who asks this question is (A) asking something that is none of their business (and shouldn't they know that?!) and (B) putting the person in an awkward situation.

I get that many of you have no problem telling people about your financial business, particularly friends and family, and that's your decision to make, it's your prerogative. But that is not my point. My point is that you get to make that decision. For those of us who don't like telling people about our finances, it takes that decision completely away from us, by putting us in the awkward and difficult scenario of having to give out information we want to keep private, or else have to make things awkward by forcing us to say "I don't want to tell you."


....and breathe.

valoren

Just casually tap your nose twice with a smile while making direct eye contact.

They should get the hint.

razorblunt

"if you have to ask, you don't want to know".

That applies to Gardaí too.

Maximus Alexander

"€450 an hour, but the tax man takes half of it..."

They'll get the message.

duchalla

I'd never ask someone how much do they get paid?

As for asking someone how much rent they pay or how much they paid for x/y/z? I dont really see the big deal....

valoren

Reminds me of the Chris Rock skit where a guy casually talking to his buddy about anal sex with his wife was ok but then he asks him who he voted for and he launches into a tirade.

Mesrine65

Pat Mustard

DareGod wrote: »

Questions like
How much do you get paid?
How much rent to you pay?
How much do you pay for x/y/z...?

"A guard wouldn't ask you that!" delivered with a smile (real or fake, as required), will get you out of this situation unscathed, with all but the most determined of busybodies.

Paramite Pie

I would never ask someone their wages but I don't see why your rent or other expenses are private? It's certainly not an invasion of privacy..

People are often looking for value for their rent and it's a useful comparison. If your internet is faster than theirs or similar then they'll ask because their interested in getting better value. Likewise with insurance ect...

However if someone did ask me my wages I'd just give the hourly wage -- since I'm in college that's generally what people are interested in rather than my weekly earnings (ie they may want to apply for a similar job). People could certainly do with better social skills if they're asking these questions.

King George VI

I'd never ask someone about their wage. I'd have no problem asking about their rent or how much they paid for other things though. I don't see this as too personal.

For a friend anyway. Couldn't give a shiite about the finances of people I don't know well.

Still, don't know why you're so worked up about it. If they ask just tell them to mind their own business and move on, you ****ing moanbag. Jesus!

kneemos

Every good question deserves a decent lie.

Ruu

Why would someone ask any of these, unless they are interested in renting in a similar area? Otherwise, guards wouldn't ask me that or would you like to know when/where I had a sheite last??

4zn76tysfajdxp

If someone were to ask me how much I make, I'd just tell them that it's none of their business. People need to learn to stand up for themselves.

Asking someone how much they earn or how much savings they have would be two things I'd steer clear off.

However I would always ask people how much their rent is, how much they paid/sold their car for, how much their house cost, how much they paid for that shirt they are wearing etc etc etc. See no problem with these questions.

Boom_Bap

Royce Hollow Fort wrote: »

If someone were to ask me how much I make, I'd just tell them that it's none of their business. People need to learn to stand up for themselves.

Yeah but, how much do you make?

eezipc

Why are people so coy about what they get paid? Especially between co-workers.
For example, if two people working beside each other get paid different amounts for the same job, wouldn't it suit them better if they discussed it between them?

kjl

I make more than anyone asking.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Yeah but, how much do you make?

Dozens.

Maximus Alexander

eezipc wrote: »

Why are people so coy about what they get paid? Especially between co-workers.
For example, if two people working beside each other get paid different amounts for the same job, wouldn't it suit them better if they discussed it between them?

No. If your co-worker goes to the boss and says "I want a raise because eezipc is getting a couple of grand more than me", your boss is not going to be pleased with you.

Boom_Bap

Royce Hollow Fort wrote: »

Dozens.

Regular or Bakers?

4zn76tysfajdxp

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Regular or Bakers?

This interview is over!

kjl

Royce Hollow Fort wrote: »

Dozens.

Literally hundreds of euro a year

kazamo

How much do I earn ?

That would be an ecumenical matter, you nosy f :P

eezipc

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

No. If your co-worker goes to the boss and says "I want a raise because eezipc is getting a couple of grand more than me", your boss is not going to be pleased with you.

