Haven't touched a drop in...

Faith+1 · 06-07-2015 09:47PM

The hardest thing I find about not drinking is the lack of females in my life. Because I don't drink I don't frequent pubs or nightclubs as I don't really see the attraction of paying 4 quid for a mineral. And let's face it most hook ups in this country is within a drink setting.

I have tried to talk to girls outside of this environment and they look at you as if you're a headcase! Yet when I'm abroad I've never had an issue? Friends have often said that I'd have to got to Pubs/Clubs if I want to meet a girl but whats the point because obviously if she's there she likes this scene so in the long run I know it just wouldn't work out.

And to be honest the drinking culture in this Country is a joke, Practically everything revolves around it Birthdays, Funerals, Christenings, After work drinks, communions, confirmations etc... I've even been asked if I have Irish blood because I don't drink. FFS!

I'm not trying to come across as superior or judgmental but at times when I'm walking around the city and see open drinking, P*ssed teens and adults causing trouble/roaring abuse, violent acts...etc I'm just embarrassed to be Irish and often wonder what tourists must think when they see this. I've never seen the city this bad tbh.

It's not easy being a non drinker in this Country at times.

mickydoomsux · 07-07-2015 04:16PM

Faith+1 wrote: »

The hardest thing I find about not drinking is the lack of females in my life. Because I don't drink I don't frequent pubs or nightclubs as I don't really see the attraction of paying 4 quid for a mineral. And let's face it most hook ups in this country is within a drink setting.

I have tried to talk to girls outside of this environment and they look at you as if you're a headcase! Yet when I'm abroad I've never had an issue? Friends have often said that I'd have to got to Pubs/Clubs if I want to meet a girl but whats the point because obviously if she's there she likes this scene so in the long run I know it just wouldn't work out.

And to be honest the drinking culture in this Country is a joke, Practically everything revolves around it Birthdays, Funerals, Christenings, After work drinks, communions, confirmations etc... I've even been asked if I have Irish blood because I don't drink. FFS!

I'm not trying to come across as superior or judgmental but at times when I'm walking around the city and see open drinking, P*ssed teens and adults causing trouble/roaring abuse, violent acts...etc I'm just embarrassed to be Irish and often wonder what tourists must think when they see this. I've never seen the city this bad tbh.

It's not easy being a non drinker in this Country at times.

Have to say i agree with your sentiment 100%.

This survey into drinking during pregnancy shows how messed up the Irish attitude to alcohol is.

hubba · 08-07-2015 11:26AM

Faith+1 wrote: »

The hardest thing I find about not drinking is the lack of females in my life. Because I don't drink I don't frequent pubs or nightclubs as I don't really see the attraction of paying 4 quid for a mineral. And let's face it most hook ups in this country is within a drink setting.

I have tried to talk to girls outside of this environment and they look at you as if you're a headcase! Yet when I'm abroad I've never had an issue? Friends have often said that I'd have to got to Pubs/Clubs if I want to meet a girl but whats the point because obviously if she's there she likes this scene so in the long run I know it just wouldn't work out.

And to be honest the drinking culture in this Country is a joke, Practically everything revolves around it Birthdays, Funerals, Christenings, After work drinks, communions, confirmations etc... I've even been asked if I have Irish blood because I don't drink. FFS!

I'm not trying to come across as superior or judgmental but at times when I'm walking around the city and see open drinking, P*ssed teens and adults causing trouble/roaring abuse, violent acts...etc I'm just embarrassed to be Irish and often wonder what tourists must think when they see this. I've never seen the city this bad tbh.

It's not easy being a non drinker in this Country at times.

It's going to take many generations to change this type of attitude but we have to start somewhere. I'm single but I'd rather stay single than hang out in bars to be picked up by some sloppy drunk who lacks the ****s to ask anyone out sober.

Abcxyz12345 · 14-07-2015 11:09PM

Nearly nine months (this Friday hopefully!) I can not believe it sometimes - how different things are today compared to back then when I was so sad, sick & broken. I'm so grateful that today I'm not drinking & that I have a far more manageable & enjoyable life. I'm laughing more & am working hard to keep my life simple & steady. It hasn't been easy but it's been soooo with it. I never want to go back to that heart broken, sick & self destructive person again... And I don't think I have to either!

