Refraining from fapping

strelok · 02-10-2015 04:59PM

santana75 wrote: »

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina. By giving it a break you resensitize it so that a vagina actually feels a lot stronger than it did when you used your hands.

all that means is that you're masturbating wrong

you're an adult now, you don't just have to knock it out in 15 seconds cos your parents are in the other room

santana75 · 02-10-2015 05:02PM

strelok wrote: »

all that means is that you're masturbating wrong

you're an adult now, you don't just have to knock it out in 15 seconds cos your parents are in the other room

Why not test that out though. Dont jerk off for 30 days, then go have sex with a real live girl, see if there's a difference.

Penn · 02-10-2015 05:03PM

Had a circumcision a few years ago. Was told I should probably wait 6 weeks before masturbating, and 8 weeks before sex.

After 4 weeks, I couldn't take it any more. What followed was the best, scariest and most dangerous **** of my life. Not just because of the new sensitivity of my dick, but the danger of ripping a stitch, and the buildup of 4 weeks of going for a p*ss as soon as I got an erection in order to lose the erection.

That **** was glorious. Glorious, I tell you!

TheDD · 02-10-2015 05:05PM

Fracking is bad for the environment I heard

One eyed Jack · 02-10-2015 05:12PM

santana75 wrote: »

I'm the most unreligious person you'd ever meet, so I'm not gonna try convince you jerking off and porn are morally wrong. It has nothing to do with that kind of philosophy. You're arguing logic left right and centre, you're completely operating from your head and this thing has nothing to do with logic or reason. It's taking place on another level, and that's not religious either, that's life, that's being human. You're looking for explanations where there isn't any. You're just gonna have to try it and see for yourself.......let go of all your arguments and defences and take a leap of faith. I promise you nothing bad will happen, you're not gonna implode, you're not gonna lose your sex drive or be overwhelmed by it. I guarantee you only positive and good things will come out of you doing this. You just have to let go of all the arguments and reasoning, see them for what they are (defences ) and do it.

L. Ron Hubbard wants a word for breach of copyright... :pac:

Seriously though, can we actually be adults about this? The term is 'masturbation'. 'Fap' or 'fapping' sounds like a euphemism an immature teenager would use because they aren't familiar with the concept of masturbation as part and parcel of a healthy sex life.

The idea of this self-restraint is nothing more than another standard by which men (and I dare to use that term loosely in relation to anyone who calls masturbation 'fapping') compete amongst themselves for who can be the most juvenile and immature among them.

The fact that they think of abstaining from masturbation or pornography as in any way healthy or indicative of a healthy mind, should at least qualify them for a Darwin award.

santana75 · 02-10-2015 05:23PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

The fact that they think of abstaining from masturbation or pornography as in any way healthy or indicative of a healthy mind, should at least qualify them for a Darwin award.

But you don't know that it isn't healthy. Can you honestly say you've gone 90 days without looking at porn or masturbating, in your adult life? Why not test it out and see for yourself?

Celly Smunt · 02-10-2015 05:26PM

santana75 wrote: »

But you don't know that it isn't healthy. Can you honestly say you've gone 90 days without looking at porn or masturbating, in your adult life? Why not test it out and see for yourself?

I haven't gone without a shower for 90 days in my adult life either, should I try that too?

One eyed Jack · 02-10-2015 05:46PM

santana75 wrote: »

But you don't know that it isn't healthy.

Actually I do know that thinking that abstaining from masturbation is healthy, is actually very unhealthy, and incredibly immature. There are many health benefits to masturbation and also a person can learn what they like and don't like sexually, and they can communicate these ideas to their partner or indeed partners.

Masturbation itself isn't unhealthy. It's the obsessive and compulsive behaviour is unhealthy, and the same could be said for any behaviour. You're trying to argue that correlation between feeling better and abstaining from masturbation means that abstaining from masturbation must be the cause of you feeling better. Imagine how much better you would feel again if you simply enjoyed masturbation for what it is, rather than attaching any shame or guilt to engaging in a bit of self-exploration and self-love. I recommend you read up on some healthy masturbation techniques before you dismiss the idea out of hand altogether (no pun intended).

