Taking chances....

Mr_Muffin · 06-09-2015 03:25PM

It is hard to leave your comfort zone.

Every single time i have took a chance at anything be it changing jobs, traveling, ending relationships, joining new clubs etc i have be glad i did even though things didn't always work out.

ToddyDoody · 06-09-2015 03:32PM

job seeker wrote: »

Taking chances is something that scares some people. Maybe the fear of getting rejected or perhaps it’s just the fear of the unknown. But why? What is it that makes somebody think they aren't good enough to be in a relationship with that special someone? Like that lady or fella down at the local spar. Each day you go in and go to ask him or her out. But before you know it your walking out the door with that 7th packet of wriggles extra chewing gum that week, or maybe that co-worker you see every day, you feel like you need to take the chance to ask him/ or her out. In your head you’re telling yourself you must but only a “hello” leaves your mouth, you then trod over to your desk and computer surrounded my matchbox racers and a photo of your dog where you take a seat. Or maybe even it’s that person who sings at mass every Sunday and there voice is so unbelievable they sound like an angle.

For me it was last year I started work, went in and I was introduced to everyone, this one girl stood out to me, she was just perfect. We got along well. I really wanted to take this chance to ask her out but there was always the voice in the back of my head which was telling me “No, don’t do this” etc. etc. I don’t know, I’d generally consider myself to be an outgoing person. But for some reason this was never something I could take a chance in. So to make a long story short, I never took my chance, she left work for a better job and I said to myself “Augh, plenty more fish in the sea”. I’ve been on a few dates since, but I’ve not been attracted to another girl since. So this has me thinking ‘Is there really more fish in the sea’? I really don’t think there is at this point. I used to, but I would have been younger and more foolish then. Or this ling of ‘whatever will be, will be’ kind of attitude . It won’t be though, not if you don’t take that chance. Life is short, but it’s far too short to be beating around the bush. So this is one very important lesson I’ve learned in the past 10 months.

So AFTER HOURS did you ever miss out a chance, which you now look back on and think “I really should have took it” Or maybe you did and how did it work out???

I can relate to that, and so can *wink*...

Celine feckin Dion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKYKNZvQ6Jc

Celine Dion -Taking Chances

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But, what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay
What do you say
What do you say

I just want to start again
And maybe you could show me how to try
And maybe you could take me in
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay
What do you say
What do you say

And I had my heart beaten down
But I always come back for more, yeah
There's nothing like love to pull you up
When you're laying down on the floor there
So talk to me, talk to me
Like lovers do
Yeah walk with me, walk with me
Like lovers do
Like lovers do

What do you say to taking chances
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay
What do you say
What do you say

Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world.

Lyaiera · 06-09-2015 03:44PM

I decided to write. I don't know if anything will come of it, so far nothing has, but I've spent my days writing words for novels to publish. I've had almost one thousand downloads on my free promotion of my book, and I'm working on the follow up so I'll have to see how the long run works out.

Really, it's a big gamble for me but I have nothing to lose bar the effort I've put in coming up with nothing. I suffer from an illness that makes regular work difficult. I've tried, really hard to hold down that nine to six job, but it never worked out for me. So I decided to give writing a go. If it works out it'll mean I can write around when I feel capable, and I can have a career that works for me and supports me.

If you told me a year ago I'd be doing this I'd laugh at you. But now my book is out there for everyone else to laugh at (should they choose to.)

IrishLoriii · 07-09-2015 12:04AM

I was offered an assessment day for a 4 year course I really was interested in
but stupidly didnt go because my parents thought it was silly and that Id never
get anything out of it but they didnt understand enough about it and I didnt try
hard enough to make them understand..ill always wonder now if I should of
gone for it, reapply next year or just stick with the course im starting tomorrow
..time will tell

BunkMoreland · 07-09-2015 12:16AM

Did you contact her? I don't take chances on anything and am reduced to living vicariously through posts like this.

Birneybau · 07-09-2015 12:18AM

Valetta wrote: »

I've backed Galway to beat Kilkenny .

Does that count?

With the benefit of hindsight, I'd say yes.

job seeker · 07-09-2015 12:19AM

BunkMoreland wrote: »

Did you contact her? I don't take chances on anything and am reduced to living vicariously through posts like this.

