Theories you have made up / believe to be true

magic_murph · 22-10-2015 12:56PM #1

Have you any theories that aren't proven, aren't an exact science but things that you believe in but wouldn't really discuss in public for fear of being lynched.

Like believing in Aliens - no real proof but with the vast amount of planets and galaxies we know of there has to be other life etc.

Life after death
Reincarnation etc

I am not saying I have made up the theory of aliens, life after death or reincarnation

Stranger Danger · 22-10-2015 12:59PM

Men have nipples so that they can pretend to be women when they masturbate.

22-10-2015 12:59PM

I have a theory that heavy people really ought to be jolly. It still surprises me when they aren't.

smash · 22-10-2015 01:00PM

The zombie apocalypse could happen. But the people wouldn't necessarily be dead, it'd be more like the rage virus from 28 days later.

All it takes is for a stain of the rabis to become airborne. But that's highly unlikely.

OldGoat · 22-10-2015 01:10PM

Due to urban sprawl fairies now reside in traffic lights rather than rings in the grass.

tomwaterford · 22-10-2015 01:11PM

That contestants on likes of X factor are hand picked to a certain extent beforehand and encouraged to enter with near gaurneteed success to the later stages for them!

Potatoeman · 22-10-2015 01:13PM

magic_murph wrote: »

Have you any theories that aren't proven, aren't an exact science but things that you believe in but wouldn't really discuss in public for fear of being lynched.

Like believing in Aliens - no real proof but with the vast amount of planets and galaxies we know of there has to be other life etc.

Life after death
Reincarnation etc

I am not saying I have made up the theory of aliens, life after death or reincarnation

Lookup the drake equation.

smash · 22-10-2015 01:15PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

That contestants on likes of X factor are hand picked to a certain extent beforehand and encouraged to enter with near gaurneteed success to the later stages for them!

This is true to the extent that they're vetted by a panel before they even audition for the judges.

Also, wasn't there an Irish girl who was phoned and asked to re-audition a year after she was booted out of judges houses, and she was told "you really should come back, we have a feeling this could be your year!". And she was encouraged to play up on a sob story from her past.

fizzypish · 22-10-2015 01:16PM

If your level of heterosexuality is greater than your level of homophobia then you should have a vested interest in all your friends being homosexual.
Proof:
Note1: Personal appearance, intelligence and “chemistry” are ignored for this proof. The maths, maths and only the maths.
Note2: Got to ignore the occurrence of bisexuality too or it messes everything up

20 People in a room (including you). 50/50 male to female split. It is in your best interest if all 9 of the guys are gay (3 couples and 1 three some???) as it leaves you with 100% chance of attracting a mate.

With this in mind, if you have suspicions that one of your mates is gay you should encourage him to follow this path.
Due to the sheer volume of research about the group you’re out with required, this is not a feasible theory to test on the fly but the following should give rough odds…..

Int chance_of_scoring( men_tot, men_G,wom_tot)
{
If (heterosexuality > homophobia)
{
Men_opposition = men_tot- men_G
Odds_of_scoring = (wom_tot/ Men_opposition)*100
Return (Odds_of_scoring)
}
else
{
printf("Why are you more interested in hating people than getting lucky?")
}
}

Read a book called the forever war that had some pretty interesting ideas on the topic. Anyway......

tomwaterford · 22-10-2015 01:17PM

smash wrote: »

This is true to the extent that they're vetted by a panel before they even audition for the judges.

Also, wasn't there an Irish girl who was phoned and asked to re-audition a year after she was booted out of judges houses, and she was told "you really should come back, we have a feeling this could be your year!". And she was encouraged to play up on a sob story from her past.

I have heard friend of a friend story's of this happening....I thinks it's awlfully exploitive and heavily scripted ****e playing on people's dreams....:mad:

**im just usually angry due to being sick today

magic_murph · 22-10-2015 01:25PM

The X factor thing is a cert
Same a justin Beiber
Music Exec - not sure If we should pump money into this guy or not
Music Exec buddy - I have an idea – why don’t we fire him up on Youtube, free, get him to release a few songs there and see what reaction we get.
Build him up on youtube for a while, get him on big TV shows now that he was ‘found’ by Usher

Next thing you know you have a massive ‘star’ ready to take on the world without really having to spend the millions on advertising etc that would normally happen.

The X factor show is just cruel at this stage
John – your great, have a seat. (Best day of his life)
5 mins later
John – your not as great as mary – give her your seat and go sign on. (Hear broken)
5 mins later
John – actually your not as good as mary but you are better the bob. Have a seat back (emotionally drained and doesn’t know whats happening)

Boom_Bap · 22-10-2015 01:27PM

fizzypish wrote: »

Int chance_of_scoring( men_tot, men_G,wom_tot)
{
If (heterosexuality > homophobia)
{
Men_opposition = men_tot- men_G
Odds_of_scoring = (wom_tot/ Men_opposition)*100
Return (Odds_of_scoring)
}
else
{
printf("Why are you more interested in hating people than getting lucky?")
}
}

Jaysus, no comments, no indenting, no exception handling.

walshyn93 · 22-10-2015 01:30PM

That Europe (Western Europe included) has clamped down on refugees ever since Putin entered Syria. Not sure where the theory goes from there but I presume it has something to do with either preparing for war or making it so Putin can't use refugees as pawns to destabilise Europe.

