Caught my neighbour cheating

Hammer89 · 10-11-2015 01:26AM

spud82 wrote: »

:D:D:D:D

If that fails Ill use my feminine charm on him and honey trap him hahah

I'm sure you could. I know for a fact he views you as the girl next door type.

spud82 · 10-11-2015 01:27AM

Hammer89 wrote: »

I'm sure you could. I know for a fact he views you as the girl next door type.

I will meet you by the bins in ten mins, wear your red dressing gown it's super sexy

nullzero · 10-11-2015 01:28AM

spud82 wrote: »

Hey all

Was out at the weekend and saw my neighbour all of this woman who wasn't his wife. I than went into the bar and saw him peck her on the lips before they left the bar together.

My neighbour and his wife has 4 kids, I babysat them when they were younger. I feel so bad about this and so sorry for his wife. I know it's not my business but I feel so bad.

Worst is they are hosting a X mas party in a few weeks in their house, and I can't get out of it. I feel so sorry for her and the kids

This is a truly complex situation with layers of possibilities for your possible action or inaction, a wife's feelings and by extension the future of these people's marriage and the likely knock on effects that may be felt by their children are all important factors, but what is most important and an absolute truism in this case is, to mind your own fvcking business and steer clear of other people's bullshyt.

spud82 · 10-11-2015 01:29AM

nullzero wrote: »

This is a truly complex situation with layers of possibilities for your possible action or inaction, a wife's feelings and by extension the future of these people's marriage and the likely knock on effects that may be felt by their children are all important factors, but what is most important and an absolute truism in this case is, to mind your own fvcking business and steer clear of other people's bullshyt.

I am. As I said in this post i just wanted to get it off my chest. I am not saying it to anyone at all, I just needed to let it out of my mind.

Hammer89 · 10-11-2015 01:33AM

spud82 wrote: »

I will meet you by the bins in ten mins, wear your red dressing gown it's super sexy

I need a **** now.

NachoBusiness · 10-11-2015 01:34AM

spud82 wrote: »

I am. As I said in this post i just wanted to get it off my chest. I am not saying it to anyone at all, I just needed to let it out of my mind.

It's a pity you didn't record it.

This guy happened upon his best friend's girlfriend hooking up with some other guy in a club and he filmed it..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cf8EeaassAU

Most likely if he didn't film it, she'd just have accused the friend of stirring.
The messenger usually gets shot in such situations I'd suspect as people will do anything they can rather than face an uncomfortable truth.

Diabhal Beag · 10-11-2015 01:45AM

Nobody likes a grass

spud82 · 10-11-2015 01:49AM

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Nobody likes a grass

I am not saying nothing

Diabhal Beag · 10-11-2015 01:55AM

spud82 wrote: »

I am not saying nothing

It's a bad situation to be in tbh. You lose respect for a person and yet you don't know enough details to have a proper grasp of both sides. Could be a whole mental story behind it.

MadYaker · 10-11-2015 02:07AM

You don't have enough information to make a good decision here. Either try to find out more details about what is going on by observing him or her, or else forget about it.

MadsL · 10-11-2015 02:30AM

MadYaker wrote: »

You don't have enough information to make a good decision here. Either try to find out more details about what is going on by observing him or her, or else forget about it.

It's not the OPs decision at all. well out of it would be the best advice.

A poster's name is relevant here..."Nachobusiness"!!

KomradeBishop · 10-11-2015 03:43AM

Don't mind all the kneejerk 'mind your own business' Omerta folk - it's not for them to say whose business it is, that's up to the person (potentially) being cheated on, on whether they'd welcome being told.

If you have reason to believe she'd welcome being told her partner was cheating, can go ahead and (anonymously, for your own sake) tell her - otherwise, wait, and you could try to suss out if it'd be welcome over time, since it sounds like you're in semi-regular social contact.

He may not be cheating, but if you know/find-out that she'd welcome being informed, that makes the remaining set of harmful/bad consequences of informing (that aren't a result of the cheating itself) pretty small.

sonny.knowles · 10-11-2015 09:47AM

humberklog wrote: »

Get your ****ing nose out of their ****ing business you nosy ****.

Snitches get stitches, eh?

keithclancy · 10-11-2015 09:52AM

sonny.knowles wrote: »

Snitches get stitches, eh?

Not really, just you don't know what the situation is.

It's could be possible for example that the wife knows all about it but might not be too happy that you know about it for example.

Alf Veedersane · 10-11-2015 10:02AM

spud82 wrote: »

Worst is they are hosting a X mas party in a few weeks in their house, and I can't get out of it. I feel so sorry for her and the kids

Don't. The wife and kids probably don't hate you to the point that you'd ruin the party.

etoughguy · 10-11-2015 10:04AM

In theory its none of your business and you're better off saying fook all
Thats easy for me to say!

wakka12 · 10-11-2015 10:12AM

They could be divorced for all you know. One of my friends in college lives with her parents and 2 siblings but her parents are in an open relationship, as in both of them can and do see other men and women and both parties are comfortable with the arrangement. I find it odd but theyre happy with it. I also know divorced couples who live together with their children in the same house but don't announce to everyone theyre divorced.

