Smoking in the House

chops018 · 03-10-2015 01:45AM #1

So my parents smoke in the house. Like troopers.

Look, that's fine, it's their decision to smoke and it's their house etc.

But, I am living here and it's quite small, so it's hard to get away from.

I absolutely detest smoking and always have but the last while it just gets more and more on my nerves. They don't give a toss about what I think and when I try to address it calmly with them they just turn around and be all aggressive and tell me to move out. Now, don't get me wrong, they are correct in that If I don't like it I can move out but I am currently in training and won't be on a good salary for a while yet so that's not an option.

Is there any good way to persuade them to have an area for them in the house? Even that would be hard because as I said the house is small and it gets everywhere. My clothes do stink from it too, it's vile. Like sometimes I would nearly have to wash my clothes straight away again from the smoke getting on them. I do keep the clothes grand most of the time by keeping well out of their way and usually changing right before I've to head out but it's not easy. Not to mention being very unhealthy and having a horrible smelling house in general.

Any tips to resolve this?

Merv the perv · 03-10-2015 01:47AM

Not much you can do about that tbh, it's their house.

major bill · 03-10-2015 01:49AM

Move Out

their house their rules.

chops018 · 03-10-2015 01:49AM

Merv the perv wrote: »

Not much you can do about that tbh, it's their house.

Just continue my usual routine so:

Avoid them in the house as much as possible and stay in my room.

Accept it for a while, then go mad again.

Continue on changing clothes before going out, and bide my time until I can move out.

Merv the perv · 03-10-2015 01:53AM

chops018 wrote: »

Just continue my usual routine so:

Avoid them in the house as much as possible and stay in my room.

Accept it for a while, then go mad again.

Continue on changing clothes before going out, and bide my time until I can move out.

Not unless you could have a chat with them and suggest would they mind smoking outside or just have one room in the house where they could smoke till their hearts content.

chops018 · 03-10-2015 01:55AM

Merv the perv wrote: »

Not unless you could have a chat with them and suggest would they mind smoking outside or just have one room in the house where they could smoke till their hearts content.

As per my OP I have already tried that on numerous occasions, and I always try to address it in a calm manner and say how I am embarrassed to bring people over with the smoke, clothes and house in general stinks, and finally bad for a persons health.

It's always met with a hostile reaction.

Junkyard Tom · 03-10-2015 01:55AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp9K4-DHsBA

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 01:55AM

buy them both vaping kits and encourage them to give up..as an ex smoker i know how hard it is to give up and deep down they probably really want to give up but can't..Its a frightening addiction and it wasnt until months after i gave up that i realized how much i hated the smell.

Witcher · 03-10-2015 01:56AM

Obviously trying to smoke you out, time to pack your bags OP.

Merv the perv · 03-10-2015 01:58AM

chops018 wrote: »

As per my OP I have already tried that on numerous occasions, and I always try to address it in a calm manner and say how I am embarrassed to bring people over with the smoke, clothes and house in general stinks, and finally bad for a persons health.

It's always met with a hostile reaction.

Well I'm afraid there's now much you can do. Like I said it's their house you're living in. Maybe you could try introducing them to E-cigs. They've helped a lot of people break the habit, just a thought.

chops018 · 03-10-2015 02:00AM

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

buy them both vaping kits and encourage them to give up..as an ex smoker i know how hard it is to give up and deep down they probably really want to give up but can't..Its a frightening addiction and it wasnt until months after i gave up that i realized how much i hated the smell.

They actually have no intention of giving up at all, unfortunately they say it's the only thing they "do" these days. As they rarely go out and my father hasn't drank since his 20's and the mother never drinks much.

Does the vaping leave a smell and would they enjoy it just as much?

freshpopcorn · 03-10-2015 02:03AM

This is my honest opinion. Even if they smoked outside/in one room. You'd probably still stink of smoke. The smell basically sticks to everything.
If they did give up you'd have to shampoo/clean all the carpets/furniture/curtains/etc and parents paint all the walls and celling(which can often be nearly yellow from smoke.

Filmer Paradise · 03-10-2015 02:06AM

Their house & all that......

Speaking as an ex-smoker: DO NOT EVEN TRY TO MAKE THEM HAVE A 'SMOKING AREA'!!!!

You will make the situation 10 times worse. Fact!

1. Chill out, roll with it. Take up smoking yerself. Family business & all that...

2. Give them Vaping kits. It worked for me & I'm 3 years off them now.:)

3. Move out.

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 02:07AM

chops018 wrote: »

They actually have no intention of giving up at all, unfortunately they say it's the only thing they "do" these days. As they rarely go out and my father hasn't drank since his 20's and the mother never drinks much.

Does the vaping leave a smell and would they enjoy it just as much?

