"we are going to do something different" - suggestions!

No speeches

Dancing throughout dinner like American weddings

Things are done a certain way for a reason, generally because while some complain, the standard way works.

When considering what to do as "standard" and what to do "differently", I tended to consider the purpose behind that element of the typical wedding. So for instance:

First Dance - It kind of kick starts the dancing part of the night so we kept that, if we hadn't kept it I would have come up with something else that performed a similar function
Bouquet Toss - couldn't come up with a function I wanted to keep so it went
Speeches - I felt we needed to at least welcome the guests and Dad wanted to give a speech so we had three, about five minutes each
Top Table - I think some people enjoy the on-show aspect of it, but not me or husband and as described elsewhere other variants didn't work for us so sweetheart table it was
Bridesmaids - I can see why other people have them - close friends gathered about you on the day, being made a fuss of, looks nice in photos but I don't like being made a fuss of, didn't care about photos and couldn't be bothered with co-ordinating and paying for matching outfits, ergo no bridesmaids.

etc.

If you want to do things differently really get to the root of why and how that's going to work out for your guests.

Stuff that was a tiny bit different about our wedding (I have no illusions that it was actually genuinely different)

Ceremony - tiny in the registry office on Friday, no re-enactment at the reception on Saturday. Guests arrived at 4pm to cocktail hour and we made a grand entrance at about 4.30

First Look Photos - we did most of our photos before the ceremony due to the timing of the registry office vs lunch afterwards. Didn't make a huge difference to our reception but for other couples it could definitely reduce that "gap" of hanging around most guests hate between the ceremony & reception.

Arrival at Reception - some couples hire an ice cream van, we arrived in it. It was great. (With no ceremony, I wanted to kickstart the party a little and it was more fun then hiring a car)

Bridal Party - didn't have one, though his brother and my sister performed some of the functions (best man speech, liaising with the venue on the day)

Flowergirls - we didn't have any kids at the ceremony but we gave two of our friends kids pom poms and they cheered us into the reception, no actual flowers

Sweetheart table - described elsewhere, we had just the two of us at our table, it was lovely. The hotel had never done it before, it took a lot of back and forth to find a table that worked.

Music - we skipped the band and just had a DJ

Crisp sandwich buffet with the evening food, we did it and it went down great. Nothing beats a crisp sambo after a few drinks.....

What is a sweetheart table?

PhoenixParker wrote: »

I have to admit I was a little worried it would be, but went with it anyway because of the language barrier issues and the fact it meant my parents could sit with Mum's brother who they rarely see during dinner and his Mum could sit with her relatives & friends she rarely sees (and chat away in their native language with no awkwardness).

It took precautions against potential loneliness by putting us in the middle of the room and having us face each other instead of awkwardly side by side.

The reality it wasn't lonely at all. It was actually unbelievably lovely to have this quiet oasis in the middle of a room full of our friends and family having a great time. We pottered off to visit other tables between courses (had to be dragged back by the wait staff so they could serve the main course). We both agree it was one of the nicest parts of the day.

Obviously it's not the sort of thing that'll work for everyone or every venue, but it did work for us.

Sounds really nice actually. Makes it easier to catch your breath and have a few minutes to yourselves without missing out on the party. :-)
Might go for something like this.

newacc2015 wrote: »

Something different is not having 300 plus guests at the wedding. I would say the biggest differences between Irish Weddings and US weddings is the reception. Irish people feel the need to invite their third cousin. Where as in the US, you might only invite 20 of your closest friends and family for a small reception. Do you really want your dads vet from 10 years ago at the reception?

We kind of did both - small ceremony with lunch and photos for 12 people on the Friday, big party for 110 on the Saturday. I had to choose between them I'd pick the party on the Saturday and I'm surprised by that choice. If you'd asked me pre-wedding I would have picked Friday only.