Added her as a friend on facebook.. Gonna take baby steps...:P

DoYouEvenLift · 07-09-2015 06:45AM

Landrover Lenny wrote: »

The most liberating thing I ever did was walk over to two women sitting at a table in a nightclub, I sat down at their table and chatted away with them, that was about 11 years ago or so, before that I was afraid to talk to any women. I would hate to think what the last 11 years would have been like of I didn't learn that it is no big deal to walk over to talk to whoever you want.

Normal social interaction was the most liberating thing you ever did?...

Mister Vain · 07-09-2015 08:55AM

The workplace is tricky because you see them everyday so things can get awkward if it doesn't go the way you hoped. I dated a girl for a while that I met in work. Then we split up and soon afterwards she was seeing another guy in the same job and things got really awkward.

It's good to take chances sometimes and step outside your comfort zone, but at the same time you can drive yourself mad thinking "what if?" Go with the flow and don't worry about it too much.

ThinkProgress · 07-09-2015 09:12AM

job seeker wrote: »

For me it was last year I started work, went in and I was introduced to everyone, this one girl stood out to me, she was just perfect. We got along well. I really wanted to take this chance to ask her out but there was always the voice in the back of my head which was telling me “No, don’t do this” etc. etc. I don’t know, I’d generally consider myself to be an outgoing person. But for some reason this was never something I could take a chance in. So to make a long story short, I never took my chance, she left work for a better job and I said to myself “Augh, plenty more fish in the sea”.

That voice in your head was probably the voice of reason, trying to tell you that she was out of your league!

In my experience... if two people have a genuine attraction, it usually doesn't need to be forced by one or the other. I just happens!

I do laugh when I see people (usually men) working very hard to convince a woman to go out with them... they may very well succeed, but in the long run the relationship probably won't!

It's an old-fashioned idea that we should 'chase' someone and convince them why they should like us. It's a very bad foundation to build on.

@OP - I don't think you missed your chance. She might have been mildly attracted to you... but most likely not head-over-heels crazy about you!

Now on the other hand, if you're referring to just merely sleeping with her... well that's a different story. You could very well have missed that opportunity.

But you shouldn't mix those two things up. They're quite different goals really.

TrustedApple · 07-09-2015 09:27AM

I am one who beleaves in takeing chances and risks in life and getting out of your confout zone as it will make you a better person I think.

Last year in college I had to make the effort of making a new group of firends otherwise I be in my apartment looking out the window wishing I was going out so I said to myself get a small bit of drink into me and just head out by yourself and be social with people in the end I met quite a lot of new people and friends thanks to this.

Then also when it comes to applying for jobs see a job that in trashed me and I am like might as well reply the worst that can happen is for them to say no to me and just move on.

I think a major thing when taking chances on stuff you just have expact the worst and say f it and it could be the best thing you have ever done.

PARlance · 07-09-2015 09:44AM

job seeker wrote: »

Added her as a friend on facebook.. Gonna take baby steps...:P

Wait at least 12 months, don't rush into this.

See if she's online, type out simple message asking about her new job and if she fancies meeting up, hit send, scream... await reply.

You could have all this over and done with by tonight.

donegaLroad · 07-09-2015 09:55AM

job seeker wrote: »

Taking chances is something that scares some people. Maybe the fear of getting rejected or perhaps it’s just the fear of the unknown. But why? What is it that makes somebody think they aren't good enough to be in a relationship with that special someone? Like that lady or fella down at the local spar. Each day you go in and go to ask him or her out. But before you know it your walking out the door with that 7th packet of wriggles extra chewing gum that week, or maybe that co-worker you see every day, you feel like you need to take the chance to ask him/ or her out. In your head you’re telling yourself you must but only a “hello” leaves your mouth, you then trod over to your desk and computer surrounded my matchbox racers and a photo of your dog where you take a seat. Or maybe even it’s that person who sings at mass every Sunday and there voice is so unbelievable they sound like an angle.

For me it was last year I started work, went in and I was introduced to everyone, this one girl stood out to me, she was just perfect. We got along well. I really wanted to take this chance to ask her out but there was always the voice in the back of my head which was telling me “No, don’t do this” etc. etc. I don’t know, I’d generally consider myself to be an outgoing person. But for some reason this was never something I could take a chance in. So to make a long story short, I never took my chance, she left work for a better job and I said to myself “Augh, plenty more fish in the sea”. I’ve been on a few dates since, but I’ve not been attracted to another girl since. So this has me thinking ‘Is there really more fish in the sea’? I really don’t think there is at this point. I used to, but I would have been younger and more foolish then. Or this ling of ‘whatever will be, will be’ kind of attitude . It won’t be though, not if you don’t take that chance. Life is short, but it’s far too short to be beating around the bush. So this is one very important lesson I’ve learned in the past 10 months.

