How were you disciplined as a kid?

MilesMorales1 · 18-09-2015 02:14PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Jesus.

Christ.

That's fairly shocking. A belt and fists? In the 90s? Being locked out?

I'm afraid your Dad needs a bit of a talking to.

Was born in the 70s. Was given out to a few times. The usual threat was that if I continued to arse around in school I would be sent to boarding school...but knew it was idle cos I was pretty much doted on.

He got it after he hospitalised me for the third time, no need to worry.

I mean what he did was clearly abuse, but I still stand by what I said about physical punishment.

5starpool · 18-09-2015 02:15PM

Drexel wrote: »

Smacked on the back of the legs with a skinny bendy stick from outside. Was like a whip!

The sally rod. We used to get skelps of that too although it was mostly the threat of it that made us stop whatever we were at. We never got hit hard with it though.

I remember going on a campaign of hiding the stick so that each time my mother would have to go out and get a new one that I'd promptly hide again. It was funny when she found my hiding place that had about 20 of them in it at that point. Well, it was funny until I realised I'd given her a new arsenal of weapons.

Never did me any harm, etc. A long time ago now though since I was last threatened with the rod.

KERSPLAT! · 18-09-2015 02:19PM

Born in '86, usually just the threat of the wooden spoon, I don't remember it ever actually been used. Probably a few slaps on the leg or backside. I don't think it did me any harm but who knows!?

My lad is only 9 months but I know now that I won't be using those discipline methods myself in future, there are plenty of other ways to discipline a child.

REXER · 18-09-2015 02:20PM

Cattle prod, chainsaw and microwave oven (until I outgrew it). But it never did me any harm at all!

Just kidding.

18-09-2015 02:21PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

He got it after he hospitalised me for the third time, no need to worry.

:eek:

Jesus. I'm so sorry for you. I can't imagine anything worse than an abusive parent. To hospitalise one's own child? If you have forgiven him good for you, it's probably better than carrying it around, you have a bigger heart than me.

brevity · 18-09-2015 02:27PM

Wooden Spoon as well. I feel like it should be on the Irish flag like the Ak47 is on Mozambique's flag.

AudreyHepburn · 18-09-2015 02:33PM

Mid 80s child here....I can only recall one or two incidents of being slapped on the bum, and not severe slaps either just a light tape.

My parents never resorted to physical discipline, they would just get cross and take away a toy/book/ the tv etc.

OP with all due respect what you describe isn't discipline imo, it's abuse. There is never any call to raise a hand to child.

R.D. aka MR.D · 18-09-2015 02:34PM

5starpool wrote: »

The sally rod. We used to get skelps of that too although it was mostly the threat of it that made us stop whatever we were at. We never got hit hard with it though.

I remember going on a campaign of hiding the stick so that each time my mother would have to go out and get a new one that I'd promptly hide again. It was funny when she found my hiding place that had about 20 of them in it at that point. Well, it was funny until I realised I'd given her a new arsenal of weapons.
.

Oh my god, I never knew other kids did this. My Mammy had a sally rod and we used to take turns breaking it because it would take her a week or so to go out and cut another one.

My Granny used to hit us with a wet dish cloth but not very often.

My mammy was terrible though. Definitely abuse. She would hit us for no reason. For example if you were out playing and fell and cut your knee, you'd be hit until the skin on your back was raw. Stubbed your toe? Same thing. Daddy promised to take you somewhere but he was too busy drinking at the pub? Start crying? She would say: I'll give you something to cry about.

It messed me up pretty bad. If I get hurt now, for example cut myself on a sharp kitchen knife recently and was pumping blood, hurt like hell. I couldn't cry. It's like a weird numbness comes over me when I'm in physical pain. OH tried to help me and I recoiled from him because I expect to be hit when I get hurt accidentally.

I don't think an odd slap does any harm but people like my mother take it too far. If you asked her now, she would still say that she didn't do anything wrong.

booooring! · 18-09-2015 02:35PM

Sweet chin music or stunner was my punishment.

onasis · 18-09-2015 02:45PM

My father was a very cross man who used to beat us, my mother included.

One day he beat me because a neighbours teenage daughter got pregnant and he was warning me that it was not to happen to me.

He's dead now and I'm in my 50's but I still bear the emotion scars.

kfallon · 18-09-2015 02:46PM

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I don't take issue with a light slap on the arse from the time to time btw.

I bet you don't.....

:pac:

arayess · 18-09-2015 02:47PM

i was battered left right and center. fists, a stick not sure about a belt
usually poor man was driven to it by my mothers freak out.

