House broken into

PTH2009 · 09-07-2015 08:18PM #1

If someone broke into your house and u caught them what would you do ?? Invite them to a cup of tea lol

Sheep Lover · 09-07-2015 08:19PM

Pretend I was robbing the place too and tell them to fcuk off and find their own.

pappyodaniel · 09-07-2015 08:19PM

Great thread man.

TheBody · 09-07-2015 08:19PM

"It rubs the loting on it's skin......."

nullzero · 09-07-2015 08:20PM

Help them with stealing my knives by storing them neatly in their face

StupidLikeAFox · 09-07-2015 08:23PM

Lol

09-07-2015 08:29PM

It depends. If it were just me and they didn't have any obvious weapons, I'd defend myself and my possessions. If they did have weapons, I'd leave them to it. Things can be replaced, my life and my health cannot. However if I had children or a partner, I'd fight them tooth and nail regardless.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 09-07-2015 08:30PM

Well they're already in so no invitation would be needed. It's hard to know how you'd react unless you are put into the situation, I'd imagine nine times out of ten the thieves will just leg it once they cop somebodies home.

K4t · 09-07-2015 08:32PM

Ask them politely to stop what they're doing and leave the scene, in a tone similar to the one used by Patrick Swayze towards Warchild in Point Break - Seriously.

punisher5112 · 09-07-2015 08:36PM

I would ask them to wait while I wait for kettle to boil or a pan of oil.

Then plant it right on their face.

Use anything that comes to hand such as lynx as the lynx affect and eyes don't mix well.

Mag lite torch to the face along with a base ball bat.

El Weirdo · 09-07-2015 08:38PM

As I've said before when this thread has come up, no one has a fucking clue what they will do until they are in that situation.

That won't stop many of the torture porn fantasists in here though.

NachoBusiness · 09-07-2015 08:42PM

I caught a guy coming in the window one night and all his friends were out side, waiting for him to open the door I suppose. I was half asleep and just started roaring and when he heard me he dragged his legs back out. I opened the door and they all just legged it. I'm glad though as I had no idea what I would have said. Also opened the door when I heard gunshots many years ago, rather foolishly. Sounded like fireworks in my defense though.

punisher5112 · 09-07-2015 08:42PM

El Weirdo wrote: »

As I've said before when this thread has come up, no one has a fucking clue what they will do until they are in that situation.

That won't stop many of the torture porn fantasists in here though.

Burn em burn em all..... Burn the house down

RayM · 09-07-2015 08:47PM

Like most people, I'd probably freeze. Then I'd spend the rest of the evening thinking of all the things I should have done.

efb · 09-07-2015 08:49PM

I'd be all hard ass like the guys here- more likely I'd gtfo and call the gardai

Señor Fancy Pants · 09-07-2015 08:52PM

No heroics, it's not TV. This is what I would do.

Start a thread here saying that I heard a noise, it's dark, I'm all alone and scared.

Start another thread in Paranormal looking for advice about the ghost that's making noises in my house.

Start another thread in Emergency Services requesting AGS and ghostbusters assistance.

Start a thread in the Pet forum about my cute cat that's freaking me the Fcuk out because it's hissing at **** I can't see.

Start another thread in AH after I cop that its actually not a ghost but a breaker iner of houses.

Start a thread in Personal Issues because I now love the breaker iner and want him to have my babies.

Start a thread in Travel and ask if anyone else went to Stolkholm and got the syndrome.

Start a thread in Survival & Self Suffiviency about what to have in my bug out bag as I'm planning my escape.

Update my thread in the Pet forum asking if anyone seen my cat.

Start a thread in Motors looking to know how fast my 1.1 litre red car can go and if I hit 88mph while leaving the house will I really go into the future.

Get banned for opening loads of threads across different forums.

Open a DR thread, then get a site ban, open a prison thread appealing the site ban.

Close account, re reg 158 times then sulk for a week.

Fcuk it, the guy that breaks in can just have it all, that all sounds like waaaay too much effort!

The Backwards Man · 09-07-2015 09:03PM

I'd beat the crap out of them, then I'd go round El Weirdo's gaff and beat the crap out of him too.

Not a NSA agent · 09-07-2015 09:05PM

Set up a series of traps like in Home Alone but they wouldnt work and I end up violently murdered.

Otherwise I'll leave and replace my stuff by stealing from the backwards man he's out beating el weirdo.

foggy_lad · 09-07-2015 09:08PM

I'd ride them sideways

PizzamanIRL · 09-07-2015 09:11PM

I'm prepared for a house break in. I have the Angelus recorded and ready to play at the click of a button. As soon as I set it off, they will have no other choice but to stop what they're doing and stare aimlessly into space.

Trudiha · 09-07-2015 09:27PM

Start screaming at my Missus, 'now aren't you sorry not to have given me the code to the gun cupboard?' Just the way I did when we had a cat in the garden.

(In case there is any confusion, I didn't want to shot a cat, I'm just a bit jumpy and she thinks this would translate into me being a bit trigger happy.)

suicide_circus · 09-07-2015 10:34PM

I'd grab my mini bat and make a lot of noise in the hope they'd leave. only if they actually came into the room would the mini bat come into play

Ruu · 09-07-2015 10:46PM

Exchange numbers to catch up later and have dinner, seems the polite thing to do.

SmilesInMass · 09-07-2015 10:48PM

Get my cock out and start doing the helicopter. It'll either get rid of him or I'll end up getting lucky. Win win.

mad m · 09-07-2015 11:04PM

Happened to me one night, was in a rage I went after them, caught up with one and had a base ball bat. Bat seemed to hit him on the shoulder for some reason, bat had a mind of its own.

Just as my trusty bat hit him, an unmarked squad car flashed their lights. Scumbag hit the ground rolling in pain as my trusty bat fell to ground. Gard's came over wondering what was going on, I said this fecker broke into mine.

As soon as they seen him they knew him and their was a warrant out for his arrest, he was screaming on ground saying how my trusty bat had hit him, they looked at him and said, we didn't see any bat.......

Scumbag got 3months..

Gongoozler · 09-07-2015 11:17PM

Well I can say what I would do, as I have been in that situation...
Thumped the living sh*t out of my boyfriend to try and wake him up, when that didn't work I, stupidly, decided to go ask them wtf were they doing. They ran off. Got in through a broken window. Never really considered how badly that could have gone. but as far as I was concerned, they were going to come stab us in our sleep. dunno, guess you could call it instinct.

I'm only little though, I shouldn't be doing things like that.

wil · 10-07-2015 12:54AM

PTH2009 wrote: »

Invite them to a cup of tea lol

Tealol

Is that herbal?

RayM · 10-07-2015 12:59AM

wil wrote: »

Tealol

Is that herbal?

'tea lol'?

I don't like any of that funny tea.

Son Of A Vidic · 10-07-2015 01:00AM

PTH2009 wrote: »

If someone broke into your house and u caught them what would you do ??

Shake their hand and crack open a few beers, to celebrate them making it past my German Shepherds alive.

wil · 10-07-2015 01:00AM

Gongoozler wrote: »

Thumped the living sh*t out of my boyfriend to try and wake him up, when that didn't work I, stupidly, decided to go ask them wtf were they doing. They ran off. ....

I'm only little though, I shouldn't be doing things like that.

Neat idea, beating the **** out of your bf to scare the **** out of burglars:eek:.

Cookie_Dough · 10-07-2015 01:05AM

Clicked into thread thinking someone's house had been broken into & it turns out to be a hypothetical question type thread...disappointing

House broken into

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