Haven't touched a drop in...

xzanti · 04-05-2015 3:45pm

Thanks guys.

JupiterKid · 04-05-2015 4:01pm

I've been struggling with alcoholism for a number of years now - in and out of treatment centres and going to AA meetings and I still could not stop drinking. I moved into a new place a couple of weeks ago and my drinking became very bad even by my standards. I realised that I simply could not go on like this and now I'm six days sober and feeling much better.

I hope I can maintain this sobriety as the urge to drink is still very strong.

marienbad · 04-05-2015 5:13pm

JupiterKid wrote: »

I've been struggling with alcoholism for a number of years now - in and out of treatment centres and going to AA meetings and I still could not stop drinking. I moved into a new place a couple of weeks ago and my drinking became very bad even by my standards. I realised that I simply could not go on like this and now I'm six days sober and feeling much better.

I hope I can maintain this sobriety as the urge to drink is still very strong.

All I can say is meetings meetings meetings , that is what I did in my early days . Sometimes 3 or 4 a day . If nothing else it helps pass the time ,diverts me from thinking about myself , in with a crowd that is completely accepting and non- judgemental and has seen it all and done it all .

May not work for everybody but worked for me . Best of luck to you

xzanti · 04-05-2015 5:43pm

I'm going to give Lifering a go.

Anyone have experiences to share, or advice about the meetings?

Thanks

HcksawJimDuggan · 04-05-2015 9:21pm

Day 6, 1 weekend & most important 1 bank holiday weekend.

GerB40 · 04-05-2015 9:51pm

HcksawJimDuggan wrote: »

Day 6, 1 weekend & most important 1 bank holiday weekend.

I know AA keep saying "one day at a time" and "the most important day is today" but the feeling of getting through a bank holiday weekend sober is like conquering everest.. And 6 days in? All I can say is fair play. When you wake up in the morning try to imagine your worst hangover ever. The sun will shine on you all day. Metaphorically obviously..

HcksawJimDuggan · 04-05-2015 10:47pm

GerB40 wrote: »

I know AA keep saying "one day at a time" and "the most important day is today" but the feeling of getting through a bank holiday weekend sober is like conquering everest.. And 6 days in? All I can say is fair play. When you wake up in the morning try to imagine your worst hangover ever. The sun will shine on you all day. Metaphorically obviously..

Thanks for the kind words

This is my 3rd serious attempt at giving it up for good & am feeling pretty determined. Still deciding what the best method for keeping me off it is but doing plenty of research. Had a consultation with a treatment centre last Thursday but having discussed it with friends & family decided against checking in for 28 day programme for various reasons. Started reading Alan carrs book so at least that's a start.

GerB40 · 04-05-2015 10:58pm

HcksawJimDuggan wrote: »

Thanks for the kind words

This is my 3rd serious attempt at giving it up for good & am feeling pretty determined. Still deciding what the best method for keeping me off it is but doing plenty of research. Had a consultation with a treatment centre last Thursday but having discussed it with friends & family decided against checking in for 28 day programme for various reasons. Started reading Alan carrs book so at least that's a start.

Whatever works, works. I became a hermit for a year and didn't go to a meeting until a week before my one year anniversary. Probably not the best way to go about it but so far it's worked for me. The thing is, now I have to learn how to deal with being sober again but I'm determined and eager to learn. Hopefully the AA meetings will help with that. Best of luck with your journey and always remember this thread. It saved my life...

Kermit.de.frog · 06-05-2015 5:31pm

Ah no, I started a thread and did not see this one

Off the booze from today. I'm feeling happy and pumped up, ready to go atm but I get the feeling this won't last.

souls · 06-05-2015 6:30pm

Hey Xzanti Hope you're ok? every journey starts with a single step and you've taken that step so stay positive

tinpib · 06-05-2015 7:42pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Ah no, I started a thread and did not see this one

Off the booze from today. I'm feeling happy and pumped up, ready to go atm but I get the feeling this won't last.

I think most people here know how you feel. So feel free to post more if you think it will help. You will get a lot of good advice in this thread. The same things work for many people, but not all.

One of the most important, and probably the hardest for me, is filling your time with something else apart from drinking.

If you can do that it will be a great help.

Use it as a positive thing to take up a hobby that you have been putting off. Trying something new, a cookery class, golf, DJ-ing, sky diving. The world is your oyster.

If not having enough money to do these things before was a reason not to do them then by not drinking you will go along way to solving that.

Best of luck!