He punched me when i was 17 and I calmly told him I'd kill him if he did that again. and he didn't. happy days for all

this was 80's to early 90s.

we get on grand now.
I think men go through an odd phase in the 30's/40s pre mid life crisis . nobody talks about it though. A changing of your life that isn't always a good thing.
some of your mates are living the dream while you are waking up to the fact you are broke and will be for a decade , your kids are annoying you and your wife isn't as sound as you thought a few years ago. in fact she is a harpy .
no divorce etc... pressure cooker in your head.
no wonder they drink.

Boom_Bap · 18-09-2015 02:50PM

I never got my parent angry enough for discipline.

They were just 'disappointed' when I was a git. That's probably the worst of them all.

_Whimsical_ · 18-09-2015 02:51PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

He got it after he hospitalised me for the third time, no need to worry.

I mean what he did was clearly abuse, but I still stand by what I said about physical punishment.

Jesus, that's dreadful to have experienced that, I'm very sorry it was ever infliicted upon you.
Just because you have survived very difficult experiences though doesn't mean that you should have had to. You would most likely have turned out as you are had your parents employed nonviolent tactics like talking to you about your actions, consistently pointing out right from wrong, denying you privileges as punishment. We only have the lens of our own experience to view these things, you might not realise how well other ways can work.

I can see how sometimes a slap can be necessary, eg my friends child ,age three, races out his gate into the road whenever it's left open. He doesn't understand threats of getting run over, he doesn't understand that later tonight he won't get to watch tv if he misbehaves at 3pm. He has seemed to understand that someone getting very angry and shouting and giving him a slap on the hand is something to be avoided though and he has stopped. I can sympathise with a small tap and firm words when you're protecting a child from killing themselves but not hitting as means of general discipline.

PARlance · 18-09-2015 02:53PM

One of my best memories as a kid was my mother, wooden spoon in hand, chasing my youngest brother (about 7 or 8 at the time) around the kitchen table for about 10 minutes. He was being cheered on by his 3 elder brothers and every change of direction we gave him an Olé. His face was a picture, no fear in the slightest just a cheeky grin of a guy in control of the situation,

As the Motherdor grew tired, her anger had been wiped out by the grin and he got nothing more than a big hug. The bugger would charm his way out of anything to this day.

But ya, 80's kid and still clench my bottox when I make a mistake. Can't see myself or my wife using the same measures but can't say it did me much harm either. Kids are very young so the bridge is yet to be "crossed".

I don't want well reasoned brats but I don't want to use force either.

Maximus Alexander · 18-09-2015 02:55PM

My mam used to beat the sh!t out of us.

My dad never raised a hand in anger and would just look you in the eye and tell you he was disappointed in you.

The latter was much more effective.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 18-09-2015 02:56PM

arayess wrote: »

I think men go through an odd phase in the 30's/40s pre mid life crisis . nobody talks about it though. A changing of your life that isn't always a good thing.
some of your mates are living the dream while you are waking up to the fact you are broke and will be for a decade , your kids are annoying you and your wife isn't as sound as you thought a few years ago. in fact she is a harpy .
no divorce etc... pressure cooker in your head.
no wonder they drink.

I call rubbish on that. If it's in you to beat somebody then it's in you. Mid life crisis is a cop out in my opinion. Most of us go through that phase in our late 30s when mortgage, family etc puts us under financial strain. We have mostly at that stage got friends who seem to be living better than us and our kids are at that "difficult phase". We don't generally deal with it by lashing out with physical violence.
Of course it may happen some but it is certainly no way near the norm.

SillyBeans · 18-09-2015 02:57PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I can see how sometimes a slap can be necessary, eg my friends child ,age three, races out his gate into the road whenever it's left open.

Make sure the gate stays closed then

Cold War Kid · 18-09-2015 03:01PM

arayess wrote: »

i was battered left right and center. fists, a stick not sure about a belt
usually poor man was driven to it by my mothers freak out.

He punched me when i was 17 and I calmly told him I'd kill him if he did that again. and he didn't. happy days for all

this was 80's to early 90s.

we get on grand now.
I think men go through an odd phase in the 30's/40s pre mid life crisis . nobody talks about it though. A changing of your life that isn't always a good thing.
some of your mates are living the dream while you are waking up to the fact you are broke and will be for a decade , your kids are annoying you and your wife isn't as sound as you thought a few years ago. in fact she is a harpy .
no divorce etc... pressure cooker in your head.
no wonder they drink.

Christ, the man batters him around the place and it's the women's fault.

