Refraining from fapping

Brian from Bray

I'm just wondering has anyone on here ever tried going a few weeks/months with out fapping and what was your experience from it ? Did you feel any benefits from it ?

Came across this video the last day and some of the benefits look very good. I was thinking about giving this a try myself but the longest I've ever gone is a week :pac:

Anyway here's the video

PirateShampoo

The body would find it's own release.

It's the reason why men have wet dreams. Maturation is natural and if you won't do it, you're deviant mind will.

mass_debater

There was a thread here before "the no fap challenge". Have a search, I'm too lazy to look

ancapailldorcha

I've deleted a few posts and would ask anyone new here to read our charter before posting. This isn't the place for base humour and one-liners.

Thanks.

emigrate2012

Maybe 5-6days,but after that, nope.
Unless in an relationship, and even then, not much longer.

the_syco

One of the forums, either here or one of the private forums, there's a "no fap" month. Personally, I can only last a week and a bit before the horn goes into full auto mode, and it becomes harder (lol, sorry) to control the stifness. A few boast about lasting longer.

I did notice that for the first few months, my drive to do things rose (again, all these bad puns :pac:), but like anything, after a while the drive ain't there from not fapping for only a week. It's almost like the body alters for the change, and the drive isn't there as much.

HalloweenJack

Tbh, it seems like you could take most of those quotes and use them to talk about quitting smoking, drinking, coffee or drugs. Personally, I think it's BS.

Longest I went without a fap was post-op after my circumcision. 33 days I lasted and I didn't notice any of the above "benefits". I think it is just people telling themselves that it's the case.

jungleman

I just finished a 7 day stretch of no fapping. Don't think I could manage any more than that to be honest. The only way I'd manage a few weeks would be if my arms were amputated or something. Even then I'd still probably find a way.

Wibbs

Well that's 3 minutes of my life I won't get back. 3 Minutes when I could have been….

When I hear about this kinda oddball stuff I get the whiff of let's go back to victorian times about it*. A time where masturbation was considered a bodily "pollution" that could cause "weakness". It's complete and utter nonsense and any perceived benefit would be entirely placebo. Unless you're practising excessive onanism to the point of a zinc deficiency and strained wrist ligaments. In which case dialling back might be beneficial.

Oh and I don't "fap", I have a "****", I'm not a yank. There's probably a haiku in that, somewhere. Not a surprise it's an American thing mind you. After all their fear of onanism goes deep. The original zeal for male circumcisions across the board that they practice in the states came along in victorian times as they thought it would reduce masturbation and improve health. A certain Mr Kellog, him of the cornflakes and of snake oil wellness centres and a complete 'king loon was mad keen on the idea and even suggested performing the operation on pre pubescent boys without anaesthesia so the pain involved would put them off even more. Oh yep.











*That or yer man out of the film Dr. Strangelove going on about commies stealing his "essence".

Brian from Bray

Brian from Bray wrote: »

I'm just wondering has anyone on here ever tried going a few weeks/months with out fapping and what was your experience from it ?

Never. I have seen no reason to - and have not bought into a shred of the pretend science many of the speakers have trotted out on the subject when doing their Ted Talks.

I am not a heavy indulger anyway - at the best or worst of times. But it seems the only people who refrain from abstaining from it - are people who were engaging in it to such an extreme level that it was negatively impacting on the rest of their lives.

But of course it is such people who are rolled out to support the theory in the first place. But a health recommendation only supported by extremes are not ones I find much utility for myself.

If you are interested however we had one thread on it here before:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057313998

And there was one longer thread on the subject on after hours also:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057005297

Exclamation Marc

Only twice have I ever intentionally refrained from it and that's because I was asked to before a sperm bank job.

When you're asked not to, it gets extremely hard not to (pun entirely intended). Actively trying not to just puts it on the mind more.

Once it's not overtaking your life, you're dependent on it or you're not addicted to a point where you need to do it, can't see any reason why you'd deliberately stop yourself. Long gone are the days where people actually bought the 'benefits of not ****' dicta.

Also on side note, I have to echo what Wibbs said; I absolutely detest the word 'fap'.

Wibbs

Plus I seem to recall reading that men who had more orgasms by any means tended to have healthier prostate glands in later life. Yep here's the link. . And apparently reduces the risk of breast cancer in men. As well as the various compounds released during ejaculation it makes sense to me it would be better to "clean the pipes" on the regular. After all sperm are rapidly dividing cells in the body so might be prone to more genetic damage as we age?

On the other hand it might simply be that men who naturally have a higher sex drive and are more likely to orgasm/**** are also likely to have higher testosterone, healthier vascularity etc in the first place. Might be that frequency of orgasm is an indicator of general male health in the first place.

santana75

Brian from Bray wrote: »

I'm just wondering has anyone on here ever tried going a few weeks/months with out fapping and what was your experience from it ? Did you feel any benefits from it ?

