Airport security!

murpho999 · 29-07-2015 04:22PM

smash wrote: »

Just a Gillette razor and 2 spare blades.

I think no matter how prepared you are there's the possibility of catching a guard who's determined to put you out no matter what. "Can you take off your shoes/jacket please"

Those type of razors have been allowed on board for years. So is not an issue.

pickarooney · 29-07-2015 04:25PM

Stansted beats any French (or Soviet-era Belarus) airport hands down for cuntishness.

rubadub · 29-07-2015 04:45PM

I had a roll of electrical tape taken off me, the bog standard type, not wide duct tape or anything. Security said it was since it could be used to tape the pilot up. Could have tied him up better with my shoelaces but thought better of saying it to the idiot lest he take them too.

If I was a pilot I would rather face an attacker with a roll of tape or a nail scissors, rather than face a guy with a couple of broken wine bottles he was freely given on the plane, or a larger broken whiskey bottle from duty free. I have been given proper glasses and cutlery on planes.

Riskymove wrote: »

"safety " razors and disposables etc are fine to bring on board. Not really an effective weapon

Easily turned into a weapon, have you ever seen tv programs about prison and the "shanks" they discover. It would be simple to create a weapon from parts you pre-prepared.

Riskymove · 29-07-2015 04:51PM

rubadub wrote: »

Easily turned into a weapon, have you ever seen tv programs about prison and the "shanks" they discover. It would be simple to create a weapon from parts you pre-prepared.

lots of things can be made into weapons

plastic and wood can be sharpened/planed etc

MonkieSocks · 29-07-2015 05:15PM

The_Valeyard wrote: »

I always feel guilty going through airport security even if I've done nothing wrong.

They are watching you :eek:

The_Valeyard · 29-07-2015 05:17PM

MonkieSocks wrote: »

They are watching you :eek:

Ooohhhhh, kinda sexy. Might do a dancfoand wink for em next time

mikom · 29-07-2015 05:28PM

Window dressing that makes me feel like a cow being driven up a crush.

Meanwhile..........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lsem22DkIjw

MadsL · 29-07-2015 05:32PM

I'm always amazed by the amount of people who vacantly stare at the information video and then instantly forget the information.

Passenger puts newspaper in tray.
Walks up to scanner
Oh, belt
Back to tray
Walks up to scanner
Oh, wallet
Back to tray
Walks up to scanner
Oh, coins
Back to tray
Walks up to scanner
Sir, your jacket please
Oh, sorry
Walks to scanner
Sir, shoes please
Back to tray
Walks through scanner
BEEP!

I have no clue how these people even get dressed in the morning.

Boom_Bap · 29-07-2015 05:39PM

I'm like George Clooney in that clip from the movie posted earlier.
I zip through security, all items on my person are put in bag or jacket pocket which will be placed in the tray including my belt.
Straight through.

When I'm travelling with my family, my missus always will take an age getting her sh*t together. She will always have to be hand searched as well for beeping going through the scanner.
The kids will be wrecking the place.

As for the point of security. It helps filter people through the airport, will catch bigger stuff that could be a problem past the gate. It's just a nightmare when people like me travelling with my family are ahead of you.
August 6th, Dublin Airport, you have been warned.

GLaDOS · 29-07-2015 05:40PM

Boom_Bap wrote: »

August 6th, Dublin Airport, you have been warned.

I am genuinely getting a flight that day too :pac:

Cienciano · 29-07-2015 05:42PM

I hate it, purely because of the stupid rules. About 3 years ago I was flying from dublin, it was really busy and old couple were ahead of me in the security queue, obviously not regular travellers. They were asked if they had any liquids and the guy produces a small bottle of aftershave. They told him he'd have to go to the back of the queue to get a little clear bag to put it in. :eek:
Thankfully someone in the queue has a spare one and gave it to him.

rubadub wrote: »

I had a roll of electrical tape taken off me, the bog standard type, not wide duct tape or anything. Security said it was since it could be used to tape the pilot up. Could have tied him up better with my shoelaces but thought better of saying it to the idiot lest he take them too.

If I was a pilot I would rather face an attacker with a roll of tape or a nail scissors, rather than face a guy with a couple of broken wine bottles he was freely given on the plane, or a larger broken whiskey bottle from duty free. I have been given proper glasses and cutlery on planes.

Easily turned into a weapon, have you ever seen tv programs about prison and the "shanks" they discover. It would be simple to create a weapon from parts you pre-prepared.

Often wondered that, a keyring 1 inch pen knife isn't allowed through, but a 1 litre bottle of 60% vodka is available to buy at the other side.
Really it's the airports pretending they're secure, not about actually being secure.

MadsL · 29-07-2015 05:45PM

It has always struck me, knowing a little about security assessment, that the principle of risk assessement is massively ignored when it comes to people being treated equally:

Take two passengers:
1. An businessperson, flown 70,000 miles this year, multiple frequent flyer memberships.
2. A student, first flight ever.

