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Wedding on match day

2

Comments

  • #32
    Malari
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    I nearly had a heart attack recently when I thought we'd scheduled our wedding on a major rugby world cup day (we hadn't). I mean, I would have been skipping out myself to watch it! :P:pac:

    For me it would be the rugby - no contest. If you want a small wedding it might work :cool:


  • #33
    Larbre34
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,105 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    We did end up with our date on a major rugby day. We had the ceremony a bit late purpose so it clashed with the match, the priest asked for phones to be turned off (which he would do anyway) and everyone caught up with the result later.

    We are both massive fans ourselves but really it didn't matter, anyone you are close to who would genuinely choose to watch a match over their friends' wedding, you don't want there in the first place. We did hear rumblings that some lads werent going to come and their girlfriends told them to cop on.

    One thing you might have an issue with is the price of flights in and out of Ireland on Paddys weekend. Some Irish based people mightnt thank you for making them travel at all on that date...


  • #34
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    I was a wedding on the day we played France for the 6 nations in 2014.

    Rather stupidly (I thought) they didn't arrange to have a tv in the reception room for people to keep track of the match.

    A lot of people, myself included, watched the match on our phones during the meal/speeches. A few abandoned the meal for the hotel bar.

    TBH, it was a pretty sh;t wedding anyway, but clashing it with the match didn't help with the mood.

    Personally, I'd reschedule if it was me. The people saying that ' a true friend would never choose the match over the wedding' are deluded. A lot of people there will be plus ones or distant relatives who won't view your wedding with the same priority as you do.


  • #35
    lazygal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Barely There wrote: »

    Personally, I'd reschedule if it was me. The people saying that ' a true friend would never choose the match over the wedding' are deluded. A lot of people there will be plus ones or distant relatives who won't view your wedding with the same priority as you do.

    I've just rescheduled or changed dates for several upcoming events as himself wants to attend or watch many upcoming rugby matches. I can only imagine the moaning and wailing and wondering why the planning went wrong if even a very close friend invited us to a wedding on a big day you can plan for in advance.


  • #36
    Shybride2016
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 460 ✭✭Shybride2016


    I'm another one in the no camp I'm afraid.

    Was at a wedding years ago when there was a match on and I felt so sorry for the bride. People were in and out of the meal the whole time and like a previous poster, some had to be called back for dessert etc. So unbelievably rude I thought but people are weird!

    I'd say for your own sakes just change the date as three matches would be a disaster Imo.

    Congrats on the engagement btw and enjoy the planning once you've a date set in stone!


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  • #37
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    Shybride2016 wrote: »
    I felt so sorry for the bride. People were in and out of the meal the whole time and like a previous poster, some had to be called back for dessert etc. So unbelievably rude I thought but people are weird!

    I wouldn't feel too sorry for the bride in that scenario.
    Some brides make the mistake of thinking their big day is everyone else's too. For most people at your wedding, that won't be the case. For many, a major sporting event will take priority over the bog-standard Irish wedding of a casual acquaintance.

    If the bride doesn't have the wherewithal to realise this and come to an arrangement with the hotel or schedule around it, my sympathies would be limited.


  • #38
    Shybride2016
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 460 ✭✭Shybride2016


    Barely There wrote: »
    I wouldn't feel too sorry for the bride in that scenario.
    Some brides make the mistake of thinking their big day is everyone else's too. For most people at your wedding, that won't be the case. For many, a major sporting event will take priority over the bog-standard Irish wedding of a casual acquaintance.

    If the bride doesn't have the wherewithal to realise this and come to an arrangement with the hotel or schedule around it, my sympathies would be limited.

    We'll have to agree to disagree on that one. I take your point that nobody else is as fussed about the big day apart from the couple getting married. But I think it's very rude for people to accept an invitation to a wedding or any other occasion and then be openly in and out to the bar to watch a match while people are making speeches or hotel staff are serving food etc. IMO either accept the invitation and go with good grace or not.

    Personally having been a guest at a wedding which clashed with a big match I made a point of picking a date that (so far) didn't clash with anything. Both for mine and the guests sake.


  • #39
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Cakerbaker wrote: »
    I was at a wedding one time with a big rugby match on. A lot of people left the dining room after ordering to go back to the bar, had to be sent for when their starters arrived, they left to go back to the bar to watch the match between each course until the match was over.

    Wow, that's so rude!


  • #40
    Tefral
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,417 ✭✭✭Tefral


    Tarzana2 wrote: »
    Wow, that's so rude!

    Doesn't seem as bad if everyone is doing it ya see!