Can you honestly say you've gone 90 days without looking at porn or masturbating, in your adult life?

Of course not, and I wouldn't want to either as I see no benefit to such a ridiculous notion. I enjoy a healthy sex life, why should I wish to hamper myself to a life without masturbation or pornography? I'd be miserable. I'd feel uncomfortable and unhealthy. I'd likely have a permanent erection which would be quite off-putting to my immediate work colleagues also. I don't feel any particular need to punish myself like that.

Why not test it out and see for yourself?

1. Because I don't feel I need to.

2. Because I'm not 12 any more, nor do I possess the mentality of a 12 year old.

3. I have no compulsion to encourage silly 'challenges' that aren't a challenge at all. When I want to challenge myself, I can think of more productive and healthy challenges than this nonsense.

santana75 · 02-10-2015 05:52PM

Celly Smunt wrote: »

I haven't gone without a shower for 90 days in my adult life either, should I try that too?

But what are you afraid of? What bad thing do you believe will happen if you do this?

One eyed Jack · 02-10-2015 05:57PM

Smithrb wrote: »

On what basis do you think there are no benefits to abstaining from masturbation?

On the basis that there aren't any.

On the basis that the physical, mental, psychological and emotional benefits of masturbation by far and away outweigh any perceived 'benefits' of abstaining from masturbation.

On the basis that I don't take either medical nor scientific advice from anyone who thinks masturbation is unhealthy, or that abstaining from masturbation is in any way healthy.

Wibbs · 02-10-2015 06:49PM

santana75 wrote: »

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina.

Wut? Jaysus, clearly we differ here but I'm not trying to throttle chickens. For me a vagina is significantly tighter and a more all over pressure than my hand could muster, or would want to muster. Way more genital sensations going on with a woman.

Now I can see circumstances where the hand might be preferable. If the vagina in question was on the cavernous side, the chap's chap was on the smaller side, or if the guy masturbated with a dry hand on the glans*shudder* and desensitised himself to a crazy degree. TBH I've long held that opinion with some women's reliance on vibrators. They can get desensitised. However, again we're looking at extremes here. Like TaxAH said giving up the gargle is a very different thing for an alcoholic compared to someone who has a glass of vino with the sunday roast. I'd think the same about porn. Watching it a couple of times a month, grand, having a terabyte of jazz films on your hard drive while pullin the mickey off yourself thrice daily, get help.

Edgarfrndly wrote: »

It takes about 90 days to rewrite the brain - not 2 weeks.

I'm "rewriting my brain" as we speak. Laying down new memories of a thread on **** for a start.

Masturbation involves unlikely fantasy-driven scenarios.

Depends on what revs your engine. I certainly don't imagine myself being James Bond ridin supermodels. That would cause laughter not orgasm. Unless some thing having sex with women is fantasy driven? I dunno TBH.

Why not read any of the available studies on the issue? I've already linked some.

They are really dubious studies to be fair. Small sample sizes for a start. There's an awful lot of bro science with this subject. IMHO of course.

santana75 wrote: »

Some lads do have sex and just give up porn and masturbation, I'm not convinced about this. It's kind of like junkies being given methidone to get off heroine, it doesn't work.

Da fuq? Jesus I've read it all now.

The big reason I have an issue with this is it's American "manosphere" in nature. A hotbed of daftness and bro science. Up there with US Chick(™) sites on astrology and angels.