Came across this video the last day and some of the benefits look very good. I was thinking about giving this a try myself but the longest I've ever gone is a week :pac:

Anyway here's the video

I read a book and in it the guy gave some really compelling reasons to not whack off or look at porn. 90 days was the challange and, so **** it, sounded good to me. Im on day 52 and honestly at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, its life changing. Lads will obviously joke about **** like this and I'd joke myself, but its only when you stop that you realise how damaging to your life porn and jerking off can be. The benefits are, you feel physically more energetic, like not just a little bit but a lot. You feel happier, but most of all you get to find out a lot about yourself. Also, for whatever messed up reason, you will attract women like never before in your life, its unreal.

mynameis905

santana75 wrote: »

I read a book and in it the guy gave some really compelling reasons to not whack off or look at porn. 90 days was the challange and, so **** it, sounded good to me. Im on day 52 and honestly at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, its life changing. Lads will obviously joke about **** like this and I'd joke myself, but its only when you stop that you realise how damaging to your life porn and jerking off can be. The benefits are, you feel physically more energetic, like not just a little bit but a lot. You feel happier, but most of all you get to find out a lot about yourself. Also, for whatever messed up reason, you will attract women like never before in your life, its unreal.

The 'benefits' listed in the YouTube video above are absurd. "Glowing eyes", "Deep manly voice of confidence", "becoming more articulate when you talk". Surely no one takes this shíte seriously?

The whole idea is patently nonsense. I don't mean to sound harsh but a) was the book you read written by a medical professional and b) did it contain data and solid evidence from peer-reviewed clinical studies? Show me cold, hard facts and proof and I'll change my position in a heartbeat. Until then, the whole idea is right up there with homeopathy, reiki, crystal healing and all the other nonsense that gets peddled on the naive.

Le Surge Eyed Amant

When I go too long without ejaculating I automatically knock one out when sleeping, I call it sleep masturbating. I just dream up sexy thoughts and start tugging away, there's nothing I can do about it.

santana75

mynameis905 wrote: »

The 'benefits' listed in the YouTube video above are absurd. "Glowing eyes", "Deep manly voice of confidence", "becoming more articulate when you talk". Surely no one takes this shíte seriously?

The whole idea is patently nonsense. I don't mean to sound harsh but a) was the book you read written by a medical professional and b) did it contain data and solid evidence from peer-reviewed clinical studies? Show me cold, hard facts and proof and I'll change my position in a heartbeat. Until then, the whole idea is right up there with homeopathy, reiki, crystal healing and all the other nonsense that gets peddled on the naive.

I get your scepticism, I roll my eyes when I hear crap like that aswell. But this is just one of those things you have to do to find out for yourself. Forget peer reviewed clinical studies, just take a leap of faith and do it, it's the only way to find out for yourself if it's bull**** or not.

strelok

if you look at any of the websites or subreddit(s?) dedicated to nofap they're terrifying places. it's full of religious fervour and unbelievable levels of shame for the inevitable indulgence. a weird obsession with porn too, like the christian right or the feminist left.


https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/3n6nf2/ive_been_reflecting_on_the_terrible_shootings_in/

and you also have messianic **** like this


also

fap fap fap

santana75

santana75 wrote: »

The benefits are, you feel physically more energetic, like not just a little bit but a lot. You feel happier, but most of all you get to find out a lot about yourself.

As has been noted - if you are engaging with masturbation and porn to the point that it is negatively impacting your happiness, energy and confidence then of course _stopping_ will reverse that and you will see such benefits.

It is an error however to extrapolate from this that suggesting other people stop too will allow them to see similar benefits. They will not - because the majority of them are not engaging with it to the same damaging degree that the speaker is.

Take an analogy. Imagine you are someone who binge drinks twice a week. You suffer hangovers the next day. And knock on low energy levels the day after. Maybe some paranoia ("the fear" as some people call it) and depression. Messed up appetite. And so forth. So basically you feel crap for 6 days a week.

So you stop drinking and you suddenly feel better energy levels, attention span, general well being, confidence and so forth. So you think it is a good idea to stop drinking because it brings all these perceived benefits.

However the majority of people do not binge. They have a drink with a meal maybe once or twice a week. When they go to the pub they do not drink to excess. So your advice will be meaningless to them - and even if they follow it they will see little to no benefits like you do.

Masturbation and porn is not the issue here in other words. Engaging with ANYTHING - including masturbation and porn - to such an excess as to negatively impact other areas of your life - is the problem and therefore abstaining from your vice will of course bring benefits as you describe them.

santana75

[Deleted User] wrote: »

It is an error however to extrapolate from this that suggesting other people stop too will allow them to see similar benefits. They will not - because the majority of them are not engaging with it to the same damaging degree that the speaker is.


So you stop drinking and you suddenly feel better energy levels, attention span, general well being, confidence and so forth. So you think it is a good idea to stop drinking because it brings all these perceived benefits.