Think before you do or say anything to embarrass yourself.
Also the fact that he met her in a busy public place, where Im sure he could easily bump into lots of people he knows, who know thats not his wife, makes me think he's not doing it behind her back.

arayess · 10-11-2015 10:15AM

seeing a fella hanging off some woman in a bar and kissing her is flakey ground to potentially break up a family.

You've no idea the context.

If the party is a big issue for you , cry off sick.
I just don't get the notion that his misbehaviour would upset you that much that you can't spend some time socialising with them without getting in a flap.
Why would you feel bad? Do you often impose your emotions into others situations?
i could understand if the wife was your sister or somebody close to you.
I'm sure you won't be talking about the state of their marriage so you won't be required to lie or anything.

Subcomandante Marcos · 10-11-2015 10:20AM

Hey op,
For all you know they have a poly-amorous or open relationship and this woman is their unicorn (Google it) or they met her on a swinging site.

Either way, it's none of your business.

superfurry1 · 10-11-2015 10:33AM

Kissing other women in a bar/club on a lads night out happens to 99.9% of men if anyone disagrees just give it time:P the other .1% are that guy from the bank of ireland ad stephen and rachel rachel and stephen dim wit who has bigger problems:D

OldGoat · 10-11-2015 10:36AM

and saw him peck her on the lips before they left the bar together.

So a kiss in greeting or parting is now cheating? That means I've been cheating with most my friends.
Then again, so has my missus!
I WILL turn this to my advantage somehow.

Hyzepher · 10-11-2015 10:41AM

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Follow him on Friday night with a decent surveillance cam. Set up stream to it online so we can all watch. As he's walking to his hall door approach him and tell him you know, and that a few hundred people online do too, and that we're all watching. Point to the cam. Then tell him that we all know your name and address and so if anything happens you, like you suddenly disappear, we're all going to the police. Then tell him he must come clean to his wife that night, or else. Then give him the cam and say we're all gonna watch to make sure he does it.

Sounds like an episode of Trent!

MRnotlob606 · 10-11-2015 10:43AM

Become a crane. Attach feathers to yourself and take the children under your own wing.

Hammer89 · 10-11-2015 10:43AM

Nothing is ever anybody's business on this site in my experience.

"Just saw three arabic men with lots of dynamite strapped to their chest get on a Dublin bus."

"Leave it OP it's none of your business. For all you know they were Dime bars and not dynamite, or maybe they're just playing a prank."

rafatoni · 10-11-2015 10:44AM

OP, Tell his missus on Christmas day when they kids are opening the pressies, we will all knock around for it. Be like Christmas in Albert Square only in person.

Samaris · 10-11-2015 10:46AM

OldGoat wrote: »

So a kiss in greeting or parting is now cheating? That means I've been cheating with most my friends.
Then again, so has my missus!
I WILL turn this to my advantage somehow.

Well now, a kiss on the cheek is one thing, and even that's relatively rare amongst Irish people, but a kiss on the lips isn't exactly a common hello/farewell between married friends (who aren't married to each other).

And let's face it, polyamory and the likes isn't exactly -common- here either. I don't say it's unheard of, but cheating is probably the more likely. Although honestly, if it was an open relationship, then saying it would do no harm and would relieve your mind. Not that I'm advocating that at the moment.

I'd feel rotten about the situation too if I was friends with both of them; it's all very well to say "it's none of your business" when none of us are IN the situation and don't know exactly how close socially you are to either of them.

I don't have an answer here, and it sounds like you've decided where you're going with it anyway. If he's that careless to be cheating in public like that, he's going to get caught eventually, and in a more...what's the word...inarguable way than your brief sighting. It probably IS best to leave it be unless you're close enough to the wife for it to feel like a betrayal to not. Possibly he'll get it out of his system and cop the hell on, in which case, least said, soonest mended.

etoughguy · 10-11-2015 10:47AM

Hammer89 wrote: »

Nothing is ever anybody's business on this site in my experience.

"Just saw three arabic men with lots of dynamite strapped to their chest get on a Dublin bus."

"Leave it OP it's none of your business. For all you know they were Dime bars and not dynamite, or maybe they're just playing a prank."

What number bus was that?

spurious · 10-11-2015 10:47AM

Did he see you in the bar? Does he know you might have seen him?

Jayop · 10-11-2015 10:51AM

etoughguy wrote: »

What number bus was that?

Mind your own business.

etoughguy · 10-11-2015 10:55AM

Jayop wrote: »

Mind your own business.

fair enough was only asking
kinda worrying a load of mad heads going around the place with bombs attached to themselves though

Caught my neighbour cheating

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