Advantages of being single

Filmer Paradise · 23-08-2015 02:17AM

DivingDuck wrote: »

I always thought I'd like to be in a long-term/serious relationship, but experiencing them taught me otherwise. They weren't bad relationships or anything (I've always been very fairly fortunate in that respect), but I never felt as free or content as I do while single.

Maybe everyone ends up wanting the opposite of what they wanted when they were younger...?

Everyone's different. I was talking about things in general really. Not just relationships.

When you're younger you tend to daydream about the future. As you enter you're 30's & if things haven't turned out like you expected, the future can be something to be feared.

People tend to deal in reality rather than dreams after the age of 30.

But Hey. Everyone's different.:)

Pac1Man · 23-08-2015 02:19AM

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

One of the happiest couples I know were definitely people who "settled" for each other. She wanted kids, desperately and unashamedly to the point of tears when the subject came up, he was done with dating after some really bad experiences and wanted someone to want him now. They met and were engaged within 2 months, he'd often say "she doesn't have the best sense of humour now... but we can work on that" among other rather shakey things. Now they've kids, a lovely home, a whole load of common ground and the things that once were important to them like admiring someones wit and intelligence etc are obviously not as necessary to creating a great life as you'd think, for them at least! They admire each others parenting skills now and what each of them brings to making the life they have. It definitely works really well sometimes!

That sounds like an actual nightmare. Especially the bolded bits.

John T Carroll · 23-08-2015 02:34AM

Candie wrote: »

You're never rudely awoken by a poke in the back.

A single person is someone who has never made the same mistake even once.

NachoBusiness · 23-08-2015 02:35AM

Don't have to take me Tupac poster down.

Filmer Paradise · 23-08-2015 02:35AM

Pac1Man wrote: »

That sounds like an actual nightmare. Especially the bolded bits.

Might not be. That couple could be perfectly happy now.

There's much to be said for having kids in a situation like this. The shared memories, worries, expectations,& so on.

This can give those concerned a purpose in life, a future & a reason to carry on as they get older. Contentment is a thing to be valued sometimes.

colossus-x · 23-08-2015 02:51AM

The advantage of being single are that you don't have to tolerate the disadvantages of being in a relationship - whatever they are , I don't know.

_Whimsical_ · 23-08-2015 06:20AM

Pac1Man wrote: »

That sounds like an actual nightmare. Especially theed bits.

Well you would think it would be a nightmare alright certainly but it's really not. There's research that finds people in arranged marriages are equally happy, equally fulfilled as those in marriages based on love relationships. That as someone said probably due to the fact that people who marry to have a family with an expectation to work on their relationship and create a good one can develop love abd affection for each other. While romantic love and fancying someone are the gold standard in the western world we all know from experience those feelings can fade and aren't as solid as poetry and novels might suggest for a lot of people.

It's not what I'd want for myself but I think it's probably naievity to think it's the only way and that there's only one basis for a fulfilling life with someone.

osarusan · 23-08-2015 07:35AM

Ok, i'm convinced.

I'm calling a divorce lawyer.

Mister Vain · 23-08-2015 07:48AM

Pink Lemons wrote: »

Your hand doesn't make you feel guilty when you finish too early

Or if you accidently let one rip.

Huntergonzo · 23-08-2015 10:38AM

You don't need a permission slip to go drinkin, nor will you have someone giving out to you when you're hungover.

As the aul fella said to me once when I asked him for relationship advice = "never jump into the well for a drink of water son".

The Dogs Bollix · 23-08-2015 11:30AM

Miley30 wrote: »

Is there any ?

You can holiday without the expense of partners and kids.

Ahhh bliss

kfallon · 23-08-2015 11:49AM

I can lie on the couch for the day watching sport and nobody will be moaning or complaining at me or wanting me to go somewhere or to meet someone.

It has disadvantages too tho!

suicide_circus · 23-08-2015 01:42PM

No irritating cuddling and if you choke on a piece of food there's no pesky heimlich manoeuvres, you can just die in peace.

_Kaiser_ · 23-08-2015 01:50PM

It depends really on how comfortable and happy you are with your own company.

For those who don't really "need" someone else around then it can be fantastic - as others have said the freedom to do what you want, when you want is great.

For other people though not being in a relationship is a lonely depressing time, or a sign (to them) that they've somehow failed. Some will go so far as shacking up with the wrong person to avoid it, then wonder why it all fell apart down the line.

I think as we get older we are more comfortable with the idea of just having our own space sometimes and look forward to the idea of "doing nothing" for the weekend rather than 2 days of socialising or "doing stuff". If you can find someone who feels the same way and is happy to do their own thing as well as things together then you're laughing. If it becomes a case though of dragging along behind them for the sake of a quiet life though it's probably time to move on.

HandsomeDan · 23-08-2015 01:51PM

Depend on your age. But being single beyond 30 for any length of time would leave a person mentally unhinged in my opinion. Sitting in an empty house after work. Falling asleep alone. It wouldn't be good for a persons mental well being.

