Joined at the hips

razorblunt · 09-07-2015 10:06PM

mailforkev wrote: »

How was he allowed bring her on a stag? Why did your group of friends accommodate this oddbod?

Stag options are very simple.
A. Friend comes minus girlfriend.
B. Friend doesn't come.

This! It's so easy, just tell him to come on his own or not come at all.
I wouldn't be getting up to anything on a stag but I'd think I'd throw my hat at it if someone like that came along.

09-07-2015 10:08PM

I'm not gonna lie. I'd take a stag over a hen any day of the bloody week. (though weekends would be my preference).

Not one me fella was going on though. Flippin Nora.

And this new shyte of a "hag" where the stag and the hen meet up. Fcuk. Off.

Butterface · 09-07-2015 10:10PM

Does he tag along with the gf when she's meeting her girl mates? Surely her friends would be just as pissed off when they invite her over for a girls night or whatever and he turns up!

Jaysus they'll get sick of each other quick!

Cold War Kid · 09-07-2015 10:11PM

I thought a hag was a gay guy's stag (lolled when I heard it being used in that context).

OldMrBrennan83 · 09-07-2015 10:15PM

This post has been deleted.

Collie D · 10-07-2015 07:18AM

Forget the man card. Anyone who brings their gf/wife on a stag should be forced to revoke his penis. They both should have been told to f off at the start.

Have been on stags where we've met up with the hens the evening we got home to Dublin. Was against that idea but actually wasn't so bad and technically the stag and hen weekends had finished so no real harm.

I wouldn't necessarily blame the woman in this situation. I'd be blaming him more.

fatknacker · 10-07-2015 07:26AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm not gonna lie. I'd take a stag over a hen any day of the bloody week. (though weekends would be my preference).

Not one me fella was going on though. Flippin Nora.

And this new shyte of a "hag" where the stag and the hen meet up. Fcuk. Off.

I don't see much too bad with that. Many of my friends are fellas. I would not want to exclude them from my pre wedding shindig because they don't want to wear feather boas and drink willy straws.
Even I'd be in the "fk that" camp for hens.

Diamond Doll · 10-07-2015 07:30AM

I lost touch with a friend because of something similar. Herself and her boyfriend literally moved in together the first night they met and were inseparable ever since. I never got on with him and she knew it, yet she'd insist on bringing him everywhere. If I met up with her for a coffee, he'd be there every time, and we wouldn't be able to have a proper chat. She'd bring him on every night out, which I wouldn't even mind, but they'd just sit on top of each other in the corner all night and ignore everyone else. He used to walk her in and out of work every day - a grown woman, no reason for it, he worked the other side of town! It was just a really unhealthy relationship, I'm not sure if it was down to insecurity or what. They're still together as far as I know, several years later, so I guess it works for them. Doubt they have many friends left though!

10-07-2015 07:40AM

fatknacker wrote: »

I don't see much too bad with that. Many of my friends are fellas. I would not want to exclude them from my pre wedding shindig because they don't want to wear feather boas and drink willy straws.
Even I'd be in the "fk that" camp for hens.

I agree, completely on that front. I know of hen nights that had men, and stags that had women (not the stripper kind).

The ones I'm talking about though aren't a mixed gender group of mates. It's that they should have been separate nights with separate friends, but the bride and groom couldn't bear to be apart for a night.

stoneill · 10-07-2015 07:50AM

How did she get on with the mickey measuring competition during the stag?

10-07-2015 07:52AM

stoneill wrote: »

How did she get on with the mickey measuring competition during the stag?

She forgot to bring her ruler.

10-07-2015 08:12AM

Arra anyone who brings their gf to a stag is just an arsehole to be pitied. As for her, the type of woman who would invite herself to a stag should be avoided like the plague, how...needy.

bucketybuck · 10-07-2015 08:25AM

The rest of the guys on that stag must have been a pussy whipped bunch of numpties. Did none of them have the balls to tell the happy couple to **** right off?

kylith · 10-07-2015 08:39AM

steddyeddy wrote: »

Guys I might have described the situation wrong but it's definitely not a case of home being whipped by her. Even when she's not out he calls her begging him to come out. It's just a weird weird interdependence him and her and some of their coupely friends have!

And have ye told him that ye don't want her there? Like "Tommy, don't bring your girlfriend. We want to have a night out with you, not her. If you bring her we will ditch the pair of ye".

Old Perry · 10-07-2015 08:44AM

steddyeddy wrote: »

Do you know any couples that can no longer function as individuals and have to involve their OH in everything? I've stopped going out with them am I being unreasonable?

as a wise philosopher once said 'kick her straight in the face!!"

10-07-2015 08:46AM

I love the way everyone is conveniently ignoring the fact that steddyeddy has said a few times that it's the boyfriend that's the problem, not the girl.

Easier just to assume he's "pussy whipped" I guess.

mailforkev · 10-07-2015 09:00AM

A few years back I used to work with a married woman in her late 30s who had never spent a single night apart from her husband. Not one. They had been married about a decade at the time.

We only found this out when the Xmas party was being organised as it was an overnighter on the other side of the country.

She 100% assumed her husband was welcome to come too. When this became apparent the boss had to have an awkward conversation to tell her that no, like a normal adult, you don't get a plus one to our Xmas piss-up.

She didn't come in the end.

Outwardly you would think she was completely normal too. She was confident and assertive with the bonus of being very good looking. But totally needy, the most unattractive trait of all.

Menas · 10-07-2015 09:07AM

Some couples are just like that. Do everything together.
Tis a bit strange to bring her along to a stag weekend though. The slagging one of our lads would get if he did that would be unimaginable.

