brutal honesty

biko · 10-11-2015 02:50PM

Interviewer at the job: "What's your biggest flaw?"
Me: "Honesty.."
Interviewer: "I don't think honesty is a flaw?"
Me: "I don't give a **** about what you think.."

Hammer89 · 10-11-2015 04:18PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

Thanks for contributing

I thought we were being honest, ya big bollox.

Little CuChulainn · 10-11-2015 04:22PM

Buzzfeed? The hypocrisy on that site is unreal. Make a video where you are brutally honest with ugly girls and one where you are brutally honest with ugly guys. They will launch a war against the former and feature the latter on their front page.

One eyed Jack · 10-11-2015 04:51PM

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Buzzfeed? The hypocrisy on that site is unreal. Make a video where you are brutally honest with ugly girls and one where you are brutally honest with ugly guys. They will launch a war against the former and feature the latter on their front page.

I only watched the video in the OP after I'd posted.

What a load of contrived shyte! If I were hosting a party and I invited someone, and they said they said they didn't want to go, there's no way I'd spend the next five minutes giving them the opportunity to act the wanker.

That's not even brutal honesty, it's just "notice me, notice me" narcissism. Nobody is actually that important when we're all adults that we would actually waste time asking someone "Why not? But why not? Etc", that's what children do, so it's no surprise that it came from BullFeed :rolleyes:

bucketybuck · 10-11-2015 05:00PM

Billions of people on the planet, all having to interact with others just to keep the whole idea of society moving.

Thats why we all need a little social grease. Little white lies here and there aren't some betrayal of our inner values, there are just the grease that allows us all to live our lives with the minimum of fuss.

Being brutally honest isn't fighting the good fight or doing whats right, its just being a dick.

loves_to_walk · 10-11-2015 05:03PM

brutal honesty is not something you tend to encounter all that often in this country

take a trip to the netherlands or scotland and you will need a thick skin pretty quickly

CruelCoin · 10-11-2015 05:10PM

loves_to_walk wrote: »

brutal honesty is not something you tend to encounter all that often in this country

take a trip to the netherlands or scotland and you will need a thick skin pretty quickly

There's nothing thick skinned about it. It's more to do with not being an ostrich and not having paper-thin skin.

I love my trips back to the motherland, Its a complete breath of fresh air, away from people who say nothing but niceties while meaning something complete different. Its nice to to have to decipher the true meaning of a comment.

bucketybuck · 10-11-2015 05:16PM

There is a world of difference between brutal honesty and two faced dishonesty. Looks like this thread is going to only focus on the two extremes.

DarkyHughes · 10-11-2015 05:28PM

Irish Republicans were right about everything.

smash · 10-11-2015 05:29PM

Does my ass look big in this?
...

Your ass looks big in everything!

Mesrine65 · 10-11-2015 05:32PM

I've always been bluntly honest...

A career in the diplomatic services would not be a good choice for me

beks101 · 10-11-2015 05:34PM

TBH more often than not these "brutal honesty" brigaders are more bitter and hateful towards people in a general sense and lacking in your run-of-the-mill human empathy to the point that they take pride in insulting and shocking others. Instead of actually being committed to telling the truth in social situations as they claim.

I'd equate these little white lies with having a basic grasp of human interaction, good social skills and most of the time, just being a bloody practical human being.

"Not going, don't want to" is never going to stop there. It then becomes "but why?" "but I invited you?" "but X is going to be there?" "but you're doing nothing else?" until you've dug yourself a glorified hole of assholery and isolated yourself from the social group.

When a nice, graceful "you know I'd really love to, but after the week I've had I'm fit for nothing but a few soaps and an early night" costs nothing, goes a lot further and doesn't earn you a sh1tty reputation.

CruelCoin · 10-11-2015 05:48PM

beks101 wrote: »

"Not going, don't want to" is never going to stop there. It then becomes "but why?" "but I invited you?" "but X is going to be there?" "but you're doing nothing else?" until you've dug yourself a glorified hole of assholery and isolated yourself from the social group.

Its true, blunt honesty isn't for everyone, and as a result i don't have a massive group of friends.
But those i do have would roll through coals for me, as i would do for them.
Its actually quite good as its a self reinforcing quality over quantity.

10-11-2015 05:51PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

Its true, blunt honesty isn't for everyone, and as a result i don't have a massive group of friends.
But those i do have would roll through coals for me, as i would do for them.
Its actually quite good as its a self reinforcing quality over quantity.

Being tactful with your friends doesn't make them bad friends. It just makes you tactful. I don't feel the need to test my friends by disregarding their feelings by being 'blunt', or as I call it 'brusque'.

beks101 · 10-11-2015 05:52PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

Its true, blunt honesty isn't for everyone, and as a result i don't have a massive group of friends.
But those i do have would roll through coals for me, as i would do for them.
Its actually quite good as its a self reinforcing quality over quantity.

You can also have quality over quantity by surrounding yourself with friends who give a damn about other people's feelings and being a pleasant human being in a general sense.

Steve F · 10-11-2015 05:55PM

ThinkProgress wrote: »

It really depends on the individual you're talking to.... people who know me very well, I have no issues being very blunt with. Most find it amusing because I do it in a semi-serious tongue in cheek style.