However the majority of people do not binge. They have a drink with a meal maybe once or twice a week. When they go to the pub they do not drink to excess. So your advice will be meaningless to them - and even if they follow it they will see little to no benefits like you

But then you have nothing to lose by trying it. You're assuming that you have nothing to gain by doing this, that it won't make a difference to your life. My challange to you is to let go of logic and all your reasons why you shouldn't try this(because there's always going to be a lot of "very reasonable" arguments against) and just see what happens. 30 days, that's all. If there's nothing there then 30 days will be easy. You have nothing to lose by going for 30 days without whacking off or looking at porn. At the very least you'll give your Johnson a break, and every blokes Johnson could do with a **** break.

neonman

santana75 wrote: »

But then you have nothing to lose by trying it. You're assuming that you have nothing to gain by doing this, that it won't make a difference to your life. My challange to you is to let go of logic and all your reasons why you shouldn't try this(because there's always going to be a lot of "very reasonable" arguments against) and just see what happens. 30 days, that's all. If there's nothing there then 30 days will be easy. You have nothing to lose by going for 30 days without whacking off or looking at porn. At the very least you'll give your Johnson a break, and every blokes Johnson could do with a **** break.

During your no fapping phase did you have sex or is it all out nothing?

Edgarfrndly

I did it, a full reboot. There's a good community over on reddit (nofap), where you can read all the personal experiences in the world that show people getting over certain problems. Don't worry about the religious posts, they are in the minority. Most people are just doing it to improve their lives.

My experience is - it leads to the following. Stuff like ED/DE will be fixed. (Although it does take some time) Sex is way more satisfying, and feels more intimate. Your confidence increases. It makes eye contact easier. My overall view is that it's an extremely positive experience, and you'll feel a lot better after doing it.

The first 2 weeks are the most difficult, but after that it gets easier. You'll hit a "flatline" during the process, while your brain is rewiring and you lose all of your sex drive. It's kind of unnerving, but it returns after a few weeks.

There's a lot of studies behind the impact porn has on our brain, and how it affects our grey matter on our brain (http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1874574) and dopamine management (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/). I've no moral objection to it. But it desensitizes you.

I laughed at it when I first read about it to be honest. But I had lifelong issues with DE (delayed ejaculation). I tried everything, but this was the only thing that cured it.

Mr Bloat

Technically, what's the difference between masturbation and having sex? Ok, I know there is the world of difference between the two but if you boil right down to the nitty gritty, both acts involve stimulation of the sex organs which leads to orgasm. So surely any benefits a person could get from not masturbating could also be gotten from not having sex with a partner? I'm pretty sure there is nobody creditable out there that claims there are benefits from not having sex so how can the same claims be made regarding not masturbating?

santana75 wrote: »

At the very least you'll give your Johnson a break, and every blokes Johnson could do with a **** break.

Why would giving my "Johnson" a **** break be any different to giving it a break from sex in general?

Mr Bloat

Edgarfrndly wrote: »

I did it, a full reboot. There's a good community over on reddit (nofap), where you can read all the personal experiences in the world that show people getting over certain problems. Don't worry about the religious posts, they are in the minority. Most people are just doing it to improve their lives.

My experience is - it leads to the following. Stuff like ED/DE will be fixed. (Although it does take some time) Sex is way more satisfying, and feels more intimate. Your confidence increases. It makes eye contact easier. My overall view is that it's an extremely positive experience, and you'll feel a lot better after doing it.

The first 2 weeks are the most difficult, but after that it gets easier. You'll hit a "flatline" during the process, while your brain is rewiring and you lose all of your sex drive. It's kind of unnerving, but it returns after a few weeks.

There's a lot of studies behind the impact porn has on our brain, and how it affects our grey matter on our brain (http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1874574) and dopamine management (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/). I've no moral objection to it. But it desensitizes you.

I laughed at it when I first read about it to be honest. But I had lifelong issues with DE (delayed ejaculation). I tried everything, but this was the only thing that cured it.

I can't see how stopping masturbating would make me more confident or make eye contact easier? The only reason I could see for this is if I felt internal shame that I was a wanker (in the literal sense of the word) and felt that somehow the people I was talking to knew of my shameful acts.
Also, if your brain "rewires" itself after two weeks of no masturbation and you lose your sex drive, why doesn't it do this after two weeks of no sex? I have, for one reason or another, gone a few times in my life of two weeks (sometimes more!) of no sex. During this period I didn't notice a decrease in my sex drive, in fact I was gagging for it.

mahoganygas

jungleman wrote: »

The only way I'd manage a few weeks would be if my arms were amputated or something. Even then I'd still probably find a way.

There's a story on reddit about a guy with two broken arms who lived with his mom.

I'll let you figure out the rest.

santana75

neonman wrote: »

During your no fapping phase did you have sex or is it all out nothing?

