Anyone regret having kids?

Realist2 · 28-06-2015 11:54PM #1

so this one time on midday on tv3 a few years ago this topic came up and they discussed it and debated it and people rang in anonymously and left Voice messages, i couldn't believe the responses, so negative, i remember a oldish enough woman said never do it as she had kids and they grew up always fighting with eachother and giving her grief all her life. anyone share these kind of views?

FortySeven · 28-06-2015 11:56PM

Not one bit, only regret is the state of the world we are leaving for them.

Glebee · 28-06-2015 11:57PM

Only regret is I did not have them when I was younger.

NIMAN · 28-06-2015 11:59PM

You are one sick parent to say honestly you wish you'd never had kids.

Micky Dolenz · 28-06-2015 11:59PM

Stop the press, siblings fight with each other. Keeps the world turning.

Ulnar · 29-06-2015 12:04AM

I can honestly say I never regret having my kids. When they do something sweet I know that's their dads genes and when they do something bad I know that's my genes shining on through ;-)

Buck Melanoma · 29-06-2015 12:07AM

Realist2 wrote: »

so this one time on midday on tv3 a few years ago this topic came up and they discussed it and debated it and people rang in anonymously and left Voice messages, i couldn't believe the responses, so negative, i remember a oldish enough woman said never do it as she had kids and they grew up always fighting with eachother and giving her grief all her life. anyone share these kind of views?

Nope, not me.

eviltwin · 29-06-2015 12:08AM

Luckily I don't but I'm not surprised there are people who do. Some people are just not cut out to be parents or have children who are very challenging. I remember in a previous job talking to a woman who had a son convicted of a serious crime, he'd always been violent and had put her and her husband through hell. She told me she wished he'd never been born. I don't judge her for that. The stigma means very few will ever admit to it.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 29-06-2015 12:10AM

Not one bit, my world would be so empty without them.

Mardy Bum · 29-06-2015 12:11AM

In evolutionary terms I'd say it is probably built in that you can't totally regret having them no matter what sort of horrendous acts they cause.

philstar · 29-06-2015 12:15AM

not at all

myself and my wife have being trying for a baby for years after several miscarriages

but after years of trying we now have an adorable little son, he's just turned 8, bit bossy says he wants to be king of the world

here's a school photo of him

Day Lewin · 29-06-2015 12:30AM

Never.
I have five and all grown up: they fought as kids but now they are sensible, cheerful law-abiding sociable adults. Great company and the pride of my life.
Yes it was hard work and short cash for years and I made a million mistakes, but people are resilient and they survived!

wakka12 · 29-06-2015 12:34AM

NIMAN wrote: »

You are one sick parent to say honestly you wish you'd never had kids.

Some kids are horrible and irresponsible. I watched my grandmother get sent to the grave early because of her selfish children fighting over ****ing money, they didnt care about anybody but themselves and one even threatened suicide if he wasnt given more money , it wasnt even needed it was so he could buy a new house. The fighting tore apart the family and their mother just couldn't take the stress and fighting and pressure and she died at just 67, and she was perfectly healthy before the fighting started.

She loved her children and tried her best to make them all happy but nothing ws ever good enough for them. The only one out of the 4 who wasnt a complete cnut was my mother. If I had heard my grand mother say she wished shed never had these children I would completely respect that.

Some sons and daughters just aren't worth the trouble.

Slydice · 29-06-2015 12:34AM

I've worked with a few parents recently. They all seem to regret giving kids too much sugar or thinking they'd be able to sleep beyond six o clock in the morning

Turtyturd · 29-06-2015 12:35AM

Isn't your other thread along similar lines still going OP?

Realist2 · 29-06-2015 12:42AM

Turtyturd wrote: »

Isn't your other thread along similar lines still going OP?

yes, clear to see, a bit of different spin here, but it shows I'm consistent, hehe

Mr_Muffin · 29-06-2015 12:44AM

It's just one of those things people will never admit to.

I'm sure most of the young mothers would love to be out partying and enjoying their youth instead of looking after a little baby but it's not socially acceptable to admit it.

Banjo String · 29-06-2015 12:47AM

How would anyone regret having kids?

Fathers day has just passed, my eldest daughter (4) got me a card, made it in pre school.

Some of the questions and answers...

Dad's age? (22) fair enough, I've 15 years experience though.
My dad's favourite drink? (Coke) fair enough, I'm partial to the odd 'zero'
My dad's favourite food? (Spicy noodles) what?
What I love about my dad most? (His sqidgy hugs and he makes me laugh) feelings mutual hun xxx

Not even for a second do I regret having mine. Not even on bank holidays and Sunday mornings hangovers!