No most vaping products are odourless. Which is great. Ask them to consider giving it a go. I mean surely one of them must have tried giving up in the past? Even the most commited smokers get fed up of smoking. Count yourself lucky that you didnt follow in their footsteps thats all i can say. Some smokers would kick their own son out of the house rather than giving up, or even trying to give up. so thread carefully

chops018 · 03-10-2015 02:08AM

I'm liking the Vaping kits idea. I could give these kits as a present.

However, it will probably be met with hostility, as usual.

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 02:14AM

chops018 wrote: »

They actually have no intention of giving up at all, unfortunately they say it's the only thing they "do" these days. As they rarely go out and my father hasn't drank since his 20's and the mother never drinks much.

Does the vaping leave a smell and would they enjoy it just as much?

To be honest, i enjoy vaping much more than i ever enjoyed cigarettes because there is no smell and you dont get cough/phlegm. I vape menthol which is very refreshing. It may not work for everyone and it may take a while for them to get the hang of, but theres no reason they couldnt make it work if they want it to of course

jamesbondings · 03-10-2015 02:17AM

chops018 wrote: »

I'm liking the Vaping kits idea. I could give these kits as a present.

However, it will probably be met with hostility, as usual.

The stink of attitude and entitlement reeks in here!
It's their house.... Dont like it then leave...

If they don't want to give up then you have no options but to stick it out or leave.
+1 on the Vaping kits. Perhaps you could learn a little about them so as to politely educate them about them, their benefits both health and cost wise but then you gift them a starter pack. Honestly us ex smokers will tell you, if anyone had of came at us about giving up smoking even if we wanted to we would raise hell.

Vaping for some is about giving up smoking for others it's a great hobby. If that's "all they do" then perhaps they may welcome vaping if you help them. No point forcing it on them however as they will feel pressured and resent you no matter how good your intentions.

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 02:21AM

jamesbondings wrote: »

The stink of attitude and entitlement reeks in here!
It's their house.... Dont like it then leave...

If they don't want to give up then you have no options but to stick it out or leave.
+1 on the Vaping kits. Perhaps you could learn a little about them so as to politely educate them about them, their benefits both health and cost wise but then you gift them a starter pack. Honestly us ex smokers will tell you, if anyone had of came at us about giving up smoking even if we wanted to we would raise hell.

Vaping for some is about giving up smoking for others it's a great hobby. If that's "all they do" then perhaps they may welcome vaping if you help them. No point forcing it on them however as they will feel pressured and resent you no matter how good your intentions.

I dont like this saying. He is there son and he is living there, isnt he entitled to an opinion?

chops018 · 03-10-2015 02:25AM

jamesbondings wrote: »

The stink of attitude and entitlement reeks in here!
It's their house.... Dont like it then leave...

If they don't want to give up then you have no options but to stick it out or leave.

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

I dont like this saying. He is there son and he is living there, isnt he entitled to an opinion?

I don't like this saying either.

While I do agree that at the end of the day it's their house their rules etc. as the above poster said I am their son and residing their and it's just so annoying that they can be so stubborn and resort to saying this right away, instead of listening to my concerns, I'm just met with hostility - they would nearly make it their business to smoke more if I ever bring it up.

kneemos · 03-10-2015 02:25AM

Annoy the fcukers by commenting on your inheritance.

jamesbondings · 03-10-2015 02:25AM

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

I dont like this saying. He is there son and he is living there, isnt he entitled to an opinion?

No.... It's their house.
He is entitled to worry about them in terms of their health etc but not hassle them about their habits in their home regardless of if he likes or doesn't like it.

B.A._Baracus · 03-10-2015 02:26AM

You answered your own question there op in your first post.
It's their house so... they set the rules. Just like you'll eventually set your own rules in your house.

So if smoking is really annoying you then it adds to the reasons of why you should move out and get some space for yourself. But it is interesting as to why you posted this. As you are fully aware that it is their house. So be honest.... Like really be honest. You wanted people to get back to your post saying how vile smoking was? that you are in the right to tell them to stop smoking.

You wanted some big circle-jerk about how smoking is vile...

jamesbondings · 03-10-2015 02:30AM

chops018 wrote: »

I don't like this saying either.

While I do agree that at the end of the day it's their house their rules etc. as the above poster said I am their son and residing their and it's just so annoying that they can be so stubborn and resort to saying this right away, instead of listening to my concerns, I'm just met with hostility - they would nearly make it their business to smoke more if I ever bring it up.

I would imagine by your posts that you may be pushing their buttons by not bringing the topic up in the right way. For a smoker it's a sensitive issue that can easily lead to arguments... The y will listen if you bring it up in a calm and helpful manner. Perhaps highlighting that you love them, are worried of their health etc rather than you are sick of the smell and you have to keep changing your clothes before you go anywhere.

kneemos · 03-10-2015 02:30AM

Course he can tell them to stop smoking,they're not strangers.

Nagging is the key,enough annoyance and they'll eventually move outside.

chops018 · 03-10-2015 02:31AM

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

You answered your own question there op in your first post.
It's their house so... they set the rules. Just like you'll eventually set your own rules in your house.

