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Stupidest thing you've overheard?

24567

Comments

  • #32
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    gramar wrote: »
    I was in the back row on a flight last week. Opposite were two girls and one empty seat. A couple of rows ahead there were 3 empty seats together.
    One suggested moving there as there were 3 free seats. The other agreed and up they both got and moved.

    So they moved from seats that presumably didn't recline to seats that did recline, but still had the extra free seat to stretch their legs out or not be squashed by a fat person.

    I can understand why you felt stupid.

    ;)


  • #33
    Gwynplaine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭Gwynplaine


    In school, 6th class. Teacher asks. "What language do Eskimos speak?"
    Fella puts up his hand. "Sure Eskimos can't talk"
    Whole class fell around the place the laughing.


  • #34
    corner of hells
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,439 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    I worked as an electrician for about twenty years , sent an apprentice of to get me a piece of cable 10metres long .

    As he walked off he shouted back to me " 10metres , corner ? "

    Yeah , says I .

    He arrived back with ten pieces of cable , a metre in length.


  • #35
    asherbassad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,869 ✭✭✭asherbassad


    Senior Spielbergo wrote: »
    Can be in public, at home, wherever.

    I was in Waterford over the weekend and was walking behind two girls, one of which were just after using the ATM(Bank of Ireland)
    When her friend says: "You're so lucky your bank machine is so close to town. I have to go searching everywhere for an AIB one"
    Luckily her friend was as astounded as I was and was trying to tell her you can actually use your card in every machine!
    She wasnt having any of it though!

    Stupidest thing you've overheard?

    I have a BOI savings account. It only works in Bank of Ireland Machines.
    Some shops like random Spars have a BOI 365 machine but most don't.

    It's possible that AIB also have an account that only dispenses from AIB machines. Nobody is that thick that they wouldn't try the card in another machine. NOBODY.


  • #36
    asherbassad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,869 ✭✭✭asherbassad


    gramar wrote: »
    I was in the back row on a flight last week. Opposite were two girls and one empty seat. A couple of rows ahead there were 3 empty seats together.
    One suggested moving there as there were 3 free seats. The other agreed and up they both got and moved.

    Oh no....they didn't, did they?

    I wonder if the penny dropped when they sat down.


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  • #37
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    sonny.knowles wrote: »
    So they moved from seats that presumably didn't recline to seats that did recline, but still had the extra free seat to stretch their legs out or not be squashed by a fat person.

    I can understand why you felt stupid.

    ;)

    No Sonny, let me explain, they were in a row of 3 Ryanair seats (the non reclining ones) , two of which were occupied by them...the other was unoccupied and the doors were closed at this stage. They moved to another row of 3 Ryanair seats (also the non reclining ones) all unoccupied until they were sitting in them leaving behind a row of 3 empty seats.


  • #38
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    asherbassad wrote: »
    Oh no....they didn't, did they?

    I wonder if the penny dropped when they sat down.

    I don't know but it hasn't dropped for Sonny Knowles yet.


  • #39
    TrustedApple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,678 ✭✭✭TrustedApple


    In the old job on the menu we used to give you 3 options for what kind of pasta to have with your sauce.

    Can i have the Spaghetti, Tagliatelle, Penne carbonara ?.

    Sorry sir what pasta would you like with your carbonara ?.

    The Spaghetti, Tagliatelle, Penne.

    Sorry sir thats 3 different kinds of pasta what one would you like with your carbonara ?.

    Whats the difference there all the same pasta.

    Facepam.


  • #40
    Froggy123
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 109 ✭✭Froggy123


    In a costume shop around Halloween a guy was asking the shop assistant could he get some red contact lenses.

    'No problem' says the shop assistant and hands him some.

    The guy trying to buy them looked confused for a second and asked 'do you have any contacts that have a red centre with a white background?'

    Shop assistant (looking visibly astonished) was like the white part is your actual eye.


  • #41
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    gramar wrote: »
    No Sonny, let me explain, they were in a row of 3 Ryanair seats (the non reclining ones) , two of which were occupied by them...the other was unoccupied and the doors were closed at this stage. They moved to another row of 3 Ryanair seats (also the non reclining ones) all unoccupied until they were sitting in them leaving behind a row of 3 empty seats.

    Makes a bit more sense now, thanks gramar - not mentioning that both sets of seats are non reclining is a fairly major oversight, since you didn't mention the airline either, who were we to know that none of them reclined? Not sure how relevant the doors being closed is, but I would recommend proof reading theses sort of posts before posting.

    I have sat at the last row on a flight only once, near the toilet, seat didn't recline etc, I would have moved had I had the opportunity.


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  • #42
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    Froggy123 wrote: »
    In a costume shop around Halloween a guy was asking the shop assistant could he get some red contact lenses.

    'No problem' says the shop assistant and hands him some.

