Christmas can be hard

We say 'Happy Christmas' over and over, yet behind it all we know that Christmas isn't necessarily a happy time for many.

The exact nature of Christmas with its hype, pressure and expectations can make it quite a painful time for many.

Yet can't there maybe be quite a stigma attached to saying you don't enjoy Christmas, and that you maybe struggle with it?

There's things that I like about Christmas, but on the whole I've pretty much always struggled with it for many reasons.

A few years ago I started being a bit more open about that. More people 'got it' than I expected. One year I basically skipped Christmas altogether and went off travelling on my own at Christmas, and was very surprised by quite how many people said they were envious of that, when I expected judgement and criticism for it.

If you're struggling this Christmas, I'm sorry. It's hard struggling for any reason generally, but it can be even harder struggling at Christmas.

There could be any reason you're struggling be it emotionally, financially, for practical reasons, maybe Christmas brings back bad memories for you, maybe you've difficult relationships with your family, maybe you're spending Christmas alone for whatever reason, maybe you've lost a family member and Christmas without them will be hard.... The list goes on...

The general message society often gives us is to just shove it to one side, put on your happy face cos it's Christmas and get on with it.

If that's what works for you, and you can do it, great. If not, that's ok too.

If you need to admit to others that you're finding Christmas hard, that's ok.

If you need to be yourself and you can't be happy and chirpy and cheerful because you don't have it in you, that's ok.

However you are, that is how you are, and that is absolutely fine.

For me, although I struggle hugely with Christmas this year's tactic was to identify several things about Christmas that I do like, to focus on them, to take the joy from them, and to try to chuck the rest to one side.

Easier said than done sometimes, I know.

And the times that I didn't return to family for Christmas because it would be too difficult for me because of difficult relations with family? A very difficult decision to make, but I realised that I needed to put myself first, and stop putting myself in situations which are too painful, and leave me struggling.

If you too struggle emotionally (or in any other way) at Christmas, I guarantee you are not alone with that. So many more all around you will be struggling too, even if they are not saying it.

And society tells us a lot about what is expected from us at Christmas.

If it's a tough time for you, and you decide to make it like any other day, that's ok.

Or if you're struggling but decide to embrace Christmas in all its glory, to try to reclaim it, again that's ok.

It can be hard to do, but... do what is right for you...

Whether Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year for you, or one of the most difficult times, I'll be thinking of you all, and hope it is the best it can be for you