Sunnyisland · 15-07-2015 01:50PM

Someone asked me my secret to sobriety, well, I don’t have the “secret”, what I have is what worked for me. Being sober is easy, just don’t drink! There, all done, no big secret…. But how do I not drink? First, you need to figure out why you drink… a brain chemical mix up? Can’t face problems on your own? Need to feel like you’re the center of attention? Anger? Insert your own excuse here…

There is a big difference between sobriety and recovery! if I can kinda explain what being a “dry drunk” is! You push yourself through those first few months staying away from the drink, you’re doing it! You feel great! One month, two, one year, two… But then reality kicks in like a punch to the stomach! All those problems that I had when I was drinking are still there! Quitting drinking didn’t solve anything, except now I’m miserable. How do I face all these problems without my buddy ALcohol

First, ALcohol is not your buddy! He only helped you push away and forget those problems, we can deal with them tomorrow, except tomorrow never comes when your buddy is right beside you day after day. Now that you no longer have buddy to lean on, what’s next? Well, you didn’t solve your problems overnight when you were drinking, so there’s no hurry to do it now! Take each and every problem the same as you did with quitting, one day at a time! Make a list and prioritize it, deal with one problem at a time! Then take an inventory of yourself, what do I need to make my life worth living sober? You may find yourself with some life altering decisions, but they’ll have to be made or you will not recover!

Every problem has a solution, but is it the right solution for me? If you were honest with yourself and thought it through, it is probably the only solution, are you ready to accept it?
And there you have it, the secret to sobriety! Quit drinking, face your problems with honesty and integrity, deal with the issues of life without self-pity! And most importantly, deal with problems as they arise, don’t put them on the back burner to stew, to tear you apart, to make you think you need your buddy to face them. Face them on your own, do what is best for you! If those you love understand, they will love you back. If they don’t, then did they really deserve your love in the first place ?

Well done to everyone making there progress, it's great to read and gives me more ammo in the long fight. Six and a half years sober and loving every day of it :-)

marienbad · 15-07-2015 05:55PM

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

Nearly nine months (this Friday hopefully!) I can not believe it sometimes - how different things are today compared to back then when I was so sad, sick & broken. I'm so grateful that today I'm not drinking & that I have a far more manageable & enjoyable life. I'm laughing more & am working hard to keep my life simple & steady. It hasn't been easy but it's been soooo with it. I never want to go back to that heart broken, sick & self destructive person again... And I don't think I have to either!

Outstanding Abc, what an incredible journey .It has been inspiring following you on your road to recovery .

20-07-2015 08:01PM

Faith+1 wrote: »

The hardest thing I find about not drinking is the lack of females in my life....

I have tried to talk to girls outside of this environment and they look at you as if you're a headcase!

I've met, and started walking out with, women in places as diverse as conversation Irish classes, music classes (in McCullough Piggot's), Toastmasters (public speaking), receptions after academic talks and numerous MeetUp groups (always revolving around my interests). There are plenty of alternatives and the better sort of woman would be impressed that a fella has a bit of independent thought about him. There are so many really interesting, funny, smart and roguish, beguiling cáiliní out there who'd talk for Ireland! A brilliant time, without any need at all for the drink. Go for walks together. Walk the Wicklow Way, the canals, across parks, out to Sandymount strand. There are a gazillion alternative places.

Get some interests. Get some project - e.g. learn an instrument/language - and you'll meet somebody on the same wavelength. Having a project is an absolutely fantastic framework for self-discovery, self-renewal and self-growth. Reinvent yourself and enjoy the journey towards freedom. I found giving up drink was like the end of a bad romance. I got into different music, I took up new hobbies and I continue to try and recreate myself after the damage from my old relationship. It's as if I am reasserting my self-worth now.

hubba · 21-07-2015 01:52PM

[QUOTE=There are so many really interesting, funny, smart and roguish, beguiling cáiliní out there who'd talk for Ireland![/QUOTE]

Love it, and it just so happens to be true!

JupiterKid · 27-07-2015 10:32PM

xzanti wrote: »

I'm going to give Lifering a go.

Anyone have experiences to share, or advice about the meetings?

Thanks

Lifering meetings are great. It's an alternative, or it can be an add on, to AA meetings. It's a relaxed, informal atmosphere where everybody gets to share. It's about empowering each person's sober side.

Sunnyisland · 18-08-2015 04:54PM

Thought I would post this here as it very quite around here, it's great to see us all cured ha ha ha

This decision, when you first make it, is not going to affect anyone else. It will only affect you because you will know that you are serious. Think about how many times the typical alcoholic or drug addict has “cried wolf,” telling themselves and others that they are really going to quit this time.

But when you make this decision internally, to yourself….when you make this special agreement with yourself, you will know a new peace about yourself.