Jesus.

That "odd" phase is really not odd at all and is otherwise known as "life", which people constantly talk about. These difficult realisations that married life/family life isn't a bed of roses, are not only experienced by men either btw - e.g. the harpy wife having to deal with her heavily drinking, violent husband in the scenario you describe.

The vast vast majority of men don't resort to heavy drinking and violence when they are going through this phase, because they take responsibility for themselves.

_Whimsical_ · 18-09-2015 03:04PM

SillyBeans wrote: »

Make sure the gate stays closed then

Yup but he's a dynamo! Answer the door to the postman and he's out the door and out the gate really fast, the guy who delivers the paper leaves the gate open and then they leave the house to get in the car later and he's gone again! Obviously they leave the gate closed though but he's pretty hyper so needs to be watched every minute, he's just awfully fast!

sjb25 · 18-09-2015 03:04PM

SillyBeans wrote: »

Make sure the gate stays closed then

Or

SillyBeans · 18-09-2015 03:13PM

sjb25 wrote: »

Or

Nah

SillyBeans · 18-09-2015 03:18PM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Yup but he's a dynamo! Answer the door to the postman and he's out the door and out the gate really fast, the guy who delivers the paper leaves the gate open and then they leave the house to get in the car later and he's gone again! Obviously they leave the gate closed though but he's pretty hyper so needs to be watched every minute, he's just awfully fast!

Then hold his hand when they answer the door or make him stay in another room for the few seconds it takes. Get one of those gates that close automatically with a spring or whatever. I still can't open my Granny's gate, it's practically welded shut. There was never a fear of me escaping!

I'm not picking on your friends but in general this is why I think a slap is lazy. There's plenty they could do to remove the issue but instead they slap the kid. My dog runs out the door so I make sure he doesn't go to the door when I answer it and make sure my gate is closed at all times. If I can do that for my dog, I don't see why they can't do it for their child? Remove the dangerous situation, don't punish the child for exploring. He could be the next Dora the Explorer for all they know!

uch · 18-09-2015 03:18PM

My Ma chased me and the brother with a hatchet when we were about 10 & 11, we were fighting over a dartboard, she couldn't catch us so she chopped up the Dartboard instead as punishment. I still laugh thinking of the expression of Fury in her when she was chopping up the board.
Love you Ma

Cienciano · 18-09-2015 03:22PM

frostyjacks wrote: »

Corporeal punishment, but only if I deserved it. Did me no harm, if more kids were introduced to the business end of a leather belt the country would be a much better place.

Couldnt disagree more. Head into a rough neighbourhood with kids running wild. You think their parents don't hit them?
And you said it did you no harm, but here you are thinking assaulting children is a good idea.

Hitting children is for lazy parents.

MilesMorales1 · 18-09-2015 03:28PM

Cienciano wrote: »

Couldnt disagree more. Head into a rough neighbourhood with kids running wild. You think their parents don't hit them?
And you said it did you no harm, but here you are thinking assaulting children is a good idea.

Hitting children is for lazy parents.

Well why do you think kids these days have fewer boundaries?

I was gonna say why are they such little ****s, but.

The_Morrigan · 18-09-2015 03:29PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

Well why do you think kids these days have fewer boundaries?

I was gonna say why are they such little ****s, but.

Because they are not taught respect.

SillyBeans · 18-09-2015 03:33PM

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

Well why do you think kids these days have fewer boundaries?

I was gonna say why are they such little ****s, but.

It's not just kids that have fewer boundaries. People are assholes in general. Walk around any town or city in the country and listen to the rubbish people are spouting. Read the comments on pretty much any Facebook post! I work with a lot of horrible people in my job and most of them are of an age were getting more than a slap was normal. It didn't put them on the right route. There's a huge laziness and sense of entitlement in our society at the minute. We all want someone else to sort our problems out for us. Ask any teacher and they'll tell you that parents these days, generally, will be more likely to blame the teacher rather than their child if there's an issue. A lot of people I'm acquainted with at the moment have kids, the ones who get a slap are no better behaved than those who don't.

clever user name · 18-09-2015 03:35PM

Many a slap on the arse, never anything more. Seems mild when I think about it now, but not when your kid. It was the ultimate 'you f**ked up' response. Never done me any harm though!

SillyBeans · 18-09-2015 03:35PM

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Because they are not taught respect.

Exactly.

Teacher: Johnny punched Martin today. This isn't acceptable.
Mother: *thump* you can't *smack* go around *slap* punching people!
Child: eh.....

How were you disciplined as a kid?

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