Cold War Kid · 29-06-2015 12:55AM

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

I'm sure most of the young mothers would love to be out partying and enjoying their youth instead of looking after a little baby but it's not socially acceptable to admit it.

I've heard of this being admitted numerous times, although they don't say they wish they'd never had them, but that they'd had them at a later age.

eviltwin · 29-06-2015 12:56AM

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I've heard of this being admitted numerous times, although they don't say they wish they'd never had them, but that they'd had them at a later age.

In fairness I think all parents have those moments. I know I do. It's not regret though.

TheLastMohican · 29-06-2015 03:09AM

My Mam?

harry Bailey esq · 29-06-2015 06:34AM

I regret having kids,its half six and I can't sleep because of the heartburn. I should have chosen the monkfish

R.D. aka MR.D · 29-06-2015 07:52AM

The lovely woman :rolleyes: that I have as a mother repeatedly told me growing up that having my sibling and I ruined her life.

She told me that she regrets having us.

So, it definitely happens.

galljga1 · 29-06-2015 08:02AM

On hungover mornings when they are running around the house screaming.
Sometimes, I let them in just to shut them up.

maggiepip · 29-06-2015 08:06AM

Slightly off the point but it infuriates me that some (and maybe a lot) of people consider it a right, a done thing to have kids and put zero thought into it, and little effort into doing whats best for the child, then feel hard done by when things go wrong and do the poor me routine. No kids myself and no regrets because I dont think I'd be able to cope with the worry of it all. Love my dogs though:)

hairyslug · 29-06-2015 08:07AM

I do miss the freedom of no kids but christ, I would be lost without my 3

29-06-2015 08:12AM

Not so far. We are planning two more sometime in the future - so I may yet

Diamond Doll · 29-06-2015 08:15AM

Having kids - it's like jumping off a cliff, if you make the decision, you're committed to the end. It's not like moving house, or starting a new job, or starting a new relationship, where you can just up and leave whenever you want.

Once you have a child, you'll never stop being a parent, no matter what happens.

I have one child, a toddler. Say if I do everything right, as a parent, and he still ends up being a complete arsehole as an adult? Say if I end up being the mother of Ireland's next big serial killer? While I can't imagine wishing my child was dead, I can imagine how someone could wish their child had never been born in the first place.

As it is - no, I certainly don't regret having him, and I hope to have more children in the future. And I commit to being the best parent that I can be to any children I have. Hopefully that'll be enough!

mushu · 29-06-2015 08:18AM

It took 3 hours to get the 7 month old to go to sleep last night.
My 3 year old had a tantrum in tesco yesterday because I wouldn't buy a whole fish (daddy hates fish, it'd be a waste), and again at home because he decided he didn't want the chilli he'd specifically asked for as his dinner, he wanted pig bacon.
Baby has two teeth and loves biting really hard when she's finished her milk, I'm expecting permanent damage

I can't remember the last time I went out for a date with my husband, wore clean clothes for longer than 5 mins or bought y self any kind of treat.

Little man tells me he loves me and gives me big wet sloppy kisses.
Lil lady has learned how to give hugs, and pushes off whoever is holding her to give me one when I get home from work.

Why would I regret my babies

Don't know what I'd do without them

The Corinthian · 29-06-2015 08:51AM

Everyone has regrets where it comes to having children. That's perfectly normal; loss of freedom, cost and (you really don't realize until you have one) you are in a constant state of worry about their future. Anyone who claims that they don't have any regrets is frankly lying through their teeth and afraid of breaking the old parental love taboo.

But to actually regret - that is on balance would have not had them were they to do it all over again - it probably fairly rare. I suspect those who do had children for the wrong reasons, or did not choose to do so and even then most of even those probably don't regret doing so in the end.

Rosie Gardens · 29-06-2015 09:16AM

hairyslug wrote: »

I do miss the freedom of no kids but christ, I would be lost without my 3

Exactly my thoughts, I do miss the freedom that being child free has, but I'd never be without them. For all the tantrums, the fights, the not eating what's put in the front of them, there are the cuddles, the uproarious laughter at slapstick, the home made cards that leave glitter everywhere MORE than makes up for it. You don't loose anything, things just change.

And when you do get a bit of freedom... don't ya just enjoy every fecking minute of it?

Anyone regret having kids?

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