  • #41
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Barely There wrote: »
    The people saying that ' a true friend would never choose the match over the wedding' are deluded. A lot of people there will be plus ones or distant relatives who won't view your wedding with the same priority as you do.

    A true friend is a distant relative or plus one?

    Anyway, pick another day OP, it's three games, not one.


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  • #42
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Barely There wrote: »
    Some brides make the mistake of thinking their big day is everyone else's too. For most people at your wedding, that won't be the case. For many, a major sporting event will take priority over the bog-standard Irish wedding of a casual acquaintance.

    Then don't attend the wedding. If you're a casual acquaintance, that would be fine. IMO if you RSVP yes, you should participate fully in the day. It's very rude to skip out on one of the main parts of the day.


  • #43
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    cronin_j wrote: »
    Doesn't seem as bad if everyone is doing it ya see!

    It is though.


  • #44
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    Tarzana2 wrote: »
    It's very rude to skip out on one of the main parts of the day.

    'Rude' is a very subjective term, and regardless of whether it is or isn't rude, it will happen if the wedding clashes with a sporting event - all the finger-wagging and pontificating in the world won't stop it.

    Better to arrange the wedding so as not to clash - especially if you're the kind of bride to get upset about people popping out during the meal.


  • #45
    Malari
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Tarzana2 wrote: »
    Then don't attend the wedding. If you're a casual acquaintance, that would be fine. IMO if you RSVP yes, you should participate fully in the day. It's very rude to skip out on one of the main parts of the day.

    Well, sometimes one half of a couple attending would be a good friend and the other half a casual acquaintance. I can see how it can happen.


  • #46
    simonw
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 650 ✭✭✭simonw


    Tarzana2 wrote: »
    Then don't attend the wedding. If you're a casual acquaintance, that would be fine. IMO if you RSVP yes, you should participate fully in the day. It's very rude to skip out on one of the main parts of the day.

    surely it would be ruder to rsvp no because there is a match on telly?


  • #47
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    simonw wrote: »
    surely it would be ruder to rsvp no because there is a match on telly?

    three matches and not any ould match

    Ruder to go and not participate in the wedding imo


  • #48
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    simonw wrote: »
    surely it would be ruder to rsvp no because there is a match on telly?

    I guess some people might consider it ruder to do that, but I personally wouldn't.

    Personally, if there was one game on, I'd happily incorporate it into the day myself. Done right, it could be fun and add to the atmosphere.

    And I wouldn't plan a wedding for a day when three key matches are on.

    But I firmly believe if you are invited to an event that clashes with a game and you accept, and no provisions are made on the day for watching the game, then you just need to grow up and suck it up and act like a normal functioning adult who has been let loose on society.

    Not everyone is very aware of sporting events, and that goes for menfolk too, I know a fair few who only vaguely follow sports. So them planning an event to clash with a game could be a genuine oversight. Seems mean-spirited to feck off on them. It's not necessarily all down to the bride being a princess.


  • #49
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Malari wrote:
    Well, sometimes one half of a couple attending would be a good friend and the other half a casual acquaintance. I can see how it can happen.

    Not to mention all the people who go because they feel they have to, not because they particularly want to. Weddings go on for way too long anyway and people might be looking for an excuse to get out of that room.


  • #50
    Barely There
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,481 ✭✭✭Barely There


    Tarzana2 wrote: »

    But I firmly believe if you are invited to an event that clashes with a game and you accept, and no provisions are made on the day for watching the game, then you just need to grow up and suck it up and act like a normal functioning adult who has been let loose on society.

    Everyone is of course entitled to their beliefs, but trying to impose those beliefs on 150 odd people, some of whom may not know the couple very well, just won't work.


  • #51
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Barely There wrote: »
    Everyone is of course entitled to their beliefs, but trying to impose those beliefs on 150 odd people, some of whom may not know the couple very well, just won't work.

    Oh indeed, people will do what they want, and you can't make them do what you want. They'll just look terribly ill-mannered, but as they won't see many people there again, I'm sure they can live with that. If they are close friends with the couple, then it might be remembered in that circle.


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  • #52
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    Barely There wrote: »
    Better to arrange the wedding so as not to clash - especially if you're the kind of bride to get upset about people popping out during the meal.

    I'd say most brides are that kind of bride. Lots of things on this forum are put down to bridezilla behaviour but IMO, this isn't being a bridezilla. People walking out during out of the meal? Yeah, maybe some people might not find that rude. I'd hazard a guess that most people would though. I'd find it dreadfully rude myself, and I could not be farther from a bridezilla, as in, I'm currently engaged and am considering the two of us running off to get married. So, yeah, whether it's rude is subjective but I'd rather not risk upset my friends than see some game. Hardly worth it, is it?


