How do you get over being unattractive/plain-looking?

cloud493 · 15-07-2015 10:18AM #1

If it applies to you of course, since I'm sure theres some beautiful looking creatures on boards, how do you cope with being ugly? Cos I'm an ugly ass bastard, and it can be tough sometimes. I'm ugly, plain, lanky, etc.

My own general strategy is to be a hermit much as possible. Don't let anyone ever take a picture of me, try not to look at people as much as possible, don't make eye contact, avoid social contact as much as possible, and don't be out of my house for any longer than necessary, no attempts to force my ugly ass face on anyone. It got easier when I realised I was so disgusting no woman would ever want me either.

How about you guys?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 15-07-2015 10:21AM

Just learn to be happy with what you've got I suppose. You're never going to be the hottest most beautiful person, there's always going to be someone better and beauty is subjective too, so someone I might think is the bees knees, someone else might think they were a wrote off looking yoke.

You can't change being ugly so just suck it up and learn to like it!

Mesrine65 · 15-07-2015 10:22AM

Kindness, charisma & sense of humour goes a long way.

Knasher · 15-07-2015 10:25AM

I go into the cosmetics isle in the supermarket and fill all the beauty products with butter. I think it is best to try and drag everyone else down to my level.

Menas · 15-07-2015 10:25AM

Judging people solely on looks is very shallow. You are best off not been friends with those type people.
I am no oil painting, but think I make up for it with other attractive traits.
To be honest, if I was deadly handsome I would not want to live life depending on my looks. Too shallow for me.

chanelfreak · 15-07-2015 10:26AM

I rate things like intelligence, wit and humour over looks. I mean pretty things are nice for a while, but no point in going out with someone who is only a face and nothing more.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 15-07-2015 10:29AM

cloud493 wrote: »

My own general strategy is to be a hermit much as possible. Don't let anyone ever take a picture of me, try not to look at people as much as possible, don't make eye contact, avoid social contact as much as possible, and don't be out of my house for any longer than necessary, no attempts to force my ugly ass face on anyone.

All this stuff doubles your unattractiveness, though. Make the most of what little you have and you probably won't look like a total ghoul.

biko · 15-07-2015 10:30AM

Balaclava or burka.

15-07-2015 10:31AM

By stopping being plain and unattractive and get hot.

Sam Kade · 15-07-2015 10:31AM

Mesrine65 wrote: »

Kindness, charisma & sense of humour goes a long way.

Indeed, you could be the ugliest b@stard under the sun and once you can charm people they immediately look past your ugliness. If you are ugly and not a charmer you're fcuked though

blue note · 15-07-2015 10:32AM

I think that most guys are regarded as ugly or plain looking to be honest. I was discussing looks with a female friend of mine the other day and she was making the point that women are typically less shallow, because you'll very rarely see a good looking guy with an unattractive girl whereas you'll often see unattractive guys with good looking girls.

I agreed to a point, but asked which of my male friends are good looking (she'd know most of them). Out of a sample of about 20 or 30 guys a couple "weren't bad" or were "alright" looking. These were near the end of the list when she realised that she was answering no to every single one. Then with her friends or girls in general I'd find lots of them attractive. And I think that's true for most guys that they are far more likely to regard girls as attractive.

Now there are other factors - make up and clothes on girls do make a difference. And I think girls are just better looking anyway to be honest. But I think the opposite of "girls are less shallow" is probably true - girls are completely unrealistic in what's good looking and not.

So OP, I wouldn't worry about it if you're unattractive / plain-looking. We all are to women. But you're beautiful to me

Lux23 · 15-07-2015 10:32AM

This thread makes me sad. I must see a few hundred people every day and I reckon I have only thought to myself once or twice that a person was 'ugly'. And that makes me a bit of a scumbag.

Tar.Aldarion · 15-07-2015 10:33AM

Personality is something that can and should be worked on by everybody, Looks shouldn't matter, realistically all they are is symmetry, so what. Much more interested in the person than the looks.

Wibbs · 15-07-2015 10:33AM

cloud493 wrote: »

It got easier when I realised I was so disgusting no woman would ever want me either.

ehh… Wut? I'd be getting away from that thinking pronto.

chanelfreak wrote: »

I rate things like intelligence, wit and humour over looks. I mean pretty things are nice for a while, but no point in going out with someone who is only a face and nothing more.

It isn't exactly an either or scenario. You can have good looking and intelligent, witty and humorous in the same person. Or not as the case may be.

Saipanne · 15-07-2015 10:33AM

Confidence is the most attractive quality of all.

cloud493 · 15-07-2015 10:34AM

Theres only so much you can when you work with limited material though, ya know.

Sam Kade · 15-07-2015 10:35AM

blue note wrote: »

I think that most guys are regarded as ugly or plain looking to be honest. I was discussing looks with a female friend of mine the other day and she was making the point that women are typically less shallow, because you'll very rarely see a good looking guy with an unattractive girl whereas you'll often see unattractive guys with good looking girls.

I agreed to a point, but asked which of my male friends are good looking (she'd know most of them). Out of a sample of about 20 or 30 guys a couple "weren't bad" or were "alright" looking. These were near the end of the list when she realised that she was answering no to every single one. Then with her friends or girls in general I'd find lots of them attractive. And I think that's true for most guys that they are far more likely to regard girls as attractive.