    The guy trying to buy them looked confused for a second and asked 'do you have any contacts that have a red centre with a white background?'

    Shop assistant (looking visibly astonished) was like the white part is your actual eye.

    Maybe he had pink or brown eye that eh wanted to hide. :)


  • #43
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    gramar wrote: »
    I don't know but it hasn't dropped for Sonny Knowles yet.

    Funny guy - if you could tell a proper story it might help.


  • #44
    booooring!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 261 ✭✭booooring!


    Met a friend in the dole office when I was on the dole signing and said to him quite loudly "Are you working in the local tonight?" I knew he was getting cash in hand and nearly threw up when I said it. Ended up nothing been said about it thank christ!


  • #45
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    sonny.knowles wrote: »
    Funny guy - if you could tell a proper story it might help.

    It was only you that needed the ladybird version. Log on to Boards Jr next time.


  • #46
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    gramar wrote: »
    It was only you that needed the ladybird version. Log on to Boards Jr next time.

    Jesus, don't take it so badly, you told (or possibly made up) a poor story, no biggie. I'm sure you have other talents. Keep looking, you'll eventually discover them.


  • #47
    CageWager
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 545 ✭✭✭CageWager


    American guy on a tram in San Diego ranting about the "goddam Indians coming over from Pakistan"


  • #48
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    sonny.knowles wrote: »
    Jesus, don't take it so badly, you told (or possibly made up) a poor story, no biggie. I'm sure you have other talents. Keep looking, you'll eventually discover them.

    Troll on.


  • #49
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    gramar wrote: »
    Troll on.

    Sorry, dude, I just called it like I saw it. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings. :(


  • #50
    Kev W
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭Kev W


    It's getting very "Mean Girls" in here altogether.


  • #51
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    Kev W wrote: »
    It's getting very "Mean Girls" in here altogether.

    Yeah, commenting on someone else's stupidity while leaving yourself open to the same claim was never going to end well for our friend. Live and learn I suppose.


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  • #52
    tayto lover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 57,077 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    Two girls taking aloud in the bus depot in Dundalk.

    1." I see you got your new boots."
    2. "Yeah, I tried 4 shops looking for them."
    1. "Where did you get them?"
    2. "In the last one."

    I got up and rushed out before bursting into a mad bout of laughing.


  • #53
    gramar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,045 ✭✭✭✭gramar


    sonny.knowles wrote: »
    Yeah, commenting on someone else's stupidity while leaving yourself open to the same claim was never going to end well for our friend. Live and learn I suppose.

    Seems those who thanked the post didn't have the same difficulties as you.
    Maybe if you spent less time on being passive agressive.


  • #54
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    gramar wrote: »
    Seems those who thanked the post didn't have the same difficulties as you.
    Maybe if you spent less time on being passive agressive.

    I think they were probably sympathy thanks. Sounds like they were misplaced either way.


  • #55
    Rock77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,123 ✭✭✭Rock77


    Game of eye spy.

    My brother, aged 17 at the time.
    My niece aged 13
    My nephew aged 9

    Niece 'something beginning with n'

    Nephew 'envelope'

    Brother laughs for 5 mins then says.... 'knife'!!!!!!!!


  • #56
    sonny.knowles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭sonny.knowles


    Rock77 wrote: »
    Game of eye spy.

    My brother, aged 17 at the time.
    My niece aged 13
    My nephew aged 9

    Niece 'something beginning with n'

    Nephew 'envelope'

    Brother laughs for 5 mins then says.... 'knife'!!!!!!!!

    See that's a proper story, well done Rock77.


  • #57
    Tell me how
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 24,747 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Can I suggest some of the comments here as my contribution to the thread?


  • #58
    dinorebel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,436 ✭✭✭dinorebel


    TrustedApple wrote: »
    In the old job on the menu we used to give you 3 options for what kind of pasta to have with your sauce.

    Can i have the Spaghetti, Tagliatelle, Penne carbonara ?.

    Sorry sir what pasta would you like with your carbonara ?.

    The Spaghetti, Tagliatelle, Penne.

    Sorry sir thats 3 different kinds of pasta what one would you like with your carbonara ?.

    Whats the difference there all the same pasta.

    Facepam.


    Heard someone say facepam the other day.


  • #59
    Hammer Archer
    Moderators, Sports Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 11,938 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hammer Archer


    Walking out of the cinema after watching the first Madagascar movie, a child in front says to his mother: "I want to go to Madagascar".
    To which his mother replies: "It's not a real place love, they only made up the name for the film".


  • #60
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Mod

    Can we cut out the off topic and personal comments please.







    Mine is an ex who asked how far out to sea would you have to swim before you could turn back and swim under Ireland...


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  • #61
    kerry bhoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 54 ✭✭kerry bhoy


    At work one day.

    girl : a wasp is after stinging me

    me: ya, where ?

    girl: over there by the window


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