  • #53
    clint_silver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,915 ✭✭✭clint_silver


    Im looking at the matches and no matter what way you cut it, welsh fans wont miss the wales match at 2, ireland fans wont miss the irish match at 5 and if Ireland or wales are topping the table going into the 8pm match between france and england and one of those teams can win it, theres isnt a self respecting rugby fan who'd miss that match, wedding or no.

    Anyone can argue til they're blue in the face how rude it is, and it is rude. But theres a perspective here of how important that is and fair play to you for
    1. figuring out the matches were on and 2. being astute enough to know you had to do something about it.

    Its a move date for me, even if it turns out wales and ireland arent in contention going to that last day, you dont know that now.


  • #54
    Tarzana2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,553 ✭✭✭Tarzana2


    clint_silver wrote: »
    Anyone can argue til they're blue in the face how rude it is, and it is rude. But theres a perspective here of how important that is and fair play to you for
    1. figuring out the matches were on and 2. being astute enough to know you had to do something about it.

    People aren't saying it's rude to consider not having it that day, with three big matches being a bit too much to ignore. Most seem in agreement that a different day should be picked.


  • #55
    Dr Little Seal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3 ✭Dr Little Seal


    Well thanks to everyone for posting! Think the overwhelming majority think it's best to change the date and to tell the truth both of us knew that deep down anyway! Here's to two more of years of planning! :-)


  • #56
    Spanish Eyes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,199 ✭✭✭✭Spanish Eyes


    Dr Little Seal wrote: »
    Well thanks to everyone for posting! Think the overwhelming majority think it's best to change the date and to tell the truth both of us knew that deep down anyway! Here's to two more of years of planning! :-)

    I think you are making the right decision.

    You will enjoy the alternative date so much better without having to concern yourselves with THREE matches on the day.

    Best of luck.


  • #57
    clint_silver
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,915 ✭✭✭clint_silver


    Tarzana2 wrote: »
    People aren't saying it's rude to consider not having it that day, with three big matches being a bit too much to ignore. Most seem in agreement that a different day should be picked.

    I was referring to the rudeness of people going to the bar


  • #58
    ChewChew
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,367 ✭✭✭✭ChewChew


    Dr Little Seal wrote: »
    Well thanks to everyone for posting! Think the overwhelming majority think it's best to change the date and to tell the truth both of us knew that deep down anyway! Here's to two more of years of planning! :-)
    This thread near gave me the fright of my life. Holy mother divine all I can say is thank the sun,
    Moon and stars that we booked our wedding for 25th March 2017 because if it had been the 18th, well that would have been a disaster and I'd be divorced before I even got married!!! :D definitely the best thing to do is push the date out!


  • #59
    akamossy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭akamossy


    I'd definitely change the date. Ours is booked for the 23rd of March 2017 luckily after its all over and on a Thursday haha. My fiance would probably cry if we had booked it for the 18th.


  • #60
    Gatica
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,302 ✭✭✭Gatica


    Stheno wrote: »
    If a lot of your guests are rugby fans, tbh I'd change the date.

    If you've got people on the invite list who are really into rugby, they might even decline the invite.

    I think this would be the case among many of my friends as well. There's no way you can compete with an important match like that.

    If it was just one match, I'd have suggested enabling the guests to watch the match, as they'd remember you and your wedding as legend for that and thank you for it. 3 matches, and you're talking people skipping your wedding, or at the very least being distracted for the best part of the whole day.

    Besides, it's not like the match day crept up on you on your wedding day without you knowing... You know full well it'll be on that day; it may be rude to skip out parts of a wedding to watch a match, but I think it's just as rude to knowingly set a competing event on what is a very important day for many. Why push a date you know will be a conflict for many? Change the date - save yourselves the heartache and headache and pick a different date that you can enjoy with your guests.

    I'm not a sports fan and I don't get the point of an annual hype about the same thing every year. However, I can tell how important it is for some, and I know people would prioritise it over many many other things...
    Larbre34 wrote: »
    anyone you are close to who would genuinely choose to watch a match over their friends' wedding, you don't want there in the first place.

    anyone who genuinely, knowingly and purposefully would set a wedding date on one of the most important days in rugby/other sporting event, you don't want to attend their wedding in the first place.
    works both ways...


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  • #61
    schemingbohemia
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,606 ✭✭✭schemingbohemia


    Could you switch the wedding to the Friday, St Patrick's day, then everyone could chill out the day after watching the matches together?


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