Finally TSA after too many years of silliness has recognised the value of risk assessment and has introduced Pre screening as an option. The ony issues at stake are the privacy concerns.

TSA’s Secure Flight program is a robust system that allows TSA to make Risk Based Security decisions that are crucial to the security of our transportation systems. Today, Secure Flight not only identifies high risk passengers by matching them against the TSDB, but it also uses the information to assign all passengers a risk category: high risk, low risk, or unknown risk. At the same time, TSA has also enhanced Secure Flight’s privacy oversight mechanisms to protect personally identifiable information.

source

I'd like to see an invitation only fast track at airports, give the security personnel who supervise the boarding pass check line the power to hand a fast-track pass to those who quite obviously are professional or frequent travellers.

Wanderer2010 · 29-07-2015 05:46PM

Dublin staff are fine in my opinion. It's the absolute dogs in America that really get on my nerves I have yet to meet one decent civil member of airport security staff from the States. If they aren't barking at you to move NOW or yelling at you to get back if you so much as move an inch out of place, they are lording it over you as you pass about ten of them when they search your luggage and try to intimidate you. In fifteen years flying all over America that's always been my experience.

Boom_Bap · 29-07-2015 05:51PM

MadsL wrote: »

I'd like to see an invitation only fast track at airports, give the security personnel who supervise the boarding pass check line the power to hand a fast-track pass to those who quite obviously are professional or frequent travellers.

That is available in alot of airports, but you have to pay for it.
Randomly selecting people is not cool though with discimination and the whatnot.
And there is argument to do the opposite for assitance for first time passangers who need the extra help.
The way it is now, the follow the herd mentality is generally how people work better in crowds (i think).

MadsL · 29-07-2015 05:51PM

The carry on rules are absurd though. I have short skis (1 metre long) that I used to be able to bring as carry on, about 6 years ago they stopped allowing this "sharp edges" - skis have a metal 90 degree edge, and they would struggle to give you a 'papercut'.

Meanwhile; ski boots are fine. Whenever I pack to fly with them I slip them on my hands and wonder why I am allowed to have 3 pound hard plastic boxing gloves on a flight?

the evasion_kid · 29-07-2015 05:55PM

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Dublin staff are fine in my opinion. It's the absolute dogs in America that really get on my nerves I have yet to meet one decent civil member of airport security staff from the States. If they aren't barking at you to move NOW or yelling at you to get back if you so much as move an inch out of place, they are lording it over you as you pass about ten of them when they search your luggage and try to intimidate you. In fifteen years flying all over America that's always been my experience.

Newark airport is a cnut for this,fella in front of me left a one cent coin in his pocket going through and it beeped,thought they were going to tazer him over it.they try throw trick questions at ya,I was sweating going through cause of the humidity and the officer asks me "you're sweating an awful lot there sir any reason for that?"
Because it's fcuking warm......,what did he expect?"Yeah I've got a couple of ak-47s in the bag"

MadsL · 29-07-2015 05:57PM

Boom_Bap wrote: »

That is available in alot of airports, but you have to pay for it.

It sticks in my craw to pay for security to function as they should be doing it anyway.

Randomly selecting people is not cool though with discimination and the whatnot.
And there is argument to do the opposite for assitance for first time passangers who need the extra help.
The way it is now, the follow the herd mentality is generally how people work better in crowds (i think).

Yet you can be randomly selected for extra security...

I'm proposing a "you look like you know what you are doing line" so you can still assist the dim or those in need. They will just not get through as fast.

I've lost track of the amount of flights I have been under serious pressure to catch because of appalling mismanagement of lines, understaffing, inconsistances (laptop in or out ffs!!) and lack of a decent system of assisting those that really need help.

Tigger · 29-07-2015 08:19PM

i carry a small roll of electrical tape in my laptop bag
not allowed apparantly

gutenberg · 29-07-2015 09:59PM

Honestly I find Dublin staff to be efficient and patient, especially when they're explaining the rules to some gombeen who clearly didn't bother to read or listen to the information while standing in a queue for 15 minutes.

For all those saying that the USA has crazy security, I would agree re: the gruffness of many TSA officers, and how unfriendly they can be. But my experience of the actual security level was really not good at all: on an internal flight from LAX, they were letting people through with large bottles of water/toiletries (which weren't bagged either), people didn't seem to have to separate electronics, and no one I saw had to take shoes off. Now perhaps what I experienced was an aberration (I'm flying internally again next week, so we'll see) but the TSA didn't inspire much confidence in me on that occasion, despite the hardman exterior.

29-07-2015 10:30PM

razorblunt wrote: »

I also threw protein powder into a plastic bag once in a rush to the airport, susbsequently a liquid was loose in the bag and he took out the bag of powder. There was an audible gasp from the people around ... "it's strawberry flavoured protein, just smell it" wasn't the right thing to say.

Why not
What happened

Massimo Cassagrande · 29-07-2015 10:42PM

Wander through security, pop into duty-free, and if you are of a certain mindset, there is a veritable cornucopia of devastating weaponry available therein to bring onto the plane. No need to carry anything through security. I always kinda wonder why they bother.