Now there are other factors - make up and clothes on girls do make a difference. And I think girls are just better looking anyway to be honest. But I think the opposite of "girls are less shallow" is probably true - girls are completely unrealistic in what's good looking and not.

So OP, I wouldn't worry about it if you're unattractive / plain-looking. We all are to women. But you're beautiful to me

But men don't shovel on half an inch of makeup

Diamond Doll · 15-07-2015 10:35AM

I think we can be very cruel to ourselves and judge ourselves a lot more harshly than we would judge others.

I have a friend who (until recently) was around a size 22/24, and one of the prettiest girls I knew, with a gorgeous smile, lovely eyes, the most fabulous hair, a beautiful personality, and a contagious laugh. I never once judged her on her weight, yet I beat myself up when I've a bit of extra weight on.

I know plenty of people who wouldn't be considered good-looking and for whom it's never affected their relationships, job prospects, etc. And why should it?

People who are naturally good-looking may sometimes get more initial opportunities, but if they don't have the personality to match, others will soon see right through them.

Of course, the ideal would be to be gorgeous-looking and with a fabulous personality to match. Unfortunately however, ye can't all be like me! :pac:

chanelfreak · 15-07-2015 10:36AM

Wibbs wrote: »

ehh… Wut? I'd be getting away from that thinking pronto.

It isn't exactly an either or scenario. You can have good looking and intelligent, witty and humorous in the same person. Or not as the case may be.

Oh you

indioblack · 15-07-2015 10:42AM

cloud493 wrote: »

If it applies to you of course, since I'm sure theres some beautiful looking creatures on boards, how do you cope with being ugly? Cos I'm an ugly ass bastard, and it can be tough sometimes. I'm ugly, plain, lanky, etc.

My own general strategy is to be a hermit much as possible. Don't let anyone ever take a picture of me, try not to look at people as much as possible, don't make eye contact, avoid social contact as much as possible, and don't be out of my house for any longer than necessary, no attempts to force my ugly ass face on anyone. It got easier when I realised I was so disgusting no woman would ever want me either.

How about you guys?

I'd rather be ugly on the outside than on the inside.

15-07-2015 10:47AM

No need to be so hard on yourself OP, there's an easy solution.. money and lot's of it.

alchemist33 · 15-07-2015 10:51AM

Some of the sexiest people I know are plain or overweight. Attitude is the difference.

wp_rathead · 15-07-2015 10:52AM

Sorry to hear you feel the need to "live like a hermit" because how you think the world perceives you OP..

You think your "plain looking"? Fukcem, be plain looking - don't let it you dictating your life though

Tyrion Lannister: "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you."

valoren · 15-07-2015 10:53AM

Focus on what you can change.

Change your clothes to more fashionable, fitted clothes?
Get physically fit. Improve your endurance and strength?
Make sure you have a set regime for grooming. Nice hair cut, nails cut, teeth clean etc.

When you feel good about yourself, that confidence and happiness radiates from you.

purplecow1977 · 15-07-2015 10:55AM

Your self loathing, self hating comments and general lack of self confidence is far more of a turn off than any physical feature.

The good news is is that you can change that by liking and even loving yourself a bit more. I mean, if you don't like yourself or think much of yourself, how do you expect anyone else to??

valoren · 15-07-2015 10:55AM

This little piggy wrote: »

I think we can be very cruel to ourselves and judge ourselves a lot more harshly than we would judge others.

I have a friend who (until recently) was around a size 22/24, and one of the prettiest girls I knew, with a gorgeous smile, lovely eyes, the most fabulous hair, a beautiful personality, and a contagious laugh. I never once judged her on her weight, yet I beat myself up when I've a bit of extra weight on.

I know plenty of people who wouldn't be considered good-looking and for whom it's never affected their relationships, job prospects, etc. And why should it?

People who are naturally good-looking may sometimes get more initial opportunities, but if they don't have the personality to match, others will soon see right through them.

Of course, the ideal would be to be gorgeous-looking and with a fabulous personality to match. Unfortunately however, ye can't all be like me! :pac:

+1

Your looks will get you the interview. Your personality will land you the job.

cloud493 · 15-07-2015 10:55AM

purplecow1977 wrote: »

Your self loathing, self hating comments and general lack of self confidence is far more of a turn off than any physical feature.

The good news is is that you can change that by liking and even loving yourself a bit more. I mean, if you don't like yourself or think much of yourself, how do you expect anyone else to??

I don't expect them to :pac:

purplecow1977 · 15-07-2015 10:57AM

Blue note just an observation on your observation, I heard before that one of the reasons that you'll see good looking girls with less good looking guys is so that there is less competition and attention from other women who may lust after your partner!!

A good looking girl with a good looking guy may feel constantly on her toes, to prevent him from straying or getting his head turned!

Dan_Solo · 15-07-2015 10:59AM

Booze: makes you feel great and makes other people think you are great.
Win win. (except for the alleged problems with alcoholism)

4zn76tysfajdxp · 15-07-2015 11:00AM

alchemist33 wrote: »

Some of the sexiest people I know are plain or overweight. Attitude is the difference.

Some of the least sexy people I know are plain overweight, however.

purplecow1977 · 15-07-2015 11:00AM

I can't quote as I am on my phone, but okay. You don't expect people to like or love you, are you happy enough being you then? I thought you were looking for advice on how to improve your quality of life, hence why people have been making various suggestions? Was that not the case?

How do you get over being unattractive/plain-looking?

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