Maybe the reason it has originated there is the majority of US men have had their foreskin removed at birth and they're simply less sensitive overall so adding in excessive masturbation to the mix is going to be an issue? Stopping all sexual contact of the penis might make the nerves more sensitive over time? I remember watching(back in the 90's if memory serves) some ITV late night programme on sex and they had a female "expert" in giving men hand jobs. Now the demo willies she brought were rubber in nature, anatomically correct but as she was a Yank they were circumcised. The women taking this lesson were British so I dunno what they thought. I can tell you this though, if she had tried half of the things she claimed were great techniques I might well have broken my never hit a woman mantra. I would have been doubled up in pain, not pleasure. I recall reading one notion/theory that this may also be why US prone heavily features anal. More pressure, more pleasure.

Celly Smunt · 02-10-2015 07:15PM

santana75 wrote: »

But what are you afraid of? What bad thing do you believe will happen if you do this?

Have you ever seen the road?, I don't want to end up looking like that.

One eyed Jack · 02-10-2015 08:04PM

Sbmoya wrote: »

So basically because you say so

Well, on the basis that I was asked the question of myself -

On what basis do you think there are no benefits to abstaining from masturbation?

So I could only answer for myself.

why should anyone take medical or scientific advice from you.

If you'd be so kind as to point out where I said, or even implied, that anyone should take any sort of advice from me, I'd really appreciate it. Recommending anything to anyone, should never be construed as advice, either good or bad. It's simply a recommendation.

People are simply saying that they have experienced benefits from abstaining so it might be worth a try to abstain.

They have experienced benefits from quitting a compulsive or obsessive behaviour. Of course that's likely to correlate with better mental health and fitness. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but when it gets to a level where people are only abstaining from masturbation in an effort to appear to be more competent than their peers, that's a very unhealthy mentality in relation to masturbation which will carry with it a number of other issues relating to a person's mental health.

The hair growing back and all the rest of it as though testosterone hormone levels are increased the longer a man abstains from masturbation, are nothing short of ludicrous. I would take those self-reported 'testimonials' as nothing more than someone who is trying hard to convince themselves that what they are doing to themselves is of any benefit to them. It literally is the placebo effect which Wibbs mentioned earlier.

I consider something only worth doing if I can see tangible benefits to it. Abstaining from masturbation? I have quite enough energy, vitality, and virility as I am thank you very much. I have no issues with an unhealthy obsession or compulsive behaviour in relation to masturbation and sex and sexuality. This idea of abstaining from masturbation is nothing more than a throwback to more puritanical times 'when men were men', 'brotherhood' bollocks :rolleyes:

I like a bit of flagellation every now and then too, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It's certainly a better way for me personally anyway to release some pent-up tension, but it doesn't replace masturbation, nor does it replace sex. It complements them.

You are saying there are no benefits based on no evidence.

No, I'm not. You're claiming that there are actual tangible benefits to abstaining from masturbation, and I'm telling you that what 'evidence' you've presented is neither scientifically sound, nor is it compelling enough to encourage me to behave like a 12 year old again (I stopped for about a week when I left the curtains open by accident and my mother walked by the bedroom window. We couldn't make eye contact for a month after :pac:).

scwazrh · 02-10-2015 10:32PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Masturbation and porn is not the issue here in other words. Engaging with ANYTHING - including masturbation and porn - to such an excess as to negatively impact other areas of your life - is the problem and therefore abstaining from your vice will of course bring benefits as you describe them.

As a wise man once said " everything in moderation , including moderation"

03-10-2015 01:26AM

santana75 wrote: »

I'm the most unreligious person you'd ever meet, so I'm not gonna try convince you jerking off and porn are morally wrong.

I fear you misunderstood my analogy there. I was not accusing you of being infected religiously or of moralizing porn. I was making an analogy between your "Stop thinking" argument - and theist arguments.

santana75 wrote: »

You're arguing logic left right and centre

As opposed to - arguing illogic? You will forgive me, I hope, if I stick with logic for now. It has served me well to date.

santana75 wrote: »

You're looking for explanations where there isn't any.

On the contrary. If total abstinence from masturbation has a real world benefit there there very much IS going to be explanations for that. I am intrigued to hear why you feel there would not be.

santana75 wrote: »

take a leap of faith.