09-05-2015 12:01pm

Still off the drink: 16 months and 8 days now. The further I'm away from it, the less I think about it - which answers my biggest question before I gave up alcohol. Time does heal. Summer is always still the toughest time simply because it's good weather, I had idealised drinking outside in such weather and there are much more social events on like weddings.

So, with not much money but to get away from it I've just booked a flight to walk the Camino del Norte (the isolated one, along the coast). I'll only have two weeks, but it will take me 3.5 weeks to finish all 825km (I walked as far as Santander last year). I'd stay in Ireland and go walking but for the undependable weather.

I find these long walking trips really helpful and life-enriching, whether it's walking along lonely caminos beside the ocean, passing through seemingly timeless hilltop stone villages, escaping from the sun to walk under the cool shade of a forest, crossing rivers, passing medieval crosses, churches, mills and monasteries, and full of memorable moments such as being awoken along with everybody else at 6:30am by a monk's Gregorian Chant echoing throughout this 12th-century stone building, or waking up outside with a canopy over you because you walked 45km the previous day and by the time you arrived at the albergue there was no room so they put you sleeping outside. The sense of achievement, of mental and physical vitality, this former beer-guzzling, couch potato can give to himself every day is restorative. Being surrounded by so much history, tradition and journeys of pain and renewal throughout the centuries in every footstep taken gives huge perspective on life, and gratitude for life.

Sunnyisland · 10-05-2015 5:59pm

Thought I would post this here :-)

4 Stages of recovery

If you have decided that you need to get help for your drinking , you have already entered the first stage of recovery by admitting that you have a problem and seeking outside help.
This process -- reaching out for help and seeking some kind treatment or rehabilitation -- is known as treatment initiation. It is the first of four stages of recovery

If you are like most people who seek help for substance abuse problems, in the very early stages you probably still harbor some feelings of ambivalence about giving up your drug of choice, and you may still be in denial about the full extent of your problem. This is common for people in the early days. Denial simply means refusing to believe the reality of your circumstances. Many people new to recovery usually have some level of denial about their addiction. Denial can take many forms, from thinking that you can still control your substance use to denying that you are really addicted.

It's likely that during your substance abusing days you associated your drinking with certain people, places and things. Perhaps you always stopped by the same bar or you only drank when around certain people. You may even have had a favorite glass you drank from . All of these can be triggers that can cause you to relapse.
It is absolutely critical to your continued abstinence that you avoid the triggers and other high-risk situations. You need to helpyourself identify the people, places and things that you associate with your drinking and help you develop strategies for avoiding these triggers, Many alcoholics organize their entire daily routine around obtaining, drinking and recovering from the effects of their drink.
Once you quit drinking, there will be a void in your daily scheduled and/or a sense of loss. You may be used to a daily schedule that is chaotic and disorganized,. You may find it difficult imagining what you will do now that you are no longer drinking.

Not everyone experiences cravings during early abstinence, but for those who do, it can become overwhelming. Craving is a strong urge to return to drinking . Craving can be both physical and psychological to the point that you can become obsessed with thinking about drinking again.
you must recognize what craving feels like and learn that it is temporary and will pass. you must learn that you have choices; you can choose to "sit the craving out." You do not have to respond to the urge in a self-damaging way.
The longer you remain abstinent, the fewer cravings you will have and the less intense they will become. But if you give in to the urge, they will remain strong.

If you have been clean and sober for 90 days, you now need to put the tools that you learned in early abstinence to work toward maintaining your sobriety and avoiding relapse. maintaining your recovery is basically up to you. In order to maintain abstinence, it is important that you:

Avoid environmental triggers.
Recognize your own psychosocial and emotional triggers.
Develop healthy behaviors to handle life's stresses.

People get in trouble when they let their guard down after their early-absitence success. It is important that you not take your sobriety for granted and that your recognize the power of your addiction. Maintaining a recovery-oriented attitude is critical.
It is also important your participation in support groups and that you remain honest with yourself and others about your feelings and thoughts. Changes in attitudes, feelings and behaviors can quickly lead you to a relapse.
A relapse does not begin when you pick up a drink . It's a gradual process marked by negative changes in your attitude, feelings and behaviors. If you find yourself in the downward relapse spiral, do something different! Go to more support group meetings, spend time with others who support your recovery, maintain a heatlhy structure in your life, make sure you are in a drink-free environment and avoid external triggers. Take positive action to resolve any relationship, personal or work-related problems that are causing you stress.