Some lads do have sex and just give up porn and masturbation, I'm not convinced about this. It's kind of like junkies being given methidone to get off heroine, it doesn't work. Best way is for a clean break, 90 days. Then after that you go back to having sex. All the lads who go 90 days though don't ever go back to masturbation or porn, those two things stay gone. It's not an obligation though, it's just something that happens naturally.

Edgarfrndly

Mr Bloat wrote: »

I can't see how stopping masturbating would make me more confident or make eye contact easier? The only reason I could see for this is if I felt internal shame that I was a wanker (in the literal sense of the word) and felt that somehow the people I was talking to knew of my shameful acts.

It's not related to shame. I'd assume it is the result of the physiological change porn has on your brain. It's just a personal observation, and one that appears to be reflected by everyone who cuts out porn and masturbation. Your argument is because you "don't understand" how it occurs, then it must not be able to occur. That's an argument from personal incredulity.

Mr Bloat wrote: »

Also, if your brain "rewires" itself after two weeks of no masturbation and you lose your sex drive, why doesn't it do this after two weeks of no sex? I have, for one reason or another, gone a few times in my life of two weeks (sometimes more!) of no sex. During this period I didn't notice a decrease in my sex drive, in fact I was gagging for it.

It takes about 90 days to rewrite the brain - not 2 weeks. A flatline is an indication that it is in process and can happen at anytime. Masturbation involves unlikely fantasy-driven scenarios. The spikes in dopamine between masturbation and sex are different.

Why not read any of the available studies on the issue? I've already linked some.

santana75

Mr Bloat wrote: »

Technically, what's the difference between masturbation and having sex? Ok, I know there is the world of difference between the two but if you boil right down to the nitty gritty, both acts involve stimulation of the sex organs which leads to orgasm. So surely any benefits a person could get from not masturbating could also be gotten from not having sex with a partner? I'm pretty sure there is nobody creditable out there that claims there are benefits from not having sex so how can the same claims be made regarding not masturbating?



Why would giving my "Johnson" a **** break be any different to giving it a break from sex in general?

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina. By giving it a break you resensitize it so that a vagina actually feels a lot stronger than it did when you used your hands.

Mr Bloat

Edgarfrndly wrote: »

It's not related to shame. I'd assume it is the result of the physiological change porn has on your brain. It's just a personal observation, and one that appears to be reflected by everyone who cuts out porn and masturbation. Your argument is because you "don't understand" how it occurs, then it must not be able to occur. That's an argument from personal incredulity.
It takes about 90 days to rewrite the brain - not 2 weeks. A flatline is an indication that it is in process and can happen at anytime. Masturbation involves unlikely fantasy-driven scenarios. The spikes in dopamine between masturbation and sex are different.

Why not read any of the available studies on the issue? I've already linked some.

I do intend on reading the links you posted, I'm in work at the moment and can't do so, so my comments are quick responses from personal incredulity at these claims. In general, I am a confident person and will usually make a lot of eye contact during conversations. I also masturbate a couple of times a week.
I recall reading some stuff a while back and watching experts on talk shows and stuff like that who claimed that there was plenty of evidence to show that masturbation and fantasy were healthy.
I'll read your stuff with interest because it flies in the face of everything I have read and heard of before and I'll be back.

Celly Smunt

I used to do the whole staying away when "she had her week off" type of thing and I think there is a benefit there. Mainly because we'd both be looking for sex the week after and it would just generally be unreal and really boosted the relationship. This I recommend.

Months without it?, why bother?. By animalistic terms we're supposed to be out spilling our beans everyday with random females to carry our horrible offspring. Naturally we'd be cracking them out everyday or two. There's a reason we regenerate so quickly and that's to give us a smaller time frame to release our stuff rather than waiting months to be in heat for instance.

No porn would be a good challenge to do, there's not much natural about porn (well voyeurism I suppose) but "no fapping" goes against everything our bodies tell us to do. It's like starving yourself so you have an appetite instead of eating regularly and being healthy.

santana75

santana75 wrote: »

But then you have nothing to lose by trying it.

Nor has anyone got much to lose particularly by doing a hop skip and a jump down the road while singing - "La la la there horrace - have a google at my terrace" - but not having anything to lose by doing something entirely random and pointless is not really going to recommend it - let alone justify recommending it to others.

Sure the whole homeopathy industry is essentially built on the concept of "Ah sure try it - you have nothing to lose - and look no side effects either". Plus I am intensely suspicious of anything - whatever it may be - that is supported by little more than testimonials.

santana75 wrote: »

You're assuming that you have nothing to gain by doing this, that it won't make a difference to your life.

Of course I am. That is the safe and rational assumption to make about any fad or baseless recommendation that is tabled before you. Otherwise you would be trying every thing that comes in the door or the email - and the word is full of fad and nonsense recommendations.

So yes I happily maintain a "unless there is some substance to the claim I should try it then I see no reason why I should try it".

As I say - if someone is engaging with masturbation and porn to the degree that it is causing some negative impact on their lives then of course they should give abstinence a try.

