Man walks into a bar..

A man and an elephant walk into a bar....

The bartender says: "What'll ya have?"

The guy says: "A wiskey for me and a beer for my friend donkey"

The bartender turns to the elephant and says "Why does he call you donkey

The Elephant replies: "Hee Haw.... Hee Haw.... Hee Haw....

......He always calls me that..."

Jesus goes into a bar, puts three nails on the counter...



"Can ya put me up for the night?"

A guy walks into a bar and asks the barman for a whiskey and coke.

"Take this apple."

"I don't want an apple. I want a JD and coke."

"Trust me, try the apple."

The man takes a bite, and exclaims "Christ! This tastes like Jack Daniels!"

"Yup. Turn it around."

"Wow!" He says after taking a bite from the other side of the apple, "This side tastes like coke!"

Before the man can ask the barman to explain the apple's mysteries, another patron walks in.

"Vodka and tonic please mate"

"Here's an apple."

"I don't want a ****in' apple mate, I want a..."

"Trust me, try the man's apple. They're incredible!" Interrupts the first customer.

He takes the apple and begrudgingly takes a large bite and starts spluttering; "Bloody hell this tastes like neat vodka!"

Both the barman and the first customer yell "Turn it around!" in unison. The man obliges and exclaims "Wow! This tastes like tonic water. These apples are fantastic!"

A third man saunter's up to the bar; "Pint of IPA please mate".

"Hold on!" Says the second customer. "This guy has an apple in any flavour you want, it's incredible!"

"Any flavour?" Asks the third man.

"Any flavour you want sir." Say the barman.

"In that case, gimme an apple that tastes like pussy!"

"Um.. alright" says the barman as he hands him an apple.

The man takes a bite and immediately spits everything onto the bar.

"Eww!!! This apple tastes like ****!!"

"TURN IT AROUND!!"