I would make a religion analogy here but you totally misunderstood my first one

santana75 wrote: »

I promise you nothing bad will happen, you're not gonna implode[.QUOTE]

Ah just like homeopathy then. Nothing to lose and no side effects

santana75 wrote: »

You just have to let go of all the arguments and reasoning, see them for what they are (defences ) and do it.

Now you border on the insidious side of analogies to religion and cults - which is actually what I was predicting by making such analogies in the first place - so I am some what saddened by my own accuracy.

The attempt to equate rationality with being "defensive". A move like that is more becoming of a Scientologist - as one of their "personality evaluation" tests off the side of O'Connell street where they do EXACTLY that - try to equate any attempt to rationalize the sheer unadulterated rubbish they are trying to sell - as a defense mechanism against why they are trying to sell.

When you put a foot into the realm of trying to misrepresent rationality as a defense mechanism against failure or guilt - you have taken that first step into cult think.

santana75 wrote: »

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina.

Judging from your description of masturbation here by the way - I can only say that the failure and problem is not with masturbation - it is with the fact you are simply doing it wrong Because what you describe ain't like any kind of masturbation I have ever engaged in. Perhaps rather than nonsense preaching against masturbation - you could instead learn how to do it right - and preach that instead

Penny Tration · 03-10-2015 07:04AM

I'm a woman, and i abstained from sex or masturbation and porn for six months before. No particular reason why, I just did.

And it was feckin' miserable! I noticed no benefits whatsoever, I just felt rubbish and lonely!

santana75 · 03-10-2015 09:37AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Now you border on the insidious side of analogies to religion and cults - which is actually what I was predicting by making such analogies in the first place - so I am some what saddened by my own accuracy.

The attempt to equate rationality with being "defensive". A move like that is more becoming of a Scientologist - as one of their "personality evaluation" tests off the side of O'Connell street where they do EXACTLY that - try to equate any attempt to rationalize the sheer unadulterated rubbish they are trying to sell - as a defense mechanism against why they are trying to sell.

When you put a foot into the realm of trying to misrepresent rationality as a defense mechanism against failure or guilt - you have taken that first step into cult think.

Man you are up in your head so much, you're not even getting what we're trying to tell you. Nobody is trying to take anything away from you, we're actually trying to give you something but you're like a child who thinks he's being told he cant play anymore, and throws a wobbler. Why not just take a punt on this, 30 days thats all it is. If theres no problem there then 30 days will be easy, and when its over you can go back to pulling yourself and watching porn to your hearts content. But what if theres truth to what we're saying? Put your arguments aside for one minute and play devils advocate. Take a chance, give it a go, 30 days and you have nothing to lose.

One eyed Jack · 03-10-2015 10:07AM

santana75 wrote: »

Man you are up in your head so much, you're not even getting what we're trying to tell you. Nobody is trying to take anything away from you, we're actually trying to give you something but you're like a child who thinks he's being told he cant play anymore, and throws a wobbler. Why not just take a punt on this, 30 days thats all it is. If theres no problem there then 30 days will be easy, and when its over you can go back to pulling yourself and watching porn to your hearts content. But what if theres truth to what we're saying? Put your arguments aside for one minute and play devils advocate. Take a chance, give it a go, 30 days and you have nothing to lose.

I'm not sure if you're oblivious to the fact, but your post is indicative of the sort of sales patter used to successfully sell products to idiots. Now I'm not for a minute suggesting you're an idiot, but your constant repetition of the '30 days', and your talking about yourself in plural form, that's worrying tbh, far more worrying than actually being concerned about the ideology you're trying to convince people to try.

30 days without masturbation, right? But long term you're likely to end up like these chaps -

They simply switched one form of compulsive and obsessive thinking for another - from constantly masturbating and viewing pornography, to obsessive and compulsive thinking about abstaining from masturbation and pornography.