That's the point. People not sharing their salary suits the employer so the employer can pay some people less than others.
I know it from experience. People should talk about it more.

Earthhorse

I don't see the big deal. If you find the matter to be a private one then simply say so.

Keane2baMused

I really would not give two flips if someone asked me how much rent I pay or how much my sky bill is.

Asking about salary however IS an invasion of privacy and not really the done thing..for most people anyway!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

eezipc

eezipc wrote: »

That's the point. People not sharing their salary suits the employer so the employer can pay some people less than others.
I know it from experience. People should talk about it more.

Very bad idea imo, it will cause nothing but hassle.

I earn a bit more and have better contract than some of my co-workers doing the same job and with the same experience mostly because I moved department and my previous department give better contracts than my new one and for what ever reason I managed to keep the terms and conditions after the move. Telling them will achieve nothing and just make them annoyed so I tell them I earn the same as them.

Keane2baMused

Connor Flat Recruiter wrote: »

Very bad idea imo, it will cause nothing but hassle.

Agree. Years ago I started in a role along with two others. One of them asked the other what she was being paid and foolishly she answered. It was 1k more. She looked at me as if to say what about you and I kept my mouth shut as it was more than the both of them.

The person then went on the rampage to management stating she was being discriminted against because of where she was from...:-/

Ficheall

Why do people care about being asked their wage?
It's not something I'd ask anyone unless I were thinking of applying for a similar job, because otherwise I simply wouldn't care, but it's not something I'd regard as an invasion of privacy (even assuming the askee were somehow compelled to answer) .

edit: feck you, Mr. S :P

ShoulderChip

I just tell them 23p a minute, by the time they figure out I mean every minute of the year and not a working minute and that it is in sterling, they are either clever enough to be on a similar wage or I have left at that stage

Ficheall

ShoulderChip wrote: »

I just tell them 23p a minute, by the time they figure out I mean every minute of the year and not a working minute and that it is in sterling, they are either clever enough to be on a similar wage or I have left at that stage

I hope you made a donation to the SSF.

miezekatze

Connor Flat Recruiter wrote: »

Very bad idea imo, it will cause nothing but hassle.

I used to work somewhere where people openly discussed their wages and it did cause nothing but hassle. I think everyone would have been happier not knowing that x gets less than them and y gets more for the same job. I never discuss my wages with people now.

When I bought my house, people I barely knew asked how much I paid. I thought that was quite rude. They weren't even people who were looking to buy a house themselves at the time.

StripedBoxers

When I was on work placement (it was unpaid), one person asked me "was the money good" - I worked in a hospital and the guy just assumed it was paid.

I honestly thought it was so rude and intrusive. Its no one business what I or anyone earns. I could never imagine asking anyone that question.

As for asking how much someone paid for something, I never really ask to be honest. If they say how much it is, great, if not, great. If its something I would have an interest in I'd ask, but depends on the person, I wouldn't ask everyone.

I certainly would never ask how much a house was, mortgage payments, car etc.

I've one friend who asks me about everything I buy, and they only ask so they can berate me for spending X amount on XXX, so whenever they ask, I never tell them. I just say I won't be discussing it and leave it at that.

Each to their own though.

ShoulderChip

Ficheall wrote: »

I hope you made a donation to the SSF.

Perhaps this may answer your question "why do people care about being asked about their wage"

when on hearing the answer you believe you can advise them or comment on how they should be spending it.

CorkColin

I'd have no bother with someone asking me my wages, whether they are good or not, I don't get why people feel the need to be so defensive about it.

Similarly I'd have no bother asking someone there wages, or how much anything has cost. It's all digits at the end of the day, No one will make it out alive with them

elperello

DareGod wrote: »

What the hell is with otherwise-socially-intelligent people (including friends and family) casually asking you about your own personal financial business?

Questions like
How much do you get paid?
How much rent do you pay?
How much do you pay for x/y/z...?

1-I'd never discuss salary levels and to be honest anyone who asks you is just being nosy and probably has a thick enough skin to deal with a refusal to disclose.

2-Rent is not such a sensitive issue as by it's nature it's probably a transitional phase of life and you won't be there for ever.

