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What do attractive girls think about being checked out by hopeless people?

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124

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    #92
    Frucht
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2 ✭Frucht


    ThinkProgress wrote: »
    I've never chatted a girl up... I've always let them initiate. Probably makes me a bit of an odd male in that respect.

    I'm not really attracted to shy quiet women anyway, so it's really never been an issue for me!

    I watch other guys desperately chasing women and it looks a bit tragic to me at times... Self control and composure are attractive qualities in a person - regardless of gender!

    You can chat up women without desperately chasing. If you don't put yourself in the driving seat you can't choose who you want to talk to, you are just passively hoping something happens. I think it's therapeutic and fulfilling to take action and to be assertive rather than passive.

    My attitude when approaching a woman is that I want to go over and talk to her and find out if I like her, she still has to win me over though, my mind is far from made up, but first and foremost I'm going to have fun regardless and that's always my priority. Whether she rejects me, I reject her, we hook up or whatever, I'll be having fun either way.


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    #93
    ThinkProgress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭ThinkProgress


    Frucht wrote: »
    You can chat up women without desperately chasing. If you don't put yourself in the driving seat you can't choose who you want to talk to, you are just passively hoping something happens. I think it's therapeutic and fulfilling to take action and to be assertive rather than passive.

    My attitude when approaching a woman is that I want to go over and talk to her and find out if I like her, she still has to win me over though, my mind is far from made up, but first and foremost I'm going to have fun regardless and that's always my priority. Whether she rejects me, I reject her, we hook up or whatever, I'll be having fun either way.

    Oh yeah I wasn't trying to say every guy acts desperate. But the vast majority probably do from what I've seen.

    It's just not in my personality to go chasing a woman in very obvious and open manner. My attitude is that you need to let relationships happen in a more organic way...

    Plus people can be very fake with each other in those situations... You rarely see the real person from a forced interaction.

    I was around my current GF for several weeks before I gave her any indication that I was into her. And even after that, I still teased her and played games with her... (In a fun way, not mean or anything)

    You become friends with someone first, then you find out if there's something else there.

    Too many people hook up really quick, then slowly realise there's nothing much beyond the physical.


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    #94
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,112 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    *aside*
    Yakkyda wrote: »
    Never judge a book by its cover,
    Not singling you out Y, but I could never understand that phrase even when I heard it as a kid. I mean the title is there for all too see, so… :D /aside.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #95
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    Am I the only one who finds it odd to smile at strangers? I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.


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    #96
    Yakkyda
    Site Banned Posts: 167 ✭✭Yakkyda


    Pac1Man wrote: »
    Am I the only one who finds it odd to smile at strangers? I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

    I do, it confuses the fcuk outta people.


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    #97
    Menas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    Pac1Man wrote: »
    Am I the only one who finds it odd to smile at strangers? I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

    I have a rotten memory for names and faces. So when I am in my home town I just walk round like a simpleton with a smile on my face and nod at everyone.

    Dont want to offend anyone who knows me by ignoring them.

    The rest must think I am a bit touched. Friendly, but touched.


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    #98
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    I do realise that this may sound a bit weird but I was meeting a mate for a coffee in town today and I decided to smile at a lady or two just for the purpose of experimentation. And 4 out of 4 smiled back. I found this intriguing.

    I'd normally rather die than intrude but today I decided to just behave more confidently than I probably am and surprisingly nothing bad happened. It's not like I had to draw attention to myself or anything- maybe some people are just happy to engage with those around.


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    #99
    pappyodaniel
    Registered Users Posts: 5,726 ✭✭✭pappyodaniel


    katemarch wrote: »
    I always like being admired. I smile back. They haven't a hope, but why be mean? It's still a compliment!

    Are you attractive?


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    #100
    Precious flower
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,812 ✭✭✭Precious flower


    Tasden wrote: »
    They're just more prominent looking on some people i think

    I have them too, but I think they look weird.:o I couldn't believe when I Googled it and it actually had a name and is considered a sign of beauty!


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    #101
    222233
    Registered Users Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭222233


    i wouldn't consider myself attractive but I think it's flattering when anyone checks you out - personality can win over looks sometimes the less good looking someone is the more they treasure you. Not so good looking people's compliments and stares are equally as nice as good looking peoples :D


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    #102
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Precious flower wrote: »
    I have them too, but I think they look weird.:o I couldn't believe when I Googled it and it actually had a name and is considered a sign of beauty!