They're 'challenged' alright, but it isn't due to abstaining from masturbation, nor was it masturbation or pornography that caused their thought processes in the first place.

santana75 · 03-10-2015 11:03AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

30 days without masturbation, right? But long term you're likely to end up like these chaps -

They simply switched one form of compulsive and obsessive thinking for another - from constantly masturbating and viewing pornography, to obsessive and compulsive thinking about abstaining from masturbation and pornography.

But youre jumping to conclusions. You havent done 30 days without jerking off but you're assuming that if you did you'd turn into some kind of nutjob. Do it and find out. Then you can make a judgement. Until then you're making assumptions and worrying about what bad things will happen to you if you stop. Nothing bad will happen, you wont turn into a religious zealot, you wont lose your libido, you wont lose interest in women. You might feel some things that you're afraid of facing though, but thats always a good thing.
I was using the Royal "we" by the way, just like The dude.

Wibbs · 03-10-2015 11:07AM

This type of asceticism has been around forever. There have always been a minority of men(and women) who went "off grid" and celibacy was one marker of it. The old sexual energy vibe being considered important to refocus. So you ended up with monastic types strapped to rocks in the atlantic and blokes living on top of pillars. Which is all cool, whatever floats your boat, but hardly mainstream and rightfully.

Rambling aside…. There was an reemergence of such thinking in 19th century western thought, along with other angles like musings on origins, authenticity and harking to the past. Likely as a psychic response the rapid pace of change in technology and society at the time. Sound familiar? Today we may be living through similar. A kind of neo victorianism. hipsters can even look like 19th century types, wearing their "authentic" selvedge denim coal miners dungarees, while sipping organic coffee while tweeting about it. Hell, third wave feminism could at times almost be describing some 19th male attitudes to women, by stating they need constant protection and have little or no agency.

The falling off of religion comes into it too. As a fella once said, if you don't believe in something, you have a tendency to believe in anything. So a once monastic angle to celibacy has become a no fap meme on the interwebs.

BunkMoreland · 03-10-2015 11:10AM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I've deleted a few posts and would ask anyone new here to read our charter before posting. This isn't the place for base humour and one-liners.

Thanks.

Well heil Hitler bitch

Wibbs · 03-10-2015 11:24AM

Der fuhrer thanks you for the salute, but off to the eastern front you go for a month for that remark.

One eyed Jack · 03-10-2015 11:55AM

santana75 wrote: »

But youre jumping to conclusions. You havent done 30 days without jerking off but you're assuming that if you did you'd turn into some kind of nutjob. Do it and find out. Then you can make a judgement. Until then you're making assumptions and worrying about what bad things will happen to you if you stop. Nothing bad will happen, you wont turn into a religious zealot, you wont lose your libido, you wont lose interest in women. You might feel some things that you're afraid of facing though, but thats always a good thing.
I was using the Royal "we" by the way, just like The dude.

I'm not jumping to conclusions. I'm basing my opinion on the evidence I see before me, and those chaps obviously have mental health issues that they themselves admit to in their testimonial videos. The common factor among them is that they experienced or are experiencing depression. I don't, nor have I ever experienced depression. I don't feel I am lacking anything in my life, and certainly I don't feel that for me personally, abstaining from masturbation and pornography offers any benefits whatsoever, the only effect is that I would be denying myself something for no compelling reason whatsoever.

Clearly, as evidenced by those chaps in those videos, objectively speaking, bad things are happening, as they are continuing to ignore the underlying mentality which led to their obsessive, compulsive behaviour, and having a community which reinforces that obsessive compulsive behaviour normalises it for them.

They lack the self-awareness to see that what they are doing to themselves mentally, simply isn't healthy. Not one of them has a healthy relationship with themselves, let alone anyone else. I watched a handful of those testimonials on YouTube last night and the other thing I noticed there were certain trends among the people offering their experiences - apart from the admission of mental health issues (depression, social anxiety, etc), the demographic seems to be young, heterosexual men in their 20's, who have little experience of sex and sexuality, little experience interacting with the opposite sex, clearly intelligent on some level, but going from one end of the spectrum of constantly masturbating and viewing pornography, to the other - abstaining completely from masturbation and pornography, or, trying to, at least.