3-How much did you pay for x/y/z all depends on the nature of x/y/z. For instance how much you paid for a night out probably shouldn't be a state secret other things may need to be kept private. As an example, I have a past time which involves occasional buying and selling of equipment in a very limited market, hence the need to keep the purchase price to myself.
I find that a polite noncommittal reply such as "more than I would have liked" usually fills the bill without causing awkwardness.

Quazzie

"how much do you make?"


"Not enough"


Simple.

yqtwqxqm

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing his employees not to tell each other what their salaries are

Seriously though, if you and all your workmates share your salary info, you will be much better able to negotiate.
No need to tell the employer you know each others salary, but make no mistake, people keeping their salary secret suits the employer big time.

Bubbaclaus

Why are people so secretive and sensitive about their finances?

Ficheall

ShoulderChip wrote: »

Perhaps this may answer your question "why do people care about being asked about their wage"

when on hearing the answer you believe you can advise them or comment on how they should be spending it.

I knew that point would be made, but you said you made fifteen million euro a year, so I assumed no one was being entirely serious...

Greyian

Ficheall wrote: »

I knew that point would be made, but you said you made fifteen million euro a year, so I assumed no one was being entirely serious...

23p per minute => £13.80 per hour

£13.80 per hour => £331.20 per day

£331.20 per day => £120,888 (assuming 365 day year).

£120,888 => €156,155 (at current exchange rates).

Wee bit off on your calculations.

EndaHonesty

Mr.S wrote: »

Why are people so protective about their salaries / wage etc?

I couldn't care less if someone asked me how much I earn

How much do you earn?

FrStone

Connor Flat Recruiter wrote: »

Very bad idea imo, it will cause nothing but hassle.

I earn a bit more and have better contract than some of my co-workers doing the same job and with the same experience mostly because I moved department and my previous department give better contracts than my new one and for what ever reason I managed to keep the terms and conditions after the move. Telling them will achieve nothing and just make them annoyed so I tell them I earn the same as them.

The thing about this is everyone seems to think that they are being paid more than their counterparts. I've spent time in payroll and it's usually the people who think they need to keep their salary confidential that are actually earning the least. Even though they think the opposite.

HalloweenJack

Personally don't have a problem with people asking me about my financial situation.

EndaHonesty

HalloweenJack wrote: »

Personally don't have a problem with people asking me about my financial situation.

What is your financial situation?

A.Partridge

Bubbaclaus wrote: »

Why are people so secretive and sensitive about their finances?

Because those who ask want to make judgements about them. That's why.

AASirius

Bubbaclaus wrote: »

Why are people so secretive and sensitive about their finances?

Why do people think it's any of their business?

Cherry Blossom

I know a Scottish woman who answers every question about money with 'hunners an millions' so I adopted that phrase.

Alf Veedersane

"I get paid so much with what I made today I could buy a green house in Crumlin AND Kimmage. Maybe even the water works.

Cha-ching"

Bubbaclaus

Bubbaclaus wrote: »

Why are people so secretive and sensitive about their finances?

It depends on the people really. My family for instance openly discuss finances (parents and my siblings). Very close friends I would also not have a problem having an open discussion. But other friends, or people I know or people I don't know I wouldn't like to talk about how much I earn as I think it's a fairly private thing. Also it can cause awkwardness and resentment if people earn much less than you particularly if you and the other person are in situations where things are being paid for etc. Work mates in general I avoid salary discussions as it can only lead to hassle.

I'll give an example, I would never tell my house mate how much I earn in fact I try to give the impression I don't earn much at all. Reason being I pay all the bills in the house and then have to chase him for money. I know he earns far far less than me, I save more per month than he earns (more so because his wages are very low rather than mine being very high). So if he is just about scraping through the month and I'm asking him for 60 or 70 euro for bills he firstly is more likely to fob me off and secondly it could cause tension "sure he doesn't even need the money".....

FrStone wrote: »

The thing about this is everyone seems to think that they are being paid more than their counterparts. I've spent time in payroll and it's usually the people who think they need to keep their salary confidential that are actually earning the least. Even though they think the opposite.

I actually know exactly what they are earning, I've seen the numbers.