This can only happen at the moment of true surrender. When you finally decide that you are sick and tired of fighting against the :disease:

I may have gotten sober without rehab I may have gotten sober without AA -- but I didn't -- I got sober with them --- and Aftercare --- I threw everything at my quit --- I took no chances -- and I still don't --- nothing is more important than my quit.

So keep fighting the fight folks :-)

GerB40 · 18-08-2015 06:28PM

Good man realies, this thread has been very quiet and I hope that that's a good thing. I'd like to share a little tale. I'll call it "There and Back Again, my story". (Fùck plagiarism, Tolkien's crowd can get onto me if they want)..

This time last year I was three months sober. That in itself was massive but it didn't feel it. I was going through what I found out was called Post Accuse Withdrawl Syndrome. I was a wreck. A sober one but still I was a husk of a human. How people can actually operate through the adorable sounding P.A.W.S. is beyond me but I soldiered on. Drink had taken half my life up to that point, I wanted to take my life back...

Fast forward to now and I'm meeting a girl that I'm growing fond of. I had my first sober date ever and I wasn't the shivering wreck I thought I'd be, I genuinely enjoyed it. This Saturday I'll be holding my goddaughter in my hands at her christening, something I would've flat out refused this time last year. I'll be prouder than her parents

Last Friday I got a call to say I got accepted to a course that has drug/alcohol dependency counselling in it, which I would like of course, but I'm going to go for psychology. In for a penny, in for a pound... Long story short, I'm 15 months sober and I genuinely haven't been in a better place in my life. Occasionally I get the old desire back, (after Galway beat Tipp I could've relapsed there and then) but everything is good. Great actually..

I write this, not to gloat, but to show that someone who was as in such a state as I was can get better. I'm not 'fixed' nor do I think I ever will be but I'm living the best life I could imagine and so can you. I don't have any advice other than, as realies said, "keep fighting the good fight". Best of luck folks....

Panic E · 18-08-2015 10:54PM

One of you guys here. As per the thread title, undoubtedly? Probably.

I dunno. I Drank today anyway! Not much, it doesn't feel like such, so…

A very unhealthy behavior I know this. And I respect all people @ that.

Kunkka · 19-08-2015 11:29AM

realies wrote: »

Thought I would post this here as it very quite around here, it's great to see us all cured ha ha ha

This decision, when you first make it, is not going to affect anyone else. It will only affect you because you will know that you are serious. Think about how many times the typical alcoholic or drug addict has “cried wolf,” telling themselves and others that they are really going to quit this time.

But when you make this decision internally, to yourself….when you make this special agreement with yourself, you will know a new peace about yourself.

This can only happen at the moment of true surrender. When you finally decide that you are sick and tired of fighting against the :disease:

I may have gotten sober without rehab I may have gotten sober without AA -- but I didn't -- I got sober with them --- and Aftercare --- I threw everything at my quit --- I took no chances -- and I still don't --- nothing is more important than my quit.

So keep fighting the fight folks :-)

All good here. Looking forward to a holiday next month with my fiancee(I didn't even have a girlfriend when I got sober). I had hardly anything left & what I did have I was losing fast including my sanity.

The biggest thing I've learned to accept is life on life's terms. I am not in control of everything and I don't need to worry like I always did about my small insignificant world. Just live life and enjoy it for what you have then things fall in to place. They have for me anyway and I've been given everything that I always aspired to getting when I was on a bar stool, from doing what is suggested from people before me & hard bloody work. It has been my greatest achievement and always will be.

GerB40 wrote: »

Good man realies, this thread has been very quiet and I hope that that's a good thing. I'd like to share a little tale. I'll call it "There and Back Again, my story". (Fùck plagiarism, Tolkien's crowd can get onto me if they want)..

This time last year I was three months sober. That in itself was massive but it didn't feel it. I was going through what I found out was called Post Accuse Withdrawl Syndrome. I was a wreck. A sober one but still I was a husk of a human. How people can actually operate through the adorable sounding P.A.W.S. is beyond me but I soldiered on. Drink had taken half my life up to that point, I wanted to take my life back...

Fast forward to now and I'm meeting a girl that I'm growing fond of. I had my first sober date ever and I wasn't the shivering wreck I thought I'd be, I genuinely enjoyed it. This Saturday I'll be holding my goddaughter in my hands at her christening, something I would've flat out refused this time last year. I'll be prouder than her parents Last Friday I got a call to say I got accepted to a course that has drug/alcohol dependency counselling in it, which I would like of course, but I'm going to go for psychology. In for a penny, in for a pound... Long story short, I'm 15 months sober and I genuinely haven't been in a better place in my life. Occasionally I get the old desire back, (after Galway beat Tipp I could've relapsed there and then) but everything is good. Great actually..