But the majority of people - who engaging with such things in moderation - are not likely to see any of the benefits you describe.

santana75 wrote: »

My challange to you is to let go of logic and all your reasons why you shouldn't try this

Ah the old "stop thinking - just do it" approach. Usually get that one from the religious - with the use of reason being the antithesis of what they are attempting to achieve. The "challenge" of course comes with the assumption that I have not done it before - or "given it a try". You will find such assumptions unsafe.

santana75 wrote: »

you'll give your Johnson a break, and every blokes Johnson could do with a **** break.

Speak for yourself. My engagement with porn and masturbation is already below average. So whatever about someone engaging in it moderately being unlikely to reap any benefits based on what you have described so far - someone like myself is even less so.

It would be an equivalent to a heavy binge drinker - coming off the drink - feeling great - and then recommending avoidance of alcohol to someone who has a single glass of red wine on pay day on the 1st of every month with their dinner.

santana75

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Nor has anyone got much to lose particularly by doing a hop skip and a jump down the road while singing - "La la la there horrace - have a google at my terrace" - but not having anything to lose by doing something entirely random and pointless is not really going to recommend it - let alone justify recommending it to others.

Sure the whole homeopathy industry is essentially built on the concept of "Ah sure try it - you have nothing to lose - and look no side effects either". Plus I am intensely suspicious of anything - whatever it may be - that is supported by little more than testimonials.

So yes I happily maintain a "unless there is some substance to the claim I should try it then I see no reason why I should try it".

As I say - if someone is engaging with masturbation and porn to the degree that it is causing some negative impact on their lives then of course they should give abstinence a try.

Ah the old "stop thinking - just do it" approach. Usually get that one from the religious - with the use of reason being the antithesis of what they are attempting to achieve.

I'm the most unreligious person you'd ever meet, so I'm not gonna try convince you jerking off and porn are morally wrong. It has nothing to do with that kind of philosophy. You're arguing logic left right and centre, you're completely operating from your head and this thing has nothing to do with logic or reason. It's taking place on another level, and that's not religious either, that's life, that's being human. You're looking for explanations where there isn't any. You're just gonna have to try it and see for yourself.......let go of all your arguments and defences and take a leap of faith. I promise you nothing bad will happen, you're not gonna implode, you're not gonna lose your sex drive or be overwhelmed by it. I guarantee you only positive and good things will come out of you doing this. You just have to let go of all the arguments and reasoning, see them for what they are (defences ) and do it.

strelok

santana75 wrote: »

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina. By giving it a break you resensitize it so that a vagina actually feels a lot stronger than it did when you used your hands.

all that means is that you're masturbating wrong

you're an adult now, you don't just have to knock it out in 15 seconds cos your parents are in the other room

santana75

strelok wrote: »

all that means is that you're masturbating wrong

you're an adult now, you don't just have to knock it out in 15 seconds cos your parents are in the other room

Why not test that out though. Dont jerk off for 30 days, then go have sex with a real live girl, see if there's a difference.

Penn

Had a circumcision a few years ago. Was told I should probably wait 6 weeks before masturbating, and 8 weeks before sex.

After 4 weeks, I couldn't take it any more. What followed was the best, scariest and most dangerous **** of my life. Not just because of the new sensitivity of my dick, but the danger of ripping a stitch, and the buildup of 4 weeks of going for a p*ss as soon as I got an erection in order to lose the erection.

That **** was glorious. Glorious, I tell you!

TheDD

Fracking is bad for the environment I heard

One eyed Jack

santana75 wrote: »

I'm the most unreligious person you'd ever meet, so I'm not gonna try convince you jerking off and porn are morally wrong. It has nothing to do with that kind of philosophy. You're arguing logic left right and centre, you're completely operating from your head and this thing has nothing to do with logic or reason. It's taking place on another level, and that's not religious either, that's life, that's being human. You're looking for explanations where there isn't any. You're just gonna have to try it and see for yourself.......let go of all your arguments and defences and take a leap of faith. I promise you nothing bad will happen, you're not gonna implode, you're not gonna lose your sex drive or be overwhelmed by it. I guarantee you only positive and good things will come out of you doing this. You just have to let go of all the arguments and reasoning, see them for what they are (defences ) and do it.

L. Ron Hubbard wants a word for breach of copyright... :pac:


Seriously though, can we actually be adults about this? The term is 'masturbation'. 'Fap' or 'fapping' sounds like a euphemism an immature teenager would use because they aren't familiar with the concept of masturbation as part and parcel of a healthy sex life.

The idea of this self-restraint is nothing more than another standard by which men (and I dare to use that term loosely in relation to anyone who calls masturbation 'fapping') compete amongst themselves for who can be the most juvenile and immature among them.

