"we are going to do something different" - suggestions!

amdublin

Have a sweetheart table instead of a top table.

Or mix up the top table and have your mother sitting beside her partner rather than your oh's partner etc.

Or have the bridesmaids and groomsmen sitting with their partners.

amdublin

Late afternoon or evening wedding. Get married at 4/5pm or later

amdublin

Any more suggestions for "different" things to consider?!

amdublin

Free bar for a while if you can afford it

BabysCoffee

No speeches

Dancing throughout dinner like American weddings

whiskeyman

Don't do something different for the sake of it.

Just do whatever you both want.

You could pick everything about a wedding day (or weekend!) and change bits about it.
Just consider what's right for you, and your guests.

amdublin

Speeches during the drinks reception before sitting down to dinner (was at a wedding and they did this, worked really well)

BabysCoffee

No priest at the top table just for the sake of it!!

PhoenixParker

Things are done a certain way for a reason, generally because while some complain, the standard way works.

When considering what to do as "standard" and what to do "differently", I tended to consider the purpose behind that element of the typical wedding. So for instance:

First Dance - It kind of kick starts the dancing part of the night so we kept that, if we hadn't kept it I would have come up with something else that performed a similar function
Bouquet Toss - couldn't come up with a function I wanted to keep so it went
Speeches - I felt we needed to at least welcome the guests and Dad wanted to give a speech so we had three, about five minutes each
Top Table - I think some people enjoy the on-show aspect of it, but not me or husband and as described elsewhere other variants didn't work for us so sweetheart table it was
Bridesmaids - I can see why other people have them - close friends gathered about you on the day, being made a fuss of, looks nice in photos but I don't like being made a fuss of, didn't care about photos and couldn't be bothered with co-ordinating and paying for matching outfits, ergo no bridesmaids.

etc.

If you want to do things differently really get to the root of why and how that's going to work out for your guests.

Stuff that was a tiny bit different about our wedding (I have no illusions that it was actually genuinely different)

Ceremony - tiny in the registry office on Friday, no re-enactment at the reception on Saturday. Guests arrived at 4pm to cocktail hour and we made a grand entrance at about 4.30

First Look Photos - we did most of our photos before the ceremony due to the timing of the registry office vs lunch afterwards. Didn't make a huge difference to our reception but for other couples it could definitely reduce that "gap" of hanging around most guests hate between the ceremony & reception.

Arrival at Reception - some couples hire an ice cream van, we arrived in it. It was great. (With no ceremony, I wanted to kickstart the party a little and it was more fun then hiring a car)

Bridal Party - didn't have one, though his brother and my sister performed some of the functions (best man speech, liaising with the venue on the day)

Flowergirls - we didn't have any kids at the ceremony but we gave two of our friends kids pom poms and they cheered us into the reception, no actual flowers

Sweetheart table - described elsewhere, we had just the two of us at our table, it was lovely. The hotel had never done it before, it took a lot of back and forth to find a table that worked.

Music - we skipped the band and just had a DJ

annoyedgal

whiskeyman wrote:

Don't do something different for the sake of it.

Very good advice.

amdublin

No band just a dj.

amdublin

A signature cocktail on arrival

amdublin

amdublin wrote: »

No band just a dj.

Totally agree with this. A decent DJ will get the party going and keep it going!. Have the wedding YOU and YOUR partner want.

A buffet rather than a formal sit down meal is another option.

BabysCoffee

A dessert buffet! Get everyone mixing and mingling

amdublin

Deleted User wrote: »

A buffet rather than a formal sit down meal is another option.

I love a buffet dinner.


And a buffet dessert!

Tarzana2

BabysCoffee wrote: »

A dessert buffet! Get everyone mixing and mingling

I love this idea.

It was a buffet at my sister's wedding for the whole meal, and it did get people mingling nicely during!

fits

Ah man I work in a country where EVERY event is a flippin buffet. I hate them (just cos I am sick of them)

fits

I dont think its really possible to do anything 'different' really, its all been done and its all variations on a theme. Just have the day you want.

hotshots85

Crisp sandwich buffet with the evening food, we did it and it went down great. Nothing beats a crisp sambo after a few drinks.....

amdublin

hotshots85 wrote: »

Crisp sandwich buffet with the evening food, we did it and it went down great. Nothing beats a crisp sambo after a few drinks.....

Interesting! Wouldn't be my cup of tea but it's definitely different!

sm213

What is a sweetheart table?

PhoenixParker

sm213 wrote: »

What is a sweetheart table?

When the bride and groom sit by themselves at their own table during the reception dinner. Typically it's head table style, i.e. at the top of the room with them sitting side by side. Lots of images available if you google it.

We did it because it worked for us and our guests quirks, but we sat in the middle of the room facing each other.