So AFTER HOURS did you ever miss out a chance, which you now look back on and think “I really should have took it” Or maybe you did and how did it work out???

a friend of mine was out in Dublin one night and was in the same bar as a bunch of girls on a night out. He saw one particular girl he liked and went over and started to chat her up. He asked her if she was in a relationship to which she replied, yes, but it wasn't going that well etc.

So he gave her his phone number and told her if she ever finished with that guy and wanted a night out, to give him a call.

A year later she rang him.

Naos · 07-09-2015 10:20AM

job seeker wrote: »

Added her as a friend on facebook.. Gonna take baby steps...:P

Don't wait around, baby steps will lead to friedzone. If you can deduce via facebook stalking that she's single, ask her out.

Imagine 30 years into the future, you've a 25 year old son with this lovely lady. He comes to you and is in the same situation you were in.

Would you give him the advice to:

a) wait around for a few years, slowly add her on facebook or whatever social media site is around etc... or
b) get off his hole and ask the lady out cause that's what you've done and look how that turned out.

The Corinthian · 07-09-2015 11:11AM

Yellowblackbird wrote: »

"Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when to forego an advantage." Benny.

This.

When I was 20, there was a girl, a woman, in one of my classes I had a dreadful crush on. If I wanted to pursue her I could have, and had a number of opportunities where I could have done so, but I repeatedly hesitated on the basis that the conditions were not 'right'.

She died. We never met. And so I undertook never to hesitate again, and to this end few opportunities went untried - sometimes with success, sometimes with embarrassing failure, rarely with regret.

However, I did learn that sometimes there's a reason for that hesitation, why fools rush in where angels fear to tread. There are occasions where success is worse than failure - where there's a good reason why you don't pursue someone and why instinctively you 'know' this.

So my advice is carpe diem, but don't ignore the little voice at the back of your head if it's telling you she's a bunny boiler.

PARlance · 07-09-2015 11:28AM

The Corinthian wrote: »

This.

When I was 20, there was a girl, a woman, in one of my classes I had a dreadful crush on. If I wanted to pursue her I could have, and had a number of opportunities where I could have done so, but I repeatedly hesitated on the basis that the conditions were not 'right'.

She died. We never met. And so I undertook never to hesitate again, and to this end few opportunities went untried - sometimes with success, sometimes with embarrassing failure, rarely with regret.

However, I did learn that sometimes there's a reason for that hesitation, why fools rush in where angels fear to tread. There are occasions where success is worse than failure - where there's a good reason why you don't pursue someone and why instinctively you 'know' this.

So my advice is carpe diem, but don't ignore the little voice at the back of your head if it's telling you she's a bunny boiler.

So you hesitated because instinctively you knew she was going to die???

The Corinthian · 07-09-2015 01:11PM

PARlance wrote: »

So you hesitated because instinctively you knew she was going to die???

No. Try to read what I actually wrote.

magicmushroom · 07-09-2015 01:29PM

job seeker wrote: »

Facebook, But I don't know f I should.

WHAT!! You said yourself in your first post:

job seeker wrote: »

Life is short, but it’s far too short to be beating around the bush. So this is one very important lesson I’ve learned in the past 10 months.

Get in touch with her for Gods sake man!! And then report back to us

EDIT: Sorry, I skipped a page to reply - hate when other people do that! But I just saw you added her on FB - keep us updated!

magicmushroom · 07-09-2015 01:34PM

donegaLroad wrote: »

a friend of mine was out in Dublin one night and was in the same bar as a bunch of girls on a night out. He saw one particular girl he liked and went over and started to chat her up. He asked her if she was in a relationship to which she replied, yes, but it wasn't going that well etc.

So he gave her his phone number and told her if she ever finished with that guy and wanted a night out, to give him a call.

A year later she rang him.

And what happened? Don't leave us hanging!

Tony EH · 07-09-2015 01:38PM

dodderangler wrote: »

Failed interview in army and never went back t try again.
Still regret it t this day

You could have hated it. There's no sense in regretting something you never had.

Whitewinged · 07-09-2015 01:45PM

black and amber wrote: »

What does an angle sound like?