Check out the chap having gone two years without masturbation or pornography and how he talked about his 'triggers' like watching Game of Thrones after 11pm on the computer, his shame at the thoughts that if only he'd had more discipline when he hit a low point having got a cold, how after two years he's having to reset his count on the "no fap app" (that he wrote himself, iphone app coming soon!), and he keeps a written diary of how he succeeded that day, or why he was 'triggered' that day...

You'd care to tell me that's any sort of normal behaviour?

The other two are pretty much in the same vein of abnormal behaviour, caused by their underlying mentality, not caused by masturbation and pornography, but by an obsessive compulsive mentality that goes from one extreme to the other.

Wibbs · 03-10-2015 12:04PM

santana75 · 03-10-2015 01:00PM

Wibbs wrote: »

This type of asceticism has been around forever. There have always been a minority of men(and women) who went "off grid" and celibacy was one marker of it. The old sexual energy vibe being considered important to refocus. So you ended up with monastic types strapped to rocks in the atlantic and blokes living on top of pillars. Which is all cool, whatever floats your boat, but hardly mainstream and rightfully.

Rambling aside…. There was an reemergence of such thinking in 19th century western thought, along with other angles like musings on origins, authenticity and harking to the past. Likely as a psychic response the rapid pace of change in technology and society at the time. Sound familiar? Today we may be living through similar. A kind of neo victorianism. hipsters can even look like 19th century types, wearing their "authentic" selvedge denim coal miners dungarees, while sipping organic coffee while tweeting about it. Hell, third wave feminism could at times almost be describing some 19th male attitudes to women, by stating they need constant protection and have little or no agency.

The falling off of religion comes into it too. As a fella once said, if you don't believe in something, you have a tendency to believe in anything. So a once monastic angle to celibacy has become a no fap meme on the interwebs.

Yeah I agree about ascetism, its been around since the days of the Buddha. And even he opted out of that after trying it for a while. But Im not talking about that type of flogging yourself to purify your soul, type of existence. Maybe others go that far and take it to extremes, I dont go near anything like that. Nobody is saying you should live a life of celibacy, all it is, is 90 days where you dont look at porn, jerk off or in some cases, not have sex. Then at the end of 90 days see where youre at, if you wanna go back to jerking off thats your choice. Its just a clearing of the decks to see how you really feel about the things you do. Sometimes you have to stop doing something to fully get a view as to how it affects your life and happiness. Its hard to see something clearly when youre right in the middle of it.

Old Jakey · 03-10-2015 01:52PM

Three weeks through no fap myself and the results are amazing. I'm more confident, sharper, wittier, more motivated and more successful with women.

OneOfThem · 03-10-2015 01:56PM

I've been off sex and masturbation for around 5/6 weeks due to a pretty bad banjo string related injury before.
Felt irritable, anxious, concentration went to sh1t, sleep patterns all over the shop.

I've looked at that reddit page. People talking about how they used to sit up till 3am 'edging' every night, and not going out with thier friends at the weekend cause they'd stay in watching porn and ****.

If you replaced porn and masturbation with playing computer games in the above scenario I reckon you'd see similar problems and similar gain from packing it in.

For more 'normal' people. Well did fvck all for me anyway accept what I said above.

Old Jakey · 03-10-2015 01:57PM

Whatever about jackin it, I'm swearing off the porn. Fuk that. Imagination all the way.

santana75 · 03-10-2015 03:28PM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I don't feel I am lacking anything in my life, and certainly I don't feel that for me personally, abstaining from masturbation and pornography offers any benefits whatsoever, the only effect is that I would be denying myself something for no compelling reason whatsoever.