It's very common in the US, but I've never known anyone else in Ireland who did it, though, based on feedback amongst our guests there are a few who either wished they'd thought of it or are considering it as an option.

fits

We considered it but thought it was a bit lonely. We just sat at a normal round table in the middle of the room with parents, bridesmaid and groomsman.

PhoenixParker

fits wrote: »

We considered it but thought it was a bit lonely. We just sat at a normal round table in the middle of the room with parents, bridesmaid and groomsman.

I have to admit I was a little worried it would be, but went with it anyway because of the language barrier issues and the fact it meant my parents could sit with Mum's brother who they rarely see during dinner and his Mum could sit with her relatives & friends she rarely sees (and chat away in their native language with no awkwardness).

It took precautions against potential loneliness by putting us in the middle of the room and having us face each other instead of awkwardly side by side.

The reality it wasn't lonely at all. It was actually unbelievably lovely to have this quiet oasis in the middle of a room full of our friends and family having a great time. We pottered off to visit other tables between courses (had to be dragged back by the wait staff so they could serve the main course). We both agree it was one of the nicest parts of the day.

Obviously it's not the sort of thing that'll work for everyone or every venue, but it did work for us.

fits

To change subject, consider Outer Mongolia.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/08/26/couple-hope-you-can-make-it-to-their-wedding-in-outer-mongolia/

PhoenixParker

fits wrote: »

To change subject, consider Outer Mongolia.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/08/26/couple-hope-you-can-make-it-to-their-wedding-in-outer-mongolia/

I have to say I've seen foreign weddings creeping back lately (recession is clearly over) and it's not a trend I'm a fan of.

sm213

PhoenixParker wrote: »

I have to admit I was a little worried it would be, but went with it anyway because of the language barrier issues and the fact it meant my parents could sit with Mum's brother who they rarely see during dinner and his Mum could sit with her relatives & friends she rarely sees (and chat away in their native language with no awkwardness).

It took precautions against potential loneliness by putting us in the middle of the room and having us face each other instead of awkwardly side by side.

The reality it wasn't lonely at all. It was actually unbelievably lovely to have this quiet oasis in the middle of a room full of our friends and family having a great time. We pottered off to visit other tables between courses (had to be dragged back by the wait staff so they could serve the main course). We both agree it was one of the nicest parts of the day.

Obviously it's not the sort of thing that'll work for everyone or every venue, but it did work for us.

Sounds really nice actually. Makes it easier to catch your breath and have a few minutes to yourselves without missing out on the party. :-)
Might go for something like this.

newacc2015

Something different is not having 300 plus guests at the wedding. I would say the biggest differences between Irish Weddings and US weddings is the reception. Irish people feel the need to invite their third cousin. Where as in the US, you might only invite 20 of your closest friends and family for a small reception. Do you really want your dads vet from 10 years ago at the reception?

fits

newacc2015 wrote: »

Do you really want your dads vet from 10 years ago at the reception?

Your Dad was seen by a vet? :pac:

Stheno

newacc2015 wrote: »

Something different is not having 300 plus guests at the wedding. I would say the biggest differences between Irish Weddings and US weddings is the reception. Irish people feel the need to invite their third cousin. Where as in the US, you might only invite 20 of your closest friends and family for a small reception. Do you really want your dads vet from 10 years ago at the reception?

I was at a wedding where there were a very small number of guests. It was lovely

PhoenixParker

newacc2015 wrote: »

Something different is not having 300 plus guests at the wedding. I would say the biggest differences between Irish Weddings and US weddings is the reception. Irish people feel the need to invite their third cousin. Where as in the US, you might only invite 20 of your closest friends and family for a small reception. Do you really want your dads vet from 10 years ago at the reception?

We kind of did both - small ceremony with lunch and photos for 12 people on the Friday, big party for 110 on the Saturday. I had to choose between them I'd pick the party on the Saturday and I'm surprised by that choice. If you'd asked me pre-wedding I would have picked Friday only.

Sunny Dayz

Oh my god I love the idea of a buffet dessert table! We stayed in a hotel in Clifden, the Abbeyglen, and they do this for the dessert course at dinner (as a guest in the hotel, I haven't been to a wedding there). It's great to have choice, sample a few different things and make (a few!) return trips to the table for more!

amdublin

Don't follow trends....everyone is doing little signs atm, doing them is not doing anything different.


My suggestion is actually don't add anything yourselves, just buy the package from your hotel and don't do anything else - you think you are doing something different but really it's been done a million times before. And also no one really notices - the package the hotel offers is nice enough. Don't waste your money.




*I may have got out of the wrong side of bed today after a bad night's sleep....grrr

michellie

hotshots85 wrote: »

Crisp sandwich buffet with the evening food, we did it and it went down great. Nothing beats a crisp sambo after a few drinks.....

I just saw this on facebook, the tayto one ??

Milly33

I had the crisp sandwich table all planned but it didn't come out till the second day twas great though..

evening wedding or starting them later is great.. we had ours at three and the day flew by, having it all ready to go is the key..