Sheep Lover · 29-07-2015 10:47PM

Bind a load of loose wires around an alarm clock with tape and then leave it in your bag. Guaranteed to get yourself fast tracked through security

jungleman · 29-07-2015 10:50PM

Had an embarrassing encounter with security in Berlin airport a couple of years ago.

I was running out of money so I stopped in a shop and bought a shítload of cock shaped lollipops to give to my friends as presents. There were guys on the street in Berlin selling gas masks so I bought one of them for myself (never even crossed my mind that they were profiting off the Holocaust, I just thought it would look cool in my room. Clap clap for me).

I crammed all of this stuff into my bag, got to the airport, and when I was going through security and had my bag on the conveyor belt going through the X-ray machine, something in the bag caught their attention. Two of the guys started whispering to each other and called over two more, who took me aside and made me carry my bag over to a separate area.

So I had to open my bag, out tumbled about 30 cock shaped lollipops in front of four security guys, then take the gas mask out (they did not look happy), only to find it was a bloody KEY RING that caused all the panic.

JuliusCaesar · 29-07-2015 10:53PM

smash wrote: »

I think no matter how prepared you are there's the possibility of catching a guard who's determined to put you out no matter what. "Can you take off your shoes/jacket please"

I fly regularly so have it down to a fine art now. But it's the inconsistencies that get me. Dublin airport is generally fine and quick, unlike some airports where the queues are so long that people are panicking about missing their flights. This is for 6am flights and I can tell you NOBODY turns up 2 hours beforehand.

My shoes are fine, don't need to take them off at Dublin, but on the return flight they are potentially dangerous weapons.

The best one I had was when I was told to take my specs off and put them through the scanner.

Cookie_Monster · 30-07-2015 12:23AM

Flying internally here in NZ is great. No queues, no security, turn up 5 mins before the plane leaves...

I ****ing hate international travel though, I've never been in an airprot where they had enough security or immigration staff on to deal with the volumes.
US Immigration / preclearence in Dublin airport is one of the worst experiences I've had in a while, so much slower than doing it in the US now.

shane9689 · 30-07-2015 12:37AM

airport security is bollocks.....try fly into a country within Europe and your scanned, searched, photographed and fingerprinted...however, try drive or take a boat, and nothing!! whats the point? i understand it for international flights, but flights within europe should be waaay more relaxed since we already have open borders

SpaceTime · 30-07-2015 01:43AM

I was asked to put my *rimless* specs into the tray at a U.S. Airport which rendered me unable to see! I walked straight into the side of the metal detector and tripped over someone's bag!

I also wasn't able to find my glasses on the other side because I couldn't bloody see them! I started feeling around a tray and they started yelling at me!

Whole thing came down to a screener insisting that rimless, very thin armed specs were setting off the detector, not the studs in my jeans. It was definitely the studs but, my specs had been put through at this stage.

It seems to be about humiliation rather than security over there!

refusetolose · 30-07-2015 02:01AM

Dennis Reynolds wrote: »

Heathrow is the worst imo, had to strip to me boxers there one time. Cracking bird in front of me also. Had a Huge stalk going on. Somehow managed to conceal it. Thankfully.

Can't wait until we can rock up 15 minutes before take off and board up.

mustn't have been so Huge then

Son Of A Vidic · 30-07-2015 02:24AM

Dennis Reynolds wrote: »

Heathrow is the worst imo, had to strip to me boxers there one time. Cracking bird in front of me also. Had a Huge stalk going on. Somehow managed to conceal it. Thankfully.

If you managed to conceal it while wearing boxers, then I think you need to replace the word 'huge', with the words 'not obvious'.

SuperS54 · 30-07-2015 07:12AM

Understaffing, inconsistent rules and idiots who have no idea what they are doing (passengers and staff) are what create stress. I fly regularly for work and have a fair idea what's expected in each country but you still get a wobbler now and then. Last flight was to China from Taiwan via Hongkong. Taiwan ~ no big issues, take laptop out, liquids in a bag and stroll through. Only issue is all the Chinese tourists who are taking the second flight of their life (first being flying to Taiwan) and are trying to take ridiculous items as carry on as they don't trust checked baggage. Hongkong it's through security again even though I have just gotten off a plane and could not have left the airport...this time laptops must be kept in the bag and you'll get shouted at for trying to take it out, belts off and perhaps shoes too depending on the style of shoe. Return from China, laptop out, liquids in bag, don't bother with anything else as the metal detector seems to be set to detect people rather than metal, if you went through in the nude I'm fairly sure it would go off so I never bother with belt or shoes as you're getting patted down anyway. Hope upon hope that you're not behind a tour group about to be on their first ever flight or you're in for a long wait...Despite all that, this dude somehow managed to get petrol, a lighter and a knife onto a flight...http://www.scmp.com/news/china/society/article/1843760/passenger-subdued-after-attempting-set-fire-plane

Airport security!

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