People who are d!ckfaces, and I strongly dislike them, again zero issue...

But there are some people that it just feels wrong not to sugar-coat some things for their benefit. Like young children and very old people... (I just don't have the heart to do it to them - plus my sarcasm would likely go right over their heads... so would be a bit pointless anyway lol)

But yeah, generally I love being incredibly blunt and insensitive wherever humanly possible!

I'm just living for the day that someone can invent a "sarcasm font" I can then use it as my default one

DEFTLEFTHAND · 10-11-2015 06:00PM

Lol just thinking to myself here the kind of upset I'd cause if I let my real feelings be known to family and friends. I'm sure I'd be fairly shook if I heard theirs too.

One eyed Jack · 10-11-2015 06:01PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

Its true, blunt honesty isn't for everyone, and as a result i don't have a massive group of friends.
But those i do have would roll through coals for me, as i would do for them.
Its actually quite good as its a self reinforcing quality over quantity.

I think there's a world of a difference though between blunt honesty, and brutal honesty. Being blunt with people isn't intended to be offensive, it is what it is, but brutal honesty is just unnecessary.

We all have friends who would roll through coals for us in fairness, but being brutally honest is just looking to kick people up the hole while they're walking barefoot through coals.

And I don't have to choose between quality or quantity either when I can have both, and depending upon their own personalities, they're likely to appreciate either me being blunt with them, or being a bit more tactful.

People are all different, nothing really to do with anyone's birth country. It's simply being a matter of being aware of other people rather than thinking only of yourself all the time.

Samaris · 10-11-2015 06:16PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

People are all different, nothing really to do with anyone's birth country. It's simply being a matter of being aware of other people rather than thinking only of yourself all the time.

Oh true, and I didn't mean to imply that all English are X or Dutch are Y, but there are slightly different standards to which people hold themselves to dependent on their region, background, customs and the like. I'm not saying one is better than the other - the Irish propensity for talking around a subject until they've circled it thirteen times drives me cracked at times - but they are there.

Figbiscuithead · 10-11-2015 06:28PM

CruelCoin wrote: »

No.

Being dutch, i like to think i'm honest in what i say/do. What do you gain by lying? Are you somehow doing someone a service by telling them a lie?

You're being ruder if you don't answer the question asked and if you attempt to sugar coat it.

Keeping your mouth zipped is not lying, though. I simply don't feel the need to say what's on my mind all the time. I met a Dutch girl travelling who gave me an example of your culture: she arrived home from a few months in Asia and had put on a few pounds and one of the first things her family said to her when they greeted her at the airport was, "You've put on weight". Indeed they didn't lie and told her the absolute truth but I don't get why they had to say anything at all She wasn't overweight, she'd just come back from travelling and they hadn't seen her in months. It's similar in other European countries and fair play to them if they can stick it but it ain't for me.

One eyed Jack · 10-11-2015 06:29PM

Samaris wrote: »

Oh true, and I didn't mean to imply that all English are X or Dutch are Y, but there are slightly different standards to which people hold themselves to dependent on their region, background, customs and the like. I'm not saying one is better than the other - the Irish propensity for talking around a subject until they've circled it thirteen times drives me cracked at times - but they are there.

Ohh I wasn't directing that at you Samaris, it was just CruelCoin seemed to be associating being blunt with being Dutch (I don't think they really meant brutal honesty, certainly hasn't been my experience with Dutch people, like I said, they're all different), but I know what you mean too.

I think most people know how to engage in social interaction, whereas this "brutal honesty" nonsense reminds me of someone who is socially stunted, the Sheldon Cooper types or the type that's likely to parrot the Stephen Fry quote at every opportunity.

ThinkProgress · 10-11-2015 08:02PM

captbarnacles wrote: »

Ah yes, I'm not an obnoxious cnut I just behave like one.

Nah, more like this is how I feel... and I'm going to make it very clear and obvious to you exactly what that is!

Less ambiguity!

beks101 wrote: »

they take pride in insulting and shocking others.

I will admit there is an element of shock value in it. (and lot's of fun to be garnered from that)

But it's mostly that I find people that tip-toe around everything... to be boring and tiresome.

They are the same people that take life WAAAY too seriously and are always stressed out about something. So naturally they seem to assume everybody else is hyper sensitive just like them!

I'm a very difficult person to offend. I do have the skin of a rhino. I can take it just as much as I give it out.... I understand how to be tactful and sensitive when the situation REALLY calls for it.

But there are many everyday scenarios that simply don't require that measured cautious approach. I would find life insufferable if I had to go around acting like that 24/7.... I honestly don't know how some of you people do it. :P

doulikeit · 10-11-2015 10:15PM

Paddy: You've put on a few pounds Mick u fat bustard.

Mick: Your mum loves it says it suits me, at least thats what I thought she said there was something in her mouth

efb · 10-11-2015 10:30PM

are we still discussing justifying be a dick?

harry Bailey esq · 10-11-2015 10:47PM

Honestly doesn't need brutality to deliver,a bit of courtious tact usually does the job.

ThinkProgress · 10-11-2015 11:02PM

One eyed Jack · 10-11-2015 11:16PM

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Sooo badass!

ThinkProgress · 10-11-2015 11:30PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Sooo badass!

:cool:

brutal honesty

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