The fact that they think of abstaining from masturbation or pornography as in any way healthy or indicative of a healthy mind, should at least qualify them for a Darwin award.

santana75

One eyed Jack wrote: »

The fact that they think of abstaining from masturbation or pornography as in any way healthy or indicative of a healthy mind, should at least qualify them for a Darwin award.

But you don't know that it isn't healthy. Can you honestly say you've gone 90 days without looking at porn or masturbating, in your adult life? Why not test it out and see for yourself?

Celly Smunt

santana75 wrote: »

But you don't know that it isn't healthy. Can you honestly say you've gone 90 days without looking at porn or masturbating, in your adult life? Why not test it out and see for yourself?

I haven't gone without a shower for 90 days in my adult life either, should I try that too?

One eyed Jack

santana75 wrote: »

But you don't know that it isn't healthy.

Actually I do know that thinking that abstaining from masturbation is healthy, is actually very unhealthy, and incredibly immature. There are many health benefits to masturbation and also a person can learn what they like and don't like sexually, and they can communicate these ideas to their partner or indeed partners.

Masturbation itself isn't unhealthy. It's the obsessive and compulsive behaviour is unhealthy, and the same could be said for any behaviour. You're trying to argue that correlation between feeling better and abstaining from masturbation means that abstaining from masturbation must be the cause of you feeling better. Imagine how much better you would feel again if you simply enjoyed masturbation for what it is, rather than attaching any shame or guilt to engaging in a bit of self-exploration and self-love. I recommend you read up on some healthy masturbation techniques before you dismiss the idea out of hand altogether (no pun intended).

Can you honestly say you've gone 90 days without looking at porn or masturbating, in your adult life?

Of course not, and I wouldn't want to either as I see no benefit to such a ridiculous notion. I enjoy a healthy sex life, why should I wish to hamper myself to a life without masturbation or pornography? I'd be miserable. I'd feel uncomfortable and unhealthy. I'd likely have a permanent erection which would be quite off-putting to my immediate work colleagues also. I don't feel any particular need to punish myself like that.

Why not test it out and see for yourself?

1. Because I don't feel I need to.

2. Because I'm not 12 any more, nor do I possess the mentality of a 12 year old.

3. I have no compulsion to encourage silly 'challenges' that aren't a challenge at all. When I want to challenge myself, I can think of more productive and healthy challenges than this nonsense.

santana75

Celly Smunt wrote: »

I haven't gone without a shower for 90 days in my adult life either, should I try that too?

But what are you afraid of? What bad thing do you believe will happen if you do this?

One eyed Jack

Smithrb wrote: »

On what basis do you think there are no benefits to abstaining from masturbation?

On the basis that there aren't any.

On the basis that the physical, mental, psychological and emotional benefits of masturbation by far and away outweigh any perceived 'benefits' of abstaining from masturbation.

On the basis that I don't take either medical nor scientific advice from anyone who thinks masturbation is unhealthy, or that abstaining from masturbation is in any way healthy.

Wibbs

santana75 wrote: »

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina.

Wut? Jaysus, clearly we differ here but I'm not trying to throttle chickens. For me a vagina is significantly tighter and a more all over pressure than my hand could muster, or would want to muster. Way more genital sensations going on with a woman.

Now I can see circumstances where the hand might be preferable. If the vagina in question was on the cavernous side, the chap's chap was on the smaller side, or if the guy masturbated with a dry hand on the glans*shudder* and desensitised himself to a crazy degree. TBH I've long held that opinion with some women's reliance on vibrators. They can get desensitised. However, again we're looking at extremes here. Like TaxAH said giving up the gargle is a very different thing for an alcoholic compared to someone who has a glass of vino with the sunday roast. I'd think the same about porn. Watching it a couple of times a month, grand, having a terabyte of jazz films on your hard drive while pullin the mickey off yourself thrice daily, get help.

Edgarfrndly wrote: »

It takes about 90 days to rewrite the brain - not 2 weeks.

I'm "rewriting my brain" as we speak. Laying down new memories of a thread on **** for a start.

Masturbation involves unlikely fantasy-driven scenarios.

Depends on what revs your engine. I certainly don't imagine myself being James Bond ridin supermodels. That would cause laughter not orgasm. Unless some thing having sex with women is fantasy driven? I dunno TBH.

Why not read any of the available studies on the issue? I've already linked some.

They are really dubious studies to be fair. Small sample sizes for a start. There's an awful lot of bro science with this subject. IMHO of course.

santana75 wrote: »

Some lads do have sex and just give up porn and masturbation, I'm not convinced about this. It's kind of like junkies being given methidone to get off heroine, it doesn't work.

Da fuq? Jesus I've read it all now.

The big reason I have an issue with this is it's American "manosphere" in nature. A hotbed of daftness and bro science. Up there with US Chick(™) sites on astrology and angels.