Seating couples together too is spot on, we had the groomsmen with their ladies with parts of our family and it got them all chatting there was no like oh who are you then...

Late evening food if ye are doing the wedding late is a waste of time, crisp sambos is defo better idea for people as that is all they want. just make sure ye have someone there to set it out

hotshots85

michellie wrote: »

I just saw this on facebook, the tayto one ??

No we bought a few large boxes of crisps, some nice baskets to have them put out in and they were set up beside the evening food. Hotel had staff hand out buttered bread at no charge, people could just make their own. It went down well

Lucyfur

We had a small wedding so instead of a top table, we had a horseshoe shape where we all sat together.

I didn't throw the bouquet..we got married abroad and on the morning of the wedding the housekeepers in the hotel were so nice and showed such an interest in us that we gave them all the flowers the next day.

But I agree with having a day just right for you and your partner

Moody_mona

Milly33 wrote: »

I had the crisp sandwich table all planned but it didn't come out till the second day twas great though..

Milly would you mind telling me about the crisp sandwich table??

Second Toughest in_the Freshers

as someone (a male) who has been to a few weddings in the last few years, but has none on the horizon himself, this is what I would say... spend less on flowers (at the end of every pew? on every windowsill? in every nook and cranny?), table displays, party favours (chocolates, candied almonds, personalised matchbooks etc. even disposable cameras at every table...) half the audience won't notice or appreciate it.

a few flowers on the alter, a couple tealights on every table, be grand.

spend the money on food, anything after one complementary drink won't be noticed, (or the appreciation will depreciate with each free glass,..) but very good food will be noticed

amdublin

Milly33 wrote: »

evening wedding or starting them later is great.. we had ours at three and the day flew by, having it all ready to go is the key..

Seating couples together too is spot on, we had the groomsmen with their ladies with parts of our family and it got them all chatting there was no like oh who are you then...

Milly!!!!!!!!!!!! You got married! And no photo of you over in the wedding photo thread??? (Unless I missed it!)

discodiva92

Any pics of this crisp sandwich thing

Milly33

hahah not yet I was trying to last night but could not figure it out ill try again there...

well for the sambo table. I just had a nice silver frame with a picture of tayto's and a tayto sandwich.. I had the bags in a nice little basket and was planning to have bread out with little tubs of butter. we just did not get around to it, dinner ran late, so the band ran late etc it would have been a waste.. I did put the crisps out the next day and they were demolished..

we got some scampi frys and bacon fries too for the bad and they were eaten within a an hour id say.. Must say ideas like this are much better than a huge cake....

michellie

discodiva92 wrote: »

Any pics of this crisp sandwich thing

Hope this works,boards isnt working well for me this evening!!

heldel00

Bridesmaids in really classy jumpsuits.
Louise McSharry from 2fm had her bridesmaids wearing these and they looked fantastic.

amdublin

heldel00 wrote: »

Bridesmaids in really classy jumpsuits.
Louise McSharry from 2fm had her bridesmaids wearing these and they looked fantastic.

Okay we 're going to need a photo of this!!??!! Classy jumpsuits = does not compute.

Addle

A quick google image search will show you how stylish and flattering jumpsuits can be.

amdublin

Addle wrote: »

A quick google image search will show you how stylish and flattering jumpsuits can be.

I'll be honest I've never in my life seen a "classy jumpsuit" on an Irish person, or an Irish person looking classy wearing a jumpsuit.


Which is why I said I'd need to see a pic. And which is why I went looking for a pic:
https://rsvpmagazine.ie/louise-mcsharrys-bridesmaids-were-the-coolest-ever/


And which is why I stand corrected, THESE jumpsuits on THESE girls are very nice....and classy!

acon2119

I'm assuming some brides don't have parents walking them up the aisle and giving them away anymore, but I know that many do because I have never been to a wedding that didn't have a relative giving the bride away.

I think it would be nicer for the bride to walk up the aisle herself (no one giving her away) or even for the bride and groom to walk up the aisle together, enter the church/ registry office or hotel venue together

amdublin

A "not typical" wedding dress. A dress with a colour in it for example.

heldel00

amdublin wrote: »

Okay we 're going to need a photo of this!!??!! Classy jumpsuits = does not compute.

Eh I can just about put up a post! Haven't a clue how to do links/images etc.
But I see you did it for me. Thanks am.

eviltwin

acon2119 wrote: »

I'm assuming some brides don't have parents walking them up the aisle and giving them away anymore, but I know that many do because I have never been to a wedding that didn't have a relative giving the bride away.

I think it would be nicer for the bride to walk up the aisle herself (no one giving her away) or even for the bride and groom to walk up the aisle together, enter the church/ registry office or hotel venue together

That's what we did, we walked in with our daughter between us. We travelled to the venue together which I suppose is quite unusual.