_Kaiser_ · 23-08-2015 01:55PM

HandsomeDan wrote: »

Depend on your age. But being single beyond 30 for any length of time would leave a person mentally unhinged in my opinion. Sitting in an empty house after work. Falling asleep alone. It wouldn't be good for a persons mental well being.

Disagree.. it depends entirely on how happy they are with their own company.

They may in fact enjoy the peace and quiet after a busy, stressful, noisy day in work, or may enjoy the opportunity to just go out for a drink, the gym, or catch-up with friends without having to justify/explain it to someone.

Menas · 23-08-2015 01:56PM

HandsomeDan wrote: »

Depend on your age. But being single beyond 30 for any length of time would leave a person mentally unhinged in my opinion. Sitting in an empty house after work. Falling asleep alone. It wouldn't be good for a persons mental well being.

Over 30s + single => mentally unhinged?

Bit of a leap there!

23-08-2015 02:00PM

far too much oversimplification in either viewpoint offered there imo.

_Kaiser_ · 23-08-2015 02:02PM

Then there's the long distance scenario... alone most of the time anyway but not entirely free to enjoy it, and not getting the benefits of being in a relationship either.

kylith · 23-08-2015 02:05PM

HandsomeDan wrote: »

Depend on your age. But being single beyond 30 for any length of time would leave a person mentally unhinged in my opinion. Sitting in an empty house after work. Falling asleep alone. It wouldn't be good for a persons mental well being.

Disagree. I'm over 30, I've been single for about a year, and I was mentally unhinged to begin with thank you very much.

LeBash · 23-08-2015 02:26PM

Having to buy jacks roll twice a year.

Joe prim · 23-08-2015 02:33PM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

ha!:D

In the morning, I could up and fly to Belgium. Not going to but it's handy to have the option available.

Possibly the saddest aspiration I have ever heard expressed on Boards, (or anywhere for that matter)

23-08-2015 03:01PM

A lot of the disadvantages people mention are making the assumption of living with the person you are going out with such as sharing a bed when lots of people spend years going out without moving in together.

23-08-2015 04:42PM

hairyprincess wrote: »

Not having to shave legs

Lol. I'm in a relationship and rarely shave my legs.

Greentopia · 23-08-2015 05:55PM

If sleeping arrangements are seen as such a big disadvantage to being single-which they seem to be for many people here-why don't ye sleep in separate beds as a couple? or separate rooms even if there are two bedrooms available?

That's what I used to do when I was living with my ex. Sex in his bed when we wanted then back to sleep in my own bed. I sleep like a log and hate anyone tossing and turning in a bed with me or waking me up earlier than I plan with their alarm clock going off or them getting up. Separate beds or preferably bedrooms solves that problem.

Advantages of being single-can't actually think of any as I live pretty much the same life single or in a relationship, apart from the time spent together.

Edit: hah ok, after reading hairyprincess' post there is one-not having to shave my legs or bikini line so often. Getting laser treatments to remove it permanently at the moment though so even that will be null and void soon.

hairyprincess · 23-08-2015 06:28PM

Things I miss about being single are time to myself as and when I want it, i really really miss that. And being able to read in bed at night without annoying himself with the light of the Kindle even though I have it turned way down :-(

Greentopia · 23-08-2015 06:54PM

hairyprincess wrote: »

Things I miss about being single are time to myself as and when I want it, i really really miss that.

I never understand when people say that. Why not just say to your partner that you need more time alone? if you put it tactfully and gently there's no need for hurt feelings.

Medusa22 · 24-08-2015 11:43AM

There are advantages and disadvantages to being single and to being in a relationship. I think that people often want what they can't have or that the grass is greener on the other side. There are some things I miss about being single sometimes, mainly just that I wouldn't have anyone else to consider when I make decisions, but overall I'm happy in my relationship and I'd much rather be with my OH than single.

Lux23 · 24-08-2015 11:50AM

There are lots of advantages to being single and I think it is much easier to adjust to not being in a relationship to being in one. I think what I liked about being single was that you could pretty much do what you wanted and didn't have anyone to answer to. I sort of had a secret life when I was single as I often did things alone and I enjoyed that. Now most things are centred around friends, family and my partner so I don't get to disappear off on my own any more. A few weeks ago, I went our for a couple of drinks on my own (like completely by myself) for the first time in about three years. I miss that.

Fox_In_Socks · 24-08-2015 09:58PM

Joe prim wrote: »

Possibly the saddest aspiration I have ever heard expressed on Boards, (or anywhere for that matter)

ha! Well, I suppose I could try and have sexy Sweden or Flashy France as an option, but I know myself I wouldn't get anywhere.

Whereas Belgium...nice, flat, plain but steady Belgium is where I'm at.:pac:

Advantages of being single

Comments