I write this, not to gloat, but to show that someone who was as in such a state as I was can get better. I'm not 'fixed' nor do I think I ever will be but I'm living the best life I could imagine and so can you. I don't have any advice other than, as realies said, "keep fighting the good fight". Best of luck folks....

Good to hear from you Ger & well done on the date + course. The first one sober can be awkward, it was for me anyway ha

. There is just so more to life than drinking and we always strive for progress getting sober which keeps us busy!

O & Winter is coming!

souls · 26-08-2015 10:48AM

Well after nearly a year of trying my hardest yet still falling, i think things have reached a point where some serious decisions need to be made. My latest attempt tied in with running a 30 day course of anti anxiety meds, which i completed. I felt a bit down trodden as i didn't "feel cured" from this. it wasn't long after until i was drinking again. My drinking is only getting more dangerous now, and after nearly crashing the car countless times,fractured bones from fighting its only a matter of time til i end up seriously hurt or dead and or the same to somebody else. I am going to see my gP again and discuss rehab. has anybody here first hand experience of this and or advice regarding this route? I hope everyone is well Regards to all.

souls · 26-08-2015 10:52AM

Appointment made.Not hanging about.

marienbad · 26-08-2015 01:42PM

souls wrote: »

Appointment made.Not hanging about.

Just ask your self 'do I want to live ' , of course you do . So get into rehab ( I just wish it was there in my day)

Commit everything you have to it ,everything , no short cuts , no pick and choose , do as you are asked no matter how foolish it seems and you will be staggered at the changes and improvements in your life and in the lives of those around you.

Best of luck and keep in touch . We are here for you in whatever small way we can be .

GerB40 · 26-08-2015 02:13PM

souls wrote: »

Appointment made.Not hanging about.

Like marienbad said, we're all here for you. Personally I've found more comfort from this thread than from any meeting I've been to so remember that there will always be people here to help you get past this...

Abcxyz12345 · 26-08-2015 07:08PM

souls wrote: »

Appointment made.Not hanging about.

Go for it souls and, as someone else said here, throw everything you can at your recovery. You deserve it - we all do! Do the things that are suggested to you even if you cannot see the logic behind them. I heard a good one recently re 'suggestions' for recovery - it's kinda like when your sky diving instructor 'suggests' that you pull the parachute cord at a certain point... It's not really a 'suggestion' - you just do it! Sincere good wishes souls. Keep in touch x

doublegreen · 27-08-2015 06:34AM

Day 19 for me after years of abusing alcohol.
Finding exercise is my greatest help so far.

hubba · 27-08-2015 01:33PM

souls wrote: »

Well after nearly a year of trying my hardest yet still falling, i think things have reached a point where some serious decisions need to be made. My latest attempt tied in with running a 30 day course of anti anxiety meds, which i completed. I felt a bit down trodden as i didn't "feel cured" from this. it wasn't long after until i was drinking again. My drinking is only getting more dangerous now, and after nearly crashing the car countless times,fractured bones from fighting its only a matter of time til i end up seriously hurt or dead and or the same to somebody else. I am going to see my gP again and discuss rehab. has anybody here first hand experience of this and or advice regarding this route? I hope everyone is well Regards to all.

Fair dues to you SOULS for not giving up the fight. Keep at it, as long as it takes and I really wish you find the motivation to quit for good. Keep us posted, we do care.

Sunnyisland · 28-08-2015 07:37AM

souls wrote: »

Well after nearly a year of trying my hardest yet still falling, i think things have reached a point where some serious decisions need to be made. My latest attempt tied in with running a 30 day course of anti anxiety meds, which i completed. I felt a bit down trodden as i didn't "feel cured" from this. it wasn't long after until i was drinking again. My drinking is only getting more dangerous now, and after nearly crashing the car countless times,fractured bones from fighting its only a matter of time til i end up seriously hurt or dead and or the same to somebody else. I am going to see my gP again and discuss rehab. has anybody here first hand experience of this and or advice regarding this route? I hope everyone is well Regards to all.