So if smoking is really annoying you then it adds to the reasons of why you should move out and get some space for yourself. But it is interesting as to why you posted this. As you are fully aware that it is their house. So be honest.... Like really be honest. You wanted people to get back to your post saying how vile smoking was? that you are in the right to tell them to stop smoking.

You wanted some big circle-jerk about how smoking is vile...

Yes and no.

I wanted to vent about how horrible I think smoking is and my experiences of living at home with two parents who smoke a lot.

But also I was looking for some insight from anyone who tackled trying to sort out something with their parents who smoke while living at home. Could have got advice from others who were in the same situation.

As I said, if I wasn't a trainee I would be looking for alternative living arrangements. I was close to doing it last year when I had a good job and salary but I knew I would be going to back to train in the area I went to college for so I saved up a lot to last year to be able to do what I'm doing now. Hopefully in time I can move out but I am not in a position to do that for a while. Hence venting.

jamesbondings · 03-10-2015 02:33AM

kneemos wrote: »

Course he can tell them to stop smoking,they're not strangers.

Nagging is the key,enough annoyance and they'll eventually move outside.

I lolled at this. I assume it's a joke.
But if not.... Nagging is the key..... Enough annoyance and they will kick him out.....

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 02:33AM

chops018 wrote: »

I don't like this saying either.

While I do agree that at the end of the day it's their house their rules etc. as the above poster said I am their son and residing their and it's just so annoying that they can be so stubborn and resort to saying this right away, instead of listening to my concerns, I'm just met with hostility - they would nearly make it their business to smoke more if I ever bring it up.

I dont think you are doing anything wrong, and if anything i commend you for standing up for something that you believe in and what you think is right. However this is a battle you may not be able to win. If no middle ground can be met, then i think it may be time to spread your wings and move out. But good luck with whatever happens.

Tony EH · 03-10-2015 02:47AM

chops018 wrote: »

So my parents smoke in the house. Like troopers.

Look, that's fine, it's their decision to smoke and it's their house etc.

But, I am living here and it's quite small, so it's hard to get away from.

I absolutely detest smoking and always have but the last while it just gets more and more on my nerves. They don't give a toss about what I think and when I try to address it calmly with them they just turn around and be all aggressive and tell me to move out. Now, don't get me wrong, they are correct in that If I don't like it I can move out but I am currently in training and won't be on a good salary for a while yet so that's not an option.

Is there any good way to persuade them to have an area for them in the house? Even that would be hard because as I said the house is small and it gets everywhere. My clothes do stink from it too, it's vile. Like sometimes I would nearly have to wash my clothes straight away again from the smoke getting on them. I do keep the clothes grand most of the time by keeping well out of their way and usually changing right before I've to head out but it's not easy. Not to mention being very unhealthy and having a horrible smelling house in general.

Any tips to resolve this?

Frankly, if they're going to be cunts about it. There's not that much you can do. However, I kicked up so much of a "stink" about my parents smoking, that they did their smoking in the conservatory. In fairness to them, they understood (and agreed).

It still fucked them up. One died of COPD and the other had five strokes and now regrets every cigarette he ever went near.

In fairness to you, your parents are NOT correct. You didn't ask to be here. They made the decision to bring you into the world.

Stacksofwacks · 03-10-2015 02:59AM

Tony EH wrote: »

Frankly, if they're going to be cunts about it. There's not that much you can do. However, I kicked up so much of a "stink" about my parents smoking, that they did their smoking in the conservatory. In fairness to them, they understood (and agreed).

It still fucked them up. One died of COPD and the other had five strokes and now regrets every cigarette he ever went near.

In fairness to you, your parents are NOT correct. You didn't ask to be here. They made the decision to bring you into the world.

haha theres an acheivement! Actually a lot smokers would appreciate that because it would mean they would smoke less as it creates a greater effort to go and have a smoke, hence a greater reward! Plus it keeps theyre house cleaner smelling.

pillphil · 03-10-2015 03:04AM

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

haha theres an acheivement! Actually a lot smokers would appreciate that because it would mean they would smoke less as it creates a greater effort to go and have a smoke, hence a greater reward! Plus it keeps theyre house cleaner smelling.

Speaking as an ex smoker, none of that is true.

Except the smell bit.

OP what do you mean by trainee? No wages at all?

Tony EH · 03-10-2015 03:08AM

Stacksofwacks wrote: »

haha theres an acheivement! Actually a lot smokers would appreciate that because it would mean they would smoke less as it creates a greater effort to go and have a smoke, hence a greater reward! Plus it keeps theyre house cleaner smelling.

To their credit, they were pretty sensible about it. plus, we had a place in our house where they could go and have a fag.

While it made living there a better situation, it didn't help them in the long run.

I'd much rather they just gave up and were still around.

Smoking in the House

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