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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username · 2015-08-31 16:37:03

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.) 1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to…

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#1472 26-10-2015 03:37AM

GrayFox208

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MY CUP OF TEA wrote: »

people who wear hipster glasses...without any lenses!
Get some lenses sunshine, you obviously have a problem with your eyesight if you cant see that you look like a fu(king tosser!

Or those idiots who wear big frame glasses and go around "lol I'm such a nerd haha" YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN GET T'FCUK. I HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DONT? I GET HEADACHES AND CANT SEE.

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#1473 26-10-2015 03:39AM

white van man pyh90tm

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people who complain to cabbin crew on planes that their coffee is cold, forgetting the fact that they are sitting inside a 3 mm thick metal tube doing 500 mph at 45 000 feet. i always tell them to go to starbucks.

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#1474 26-10-2015 03:44AM

GrayFox208

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white van man pyh90tm wrote: »

people who complain to cabbin crew on planes that their coffee is cold, forgetting the fact that they are sitting inside a 3 mm thick metal tube doing 500 mph at 45 000 feet. i always tell them to go to starbucks.

But I'm on an aeropla- YOU SIR HAVE OFFENDED MY HONOUR AND I DEMAND SATISFACTION.

I CHALLENGE I SAY I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.

PISTOLS AT DAWN I SAY PISTOLS AT DAWN.

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#1475 26-10-2015 03:44AM

white van man pyh90tm

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

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#1476 26-10-2015 03:47AM

GrayFox208

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white van man pyh90tm wrote: »

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

*slaps you with a glove* SATISFACTION SIR. I DEMAND SATISFACTION.

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#1477 26-10-2015 09:22AM

Boom_Bap

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I went to the mind, body and soul festival thing in the RDS yesterday. It was like wanker city.

Not a dig out genuine spiritual people there But the f*ckers giving you their price list before you even know what they do while trying to look into your soul.

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#1478 26-10-2015 10:32AM

chillin117

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Aspirational people on the Avaition forum who use ''Pilot to be'' type user names and refer to passengers as Pax. ****

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#1479 26-10-2015 10:52AM

[Deleted User]
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storker wrote: »

I don't get this one. Are you saying the barista is the wanker? Wasn't he/she just respecting the right of the hipster to be a dick?

I took it that the hipster was being the wanker

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#1480 26-10-2015 10:55AM

Colser

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I was at a seminar in work during the week and there was about 12 of us in the room.We were asked to introduce ourselves and state which department we worked in which we all did but no one mentioned what their position was until it came to one woman who added in that she was a manager.No one else did this and she was second last to speak.We all know thats shes a tosser anyway but she just keeps proving it. People like this make me sick and at the same time I pity the fools.

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#1481 26-10-2015 10:59AM

Arciphel

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People who give out about Apple/Andriod devices being crap compared to Andriod/Apple devices... Delete as appropriate.

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#1482 26-10-2015 11:13AM

DrPhilG

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[Deleted User] wrote: »

I took it that the hipster was being the wanker

Its the obvious choice, since it's in their nature anyway.

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#1483 26-10-2015 11:17AM

matrim

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white van man pyh90tm wrote: »

people who complain to cabbin crew on planes that their coffee is cold, forgetting the fact that they are sitting inside a 3 mm thick metal tube doing 500 mph at 45 000 feet. i always tell them to go to starbucks.

If the coffee is free then I agree with you. If you're paying 3 or 4 euro for it then they can go to the effort of making it hot.

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#1484 26-10-2015 02:59PM

Potential Underachiever

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GrayFox208 wrote: »

But I'm on an aeropla- YOU SIR HAVE OFFENDED MY HONOUR AND I DEMAND SATISFACTION.

I CHALLENGE I SAY I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.

PISTOLS AT DAWN I SAY PISTOLS AT DAWN.

GrayFox208 wrote: »

*slaps you with a glove* SATISFACTION SIR. I DEMAND SATISFACTION.