    Thank god I'm not the only one who thinks they look weird! :o


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    #103
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    I can understand someone not getting the attraction but I don't get thinking they're weird looking. I'd love to know what people find weird about them :confused: They can't be as weird as belly buttons...


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    #104
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Azalea wrote: »

    There shouldn't be negative reactions to mere glances, smiling, saying hi etc (although I know there are some women who react like right ***** if the man has the audacity not to be attractive to her). It should be taken as a compliment. She should be polite back to him, just not to the point of giving him the wrong idea.
    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    What does checking someone out actually mean? Like staring at them? I think staring at anyone is rude and a bit creepy, but that's just me

    If someone smiles at me - I will always smile back. If someone makes eye contact with me, I will always smile at them.

    I like smiling.

    I regularly catch people staring at me though, sometimes when I catch them they smile, or look away, but sometimes they continue to stare which is really quite weird.
    sup_dude wrote: »
    You know what, I am attractive. It took me a very very long time to realise it (21 years). Not only had I myself convinced I was ugly by secondary school, but I had completely accepted it and was completely ready for a single life when I left secondary school after not one boy showed any bit of interest in me up until that time. I was the only person that year who didn't have a date for the debs. I was even bullied where my complete lack of boys was a favourite topic, so it was really solidified in my mind that I was ugly and that was that.
    When I went to uni, it was a very weird experience. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever had any attention from the opposite gender, and since I'm not trying to be modest in this post, I got a lot of it. It was overwhelming. I kept coming up with excuses for it such as it being dark in a nightclub or that they're just taking the piss, before eventually accepting it. I still didn't believe I was goodlooking as such. I mean, I had spent my whole life being told I had any looks at all by only my mother and family, but being told I was ugly by my "friends". However, after 4 years of it (including getting an amazing boyfriend), I was forced to admit that maybe I wasn't so ugly after all.
    Now? Next week I'm going into a modelling agency in order to discuss a signing. It wasn't something I asked for, the agent found me.
    So yes, I am attractive and I think the mentality this country (and a lot of others have) that someone thinking they're attractive is somehow wrong, is one of the main reasons so many young girls (and boys) have deep rooted insecurities. I don't mean bigheadedness or egotism or the "yeah, I'm just amazing", but I don't believe there's anything wrong with being able to admit that you're attractive. Heck, it took me years to be able to entertain the notion. Even now, I still get periods where my self esteem collapses again, but if I were to give into the idea that we shouldn't admit we're attractive, I would never come out of those lapses. I think this notion we put on ourselves that we shouldn't be allowed to think we're goodlooking, is one of the main reasons so many people have problems with how they look.


    Well done on the modelling contract! Wow, that must be a fantastic feeling after spending so long thinking you were the opposite of a model.

    I'm similar to you (not even close to model material!). I spent years and years thinking I was awful looking, fat and ugly. Then I put on a load of weight, and I was actually fat, and still thought I was ugly. Then gradually I drifted into "not ugly" and also lost weight. I now realise, that I wasn't fat back then when I thought I was fat (nor am I now), and I've not only never been ugly, but I'm actually fairly alright looking. It's a hard thing to try and convince yourself of when you've spent so long feeling like you're less than average.

    It's funny really, that once I realised I'm attractive, I started caring less about whether or not I was attractive. I'm sure there's some psychology behind that.


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    #105
    Zen65
    Registered Users Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    Pac1Man wrote: »
    I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

    Perhaps you could try it for a day? You might be amazed at the difference it makes to your sense of connection to people.


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    #106
    paleoperson
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paleoperson


    Zen65 wrote: »
    Perhaps you could try it for a day? You might be amazed at the difference it makes to your sense of connection to people.

    dunno, as stated earlier it can freak people out a little. I will never use people in public as a playground for experiments, I'll only smile if I feel like it.

    Also there are some places you don't want to even make much eye contact, nevermind going around smiling or things could escalate very quickly and they might end up making a different sort of "connection" to what you mean...


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    #107
    Jim Bob Scratcher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,231 ✭✭✭Jim Bob Scratcher


    paleoperson wrote: »
    dunno, as stated earlier it can freak people out a little. I will never use people in public as a playground for experiments, I'll only smile if I feel like it.