LETHAL LADY · 10-07-2015 09:30AM

mailforkev wrote: »

A few years back I used to work with a married woman in her late 30s who had never spent a single night apart from her husband. Not one. They had been married about a decade at the time.

We only found this out when the Xmas party was being organised as it was an overnighter on the other side of the country.

She 100% assumed her husband was welcome to come too. When this became apparent the boss had to have an awkward conversation to tell her that no, like a normal adult, you don't get a plus one to our Xmas piss-up.

She didn't come in the end.

Outwardly you would think she was completely normal too. She was confident and assertive with the bonus of being very good looking. But totally needy, the most unattractive trait of all.

So basically you had the hots for a married woman and you were disappointed she didn't come to the overnight Xmas party alone.:p

PandaPoo · 10-07-2015 09:44AM

I know a couple like this. It's really annoying. They live in a different county to their families and the husband doesn't drive, so when she visits relatives in Dublin she brings him along. It's like she's afraid to leave him in the house by himself.

She thinks he'll die of starvation or something, because he doesn't drive. She went to a hen weekend and dropped the husband in her parents for the weekend

they didn't know what to be doing with him.

hoodwinked · 10-07-2015 09:50AM

Menas wrote: »

Some couples are just like that. Do everything together. .

that doesn't mean they are like the op,

My husband and i would do a lot together (where we both choose to do things together) he's like my best friend literally as we both love doing a lot of the same things, think along similar lines, probably love our "together" time more than most couples i know.

BUT i would NEVER join him on a boys night out, nevermind a stag, i have gone out with his friends but only when i was invited by them and him, not just tagged along, like wise even at home sometimes we just need "me time" to go watch something, go gaming, or go do some physical exercise so i can only imagine if she's joining him on stags he's getting very little "me time" that can be suffocating at times.

recently he had an opportunity with work that would take him to the other side of the world for a month, although i'd miss having him around i was fully ok with him going, (and i never entertained the idea of going with him ) and thats the way it should be imo,

likewise i'd never bring him on a girls night out, or if i was meeting my best friend for coffee/cinema..etc nor would he want to go.

so you can do everything together but not be together 24/7 what the op is talking about is just crazy!

Red Kev · 10-07-2015 09:52AM

Deleted User wrote: »

I agree, completely on that front. I know of hen nights that had men, and stags that had women (not the stripper kind).

If there's men at a Hen party or women at a Stag party, then it's not a Hen or Stag, it's just a piss up.

We were off to Sheffield a few years back for a Stag, one of the lads showed up with the wife, he was told straight out, her or us for the weekend, no compromise. She turned around and went home. Proper order too.

10-07-2015 10:03AM

Lounging around the house, going away on weekends, going out for meals, cinema, walks, drives, the beach etc. etc. - wife.

Pub, sports - not wife.

dont bother · 10-07-2015 10:06AM

the OP has said many times that it's BOTH people in the couple that are doing this.
they obviously love each others company. the stag do is a bit mad though!

however, Steadyeddy - have you stopped to think that maybe people grow up, and grow out of hanging around in groups of "mates" and settle into a sort of "married life"?

it's not them, it's you i think. if you have this horrible need to kind of "keep the gang together"....

in the couples eyes, it aint "the gang" that'll be there through thick and thin...

basically - the opposite of bro's before hoes.

10-07-2015 10:09AM

Red Kev wrote: »

If there's men at a Hen party or women at a Stag party, then it's not a Hen or Stag, it's just a piss up.

We were off to Sheffield a few years back for a Stag, one of the lads showed up with the wife, he was told straight out, her or us for the weekend, no compromise. She turned around and went home. Proper order too.

I'm thinking more girls who are one of the lads, but are not in any sort of relationship with any of the lads. They don't happen often, I only know of two of them. But yeh, you're probably right about them not being called hens/stags.

Pighead · 10-07-2015 10:26AM

steddyeddy wrote: »

I asked him for advice in confidence a while ago

Compare yourself to yourself not to others. Focus outward rather than inwards. Face a fear. Be strong and don't be afraid of failure.

10-07-2015 10:26AM

Certainly would not be for me - I need my "me" time either without the girlfriends when I am with friends - or just me entirely alone. The idea of bringing them everywhere I go every time would be as horrific to me as it is to them. So I can not even get myself into the mind space required to comment on the scenarios the OP describes.

Sleepy · 10-07-2015 10:33AM

How does one even begin to come to the notion that their wife / they are welcome to a friend's / their husbands friends stag do?

Were they dropped on the head or what?

fatknacker · 10-07-2015 10:33AM

I have to say I was a little disappointed to be excluded from 2 of my very good mates stag's a while back. We've been friends a good while and there were never any relationship things or anything between us all. I thought they considered me a friend more than a pair of lovely knockers. I mean, I got over it easily and didn't lose sleep. But still. Thought we were all mates and it didn't matter. Guess it did.

Collie D · 10-07-2015 11:29AM

fatknacker wrote: »

I have to say I was a little disappointed to be excluded from 2 of my very good mates stag's a while back. We've been friends a good while and there were never any relationship things or anything between us all. I thought they considered me a friend more than a pair of lovely knockers. I mean, I got over it easily and didn't lose sleep. But still. Thought we were all mates and it didn't matter. Guess it did.

I'm afraid the law is quite strict on this. No matter how friendly you are with the lads you're not going on a stag.

I still can't get my head around why anybody would think bringing the girlfriend was acceptable. Fair play to the lads on the Sheffield stag who put the couple straight.

I'm not even sure how I feel about gay men going on hen nights.

Joined at the hips

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