NachoBusiness · 22-10-2015 01:32PM

Humans are supposed to sleep on the beach as sand is the only untouched surface on earth which feels remotely comfortable to sleep on.

fizzypish · 22-10-2015 01:35PM

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Jaysus, no comments, no indenting, no exception handling.

I had indentation but it pasted funny. I came up with the theory, I never said I wanted to figure if it worked. Think of me as the steve jobs of getting the shift.

tomwaterford · 22-10-2015 01:36PM

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Humans are supposed to sleep on the beach as sand is the only untouched surface on earth which feels remotely comfortable to sleep on.

It gets EVERYWHERE though :eek:

Timberrrrrrrr · 22-10-2015 01:36PM

I believe I can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I believe I can touch the skyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Boom_Bap · 22-10-2015 01:39PM

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

I believe I can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I believe I can touch the skyyyyyyyyyyyy.

can you soar through an open door, that theory is yet to be proved.

NachoBusiness · 22-10-2015 01:40PM

tomwaterford wrote: »

It gets EVERYWHERE though :eek:

Which brings me to my next theory: sea water is salty as salt water helps get sand out of your under crackers.

smash · 22-10-2015 01:41PM

NachoBusiness wrote: »

Humans are supposed to sleep on the beach as sand is the only untouched surface on earth which feels remotely comfortable to sleep on.

What about Moss?

NachoBusiness · 22-10-2015 01:44PM

smash wrote: »

What about Moss?

Rookie mistake. Moss is soft only the surface, below it, the ground is always bumpy and hard.

Knex* · 22-10-2015 01:46PM

Buffalo Herd Theory

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

KomradeBishop · 22-10-2015 01:52PM

fizzypish wrote: »

If your level of heterosexuality is greater than your level of homophobia then you should have a vested interest in all your friends being homosexual.
Proof:
Note1: Personal appearance, intelligence and “chemistry” are ignored for this proof. The maths, maths and only the maths.
Note2: Got to ignore the occurrence of bisexuality too or it messes everything up

20 People in a room (including you). 50/50 male to female split. It is in your best interest if all 9 of the guys are gay (3 couples and 1 three some???) as it leaves you with 100% chance of attracting a mate.

With this in mind, if you have suspicions that one of your mates is gay you should encourage him to follow this path.
Due to the sheer volume of research about the group you’re out with required, this is not a feasible theory to test on the fly but the following should give rough odds…..

Int chance_of_scoring( men_tot, men_G,wom_tot)
{
If (heterosexuality > homophobia)
{
Men_opposition = men_tot- men_G
Odds_of_scoring = (wom_tot/ Men_opposition)*100
Return (Odds_of_scoring)
}
else
{
printf("Why are you more interested in hating people than getting lucky?")
}
}

Read a book called the forever war that had some pretty interesting ideas on the topic. Anyway......

*tut tut* If all the men are gay, you'll get a divide by zero there and crash - hope your theory's not true! Should all be safe though so long as everyone's not gay.

tomwaterford · 22-10-2015 01:53PM

Knex. wrote: »

Buffalo Herd Theory

In theory I like this theory :pac:

corner of hells · 22-10-2015 02:05PM

smash wrote: »

What about Moss?

Kate maybe , not Sterling, he's dead now.

Joe prim · 22-10-2015 02:06PM

E=MC3

The King of Moo · 22-10-2015 02:16PM

On Who Wants to be a Millionaire, they could control which two answers were displayed when the contestant used the 50/50 lifeline, even though they always said it was a random selection.

Chris Tarrant would always pressure the contestants into saying if they were torn between two of the answers. Then when the contestant said which two they were thinking of, the computer would leave those two options, thus rendering the lifeline useless.

BattleCorp · 22-10-2015 02:23PM

fizzypish wrote: »

20 People in a room (including you). 50/50 male to female split. It is in your best interest if all 9 of the guys are gay (3 couples and 1 three some???) as it leaves you with 100% chance of attracting a mate.

....

I'm assuming that your theory applies equally to females.

Good luck with the 9 lezzers.

PandaPoo · 22-10-2015 02:34PM

My best friend believes that when you take the label off the bottle of coke it goes flat.

She's believed that for about 15 years now, and I am so sick of it!!!!

thelad95 · 22-10-2015 02:38PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

On Who Wants to be a Millionaire, they could control which two answers were displayed when the contestant used the 50/50 lifeline, even though they always said it was a random selection.

Chris Tarrant would always pressure the contestants into saying if they were torn between two of the answers. Then when the contestant said which two they were thinking of, the computer would leave those two options, thus rendering the lifeline useless.

I don't think so too be honest, there were often times where they would be torn between b and c and the fifty fifty would leave b and d, meaning the contestant could easily progress to the next round.

Game shows like that are independently audited, I just don't think they would ever be able to pull something like that off.

fizzypish · 22-10-2015 03:12PM

KomradeBishop wrote: »

*tut tut* If all the men are gay, you'll get a divide by zero there and crash - hope your theory's not true! Should all be safe though so long as everyone's not gay.

A ha but with this theory, the person utilizing it will assure that at least 1 hetero guy exists.

Theories you have made up / believe to be true

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