Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

MRnotlob606 · 01-09-2015 07:21PM

Collecting the child benefit in a pair of pyjamas.

Into The Blue · 01-09-2015 07:24PM

Saipanne wrote: »

People or businesses that use the word "boutique" or "bespoke".

****.

What happens if you produce bespoke products?

Puibo · 01-09-2015 07:28PM

People who use numbers in the place of words. Especially when its the name of a business.

Or people who use the letter Z instead of S, anything similar to this ideology just annoys the ****e out of me.

siblers · 01-09-2015 07:29PM

Someone who refers to them self in the third person.
Someone who thinks that when they go out with the girls/boys that they are the wildest, coolest, craziest bastards ever.

Robsweezie · 01-09-2015 07:32PM

Littlehorny wrote:

Any man who has been on the dole his whole adult life, whether your in your 20s or your 60s and you haven't held down some kind of job, this doesn't make you a lad or a rebel. Your just a bone idle useless wanker!!!

Do you apply this criteria to women too?

Medusa22 · 01-09-2015 07:35PM

I saw a guy at the airport yesterday with one of these WWII nazi haircuts, a tight purple t-shirt, skinny tracksuit pants and flip flops (at 9pm at night as well), of course he was flying to Ireland, the embarrassment. I took one look at him and thought to myself, w@nker.

eh2010 · 01-09-2015 07:37PM

Puibo wrote: »

People who use numbers in the place of words. Especially when its the name of a business.

Or people who use the letter Z instead of S, anything similar to this ideology just annoys the ****e out of me.

Do you mean American English spelling .i.e minimize instead of minimise?

eh2010 · 01-09-2015 07:38PM

siblers wrote: »

Someone who refers to them self in the third person.
Someone who thinks that when they go out with the girls/boys that they are the wildest, coolest, craziest bastards ever.

Yes .selfie types.:mad:
Honestly I think egotism is at epidemic levels the days, and its enabled by social media etc.

Paramite Pie · 01-09-2015 07:50PM

Birneybau wrote: »

Epic, Class, Unreal, Legend...

Dammit.... can I still say 'Ledge'..? :pac:

rafa05 wrote: »

Men who take selfies of themselves and post on Facebook etc.

Just the men??

01-09-2015 07:54PM

People who have interests that are not the same as mine

custard gannet · 01-09-2015 07:55PM

DanielODonnell wrote: »

When they have an English surname but that is just because I live in a segregated area.

This brings me to one- people with a surname blatantly of English, Norse or Norman French origin who gaelgoirize it to something ludicrous. You know, some lad called Paul Cameron or James Worthington who changes his Facebook name to read Pol Ui Cameruin or Seamus Ni Wuthaigh. Imagine in 30 years some kid born here to Polish parents called Tadeuz Smolenski going around on Facebook calling himself Tadgh Ni Smallaigh , it's not much different.

Gaelicising your surname is bad enough as generally speaking we have no idea how a great deal of surnames were pronounced in pre invasion Ireland, and Celtic Ireland didn't use anything resembling our modern alphabet, so even if you do have what some people regard as an anglicised version of an Irish surname, barring a few exceptions such as de Bruin for Brown, you have no idea that adding a few extra i's, u's and fadas on to it is even remotely true to how it was originally pronounced, especially given the even greater differences in language and accent between different parts of Ireland back then.

SSLguru · 01-09-2015 08:06PM

People who wear jackets to match their cars.

Knew a lad who used to constantly where a Mercedes jacket and flash the keys around at any opportunity.

It was a 2003 merc worth about 3 grand.

TheNobleKipper · 01-09-2015 08:09PM

Over-friendly people who think that you won't realise that they are full of sh1t because they go to such an effort to tell you how much they LOVE everything about you.

Vomit.

emo72 · 01-09-2015 08:14PM

i didnt know what a SJW was or even existed until i read this thread. now i hate them.

Wanderer78 · 01-09-2015 08:38PM

whats facebook?

robbiezero · 01-09-2015 08:49PM

siblers wrote: »

Someone who refers to them self in the third person.
Someone who thinks that when they go out with the girls/boys that they are the wildest, coolest, craziest bastards ever.

Even worse when its not "the girls", but its "the girlies" or "my girlies". Definite ****

Sh1tbag OToole · 01-09-2015 08:58PM

Puibo wrote: »

Cant claiim ive seen much of this carry on to be honest. How does it make you feel.