Maybe the reason it has originated there is the majority of US men have had their foreskin removed at birth and they're simply less sensitive overall so adding in excessive masturbation to the mix is going to be an issue? Stopping all sexual contact of the penis might make the nerves more sensitive over time? I remember watching(back in the 90's if memory serves) some ITV late night programme on sex and they had a female "expert" in giving men hand jobs. Now the demo willies she brought were rubber in nature, anatomically correct but as she was a Yank they were circumcised. The women taking this lesson were British so I dunno what they thought. I can tell you this though, if she had tried half of the things she claimed were great techniques I might well have broken my never hit a woman mantra. I would have been doubled up in pain, not pleasure. I recall reading one notion/theory that this may also be why US prone heavily features anal. More pressure, more pleasure.

Celly Smunt

santana75 wrote: »

But what are you afraid of? What bad thing do you believe will happen if you do this?

Have you ever seen the road?, I don't want to end up looking like that.

One eyed Jack

Sbmoya wrote: »

So basically because you say so

Well, on the basis that I was asked the question of myself -

On what basis do you think there are no benefits to abstaining from masturbation?

So I could only answer for myself.

why should anyone take medical or scientific advice from you.

If you'd be so kind as to point out where I said, or even implied, that anyone should take any sort of advice from me, I'd really appreciate it. Recommending anything to anyone, should never be construed as advice, either good or bad. It's simply a recommendation.

People are simply saying that they have experienced benefits from abstaining so it might be worth a try to abstain.

They have experienced benefits from quitting a compulsive or obsessive behaviour. Of course that's likely to correlate with better mental health and fitness. That in itself isn't a bad thing, but when it gets to a level where people are only abstaining from masturbation in an effort to appear to be more competent than their peers, that's a very unhealthy mentality in relation to masturbation which will carry with it a number of other issues relating to a person's mental health.

The hair growing back and all the rest of it as though testosterone hormone levels are increased the longer a man abstains from masturbation, are nothing short of ludicrous. I would take those self-reported 'testimonials' as nothing more than someone who is trying hard to convince themselves that what they are doing to themselves is of any benefit to them. It literally is the placebo effect which Wibbs mentioned earlier.

I consider something only worth doing if I can see tangible benefits to it. Abstaining from masturbation? I have quite enough energy, vitality, and virility as I am thank you very much. I have no issues with an unhealthy obsession or compulsive behaviour in relation to masturbation and sex and sexuality. This idea of abstaining from masturbation is nothing more than a throwback to more puritanical times 'when men were men', 'brotherhood' bollocks :rolleyes:

I like a bit of flagellation every now and then too, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. It's certainly a better way for me personally anyway to release some pent-up tension, but it doesn't replace masturbation, nor does it replace sex. It complements them.

You are saying there are no benefits based on no evidence.

No, I'm not. You're claiming that there are actual tangible benefits to abstaining from masturbation, and I'm telling you that what 'evidence' you've presented is neither scientifically sound, nor is it compelling enough to encourage me to behave like a 12 year old again (I stopped for about a week when I left the curtains open by accident and my mother walked by the bedroom window. We couldn't make eye contact for a month after :pac:).

scwazrh

Deleted User wrote: »

Masturbation and porn is not the issue here in other words. Engaging with ANYTHING - including masturbation and porn - to such an excess as to negatively impact other areas of your life - is the problem and therefore abstaining from your vice will of course bring benefits as you describe them.

As a wise man once said " everything in moderation , including moderation"

santana75

santana75 wrote: »

I'm the most unreligious person you'd ever meet, so I'm not gonna try convince you jerking off and porn are morally wrong.

I fear you misunderstood my analogy there. I was not accusing you of being infected religiously or of moralizing porn. I was making an analogy between your "Stop thinking" argument - and theist arguments.

santana75 wrote: »

You're arguing logic left right and centre

As opposed to - arguing illogic? You will forgive me, I hope, if I stick with logic for now. It has served me well to date.

santana75 wrote: »

You're looking for explanations where there isn't any.

On the contrary. If total abstinence from masturbation has a real world benefit there there very much IS going to be explanations for that. I am intrigued to hear why you feel there would not be.

santana75 wrote: »

take a leap of faith.

I would make a religion analogy here but you totally misunderstood my first one

santana75 wrote: »

I promise you nothing bad will happen, you're not gonna implode[.QUOTE]

Ah just like homeopathy then. Nothing to lose and no side effects

santana75 wrote: »

You just have to let go of all the arguments and reasoning, see them for what they are (defences ) and do it.

Now you border on the insidious side of analogies to religion and cults - which is actually what I was predicting by making such analogies in the first place - so I am some what saddened by my own accuracy.

The attempt to equate rationality with being "defensive". A move like that is more becoming of a Scientologist - as one of their "personality evaluation" tests off the side of O'Connell street where they do EXACTLY that - try to equate any attempt to rationalize the sheer unadulterated rubbish they are trying to sell - as a defense mechanism against why they are trying to sell.

