Farting in front of your significant other

hairyslug wrote: »

I had a pizza the night before my birthday not knowing that my wife had booked me in for a Swedish massage the next day. Pizza gives me terrible bloating and gas. For the hour of the massage, I've never clenched so hard.

Reminds me of the time I was visiting a close friend and his new lady. She struck me as a woman who wouldn't appreciate the more base side of humanity. So I had to hold in gas for the entire evening. I was never as happy to see a session finish up and by that stage, I had really painful cramps with all the trapped wind. By the time I finally got it out, I must have blew for about 30 seconds and it sounded like a cross between a dirt bike and a banshee. I had before nor since, experienced such relief.

Anyway the reason why I mentioned it sounded like a Banshee was. The next morning down at breakfast, herself asked me did I believe in a spirit world and stuff like that. When I inquired as to what perked her interest, she said she heard this terrible wail when when was in the en-suite and the wail seemed to last forever. She seemed really freaked out by it. Yes, the unearthly wail she heard was from the massive fart I made in the adjoining main bathroom. And my momentary sense of embarrassment, was quickly suppressed by feelings of immense pride.