You never play the triangle in school? It sounds like that

Whitewinged · 07-09-2015 01:47PM

It depends on whether the fear of rejection is stronger than the feeling of regret.

People often don't realise their fears and make excuses. Then they make excuses to cover the regret also.

Some people are motivated by fear and some shy away from it.

I suppose it's better to face the fear. Id rather do that then have regrets unless you end up regretting facing the fear ha then the cycle begins again!

PARlance · 07-09-2015 01:53PM

The Corinthian wrote: »

No. Try to read what I actually wrote.

I did.
You said "However, I did learn that sometimes there's a reason for that hesitation" and offered up nothing other than the fact that things "weren't right" and then she died.

The Corinthian · 07-09-2015 02:31PM

PARlance wrote: »

I did.
You said "However, I did learn that sometimes there's a reason for that hesitation" and offered up nothing other than the fact that things "weren't right" and then she died.

No, I told my original story where the girl died. Then I went on to say to "undertook never to hesitate again", after which "I did learn that sometimes there's a reason for that hesitation". See? Reverse order to what you're suggesting.

I even give the reason to hesitate in the last sentence, FFS. It's because sometimes you can detect that the person you're about to get into a relationship with is nuts! And from this you somehow inferred that I "hesitated because instinctively you knew she was going to die"? WTF!?

How much more clear could I have been? Would finger puppets help?

You didn't read what I wrote properly. Deal with it and stop trying to dig a deeper hole for yourself by having me spell why to you and everyone else here.

PARlance · 07-09-2015 03:35PM

The Corinthian wrote: »

No, I told my original story where the girl died. Then I went on to say to "undertook never to hesitate again", after which "I did learn that sometimes there's a reason for that hesitation". See? Reverse order to what you're suggesting.

I even give the reason to hesitate in the last sentence, FFS. It's because sometimes you can detect that the person you're about to get into a relationship with is nuts! And from this you somehow inferred that I "hesitated because instinctively you knew she was going to die"? WTF!?

How much more clear could I have been? Would finger puppets help?

You didn't read what I wrote properly. Deal with it and stop trying to dig a deeper hole for yourself by having me spell why to you and everyone else here.

Ah cool, at least everyone else has gotten to hear the story now.

The Corinthian · 07-09-2015 03:50PM

PARlance wrote: »

Ah cool, at least everyone else has gotten to hear the story now.

Everyone else was literate.

j8wk2feszrnpao · 07-09-2015 05:34PM

magicmushroom wrote: »

And what happened? Don't leave us hanging!

:P
Makes me think of this

A year later she rang him. ...............

donegaLroad · 07-09-2015 07:30PM

magicmushroom wrote: »

And what happened? Don't leave us hanging!

I left it in a very Eastenders way alright :P

They ended up going out for 3 years and got married.

Cold War Kid · 08-09-2015 12:24AM

whatawaster81 wrote: »

Yep wish I had emigrated 5/6 years ago, went back to college to another qualification, career still in the doldrums, going grey now, no significant other and long gone past going to the party, and will be gone before Christmas anyway if the right opportunity doesn't come along. Really hate the place.

You're not the only one to feel this way.

I don't know if you have cause to be so hard on yourself - your life seems like loads of people's. Taking up running seems like an ideal thing to do. And investigating what part-time courses you could do. It's hard work to do all these things, but either work hard or wallow. You know which will have the more positive outcome. 34 isn't that old either. I know people in their early 40s who went to Electric Picnic last weekend. Going grey is no biggie in the wider scheme of things. It's not necessarily a sign of ageing either. I've been getting greys since I was 17.

IrishLoriii wrote: »

I was offered an assessment day for a 4 year course I really was interested in
but stupidly didnt go because my parents thought it was silly and that Id never
get anything out of it but they didnt understand enough about it and I didnt try
hard enough to make them understand..ill always wonder now if I should of
gone for it, reapply next year or just stick with the course im starting tomorrow
..time will tell

If you're only out of school, reapply next year for god's sake.

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Normal social interaction was the most liberating thing you ever did?...

Going up and talking to two women in a nightclub is a difficult thing for a lot of guys to do. You have surely seen this expressed countless times.

ThinkProgress wrote: »

That voice in your head was probably the voice of reason, trying to tell you that she was out of your league!

In my experience... if two people have a genuine attraction, it usually doesn't need to be forced by one or the other. I just happens!

Doesn't always happen in my experience at all.

Taking chances....

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