Ok I can see where you're coming from, the lads in those clips are a bit "off". And I'd be suspicious too watching stuff like that. I know people who are like that and they have this 1000 yard stare thing going on, were you know they're wired to the moon. And I run a mile from that ****, ive no time for people like that. And maybe theres a good few space cadets or seriously messed up people in that whole no fap thing, I dont know, ive never met them in person. I can only speak for myself and the reason I started was because I read a book and in it the guy gave some good reasons to knock porn on the head and to take a break from jerking off. Im not a zealot, I just like to test things out for myself and see if theres anything to them. And I found that theres a lot of good things with this. Thats all it is. You can take it or leave it, I just wanted to let people know that contrary to popular belief, not looking at porn or abstaining from masturbation actually has a positive affect on your life. And I think thats worth sharing with folks.

One eyed Jack · 03-10-2015 04:25PM

santana75 wrote: »

Ok I can see where you're coming from, the lads in those clips are a bit "off". And I'd be suspicious too watching stuff like that. I know people who are like that and they have this 1000 yard stare thing going on, were you know they're wired to the moon. And I run a mile from that ****, ive no time for people like that. And maybe theres a good few space cadets or seriously messed up people in that whole no fap thing, I dont know, ive never met them in person.

You're talking about this guy, aren't you?

That guy is positively fcuking orbital, and seems to be suffering the latter stages of a syphilis infection.

I can only speak for myself and the reason I started was because I read a book and in it the guy gave some good reasons to knock porn on the head and to take a break from jerking off. Im not a zealot, I just like to test things out for myself and see if theres anything to them. And I found that theres a lot of good things with this. Thats all it is.

But were you actually masturbating or consuming pornography beforehand to the point where it was having a detrimental effect on your life and preventing you from participating in society?

I get where you're coming from, but with any disordered mentality, the best way to address it is not simply to switch one obsessive compulsive behaviour for another, it's best practice to address the underlying mentality.

Most people don't experience obsessive compulsive thoughts to the point where it actually has that detrimental an effect on their lives. They're able to moderate their thinking so that they're not flipping between the two extremes. They're able to enjoy masturbation and pornography in a healthy way as part of a healthy sex life and as a smaller part again in their daily interactions with other people.

These young men engaging in this "no fap challenge" stuff, seem completely incapable of actually thinking for themselves about how they should modify and moderate their own behaviour. The key word there is moderating their behaviour. Abstaining from masturbation and pornography, while it may be perceived by some people as a 'noble' goal, abstinence itself is simply an unhealthy mentality. Doing so and feeling as though you are part of a community, supporting and encouraging each other, is legitimising and normalising that mentality.

I cannot stress just how unhealthy that mentality is among young men, which is why IMO either extreme should never be encouraged. It's just not healthy, as it creates more problems than it solves, while still failing to address the underlying unhealthy mentality.

You can take it or leave it, I just wanted to let people know that contrary to popular belief, not looking at porn or abstaining from masturbation actually has a positive affect on your life. And I think thats worth sharing with folks.

You're not contradicting any popular belief, you're actually preaching in the face of an overwhelming amount of scientific evidence that says that abstinence is unhealthy and absolutely unnecessary. That's more worth sharing with folks than the idea that their moderate and healthy behaviour is something they should abstain from. You maintain there are all these positive benefits and all the rest of it, but your personal, self-reported testimony is no match for longitudinal scientific research and the body of knowledge which contradicts your assertions.

You were looking for something and you found it, and I get that you would want to share all the positive benefits of that with the world, but that's exactly what cult leaders thrive on, and not necessarily in a religious context either, but in a social context, and that's where these modern notions of male 'purification' and 'superiority' are coming from. A person doesn't have to be religious to buy into this stuff, they just have to feel like something is missing in their lives, like they have no goals and nothing to work towards.

Ideologies like the PUA and the MGTOW and the no fap movements and so on, are giving these young men something they can buy into and feel as though they are part of a community and believe that what they are doing is normal and healthy and 'the right way to live', but all it's doing is keeping them in an infantile and immature state of mind, which is absolutely not healthy for them.

Refraining from fapping

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