I dont think id bother wasting my time to scan!

I wouldn't bother scanning either but there's a little "in" logo in the middle of the QR that tells you it links there.

diomed · 01-09-2015 09:06PM

Interesting thread
I was reading about a soccer scout watching Russian player Pavel Pogrebnyak in training. Pavel hit a shot and as the old man employed to return the balls started off to get it Pavel said he would get it. The scout took that as a character positive. When Pogrebnyak was signed by Fulham he took his dishes back to the counter in the canteen when his meal was finished, unlike the other stars.

rodneyTrotter. · 01-09-2015 09:16PM

Blokes who drive them silly pick up cars with the little cabin thing on the back who insist on pushing you off the motorway and bully their way around our roads..
And yes you do have small willies

robbiezero · 01-09-2015 09:20PM

diomed wrote: »

Interesting thread
I was reading about a soccer scout watching Russian player Pavel Pogrebnyak in training. Pavel hit a shot and as the old man employed to return the balls started off to get it Pavel said he would get it. The scout took that as a character positive. When Pogrebnyak was signed by Fulham he took his dishes back to the counter in the canteen when his meal was finished, unlike the other stars.

You need the "Warning signs that somone is sound" thread.

wakka12 · 01-09-2015 09:24PM

Kev W wrote: »

Or, you know, they might be just generally happy people.

Nobodies always happy

Severard · 01-09-2015 09:28PM

Anyone who takes Selfies. What absolute ****ing unbearable, intolerable, insufferable, incompetent, backward, oblivious, ****-wits who are stuck in their ****ing over-priced - piece of **** - "Smartphone" the vast majority of each day and somehow managed to have the contents of what is in their heads and their back-sides reversed.

Jerichoholic · 01-09-2015 09:29PM

Severard wrote: »

Anyone who takes Selfies. What absolute ****ing unbearable, intolerable, insufferable, incompetent, backward, oblivious, ****-wits who are stuck in their ****ing over-priced - piece of **** - "Smartphone" the vast majority of each day and somehow managed to have the contents of what is in their heads and their back-sides reversed.

This all the way.

IvaBigWun · 01-09-2015 09:29PM

SSLguru wrote: »

People who wear jackets to match their cars.

Knew a lad who used to constantly where a Mercedes jacket and flash the keys around at any opportunity.

It was a 2003 merc worth about 3 grand.

We have a winner!

cazzer22 · 01-09-2015 09:39PM

Littlehorny wrote: »

Was in B+Q yesterday and a fella who was a little bit well built was walking around with his two arms so far out from his sides it looked like he was carrying two invisible buckets, took one look at him and thought........wanker

Speaking of B & Q. I was in there the other day in the queue when a man, his wife and son walked past me and my boyfriend in the queue. They stopped, stood there and were waiting along the side to our left. I looked at them and thought that's weird, but said nothing. We were at the front of the queue with a good few people behind us (blatantly obvious it was the queue).The next person is called and your man cuts across us, skips the entire queue and goes up to pay. I actually walked towards him and said 'excuse me, but we were first'. He blatantly ignores me and goes ahead and pays. The girl behind the till even looked a bit taken aback but just let him away with it. What an absolute wench, wait like EVERYONE else.

01-09-2015 09:39PM

Guys with their tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks.

Ramza · 01-09-2015 09:42PM

Reading this thread and relating so much to every single one of these replies is making me feel happy in knowing that other people out there are as hateful as me and I'm not the only one who realises what ****ing tossers 90% of people these days are. Of course, we're the good 10% lads! :cool:

On the other hand, reading some of these replies is forcing me to picture each of the tossers being described, and thus is leading me to feel very angry.

Double edged sword :pac:

evolving_doors · 01-09-2015 09:42PM

diomed wrote: »

Interesting thread
I was reading about a soccer scout watching Russian player Pavel Pogrebnyak in training. Pavel hit a shot and as the old man employed to return the balls started off to get it Pavel said he would get it. The scout took that as a character positive. When Pogrebnyak was signed by Fulham he took his dishes back to the counter in the canteen when his meal was finished, unlike the other stars.

Ya, Humble Toss-pots; the worst.

Ramza · 01-09-2015 09:45PM

emo72 wrote: »

i didnt know what a SJW was or even existed until i read this thread. now i hate them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrInAction

You're welcome :pac:

well spoken man · 01-09-2015 10:07PM

People who go on about having a "cheeky" Nandos...
Piss off...

Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

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