The fourth stage is reaching advanced recovery in which you have achieved long-lasting abstinence and have made a commitment to continue to lead a lifelong sober lifestyle. Advanced recovery, sometimes called stable recovery, usually begins after five years of sustained abstinence.
Hopefully you have not only learned to maintain abstinence, you have also learned to make more healthy and productive choices in all areas of your life. Advanced recovery is living that healthy lifestyle for the rest of your life.
As you have learned during your journey , recovery is much more than merely remaining abstinence. Of course, maintaining abstinence is a necessary part of recovery and the core of your recovery program. But if you do not make healthy choices in all areas of your life, you will find it difficult to lead a satisfying, fulfilling life.
One group of recovery experts published a definition of recovery as "a voluntarily maintained lifestyle characterized by sobriety, personal health, and citizenship." Personal health involves not only to physical and mental health, but also social health -- participation in family and social roles. Citizenship refers to "giving back" to the community and society.
Even if you have been clean and sober continually for more than five years, you are still one slip away from a relapse. In spite of your success, you can continue your participation in your mutual support groups.
After five years of sobriety you are much less likely to have a relapse and you may not have to spend as much conscious effort to maintain your sober lifestyle, but your continued recovery can be a lifelong process.

I am nearly 6 and half years alcohol free,it was hard work it takes time but it's so worth it and can be done, keep going forward don't look back...

Abcxyz12345 · 12-05-2015 10:13pm

'Maintaining a recovery-orientated attitude is crucial'. I am really seeing the importance of this for me now - I'm sober nearly 7 months. I have written down a list of things that I need to do & i have a photo of that list in my phone to remind me!

The List includes very basic things - basic to others! - but things I actually have to work hard to do. These include making my bed in the morning, putting laundry in basket, having a breakfast before I go to work, taking a vitamin & other things. They're all very routine things to others but I've learned in my own recovery that my default position is chaos & lack of care for myself. Honestly, when/if I don't do these things it is the beginning of a slide for me that makes my house but also my physical & mental health chaotic... And that for me leads to alcohol misuse & other self destructive behaviors.

My List is in addition to support networks but I've only really realized how important these things were for my recovery - I never even saw them as a problem before. So, for me they're an important part of my commitment to being recovery-orientated in my daily life.

Thanks Realies for your continued wisdom! Good luck to all others on this path too x

Sunnyisland · 13-05-2015 8:24pm

Dear alcohol

We had a deal where you would make me smarter,f funnier and a better dancer,

I saw the video ,

We need to talk ...

derealbadger · 22-05-2015 11:28am

6 years on the 20th may

GerB40 · 22-05-2015 12:22pm

derealbadger wrote: »

6 years on the 20th may

Wow, that's brilliant. Fair play to ya...

Sunnyisland · 22-05-2015 4:43pm

excellent derealbadger.

enoughalready · 23-05-2015 4:24pm

I screwed up and broke my sobriety! Such a shame as I was doing so well. Was 18 months sober and then on Wednesday after finishing my exams I indulged in a few as my whole class were out and there was such an electrifying athmosphere.

Now 3 days later (you can imagine what the two days after entailed) I am shook, fearful and so annoyed at myself. Cannot wait to feel less self hatred and get back on my sober journey! I've let myself down and feel ****!

leinsterdude · 24-05-2015 8:41am

Hi enough already, nobodys perfect, 18 months was a long time, off you go now and try for another 18 months or more, Im sure you have no harm done other than regret.

DEWF · 24-05-2015 9:25pm

Day 1 ,

but I'm not sure If it counts since I was up till 8am drinking today , just seeing the rut I'm in and need a change, I can manage a job but every week my wages are gone by sunday morning and I'm miserable again for the week.

marienbad · 24-05-2015 9:41pm

enoughalready wrote: »

I screwed up and broke my sobriety! Such a shame as I was doing so well. Was 18 months sober and then on Wednesday after finishing my exams I indulged in a few as my whole class were out and there was such an electrifying athmosphere.

Now 3 days later (you can imagine what the two days after entailed) I am shook, fearful and so annoyed at myself. Cannot wait to feel less self hatred and get back on my sober journey! I've let myself down and feel ****!

Don't flog yourself to much ,whats done is done , 18 months is a long time and that is not lost. And you are right ,the sooner you resume your sober journey the quicker this will like just a stumble on your greater journey .