    Also there are some places you don't want to even make much eye contact, nevermind going around smiling or things could escalate very quickly and they might end up making a different sort of "connection" to what you mean...

    Yeah that's exactly what could happen. btw what the fook are ya lookin at ? :pac:


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    #108
    Katgurl
    Registered Users Posts: 2,143 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    My brutally honest answer is that I love being checked out, it's one of the best things about being female. Our looks won't last forever, may aswell enjoy them while we have them. I always smile when I get an admiring glance, after all it's just a look, not a marriage proposal!


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    #109
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    Zen65 wrote: »
    Perhaps you could try it for a day? You might be amazed at the difference it makes to your sense of connection to people.

    It's something that seems so alien to me that it would be so unnatural to even try.

    I'd end up looking like this.


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    #110
    KingBrian2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,363 ✭✭✭KingBrian2


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Someone's going to need to define "checking you out". Is it just staring like I think backwards man asked? Or is it something more?

    Checking you out is a cursory glance of the female form.


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    #111
    cookiexx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 335 ✭✭cookiexx


    The thing is it's alarmingly common if you're female and in any way attractive. If you're in decent shape and your face isn't repulsive, let's say. Or average face and average weight but dressed and groomed well. You'll get checked out, glanced at, stared at, ogled up and down by every male in the room.

    It's less exhausting to just accept is as part of life as a woman than it is to take offence at every lad you wouldn't look at twice looking your way for a bit longer than you find comfortable. It's a compliment at the end of the day, and a nod to the fact that people find you attractive.


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    #112
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Someone's going to need to define "checking you out". Is it just staring like I think backwards man asked? Or is it something more?

    Theres no way to know, usually its when somebodys looking at you. But they could just be looking because you look like somebody they know or theres something behind you, so theres no way to define checking out..


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    #113
    cookiexx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 335 ✭✭cookiexx


    wakka12 wrote: »
    Theres no way to know, usually its when somebodys looking at you. But they could just be looking because you look like somebody they know or theres something behind you, so theres no way to define checking out..

    Ah you know though. Usually it's a pattern of men glancing frequently or staring or smiling or doing a double-take or head-turns-as-you-pass or the up-and-down stare or whatever. Most women will encounter that more than a few times a day depending on how frequently they're out and about and of course how they're dressed etc. At least it will be frequent enough for it to be obvious it's checking out, as opposed to every second man you cross staring because you look "familiar"


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    #114
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me


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    #115
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    anna080 wrote: »
    I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

    Well if the latter is true, you're unlikely to be able to say the former for certain.

    I on the other hand am always very aware of my surroundings.


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    #116
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    anna080 wrote: »
    I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

    If you're the anna who put her pic up in Know Your Lookalikes then the first part of your post is certainly not true!

    If you're not then I can't comment :p


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    #117
    Medusa22
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭Medusa22


    anna080 wrote: »
    I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

    I was thinking the same, I certainly don't have people ogling me the whole time! :p Though, like you, I'm usually daydreaming and not paying attention to anything or I'm completely in my own head so maybe I just don't notice (I hope :pac:)


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    #118
    cookiexx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 335 ✭✭cookiexx


    id have fairly acute situational awareness, maybe because I've lived in lots of big cities and you can't walk around with your head in the clouds coz there's too much at risk.

    i would've thought most women would be tuned into the male attention they get though, seeing as men generally dont tend to be as subtle as women do!


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    #119
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,112 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Women check men out too and obviously attractive men get checked out all the time. It's at a lower background level and it's nearly always much more subtle but it happens and fair play it's natural. Mind you men are usually completely oblivious to it. Women usually have to resort to sending up flares and semaphore. :D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #120
    the evasion_kid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,740 ✭✭✭the evasion_kid


    women I'm convinced have radar, you can be driving down the road and checking them out and just at the last second they turn around and catch you.


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    #121
    Skoop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 52 ✭✭Skoop


    cookiexx wrote: »
    id have fairly acute situational awareness, maybe because I've lived in lots of big cities and you can't walk around with your head in the clouds coz there's too much at risk.

    i would've thought most women would be tuned into the male attention they get though, seeing as men generally dont tend to be as subtle as women do!

    :)
    Women are far from subtle.


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