When you put a foot into the realm of trying to misrepresent rationality as a defense mechanism against failure or guilt - you have taken that first step into cult think.

santana75 wrote: »

Your hand is a lot stronger than a vagina. When you grip your dick with your hand it's like putting it into a vice compared to a vagina.

Judging from your description of masturbation here by the way - I can only say that the failure and problem is not with masturbation - it is with the fact you are simply doing it wrong Because what you describe ain't like any kind of masturbation I have ever engaged in. Perhaps rather than nonsense preaching against masturbation - you could instead learn how to do it right - and preach that instead

Penny Tration

I'm a woman, and i abstained from sex or masturbation and porn for six months before. No particular reason why, I just did.

And it was feckin' miserable! I noticed no benefits whatsoever, I just felt rubbish and lonely!

santana75

Deleted User wrote: »

Now you border on the insidious side of analogies to religion and cults - which is actually what I was predicting by making such analogies in the first place - so I am some what saddened by my own accuracy.

The attempt to equate rationality with being "defensive". A move like that is more becoming of a Scientologist - as one of their "personality evaluation" tests off the side of O'Connell street where they do EXACTLY that - try to equate any attempt to rationalize the sheer unadulterated rubbish they are trying to sell - as a defense mechanism against why they are trying to sell.

When you put a foot into the realm of trying to misrepresent rationality as a defense mechanism against failure or guilt - you have taken that first step into cult think.

Man you are up in your head so much, you're not even getting what we're trying to tell you. Nobody is trying to take anything away from you, we're actually trying to give you something but you're like a child who thinks he's being told he cant play anymore, and throws a wobbler. Why not just take a punt on this, 30 days thats all it is. If theres no problem there then 30 days will be easy, and when its over you can go back to pulling yourself and watching porn to your hearts content. But what if theres truth to what we're saying? Put your arguments aside for one minute and play devils advocate. Take a chance, give it a go, 30 days and you have nothing to lose.

One eyed Jack

santana75 wrote: »

Man you are up in your head so much, you're not even getting what we're trying to tell you. Nobody is trying to take anything away from you, we're actually trying to give you something but you're like a child who thinks he's being told he cant play anymore, and throws a wobbler. Why not just take a punt on this, 30 days thats all it is. If theres no problem there then 30 days will be easy, and when its over you can go back to pulling yourself and watching porn to your hearts content. But what if theres truth to what we're saying? Put your arguments aside for one minute and play devils advocate. Take a chance, give it a go, 30 days and you have nothing to lose.

I'm not sure if you're oblivious to the fact, but your post is indicative of the sort of sales patter used to successfully sell products to idiots. Now I'm not for a minute suggesting you're an idiot, but your constant repetition of the '30 days', and your talking about yourself in plural form, that's worrying tbh, far more worrying than actually being concerned about the ideology you're trying to convince people to try.

30 days without masturbation, right? But long term you're likely to end up like these chaps -

They simply switched one form of compulsive and obsessive thinking for another - from constantly masturbating and viewing pornography, to obsessive and compulsive thinking about abstaining from masturbation and pornography.

They're 'challenged' alright, but it isn't due to abstaining from masturbation, nor was it masturbation or pornography that caused their thought processes in the first place.

santana75

One eyed Jack wrote: »

30 days without masturbation, right? But long term you're likely to end up like these chaps -

They simply switched one form of compulsive and obsessive thinking for another - from constantly masturbating and viewing pornography, to obsessive and compulsive thinking about abstaining from masturbation and pornography.

But youre jumping to conclusions. You havent done 30 days without jerking off but you're assuming that if you did you'd turn into some kind of nutjob. Do it and find out. Then you can make a judgement. Until then you're making assumptions and worrying about what bad things will happen to you if you stop. Nothing bad will happen, you wont turn into a religious zealot, you wont lose your libido, you wont lose interest in women. You might feel some things that you're afraid of facing though, but thats always a good thing.
I was using the Royal "we" by the way, just like The dude.

Wibbs

This type of asceticism has been around forever. There have always been a minority of men(and women) who went "off grid" and celibacy was one marker of it. The old sexual energy vibe being considered important to refocus. So you ended up with monastic types strapped to rocks in the atlantic and blokes living on top of pillars. Which is all cool, whatever floats your boat, but hardly mainstream and rightfully.

Rambling aside…. There was an reemergence of such thinking in 19th century western thought, along with other angles like musings on origins, authenticity and harking to the past. Likely as a psychic response the rapid pace of change in technology and society at the time. Sound familiar? Today we may be living through similar. A kind of neo victorianism. hipsters can even look like 19th century types, wearing their "authentic" selvedge denim coal miners dungarees, while sipping organic coffee while tweeting about it. Hell, third wave feminism could at times almost be describing some 19th male attitudes to women, by stating they need constant protection and have little or no agency.

The falling off of religion comes into it too. As a fella once said, if you don't believe in something, you have a tendency to believe in anything. So a once monastic angle to celibacy has become a no fap meme on the interwebs.