Beware of it dragging on though , there lies the real danger . We are all with you .

enoughalready · 24-05-2015 10:50pm

Thanks guys - well the stumble only lasted three days. I've been back on track since yesterday and getting in the right head space. Basically you could say I'm on Day 2 again, but I don't want to necessarily discount the last 18 months either, it was a slip up that hopefully with the right help won't happen again, anyway, I'm more hopeful today than I was yesterday.

marienbad · 24-05-2015 11:01pm

enoughalready wrote: »

Thanks guys - well the stumble only lasted three days. I've been back on track since yesterday and getting in the right head space. Basically you could say I'm on Day 2 again, but I don't want to necessarily discount the last 18 months either, it was a slip up that hopefully with the right help won't happen again, anyway, I'm more hopeful today than I was yesterday.

Don't discount the last 18 months ! You are back on track and that is the main thing . You had a blip ,learn from it , see how powerful your adversary is , how devious . Now lets move on

Lets just say we are on to phase 2

enoughalready · 25-05-2015 1:16pm

Thank you Marienbad. Phase 2: The Second Chapter. Love it!!! Have a great day (",)

GerB40 · 25-05-2015 3:11pm

Confucius say wrote: »

Day 2. Wasted the last 15 years of my life pretty much being drunk and hungover. Led to unhappiness and failed relationships. I find myself alone now and not having progressedd much in last 10 years. For the last month I've cut down bigtime and improved in a lot if areas. Saved a heap of money, lost a lot of weight, and gotten pretty fit and taken up new hobbies. I want to get off it completely now though. My old life didnt work so hopefully alcohol free will work for me. I'm mid 30s now, hopefully Im not too late to fond happiness. Good luck to all of you.

Mentally you seem to be in the right place to cut out drinking altogether, that's a massive part of giving up so fair play on that. And you've shaped a pretty healthy lifestyle for yourself too so the only advice I could give is to keep it up. You're clearly smart enough to know what to do to get sober so congrats, a major part of the battle is already won for you. Best of luck...

mickydoomsux · 26-05-2015 12:26pm

Confucius say wrote: »

How does one keep a social life without meeting up for beers? How can I meet women? I wish I had made changes years ago

It might be an unpopular opinion but i think it is indeed next to near impossible to have a social life without drink in this country.

I'm sure someone will come along with the usual "join a club/society of some kind for a social life!" but those things usually end up in the pub at some stage or another.

Going out and not drinking isn't really an option either because it is awful to be around drunk people when you are sober and people will comment on it and/or take the piss.

GerB40 · 26-05-2015 1:38pm

mickydoomsux wrote: »

It might be an unpopular opinion but i think it is indeed next to near impossible to have a social life without drink in this country.

I'm sure someone will come along with the usual "join a club/society of some kind for a social life!" but those things usually end up in the pub at some stage or another.

Going out and not drinking isn't really an option either because it is awful to be around drunk people when you are sober and people will comment on it and/or take the piss.

I completely agree. I wanted to reply to Confucius say but I honestly didn't have an answer that wasn't what you wrote above. I got sober by completely shutting myself off to the world (with the odd exception like birthdays and Christmas but the longest I managed to stay out was 3 hours). It worked in the sense that I don't drink anymore but I don't know how to deal with sobriety. A year after my last drink I started going to AA meetings to find a solution for this. That was only a month ago so I'm not exactly closer to an answer but there's a regularity to the meetings that make a social life seem more possible than before. I suppose all I can say is give it time. A bit vague I know but I hope it works..

Abcxyz12345 · 27-05-2015 12:08am

Hi enoughalready, sorry to read about your recent difficulties & I hope you're getting back on track. 18 months is still an incredible stint & your recent slip doesn't negate all the hard work you did during that time. Good luck on your journey. Keep in touch with us xx

enoughalready wrote: »

I screwed up and broke my sobriety! Such a shame as I was doing so well. Was 18 months sober and then on Wednesday after finishing my exams I indulged in a few as my whole class were out and there was such an electrifying athmosphere.

Now 3 days later (you can imagine what the two days after entailed) I am shook, fearful and so annoyed at myself. Cannot wait to feel less self hatred and get back on my sober journey! I've let myself down and feel ****!

enoughalready · 27-05-2015 8:39pm

Thank you Abcxyz12345 - what lovely words. I'm doing as much as possible to stay positive and upbeat, anything but wallow in self pity, helping others to get out of my own head. Hope your journey is going smoothly. Really appreciate the time you took to write that. Cheers (",)

Haven't touched a drop in...

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