Well done souls for keeping at the fight,before I ever took the best decision I personally ever made,I had countless fails,countless.i failed for every reason there is in the book of excuses.
If I may say go to your gp not to discuss but to tell them what you are going to do,that is getting into rehab for a period of time,no more discussion souls you know what you want and have to do,keep us here informed souls as we are all behind you and can relate to everything you are going through.

souls · 28-08-2015 12:39PM

Thank you so much everybody for all your kind words of support. Im not long back from a visit to the doctor. I went with my mother. Heart wrenching would be an understatement. The damage my drinking has done not only to me but my parents,family and friends is truly devastating. I didn't cry there,but i sure am now and i don't even care. were looking into what my health insurance covers now, plenty of options available. Today has truly being the most honest day of my life. I want my daughter to have the dad she deserves and i want to have a life for myself. Today is the first step.

GerB40 · 28-08-2015 12:44PM

souls wrote: »

Thank you so much everybody for all your kind words of support. Im not long back from a visit to the doctor. I went with my mother. Heart wrenching would be an understatement. The damage my drinking has done not only to me but my parents,family and friends is truly devastating. I didn't cry there,but i sure am now and i don't even care. were looking into what my health insurance covers now, plenty of options available. Today has truly being the most honest day of my life. I want my daughter to have the dad she deserves and i want to have a life for myself. Today is the first step.

Congratulations souls, you've taken a massive step today. You'll look back on this day with pride in your heart and you'll regret nothing. Best of luck souls. It won't be easy but in a year from today you'll see how much it was worth it...

Sunnyisland · 28-08-2015 02:08PM

souls wrote: »

Thank you so much everybody for all your kind words of support. Im not long back from a visit to the doctor. I went with my mother. Heart wrenching would be an understatement. The damage my drinking has done not only to me but my parents,family and friends is truly devastating. I didn't cry there,but i sure am now and i don't even care. were looking into what my health insurance covers now, plenty of options available. Today has truly being the most honest day of my life. I want my daughter to have the dad she deserves and i want to have a life for myself. Today is the first step. [/QUOTE

Souls
Try to do the one day at a time and when you do think of the future concentrate on the amazing opportunities that being sober brings. Don't see it as a life sentence - but see it as a new way of life. We all make big changes throughout life and in time it becomes our normal. In time also you will be confident about this and it won't be a handicap. Its crap to deal with at the moment - but that will pass.
i am In my fifties and I only wish I had not started drinking heavily in my twenties. It just gets worse and worse and the amounts I drank increased as my tolerance to ALcohol grew as my income grew and as life brought more stress. hopefully this is your rock bottom souls.
You can do this, keep posting :-)

doublegreen · 08-09-2015 06:52AM

Last Drink 8th August , so guess thats a month today.
Find reading this thread fullly through was/is very inspirational.

Blong!hahaha · 08-09-2015 07:05AM

A month for me now. I was getting so tired of feeling sluggish and unhealthy, and also pi$$ing through cash. But I've decided not to let this stop me going out with my friends. I'll gladly have a coffee or a 7up, even water. I love waking up feeling good on a Saturday morning, ready for a run, cycle or hike up Killiney Hill!

I'm 32 now and I've decided that I want to be as healthy as Tom Cruise is when I get to 52! Better start now!

souls · 08-09-2015 10:10AM

Hello friends, just to follow up from last post. after meeting with my gp, she put me in touch with a an addictions councilor in my area, since then we went through a few options re: rehab and found one particular live in 6 week program which seems to be the most suitable for me. the terms and conditions before i even meet these folk for an interview is that I'm sober for at least 48 hrs! and if i d o get in, i have to be 7 days sober before admission. following the chat with the councilor i went back to my gp, and she said that i wouldn't be able to detox on my own so she admitted me to hospital from friday to monday morning (as in yesterday) i was put on a course of librium as well as a drip of yellow stuff (i presume was vitamins amongst other things) it was ****ing horrendous,hate hospitals I'm not gonna lie, but as i said i suffer from anxiety so again this may have added to the shock of the withdrawal. anyway after threatening to walk out twice i saw it through and got home yesterday, i was so stir crazy from not being able to do my running that, that was the first thing i did when i got home, needless to say my body is battered!haha anyway i have smaller doses of librium left to take before my appointment for the rehab clinic of wednesday, and then see what happens from there! I've done everything I've been asked to do so far! so all i have to do now is stay dry and see them on wednesday! wish me luck!

hubba · 08-09-2015 11:03AM

Well done, Souls, you are showing enormous commitment and perseverance. I am rooting for you every day. And know that you are worth this, you deserve a happy and healthy life and it will come.

GerB40 · 08-09-2015 12:27PM

Souls that's fúckin marvellous news... Regaining control of your life is priceless and it sounds like you're well on your way there. Keep up the good work.

Sunnyisland · 08-09-2015 10:55PM

Well done souls :-)

Haven't touched a drop in...

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