Ok Charlie

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#1485 26-10-2015 10:25PM

storker

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Deleted User wrote: »

I took it that the hipster was being the wanker

That makes more sense but I think the rolleyes was in the wrong place.

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#1486 27-10-2015 06:48PM

Robsweezie

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Childish/Tit for tat mentality. They can never be the bigger person in any situation. If they feel they've been even slightly wronged, they always seek their own little revenge. And they always need the last word in an argument, because everything is a competition to them.

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#1487 28-10-2015 01:50AM

lanos

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matrim wrote: »

If the coffee is free then I agree with you. If you're paying 3 or 4 euro for it then they can go to the effort of making it hot.

Nothing is really free
Therefore you have paid for it indirectly
So it should be hot

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#1488 28-10-2015 06:42AM

Brendan Bendar

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If you start most of your sentences with "So" " you are an UberWanker.

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#1489 28-10-2015 10:01AM

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

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Brendan Bendar wrote: »

If you start most of your sentences with "So" " you are an UberWanker.

Using the word 'uber' in a sentence and putting it before a word it has no business being beside. It's uberpointless and ubertosserish. :pac:

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#1490 28-10-2015 11:54AM

5rtytry56

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Anyone who treats someone they don't understand as if they were giving them the two fingers.

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#1491 28-10-2015 11:58AM

sonny.knowles

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Brendan Bendar wrote: »

If you start most of your sentences with "So" " you are an UberWanker.

Does this extend to posts on boards.ie? If so, you have just outed yourself as an 'UberWanker', mate.

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#1492 28-10-2015 12:14PM

x43r0

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People who use terms like 'Bud', 'Buddy', 'Kid', 'Sport' to address you when they've just met you 10 mins ago

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#1493 28-10-2015 12:19PM

OldNotWIse

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Robsweezie wrote: »

Childish/Tit for tat mentality. They can never be the bigger person in any situation. If they feel they've been even slightly wronged, they always seek their own little revenge. And they always need the last word in an argument, because everything is a competition to them.

No it's not! :pac:

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#1494 28-10-2015 12:54PM

brian_7070

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Brendan Bendar wrote: »

If you start most of your sentences with "So" " you are an UberWanker.

I once saw some respond to a comment on boards with "Ah-ha So ....."
I think that qualifies him as a wanker

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#1495 28-10-2015 12:58PM

Ash.J.Williams

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brian_7070 wrote: »

I once saw some respond to a comment on boards with "Ah-ha So ....."
I think that qualifies him as a wanker

he could have been a 60's american actor playing the part of a japanese person

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#1496 28-10-2015 12:59PM

brian_7070

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just like to clarify he was being serious and not an doing an Alan Partridge impression

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#1497 28-10-2015 01:00PM

brian_7070

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Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

he could have been a 60's american actor playing the part of a japanese person

I hope for his sake that that was the case

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#1498 28-10-2015 01:05PM

Ash.J.Williams

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x43r0 wrote: »

People who use terms like 'Bud', 'Buddy', 'Kid', 'Sport' to address you when they've just met you 10 mins ago

thanks lad

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#1499 28-10-2015 02:07PM

waraf

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Slow drivers that speed up as soon as you start to overtake them. ****.

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#1500 28-10-2015 03:44PM

bodhrandude

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booooring! wrote: »

People posting pictures with their arm out, 2 fingers up doing the peace sign, head tilted to the side and making a trout face.

People who say u okay Hun?

People who call people kid! What gives you the right to call people kid? A war veteran should only be allowed to call people kid.

People wishing their grandparents happy birthday even though their not on face book.

Generally men with a diamond ear ring are ****.

I don't see anything wrong with these sayings, the first one bolded would come across to me as being affectionate and likely something someone in your family would say. The second one my sister would use to address me sometimes as I'm the youngest in the family, so sort of makes sense, I'm the kid of the family.

If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)

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#1501 28-10-2015 03:48PM

xabi

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Brendan Bendar wrote: »

If you start most of your sentences with "So" " you are an UberWanker.

Do you mean like this post by you?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=97516844

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This discussion has been closed.